Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S08E01 — Pop-Pop - The Final Solution

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 8, Episode 1 — Pop-Pop - The Final Solution

#1
Attention!

#2
Attention, everyone!

#3
Gather round, please!

#4
Gather round!

#5
Mac has a very important announcement!

#6
Because of my sudden and unfortunate weight loss, the bar

#7
is now in extreme risk.

#8
And as head of security, this concerns me.

#9
So Mac's made a couple of moves.

#10
And that first move... is this.

#11
SWEET DEE: Jesus Christ.

#12
Jesus.

#13
Perfect for ocular pat-downs.

#14
Now I can determine a subject's threat level without him being able to feel my

#15
retinal assessment.

#16
Which is a great advantage because the guy can't see how scared Mac is.

#17
Yes, and... No, that's not what it's about. It's not...

#18
Huh? Oh, I thought that you were scared every time you went to go to...

#19
That's classified!

#20
Look, this whole point is to make them feel safer, all right?

#21
We don't feel safer.

#22
And, Mac, there will never come a time where you will need those.

#23
Mark my words, Dennis, there will come a time when I will

#24
utilize these glasses to assess a threat and then...

#25
Are they still standing there?

#26
No, they walked away.

#27
My peripheral is a little compromised.

#28
Yeah, you can't see out the sides, and that's a disadvantage, so...

#29
Oh, good... you're all here.

#30
Who invited the Jew lawyer?

#31
Not Jewish.

#32
Hold on, punk.

#33
He's clear.

#34
He's clear.

#35
You know, I-I really do not understand you people.

#36
You know, it's funny, most of the time I'm trying to get away

#37
from you, and yet when I really need to get in touch with you,

#38
I can't get you to return my phone calls.

#39
Mmm, don't need you, don't care.

#40
Eh... out you go.

#41
Lovely.

#42
As the executor of your mother's estate, I'm here to inform you

#43
that her father, Heinrich Landgraf, has fallen into a coma.

#44
Pop-Pop?

#45
He's being kept alive by a respirator.

#46
As per the will, the only living blood relatives, the

#47
ever-charming Dee and Dennis Reynolds are the only people

#48
empowered to decide whether or not he stays on those machines.

#49
Are you saying that we have to decide whether that old Nazi

#50
bitch lives or dies?

#51
There's that charm.

#52
That is correct.

#53
I'll await your decision.

#54
Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

#55
Pop-Pop's room's right down here.

#56
How do you know, Frank?

#57
I come here every week and feed him soup, take care of him.

#58
That's nice of you, you know?

#59
Help a man keep his dignity in his final years.

#60
Somebody's got to do it.

#61
Oh! Oh! Oh!

#62
Oh, Jesus Christ!

#63
Ugh!

#64
I didn't have a chance to tidy.

#65
T... Tidy?

#66
Frank, the man is rotting.

#67
Oh, God, why hasn't someone done something in here?

#68
I told the staff I got it.

#69
You don't got it.

#70
You don't have it at all.

#71
Yeah, what is the overwhelming smell?

#72
Oh, that's the soup.

#73
Yeah, well, if he doesn't finish, sometimes I leave 'em

#74
for him, and then I forget and then months go by.

#75
Jesus Christ, Frank, what the hell is really going on here?

#76
Look, the guy always said he had Nazi treasure stashed away.

#77
I figure I spend some time with him, he gives it to me.

#78
All right, well, pretty good plan; execution leaves a lot to be desired.

#79
Okay, well, speaking of execution, we're just gonna pull

#80
the plug on this creep and get out of here, right?

#81
Whoa. Whoa, h-hold on a second, Dee, I mean, that's a big decision.

#82
How so?

#83
We're talking about taking a man's life.

#84
Yeah, but he was a Nazi, so it's kind of, like, eh...

#85
Well, yeah, I get that, but, I mean, he was our grandfather.

#86
Okay, maybe we got to think this through a little bit more.

#87
Yeah.

#88
Oh, my God, make a decision already!

#89
Are you eating the soup?!

#90
Is he eating the soup?

#91
Yes.

#92
I'm sorry. I was hungry.

#93
I made a decision to eat the soup.

#94
I didn't sit around thinking all day, "Hey, do I do this?

#95
Do I not do this?"

#96
We are making a decision about whether or not to take a

#97
man's life, not whether or not to eat old rancid soups.

#98
Okay, listen, I think we just need to gather a little bit more

#99
information before we make our decision, right?

#100
Yeah, you guys think it over, think it over.

#101
Mac, can you come here for a second?

#102
What?

#103
All Frank's talk about Nazi treasure... got me thinking about something.

#104
Okay, you remember that box of stuff Pop-Pop gave me a few years ago?

#105
It was, like, all this old stuff, Nazi shit that he got from the war?

#106
Holy shit!

#107
Yeah. Didn't we burn that all in the alley?

#108
Not all of it.

#109
There was a painting in that box, a very special dog painting

#110
that I mounted on my wall.

#111
You and my dad share this futon?

#112
Now, Frank hated this painting, you know?

#113
He made me take it down.

#114
I do not like this painting, Charlie.

#115
Its smug aura mocks me.

#116
It's evil, Charlie.

#117
Evil.

#118
And it's been in that box ever since.

#119
Uh-huh. So what?

#120
By the way, man, this is why we work well together, you know?

#121
You see free soup, you make a decision to eat it.

#122
It's horrible.

#123
It's terrible soup, but we got to stick with our decisions, right?

#124
Yeah, I can't go back on it now.

#125
No, no. All right, anyway... do you think that that painting

#126
could've been the Nazi treasure that Frank's looking for?

#127
Mm. I've made a decision.

#128
Yes.

#129
Yes, right?

#130
Yeah.

#131
Okay. You got to help me find it.

#132
Let's slip out of here so they don't notice.

#133
Okay. They're standing two feet away from us, so they are

#134
gonna notice, but let's just run out of here; they'll think we

#135
made a quick decision to leave.

#136
Damn it, dude!

#137
All right, I remember exactly what happened, all right?

#138
Frank took it down, told me to get rid of it; I stashed it away

#139
somewhere, but then what-what happened to it from there,

#140
I don't know.

#141
Hey, Charlie, come here.

#142
Dude, you got to check this out.

#143
Look at all these old photos of Hitler with German shepherds.

#144
Oh, holy shit.

#145
Yeah. But check this out.

#146
Oh, my God!

#147
Yeah. Hitler painted German shepherds all the time.

#148
He was, like, obsessed.

#149
Dude, I'm thinking that maybe that painting could be...

#150
An original Hitler.

#151
Yes!

#152
Yeah!

#153
Holy shit, dude, this is huge!

#154
We are gonna become famous treasure hunters.

#155
I'm thinking, Hollywood is gonna make a Da Vinci Code style

#156
thriller about us!

#157
I can finally be Indiana Jones!

#158
Yeah, yeah, and then I get it back on my wall!

#159
Yeah. Well, we're not gonna put it back up on your wall.

#160
It'll probably go in a museum.

#161
What? No-no-no-no-no.

#162
It looks so good here.

#163
It belongs in a museum, and that's the end of this.

#164
Okay, you know what, can you call Frank?

#165
Because he's gonna remember the details.

#166
I knew that I stashed it away somewhere, but it's-it's gone.

#167
I can't find it.

#168
Do we have to involve Frank?

#169
You know what, yeah, we'll just tiptoe around the language.

#170
I'll play it cool.

#171
Just play it cool.

#172
Mac!

#173
Hey, Frank.

#174
Where are you?

#175
You sound strained.

#176
I'm stuck in a window over at Pop-Pop's house.

#177
I got to find this treasure.

#178
Treasure, what treasure?

#179
I don't even know what you're talking about. There probably is no treasure.

#180
I'll bet you there's no treasure, so you can just stop

#181
looking for the treasure, okay, 'cause there's no treasure.

#182
Hey, man, you know where that, um, worthless old dog painting

#183
that you had hanging up in your apartment- do you know where that might be?

#184
The dog painting? Oh!

#185
That was evil.

#186
I threw that thing out.

#187
I'm pretty sure I saw Cricket scampering away with it.

#188
Cricket?

#189
Hey, listen, Mac.

#190
You do me a favor.

#191
I'm really stuck in this window.

#192
Will you come and get me?

#193
Okay, nice.

#194
We got to get Cricket.

#195
I know just where to find him.

#196
Dust is a nice touch.

#197
Yes. I don't like you wearing the glasses, though.

#198
They're supposed to assess a threat.

#199
Oh, Cricket could be a threat.

#200
No, I have cleared him on multiple occasions.

#201
Here we go. Hello!

#202
Hey, Cricks.

#203
Dog pound, huh? Weird.

#204
Wow.

#205
Oh!

#206
Ugh. Ooh.

#207
Oh, Jesus Christ, that's gruesome.

#208
Yeah, I got into a skirmish with a stray chocolate lab.

#209
I won't go into details, but suffice to say, that dog is very paralyzed now.

#210
Anyway, they got me doing this, uh, this community service thing.

#211
Yeah, but I'm kind of a dog executioner, so, uh, looks like

#212
old Cricket got the last laugh.

#213
Wow.

#214
Yeah.

#215
You're putting the dogs down?

#216
Well, uh, no.

#217
You know, yeah, mostly just, you know, cleaning up the poops, you

#218
know, washing out their cages, that kind of thing.

#219
Ah. Sounds like you're a dog janitor then.

#220
Yeah, that's more like they got the last laugh.

#221
Cricks, Frank said you know something about a dog painting

#222
that he threw away that you might have scampered off with.

#223
Yeah, worthless dog painting.

#224
Yeah, yeah, dog painting, sure, yeah.

#225
Oh, very evil vibes.

#226
Yeah, I sold it.

#227
To who?

#228
Hmm? Oh, some guy.

#229
You know, he's coming down here, he's all bent out of shape, you

#230
know, that he had to put down his German shepherd.

#231
Well, I notice his dog looks just like the one in the painting.

#232
I see an opportunity.

#233
Make three bucks. Ba-da-boom!

#234
Wait.

#235
He's cool. He's not a threat.

#236
Phew!

#237
I know he's not a threat!

#238
I told you, I've assessed him... I've just cleared him.

#239
You are not using the glasses correctly, and it's driving me crazy, okay?

#240
I thought I used it.

#241
Could you tell how scared I was?

#242
No, I could not. I could not.

#243
Mara?

#244
Uh, yeah, boss.

#245
Got a mastiff in here, just had explosive diarrhea.

#246
I've never seen anything like it. Get your ass in here.

#247
Come on.

#248
Hello? Somebody there?

#249
Help me out of here!

#250
I'm stuck! I can't get out of here!

#251
Frank? What is happening?

#252
What are you doing?

#253
I'm trapped.

#254
That goddamn trunk is booby-trapped.

#255
It's not booby-trapped, Frank; it's an empty trunk, and you fell into it like a

#256
Weeble wobble.

#257
Let's go. Come on.

#258
Jesus!

#259
Oh! Oh! Oh!

#260
Oh, God.

#261
Frank, there's no point in you looking for a treasure, okay?

#262
If there's anything of value in this house, we are the ones who

#263
inherit it once he dies.

#264
You're wasting your time.

#265
I mean, it's crazy.

#266
Dennis, check out these old films- "New Years '74,"

#267
"Thanksgiving '68."

#268
Way.

#269
"Summer Camp '81."

#270
'81? Oh, that's us.

#271
That's our summer camp.

#272
Yeah, that's us. Yeah.

#273
Fire that up.

#274
I want to check that out.

#275
Oh, see, Frank, Dee and I have been talking, and I don't think

#276
we're gonna... I don't think we're gonna off Pop-Pop.

#277
You know, I mean, yeah, sure, the guy's got a little bit of a

#278
sordid past, absolutely, but you know, everybody deserves a second chance.

#279
Yeah, he was just following orders.

#280
You know what I mean?

#281
Yeah. Let's not try and justify why a man would join the Nazis and...

#282
Right. Right, right, right, yeah, I see what you're saying.

#283
'Cause that's gonna get us too far away from... We won't be able to...

#284
...the point that we're trying to make, which is that

#285
the man moved to America, you know, to put all that horrible shit behind him.

#286
Right. Right.

#287
And he wanted to turn his life around, and that's what he did, Frank.

#288
He turned his life around.

#289
People do that.

#290
People do that. Exactly.

#291
Oh, here we go. Look at me.

#292
Oh!

#293
Oh, God, you remember that car?

#294
Yes.

#295
Oh, look at those two little rug rats.

#296
Oh, I was so cute!

#297
Oh, man, and look at Pop... Look at how sweet he is!

#298
Yeah, God, he was a sweet guy.

#299
This is great.

#300
That's the camp.

#301
Oh, we loved it there.

#302
God, it's... it's all flooding back to me now.

#303
Did we wear those uniforms?

#304
I don't remember those. Do you?

#305
I don't remember that.

#306
But yeah, see if there's sound.

#307
I want to... I'd like to pop some sound on.

#308
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

#309
Look at this guy.

#310
Remember this guy? Ah.

#311
I totally remember that guy.

#312
He was always so jazzed up about everything.

#313
He was so excited, and he would get us all excited, do you remember that?

#314
Get the whole crowd jazzed up, the whole camp.

#315
Here we go.

#316
That is why it is so important that we all must unify.

#317
The more we come together, the stronger we become.

#318
Now, listen close, kids.

#319
These goddamn niggers and Jews are trying to take over this

#320
country, and we've got to take it back!

#321
Oops.

#322
Yeah.

#323
That just took a turn.

#324
Sieg heil!

#325
Sieg heil! Sieg heil!

#326
Oh, that's us.

#327
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm doing that.

#328
Sieg heil! Sieg heil! Sieg... Okay, that settles it.

#329
Let's fry this turkey.

#330
Yes.

#331
All set?

#332
Ready?

#333
Whoa, whoa, hang on.

#334
Hang on a second.

#335
Are you sure you want to watch him die?

#336
What do you mean, watch him die? We have to watch him die?

#337
Well, you do something like pull the plug, and you got to

#338
stay there until the lights go out.

#339
You know, maybe we need to experience that on a smaller

#340
scale first, and just kind of see how we feel about it?

#341
Kill something less important first.

#342
See what that does inside.

#343
Move up.

#344
I have an idea.

#345
You want to watch a dog get put down?

#346
Yeah, we want to see how it feels.

#347
Great. I got just the one.

#348
Ah, I feel like we need to pick the dog.

#349
You know what I mean?

#350
'Cause we need to feel the full weight of the decision.

#351
Mm-hmm.

#352
Okay, fine.

#353
No.

#354
Oh, no.

#355
Come on. No.

#356
Uh... no.

#357
Oh. No!

#358
Oh. Come on, guy. No!

#359
Pick me?

#360
What?

#361
Put me down! Pick me!

#362
I deserve it.

#363
Okay. New plan.

#364
We're doing the right thing, Dennis.

#365
We're not killers.

#366
You know what I mean?

#367
No, we have to think about ourselves here.

#368
I don't want to live with pulling the plug on somebody.

#369
No. Let's just let Pop-Pop and Cricket and these dogs die

#370
as nature intended.

#371
Slowly and painfully.

#372
Mm-hmm.

#373
All right.

#374
All right, guys.

#375
Here we go.

#376
All right, everybody.

#377
Go, get out of here.

#378
Go and be free. Go and be free.

#379
Oh, we're all free.

#380
There we go.

#381
Go on.

#382
We're all free. Yeah.

#383
I'm one of you guys.

#384
All right, so this is the address.

#385
All right.

#386
This is the spot, huh?

#387
Here.

#388
Okay. "Bret Da Lawyer, a Denial Correlation."

#389
What does that mean?

#390
Pretty good. That's close.

#391
It's "Brett DeLauter, a Dental Corporation."

#392
Guy's a dentist.

#393
Huh. All right, let's check it out.

#394
Yeah.

#395
Whoa.

#396
Wow.

#397
Oh, shit.

#398
Mac, look. There it is.

#399
Oh.

#400
Holy shit, this dentist must have gone insane after his dog died.

#401
I mean, look at this.

#402
Charlie, I'm beginning to think that we may have stumbled

#403
onto one of the greatest discoveries of modern times.

#404
Follow me here.

#405
What if the key to Adolf Hitler's madness was the death

#406
of his dog?

#407
What?

#408
Okay, when he was a kid, he had this little, sweet, little

#409
puppy, and he was the happiest chap in all of Germany.

#410
Right, "I love chocolate. I love my dogs."

#411
Yeah, but then his beloved pet was ripped from him, and he

#412
was like, "That's it.

#413
I'm totally going to kill everybody, take over the world."

#414
That is what happened.

#415
I mean, that's definitely what happened.

#416
Oh, hi, you must be Mr.

#417
Miller.

#418
No.

#419
Yeah.

#420
Ready for those braces?

#421
Yeah, but I wanted the... Yeah, we can go in.

#422
Yeah.

#423
We can pop in real quick.

#424
Yep.

#425
Dude, I'm telling you, this is like The Da Vinci Code.

#426
Oh, man, I wonder who's going to play me.

#427
I was thinking maybe Mark Wahlberg.

#428
What do you think?

#429
Hmm, no, you're right, he couldn't match my intensity.

#430
Ryan Gosling... it's locked in.

#431
It's gonna be Ryan Gosling.

#432
I can't wait to get that painting back up on my wall.

#433
You know what I mean?

#434
That's what this is really all about when you think about it.

#435
No, that's not what this is about.

#436
This is about ripping open the fabric of historical fact and

#437
making a film about it starring Ryan Gosling as Mac.

#438
Okay, well, I'll play Hitler, then.

#439
That'd be cool.

#440
What are you talking about?

#441
I play Hitler in the movie.

#442
Okay, Hitler's not even in it.

#443
It takes place in present day.

#444
Oh, it could be a time- traveling thing.

#445
I see what you're saying.

#446
So then Hitler comes back from the past, he joins us on our

#447
adventure, we go on a big caper together.

#448
There's no, there's no time travel in this movie.

#449
It's gonna be a classic like Citizen Kane.

#450
Time travel movies are classic.

#451
This is gonna be... this is... You're driving me... oh, my God.

#452
What?

#453
Mac, I need you to convince Dennis and Deandra not to pull

#454
the plug on Pop-Pop.

#455
Why?

#456
Because I haven't found his treasure yet.

#457
I need more time.

#458
Okay, Frank, here's the deal.

#459
Pop-Pop does have treasure, and I'll let you in on it if you

#460
help me because Charlie is driving me bananas.

#461
He's becoming a threat to this whole operation.

#462
Then you're going to have to take him out of the picture.

#463
Get rid of him.

#464
Yes, sir.

#465
Hey, Charlie, you know, I was thinking, maybe you could play

#466
Hitler.

#467
Of course.

#468
I think you've got the range.

#469
I know I do, Mac.

#470
And I think you're right.

#471
I mean, the leader of the Third Reich defying laws of physics to

#472
join us in our present-day adventure- that makes sense.

#473
It's a better movie.

#474
Good call.

#475
Yeah, I've also decided to direct.

#476
Mm-hmm, let's lock that in.

#477
Yeah, is that...?

#478
What is... what are you doing?

#479
Why are you doing that?

#480
Hmm?

#481
Oh, I am so happy that you have decided to end this.

#482
As soon as we get this little issue resolved, I'll no longer

#483
have a legal obligation to deal with you.

#484
Yeah, it's not really resolved, I think, in the sense that you were hoping for.

#485
No.

#486
When we said we were gonna end this, we didn't mean "kill."

#487
Not end it.

#488
What are you talking about?

#489
We're not going to do it.

#490
We're not going to do it.

#491
We, we don't want a man's death on our hands.

#492
Okay, listen, you don't want the man's blood on your hands,

#493
you don't want to give the order, then, fine, I'll give.

#494
Just grant me power of attorney, and I'll give the order myself.

#495
You would do that?

#496
Oh, absolutely.

#497
Let's do it.

#498
Perfect.

#499
I'm telling you, Frank, Gosling has got to be the one

#500
because he's the only one that can handle my intensity.

#501
God, you're obsessed with Ryan Gosling.

#502
Well, no, I just think... Charlie?

#503
Mac, you know the best thing about time travel movies?

#504
They're full of surprises.

#505
Oh.

#506
Beautiful painting you've got there.

#507
Too bad it's the wrong one.

#508
Huh?

#509
That's not... this is the painting.

#510
You got the wrong painting.

#511
I don't know, they look exactly alike.

#512
Silence, fools.

#513
This has gone on long enough.

#514
This painting clearly causes madness in men.

#515
And it must be destroyed.

#516
Charlie, no, no destroying that painting.

#517
That's a piece of history.

#518
That's the key to Hitler's madness.

#519
Oh, this?

#520
Come on.

#521
I painted this.

#522
What?

#523
I painted it and I loved it, so I saw an opportunity to get

#524
it back, but now I'm realizing that this painting is making us

#525
all crazy... crazy.

#526
Hitler's painting, the key to the Holocaust, Ryan Gosling

#527
playing you?

#528
Ridiculous.

#529
This has to end now, and so I have the final solution.

#530
I'm going to burn this painting and you can't stop me.

#531
We won't.

#532
What?

#533
Dude, if that's not an original Hitler, then who gives a shit?

#534
Yeah.

#535
Oh, yeah, all right.

#536
Did you like my whole, my whole thing I was doing there?

#537
Huh?

#538
I need final verbal confirmation.

#539
Yes, just do it already.

#540
Wow, what an asshole, huh, Doctor?

#541
You are killing a man. You know that, right?

#542
There's a lot of mercy in this decision.

#543
I commend it.

#544
Oh, you commend... well, you know, I mean, technically we

#545
gave the order to him to, to give to you, so...

#546
Yeah, if you feel like commending- if you're in the

#547
mood for commending, you could... Right, if you're gonna throw

#548
some commendations around, you know, just... We'll take 'em.

#549
Okay.

#550
Wow.

#551
Uh-oh, here we go.

#552
What is that?

#553
Uh, he seems to be breathing on his own.

#554
That happens sometimes.

#555
Uh, how long until he's not breathing on his own?

#556
Until he perishes?

#557
Right.

#558
Could be months, weeks, days.

#559
Who knows?

#560
He's a fighter, this one.

#561
Son of a bitch.

#562
Well, if you'll excuse me, we've had an incredible amount

#563
of stray dog attacks all over the city, so our E.R. is slammed.

#564
Hmm.

#565
Well, you know what?

#566
It's okay, let's go.

#567
He had nothing of value to leave us anyway.

#568
Yeah, come on.

#569
Well, actually he did.

#570
Burn, baby, burn.

#571
Dude, I'm still psyched about this movie.

#572
Okay, the ending needs a little bit of work 'cause nobody cares

#573
about an original Charlie Kelly.

#574
Well, it's not an original, you know.

#575
I just painted over one of the old paintings that he gave me,

#576
so... Who?

#577
Pop-Pop.

#578
So Pop-Pop did give you the painting?

#579
Well, it was in the box of junk that he gave me, but it's

#580
just trash.

#581
That's an even worse ending.

#582
It's so complicated.

#583
I can't even follow the goddamn story.

#584
I-I don't care. Dude, Gosling.

#585
Gosling will not play you!

#586
Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

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