Home » Scrubs » S04E06 — My Cake

Scrubs

Season 4, Episode 6 — My Cake

#1
J.D. NARRATING: WORKING AT SACRED HEART,

#2
YOU GROW ACCUSTOMED TO A LOT OF THINGS:

#3
SICKNESS, DEATH,

#4
SICKNESS, DEATH,

#5
TED'S MORNING SELF-AFFIRMATION RITUAL.

#6
PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING -WITH -YOU.

#7
PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING -WITH -YOU.

#8
PEOPLEARE LAUGHING... -WITH -YOU.

#9
PEOPLEARE LAUGHING... -WITH -YOU.

#10
J.D. NARRATING: ONE THING TURK COULDN'T GET ACCUSTOMED TO

#11
WAS HIS WIFE BEING FRIENDS WITH A PSYCHIATRIST.

#12
WAS HIS WIFE BEING FRIENDS WITH A PSYCHIATRIST.

#13
BABE, WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR LUNCH TODAY?

#14
(SOFTLY) PLEASE, HONEY, NOT IN FRONT OF HER.

#15
(SOFTLY) PLEASE, HONEY, NOT IN FRONT OF HER.

#16
TURK, WHY ARE YOU NOT COMFORTABLE AROUND ME?

#17
YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO GET IN PEOPLE'S HEADS.

#18
YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO GET IN PEOPLE'S HEADS.

#19
AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS NEGATIVELY

#20
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT,

#21
BUT THAT MAKES YOU A DEVIL WOMAN.

#22
BUT THAT MAKES YOU A DEVIL WOMAN.

#23
PLEASE. I MEAN, WHO COULD IMAGINE WHAT IT'S LIKE IN YOUR HEAD?

#24
PLEASE. I MEAN, WHO COULD IMAGINE WHAT IT'S LIKE IN YOUR HEAD?

#25
J.D. THINKING: I'LL TAKE THIS ONE.

#26
HEY. WELCOME TO TURK'S HEAD.

#27
HEY. WELCOME TO TURK'S HEAD.

#28
YOU LOOK REALLY HOT.

#29
YOU LOOK REALLY HOT.

#30
WAIT A SECOND. -YOU'RE -NOT A LESBIAN.

#31
(SIGHS) I AM IN HERE.

#32
(SIGHS) I AM IN HERE.

#33
YEAH, ME, TOO.

#34
DAMMIT!

#35
DAMMIT!

#36
MOLLY, YOU'RE A SHRINK.

#37
WHY IS IT MY DAYDREAMS ALWAYS END

#38
WHY IS IT MY DAYDREAMS ALWAYS END

#39
RIGHT BEFORE THE REALLY SEXY PART?

#40
I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE WE SHOULD WORK ON THAT...

#41
TOGETHER.

#42
TOGETHER.

#43
DAMMIT!

#44
DAMMIT!

#45
TURK: DUDE.

#46
RELAX...

#47
AND ENJOY HOT CHOCOLATE LOVE.

#48
AND ENJOY HOT CHOCOLATE LOVE.

#49
J.D. THINKING: SNAP OUT OF IT! ABORT! ABORT!

#50
STOP IT! I DON'T HAVE GAY JUNGLE FEVER!

#51
STOP IT! I DON'T HAVE GAY JUNGLE FEVER!

#52
OK, WE SHOULD GO. YEAH.

#53
HEY, UH, MR. GARCIA'S FAMILY'S HERE.

#54
FANTASTIC.

#55
FANTASTIC.

#56
J.D. NARRATING: TELLING A FAMILY THEIR LOVED ONE HAS DIED

#57
IS NEVER EASY.

#58
THAT'S WHY DOCTORS HAVE A VARIETY OF TECHNIQUES

#59
FOR BREAKING THE NEWS.

#60
THERE'S THE HAND ON SHOULDER.

#61
THERE'S THE HAND ON SHOULDER.

#62
THERE'S HAND ON HAND.

#63
THERE'S HAND ON HAND.

#64
AAAHH!

#65
AND, OF COURSE, THE ALWAYS POPULAR RESIDENT KABUKI THEATRE.

#66
AND, OF COURSE, THE ALWAYS POPULAR RESIDENT KABUKI THEATRE.

#67
OHH! YEEKK!

#68
OHH! YEEKK!

#69
HYUUKK!

#70
(SOFTLY) I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.

#71
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

#72
J.D. NARRATING:AS -FOR MY -FAMILY,

#73
J.D. NARRATING:AS -FOR MY -FAMILY,

#74
WE HAD OUR OWN WAY OF BREAKING THE NEWS.

#75
HEY, LITTLE BROTHER.

#76
WE DID IT WITH CAKE.

#77
WE DID IT WITH CAKE.

#78
WHAT HAPPENED?

#79
WHAT, A GUY CAN'T TAKE 3 DAYS OFF WORK,

#80
TRAVEL 800 MILES ON A BUS WITH A DOUBLE- LAYER FUDGE CAKE

#81
TRAVEL 800 MILES ON A BUS WITH A DOUBLE- LAYER FUDGE CAKE

#82
-JUST TO SAY, -"HEY, HOW ARE THINGS"?

#83
DAN.

#84
DAN.

#85
DAD DIED.

#86
THERE'S ICE CREAM IN THE FRIDGE.

#87
# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN, NO, I KNOW... #

#88
# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN, NO, I KNOW... #

#89
# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

#90
HEY.

#91
HEY. YOU GUYS ARE BACK.

#92
SORRY I HAD TO BLOW OUT OF THERE AFTER THE FUNERAL,

#93
SORRY I HAD TO BLOW OUT OF THERE AFTER THE FUNERAL,

#94
BUT HOW WAS THE REST OF THE WEEK?

#95
IT WAS ALL RIGHT. WE SPENT MOST OF THE TIME

#96
IT WAS ALL RIGHT. WE SPENT MOST OF THE TIME

#97
DEALING WITH THE HEADSTONE PROBLEM.

#98
SEE, SINCE DAD WAS AN OFFICE SUPPLIES SALESMAN,

#99
HE WANTED IT TO BE SHAPED LIKE A PENCIL.

#100
HE WANTED IT TO BE SHAPED LIKE A PENCIL.

#101
SO?

#102
SO IT LOOKED LIKE A GIANT MARBLE PENIS,

#103
SO IT LOOKED LIKE A GIANT MARBLE PENIS,

#104
WHICH, I MAINTAIN, DAD WOULD'VE LIKED EVEN MORE.

#105
HOW YOU DOIN', BUDDY?

#106
HOW YOU DOIN', BUDDY?

#107
I DON'T KNOW.

#108
IT HASN'T REALLY HIT ME YET.

#109
IT WILL EVENTUALLY, BUT DON'T WORRY.

#110
WHEN IT DOES, BIG BRO WILL BE THERE.

#111
(CHORTLES) HA HA! HE'S -

#112
WHAT? WHAT IS IT?

#113
WHAT? WHAT IS IT?

#114
DAN, I LOVE YOU, BUT BEING THERE

#115
FOR PEOPLE ISN'T REALLY YOUR THING.

#116
NO, THAT WAS THE OLD DAN.

#117
NO, THAT WAS THE OLD DAN.

#118
LOOK AT ME. THIS IS THE NEW DAN.

#119
I'M TOTALLY HERE FOR YOU.

#120
I'M TOTALLY HERE FOR YOU.

#121
DAN, YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR, LIKE, 9 HOURS.

#122
DAN, YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR, LIKE, 9 HOURS.

#123
ARE YOU OK?

#124
I'D FEEL A LOT BETTER IF YOU COULD GIVE

#125
I'D FEEL A LOT BETTER IF YOU COULD GIVE

#126
THAT OL' "H" KNOB THERE A LITTLE TWIST.

#127
BODY TEMP'S A BIT LOW.

#128
BODY TEMP'S A BIT LOW.

#129
(TURNS ON WATER)

#130
(SIGHS)

#131
NOW I CAN FEEL MY TOOTSIES.

#132
NOW I CAN FEEL MY TOOTSIES.

#133
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE NEW CONVERTIBLE, TED?

#134
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE NEW CONVERTIBLE, TED?

#135
WHY -DON'T I -HAVE ONE OF THESE?

#136
WHY -DON'T I -HAVE ONE OF THESE?

#137
WELL, HOWDY, DR. KELSO.

#138
AIN'T SHE A BEAUT? I RENTED 'ER

#139
AIN'T SHE A BEAUT? I RENTED 'ER

#140
SO'S I COULD REPAIR THE AIR CONDITIONING UNIT.

#141
LOOKS EXPENSIVE. WHO AUTHORIZED THIS?

#142
LOOKS EXPENSIVE. WHO AUTHORIZED THIS?

#143
WHY, YOU DID, SIR. MUST'VE BEEN TUESDAY LAST.

#144
WHY, YOU DID, SIR. MUST'VE BEEN TUESDAY LAST.

#145
STOP TALKIN' LIKE A FARMER.

#146
I DID NO SUCH THING!

#147
NOW, I'M NOT SURE HOW ONE WOULD GO ABOUT

#148
MAKING A JANITOR'S LIFE EVEN MORE MISERABLE,

#149
MAKING A JANITOR'S LIFE EVEN MORE MISERABLE,

#150
BUT WHAT SAY WE START BY DOCKING YOUR PAY (TED GASPS)

#151
FOR THE COST OF THIS MONSTROSITY?

#152
FOR THE COST OF THIS MONSTROSITY?

#153
OH, GOD!

#154
OH, GOD!

#155
IT WON'T SMOOTH DOWN!

#156
(MUTTERING) IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO, CHUCK.

#157
(MUTTERING) IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO, CHUCK.

#158
OH. HE'S HAVINGONE OF HIS -LOVE CONNECTION -DREAMS.

#159
OH. HE'S HAVINGONE OF HIS -LOVE CONNECTION -DREAMS.

#160
YOU SURE? MM-HMM.

#161
I'D LOVE TO GO OUT WITH HER AGAIN IF YOU'LL PAY FOR IT.

#162
I'D LOVE TO GO OUT WITH HER AGAIN IF YOU'LL PAY FOR IT.

#163
LOVEY.

#164
HUH? WHAT?

#165
WE'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.

#166
WE'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.

#167
WHY? WHAT DID I MISS?

#168
WHOO! EEE!

#169
BYE, CARLA. SORRY I DIDN'T GET TO MEET YOUR HUSBAND.

#170
OH, I KNOW. MR. WOOLERY, WHAT'VE YOU BEEN DOING

#171
OH, I KNOW. MR. WOOLERY, WHAT'VE YOU BEEN DOING

#172
SINCE -THE LOVE CONNECTION -WAS CANCELLED?

#173
LOVE CONNECTION WAS NEVER CANCELLED.

#174
LOVE CONNECTION WAS NEVER CANCELLED.

#175
IT'S JUST NOT ON TV ANYMORE.

#176
I STILL DO THE OCCASIONAL EPISODE

#177
I STILL DO THE OCCASIONAL EPISODE

#178
IN MY BASEMENT WITH SINGLES FROM THE NEIGHBOURHOOD.

#179
I'M NOT CRAZY.

#180
I'M NOT CRAZY.

#181
NO. HA HA HA!

#182
AW, STUPID NAP!

#183
AW, STUPID NAP!

#184
I'VE BEEN A LITTLE SLEEPY THESE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS.

#185
AND I'VE DROPPED A FEW POUNDS.

#186
AND I'VE DROPPED A FEW POUNDS.

#187
I DON'T KNOW. I THINK I GOT THE FLU, BABY.

#188
NO! YEAH.

#189
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO GET SICK.

#190
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO GET SICK.

#191
YOU'RE MY SUPERMAN.

#192
I MEAN... IF YOU'RE IN BED,

#193
I MEAN... IF YOU'RE IN BED,

#194
WHO'S GONNA GIVE ME MY BACK RUBS OR...

#195
UNSCREW THE PEANUT BUTTER JAR, OR...

#196
UNSCREW THE PEANUT BUTTER JAR, OR...

#197
WALK AROUND ALL DAY IN MY NEW HIGH HEELS

#198
JUST TO STRETCH THEM OUT?

#199
JUST TO STRETCH THEM OUT?

#200
SHE'S KIDDING. I'VE NEVER DONE THAT.

#201
(SOFTLY) NOT IN FRONT OF THE DEVIL WOMAN.

#202
(SOFTLY) NOT IN FRONT OF THE DEVIL WOMAN.

#203
I GOT A NEW PAIR OF PUMPS.

#204
NO.

#205
NO.

#206
J.D. NARRATING: WHENEVER SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU DIES,

#207
IT'S IMPORTANT TO KEEP YOUR HEAD ABOVE WATER.

#208
IT'S IMPORTANT TO KEEP YOUR HEAD ABOVE WATER.

#209
(LOUD BURBLING) DAN!

#210
I'M UP!

#211
(SPITTING AND COUGHING)

#212
YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T EXACTLY EASY

#213
YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T EXACTLY EASY

#214
SHOWERING WITH YOU IN THERE.

#215
WELL, IT WASN'T EXACTLY EASY FOR ME, EITHER.

#216
WELL, IT WASN'T EXACTLY EASY FOR ME, EITHER.

#217
YOU HAVE DAD'S BUTT.

#218
YOU THINK YOU'LL GET OUT OF THE TUB TODAY?

#219
YEAH, TODAY DOESN'T LOOK GOOD. BY THE WAY,

#220
YEAH, TODAY DOESN'T LOOK GOOD. BY THE WAY,

#221
COULD YOU GET ME ANOTHER BEER?

#222
NOW, LOOK, I PUT A 6-PACK

#223
FOR YOU IN THE TOILET.

#224
FOR YOU IN THE TOILET.

#225
OOH!

#226
I GOTTA GO TO WORK.

#227
OK, LITTLE BROTHER.

#228
OK, LITTLE BROTHER.

#229
CALL ME IF YOU NEED...ANYTHING.

#230
I MEAN, ANYTHING FROM THIS PARTICULAR AREA. OOH.

#231
I MEAN, ANYTHING FROM THIS PARTICULAR AREA. OOH.

#232
THAT'LL HELP.

#233
SUCCESS.

#234
AHH.

#235
AHH.

#236
LOOK, MR. CANNON, LET'S DROP THE FORGETFUL ACT!

#237
LOOK, MR. CANNON, LET'S DROP THE FORGETFUL ACT!

#238
NOW, IF YOU DON'T SIGN THESE PAPERS,

#239
THIS HOSPITAL WILL DISCHARGE YOU,

#240
AND THEN WE'LL SEE WHAT YOU DO AND DO NOT REMEMBER!

#241
AND THEN WE'LL SEE WHAT YOU DO AND DO NOT REMEMBER!

#242
THE MAN HAS ALZHEIMER'S, BOZO.

#243
THE MAN HAS ALZHEIMER'S, BOZO.

#244
IT STILL WON'T SMOOTH DOWN!

#245
IT STILL WON'T SMOOTH DOWN!

#246
HE'S NOT A DAY OVER 55, AND HE HAS ALZHEIMER'S.

#247
REALLY MAKES YOU THINK, DOESN'T IT?

#248
REALLY MAKES YOU THINK, DOESN'T IT?

#249
YOU'RE OVER 55, AREN'T YOU, SIR?

#250
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

#251
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

#252
NOTHIN'.

#253
J.D. NARRATING: EVEN THOUGH I DEAL WITH DEATH

#254
J.D. NARRATING: EVEN THOUGH I DEAL WITH DEATH

#255
EVERY TIME I WALK INTO THIS PLACE,

#256
I'D NEVER DEALT WITH IT FROM THIS SIDE BEFORE.

#257
IT'S FULL OF SURPRISES, WHETHER IT'S A SMALL GESTURE FROM A CO-WORKER...

#258
IT'S FULL OF SURPRISES, WHETHER IT'S A SMALL GESTURE FROM A CO-WORKER...

#259
OR A BIG GESTURE FROM SOMEONE YOU'VE NEVER EVEN MET BEFORE.

#260
OR A BIG GESTURE FROM SOMEONE YOU'VE NEVER EVEN MET BEFORE.

#261
WALK TALL, KIDDO.

#262
OF COURSE, SOMETIMES IT'S A LITTLE AWKWARD,

#263
OF COURSE, SOMETIMES IT'S A LITTLE AWKWARD,

#264
EVEN WITH AN OLD FRIEND.

#265
(SADLY) HEY.

#266
(SADLY) HEY.

#267
HEY.

#268
I JUST WANTED TO - YEAH.

#269
I JUST WANTED TO - YEAH.

#270
LOOK - THANKS.

#271
OK. OK.

#272
SAY, BARBIE, FOR A SECOND THERE,

#273
SAY, BARBIE, FOR A SECOND THERE,

#274
I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING A LITTLE COLD,

#275
BUT THEN YOU REALLY SAVED IT WITH THE...

#276
(FAKES A SOB) "'K."

#277
(FAKES A SOB) "'K."

#278
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, HIDE FROM HIM ALL DAY AND THEN CALL HIM "GINGER"?

#279
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, HIDE FROM HIM ALL DAY AND THEN CALL HIM "GINGER"?

#280
NO. IT'S MONDAY, WHICH, OF COURSE, MEANS IT'S ETHNIC DAY,

#281
SO I'LL BE GOING WITH ROSALITA. AND BESIDES, I HAVE A PLAN.

#282
SO I'LL BE GOING WITH ROSALITA. AND BESIDES, I HAVE A PLAN.

#283
WHICH IS?

#284
YEAH, WELL, UNFORTUNATELY,

#285
YEAH, WELL, UNFORTUNATELY,

#286
THE FIRST PART OF THE PLAN IS NOT SHARED

#287
WITH PEOPLE WHO ANNOY ME. WANT TO HEAR THE SECOND PART?

#288
WITH PEOPLE WHO ANNOY ME. WANT TO HEAR THE SECOND PART?

#289
SURE.

#290
NO, I CAN'T. MY HANDS ARE TIED BY THE FIRST PART.

#291
NO, I CAN'T. MY HANDS ARE TIED BY THE FIRST PART.

#292
(MOANS)

#293
BABY, LOOK AT YOU.

#294
PLEASE GO SEE OUR DOCTOR.

#295
PLEASE GO SEE OUR DOCTOR.

#296
I HATE DR. KIM.

#297
HE ALWAYS MAKES ME TAKE MY PANTS OFF,

#298
HE ALWAYS MAKES ME TAKE MY PANTS OFF,

#299
EVEN THAT TIME I WENT IN FOR PINK EYE.

#300
I GOTTA PEE.

#301
I GOTTA PEE.

#302
DON'T YOU THINK IT'S WEIRD

#303
YOU'VE ALREADY GONE 7 TIMES TODAY?

#304
YOU'VE ALREADY GONE 7 TIMES TODAY?

#305
I THINK IT'S WEIRD YOU'RE COUNTING.

#306
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET A DOCTOR TO GO SEE A DOCTOR.

#307
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET A DOCTOR TO GO SEE A DOCTOR.

#308
I'M ON IT.

#309
EXCUSE ME.

#310
DID SOMEBODY SAY THEY'RE LOOKIN'

#311
DID SOMEBODY SAY THEY'RE LOOKIN'

#312
FOR THE BADDEST DETECTIVE IN TOWN?!

#313
AWESOME AFRO.

#314
AWESOME AFRO.

#315
I'M SORRY TO BARGE IN ON YOU,

#316
BUT I'M A LITTLE RUSTY ON THE MEDICINE SIDE,

#317
BUT I'M A LITTLE RUSTY ON THE MEDICINE SIDE,

#318
AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD HELP ME.

#319
SEE, I HAVE THIS PATIENT -

#320
CONSTANTLY TIRED, ALWAYS PEEING, LOSING WEIGHT.

#321
CONSTANTLY TIRED, ALWAYS PEEING, LOSING WEIGHT.

#322
OH, YOU SHOULD HAVE HIM CHECKED OUT. HE MIGHT HAVE DIABETES.

#323
OH, YOU SHOULD HAVE HIM CHECKED OUT. HE MIGHT HAVE DIABETES.

#324
OHHH.

#325
THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT IT'S TYPE 2 DIABETES.

#326
IT'S STILL SERIOUS, BUT IT'S TOTALLY MANAGEABLE.

#327
IT'S STILL SERIOUS, BUT IT'S TOTALLY MANAGEABLE.

#328
DEVIL WOMAN GAVE ME DIABETES.

#329
DEVIL WOMAN GAVE ME DIABETES.

#330
(INHALES)

#331
HOW YOU HOLDIN' UP, BAMBI?

#332
I'M OK.

#333
YOU HAVE MY CHARTS?

#334
YOU HAVE MY CHARTS?

#335
OH, DIDN'T ANYONE TELL YOU?

#336
THEY SWITCHED YOUR SHIFT. YOU'RE OFF TODAY.

#337
THEY SWITCHED YOUR SHIFT. YOU'RE OFF TODAY.

#338
OK.

#339
HE BOUGHT IT.

#340
GREAT. GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT.

#341
GREAT. GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT.

#342
I TOOK ALL HIS PATIENTS,

#343
AND I THREATENED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HIS RESIDENTS

#344
AND I THREATENED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HIS RESIDENTS

#345
UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH NOT TO PAGE HIM.

#346
ONE LAST THING LEFT TO DO.

#347
ONE LAST THING LEFT TO DO.

#348
WHAT IS THIS?

#349
IT'S YOUR BASIC HOMEMADE ANTI-DROWNING DEVICE

#350
IT'S YOUR BASIC HOMEMADE ANTI-DROWNING DEVICE

#351
TO BE WORN TILL YOUR BROTHER RETURNS.

#352
I LIKE IT.

#353
OH, BOY.

#354
TRYIN' TO CUT BACK.

#355
TRYIN' TO CUT BACK.

#356
WHERE THE HELL IS MY CAR?

#357
I PARKED IT RIGHT THERE. I KNOW WHERE I PARKED IT.

#358
I PARKED IT RIGHT THERE. I KNOW WHERE I PARKED IT.

#359
FOR GOD'S SAKE, AM I LOSIN' MY MIND?

#360
FOR GOD'S SAKE, AM I LOSIN' MY MIND?

#361
TOMMY! TAKE ME UP! HE'S COMIN' BACK!

#362
HEY, YOU WANT A BEER?

#363
HEY, YOU WANT A BEER?

#364
ABSOTIVELY.

#365
BATH WATER.

#366
BACKWASH.

#367
BACKWASH.

#368
MMM.

#369
THERE YOU GO.

#370
OH, THANK YOU.

#371
OH, THANK YOU.

#372
(SIGHS)

#373
(SIGHS)

#374
HEY, DAN, IF DAD WERE HERE RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO HIM?

#375
(BELCHES)

#376
(BELCHES)

#377
I THINK HE'D BE GLAD TO HEAR THAT.

#378
J.D. NARRATING: MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE I FINALLY SLOWED DOWN.

#379
MAYBE IT WAS REMEMBERING DAD'S PASSION FOR BODILY FUNCTIONS.

#380
MAYBE IT WAS REMEMBERING DAD'S PASSION FOR BODILY FUNCTIONS.

#381
I DON'T KNOW. BUT AT THAT MOMENT,

#382
I DON'T KNOW. BUT AT THAT MOMENT,

#383
IT ALL HIT ME.

#384
UNFORTUNATELY, I'M NOT SURE DAN'S THE GUY TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH.

#385
UNFORTUNATELY, I'M NOT SURE DAN'S THE GUY TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH.

#386
SLOW DOWN THERE, DUCK.

#387
SOME DUCKS CAN'T HOLD THEIR WATER. (CHUCKLES)

#388
SOME DUCKS CAN'T HOLD THEIR WATER. (CHUCKLES)

#389
(WEEPING)

#390
IT'S OK. (SNIFFLES) I KNOW.

#391
IT'S OK. (SNIFFLES) I KNOW.

#392
J.D. NARRATING: THERE'S A LOT IN LIFE THAT CAN LET YOU DOWN.

#393
J.D. NARRATING: THERE'S A LOT IN LIFE THAT CAN LET YOU DOWN.

#394
IT CAN BE YOUR MIND...

#395
IT CAN BE YOUR MIND...

#396
OR YOUR BODY.

#397
CALL ME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS.

#398
CALL ME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS.

#399
I'M HERE FOR MY EAR INFECTION.

#400
GO IN AND TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF.

#401
SO, WHAT'D HE SAY?

#402
OH, IT'S THE FLU, LIKE I SAID.

#403
OH, IT'S THE FLU, LIKE I SAID.

#404
J.D. NARRATING: LUCKILY FOR ME, I HAD SOMEONE TO LEAN ON.

#405
HEY, DR. COX, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

#406
HEY, DR. COX, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

#407
UH, NOPE. REALLY?

#408
NOT EVEN, LIKE, JUST 2 SECONDS TO TALK TO ME?

#409
NOT EVEN, LIKE, JUST 2 SECONDS TO TALK TO ME?

#410
(PAGER BEEPS)

#411
LOOK, NEWBIE - OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

#412
I'M A LITTLE SWAMPED HERE. THANK YOU.

#413
I'M A LITTLE SWAMPED HERE. THANK YOU.

#414
YOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS? I ACTUALLY THOUGHT

#415
YOU WERE GONNA COME THROUGH FOR ME THIS TIME.

#416
YOU WERE GONNA COME THROUGH FOR ME THIS TIME.

#417
(BEEPING)

#418
IN A MINUTE. HEY, NEWBIE,

#419
JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY NOTICE,

#420
JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY NOTICE,

#421
-I HAVE -BEEN COVERING ALL YOUR PATIENTS,

#422
ANSWERING ALL YOUR PAGES, AND PRETTY MUCH DOING EVERYTHING

#423
ANSWERING ALL YOUR PAGES, AND PRETTY MUCH DOING EVERYTHING

#424
SHY OF PICKING UP YOUR SUNDRESS FROM THE DRY CLEANERS.

#425
SHY OF PICKING UP YOUR SUNDRESS FROM THE DRY CLEANERS.

#426
WELL, I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO DO ANY OF THAT, DID I?

#427
OUTSTANDING! YOU'RE WALKIN' AWAY

#428
OUTSTANDING! YOU'RE WALKIN' AWAY

#429
LIKE A PISSY LITTLE INGRATE. I MEAN, BRAVO!

#430
(CHUCKLING) BRAVO, HUH?

#431
(CHUCKLING) BRAVO, HUH?

#432
(WHISTLING)

#433
(WHISTLING)

#434
WHAT ARE WE CLAPPIN' FOR?

#435
HIS DAD JUST DIED.

#436
HIS DAD JUST DIED.

#437
(SOFTLY) DAMMIT.

#438
(SNICKERS)

#439
(SNICKERS)

#440
HAH! PFFT!

#441
WHY ARE YOU STILL ANTAGONIZING HIM?

#442
WHY ARE YOU STILL ANTAGONIZING HIM?

#443
I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T STOP.

#444
I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T STOP.

#445
I'M WARNING YOU. YOU'D BETTER COME THROUGH FOR HIM.

#446
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, ANYWAY?

#447
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, ANYWAY?

#448
BE MORE SENSITIVE. TRY GIVING HIM A HUG.

#449
BARBIE, YOU'VE MET ME BEFORE. YES?

#450
BARBIE, YOU'VE MET ME BEFORE. YES?

#451
NOW, AT MOST, I CAN MUSTER ONE HUG A YEAR.

#452
NOW, AT MOST, I CAN MUSTER ONE HUG A YEAR.

#453
AND 9 MONTHS AGO, I HUGGED MY SON,

#454
SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO IT.

#455
SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO IT.

#456
UM, YOU SAW US BEFORE? IT'S STILL AWKWARD FROM THE BREAKUP.

#457
UM, YOU SAW US BEFORE? IT'S STILL AWKWARD FROM THE BREAKUP.

#458
H-HOLD THE PHONE. ARE YOU SUGGESTING

#459
THAT IF -I -SLEEP WITH HIM

#460
THAT IF -I -SLEEP WITH HIM

#461
THAT I WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH PROBLEMS LIKE THIS?

#462
BECAUSE I'M SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING TAKING THAT HIT.

#463
BECAUSE I'M SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING TAKING THAT HIT.

#464
I MEAN, HONESTLY, WHAT IS HE LIKE IN POST-GAME?

#465
IS THERE SPOONING? BECAUSE I DON'T SPOON. I'M NOT A SPOONER.

#466
IS THERE SPOONING? BECAUSE I DON'T SPOON. I'M NOT A SPOONER.

#467
-WELL, IT TOOK -A WHOLE TUBE OF GEL,

#468
-WELL, IT TOOK -A WHOLE TUBE OF GEL,

#469
BUT I FINALLY GOT MY HAIR DOWN.

#470
NO ONE MALE OR FEMALE EVER CARED, TED.

#471
NO ONE MALE OR FEMALE EVER CARED, TED.

#472
WHERE THE HELL ARE MY READING GLASSES?

#473
WHERE THE HELL ARE MY READING GLASSES?

#474
I'LL TELL YOU, THE LAST FEW DAYS,

#475
I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL THE OLD NOODLE

#476
I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL THE OLD NOODLE

#477
IS REALLY LETTING ME DOWN.

#478
(GASPS)

#479
KELSO: WELL, I'M SURE I'M JUST MAKING

#480
KELSO: WELL, I'M SURE I'M JUST MAKING

#481
MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS.

#482
DON'T YOU THINK, TED?

#483
DON'T YOU THINK, TED?

#484
TED?!

#485
HEY, WONDERBRA.

#486
HEY, WONDERBRA.

#487
DO YOU, UH - DO YOU HAVE A SECOND?

#488
DO YOU, UH - DO YOU HAVE A SECOND?

#489
FOR WHAT?

#490
I'M GIVING YOU A HUG.

#491
I'M GIVING YOU A HUG.

#492
TED: AAAAH!

#493
OH. I WAS WONDERIN' WHAT THAT CRANE WAS FOR.

#494
OH. I WAS WONDERIN' WHAT THAT CRANE WAS FOR.

#495
SO, NOW, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE

#496
SO, NOW, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE

#497
THIS WHOLE HUG THING TO GO DOWN?

#498
DO YOU WANT TO REMAIN SEATED? WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAND? I, OF COURSE,

#499
DO YOU WANT TO REMAIN SEATED? WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAND? I, OF COURSE,

#500
-DON'T CARE AS LONG -AS IT'S UNDER 3 SECONDS

#501
AND I DON'T FEEL YOUR BREATH ON MY NECK.

#502
SO NOW YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ME

#503
SO NOW YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ME

#504
BECAUSE I NEED A LITTLE HELP GETTING THROUGH THIS.

#505
-NO, I'M - -I'M REALLY TRYING.

#506
-NO, I'M - -I'M REALLY TRYING.

#507
YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM SICK OF GETTING DUMPED ON,

#508
AND I AM SICK -OF YOU.

#509
AND I AM SICK -OF YOU.

#510
(CHUCKLES) OH, -NEWBIE, DON'T SHOVE ME.

#511
(CHUCKLES) OH, -NEWBIE, DON'T SHOVE ME.

#512
OH, REALLY? WHY NOT?

#513
BECAUSE WHENEVER ANYBODY SHOVES ME

#514
BECAUSE WHENEVER ANYBODY SHOVES ME

#515
MORE THAN TWICE, MY MIND GOES BLANK

#516
AND ALL I SEE IS THIS WHITE-HOT FLASH OF FURY.

#517
AND ALL I SEE IS THIS WHITE-HOT FLASH OF FURY.

#518
WHEN SOMEONE SHOVES YOU LIKE THIS?

#519
SO? HOW'D IT GO?

#520
PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE.

#521
PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE.

#522
YOU WANT ME TO KICK HIS ASS?

#523
YOU WANT ME TO KICK HIS ASS?

#524
NO NEED. I ALREADY GOT HIM BACK AND THEN SOME.

#525
NO NEED. I ALREADY GOT HIM BACK AND THEN SOME.

#526
ON THE WINDOW, HUH?

#527
UH, YEAH! OOH.

#528
UH, YEAH! OOH.

#529
HERE WE GO.

#530
OH, GOD. WHO DIED?

#531
NO. IT'S FOR TURK.

#532
MM-WAH! I'LL GET YOU SOME MILK?

#533
YEAH!

#534
YEAH!

#535
WHAT'S THE OCCASION?

#536
(SOFTLY) I HAVE TYPE 2 DIABETES.

#537
REALLY?

#538
REALLY?

#539
YEAH.

#540
THAT SUCKS.

#541
-CALA IS -AWARE IF YOU EAT THAT,

#542
-CALA IS -AWARE IF YOU EAT THAT,

#543
YOUR FOOT WILL FALL OFF. RIGHT?

#544
OH, I HAVEN'T TOLD HER YET.

#545
OH, I HAVEN'T TOLD HER YET.

#546
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE SHE KNOWS BECAUSE RIGHT NOW

#547
SHE'S TRYING TO GET ME TO 'FESS UP

#548
SHE'S TRYING TO GET ME TO 'FESS UP

#549
BY TEMPTING HER CHOCO LATELY GOODNESS WITH CHOCOLATELY GOODNESS.

#550
BABE, DO YOU WANT SOME HOT FUDGE SUGAR SAUCE?

#551
BABE, DO YOU WANT SOME HOT FUDGE SUGAR SAUCE?

#552
OH, HELL, YEAH!

#553
WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD HER?

#554
WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD HER?

#555
I'M NOT SURE.

#556
CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING WEIRD, THOUGH?

#557
CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING WEIRD, THOUGH?

#558
YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING.

#559
I FEEL LIKE YOUR DAD DYING HAS STOLEN MY DIABETES' THUNDER.

#560
I FEEL LIKE YOUR DAD DYING HAS STOLEN MY DIABETES' THUNDER.

#561
OH, MY GOD! JUST THIS SECOND I WAS THINKING

#562
YOUR DIABETES IS GONNA GET IN THE WAY OF MY DAD DYING.

#563
YOUR DIABETES IS GONNA GET IN THE WAY OF MY DAD DYING.

#564
-HA HA! -ISN'T THAT FUNNY?

#565
-HA HA! -ISN'T THAT FUNNY?

#566
HA HA HA! COOL!

#567
DAN: I SMELL CAKE.

#568
IF UNCLE BERTIE DIED,

#569
SOMEONE'S GONNA HAVE TO GO ON A BEER RUN.

#570
SOMEONE'S GONNA HAVE TO GO ON A BEER RUN.

#571
AAH!

#572
THANKS AGAIN FOR INVITING ME TO YOUR HOUSE FOR DINNER.

#573
THANKS AGAIN FOR INVITING ME TO YOUR HOUSE FOR DINNER.

#574
I DID?

#575
YES, SIR, YOU DID.

#576
AWW!

#577
AWW!

#578
HEY, WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER?

#579
HEY, WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER?

#580
J.D.!

#581
HE'S NOT HERE.

#582
LOOK, DAN -

#583
IT'S CAPTAIN BUBBLEBEARD.

#584
IT'S CAPTAIN BUBBLEBEARD.

#585
AVAST, MATEY! SHUT YOUR SCUPPER

#586
AND BURY YOUR STEEL!

#587
AND BURY YOUR STEEL!

#588
WE SHOULD BE SEEN - AAH!

#589
WE SHOULD BE SEEN - AAH!

#590
NOW YOU'RE DAN AGAIN.

#591
LET'S BREAK DOWN THE KID'S SUPPORT SYSTEM, SHALL WE?

#592
HE'S GOT ME, AN EMOTIONALLY CRIPPLED NARCISSIST,

#593
HE'S GOT ME, AN EMOTIONALLY CRIPPLED NARCISSIST,

#594
AND HE'S GOT YOU, CRIPPLED NARCISSIST

#595
AND HE'S GOT YOU, CRIPPLED NARCISSIST

#596
WHO'S SOAKING IN A TUB OF WHAT BY NOW

#597
WHO'S SOAKING IN A TUB OF WHAT BY NOW

#598
HAS TO BE MOSTLY YOUR OWN URINE.

#599
I BELIEVE THE RATIO HAS SHIFTED THAT WAY, YES.

#600
I BELIEVE THE RATIO HAS SHIFTED THAT WAY, YES.

#601
AND I HAVE GOT TO BELIEVE

#602
THAT THE TWO OF US TOGETHER,

#603
THAT THE TWO OF US TOGETHER,

#604
TOGETHER, DAN,

#605
WE CAN MAKE IT AT LEAST HALFWAY

#606
WE CAN MAKE IT AT LEAST HALFWAY

#607
TO ONE LEGITIMATE ADULT.

#608
YOU'RE RIGHT, COXIE.

#609
YOU'RE RIGHT, COXIE.

#610
DAMN IT, COXSMITH, CRY-BABY TIME IS OVER.

#611
THE KID NEEDS US AND HE NEEDS US NOW, RIGHT?

#612
TOWEL. THANK YOU. LET'S ROCK 'N' ROLL.

#613
AAH!

#614
AAH!

#615
I MUST HAVE LOST SOME MUSCLE MASS IN MY LEGS.

#616
I MUST HAVE LOST SOME MUSCLE MASS IN MY LEGS.

#617
FANTASTIC.

#618
I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU

#619
I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU

#620
FOR THAT WHOLE "DEVIL WOMAN" THING.

#621
I PROMISE YOU I WILL NEVER CALL YOU THAT AGAIN.

#622
I PROMISE YOU I WILL NEVER CALL YOU THAT AGAIN.

#623
IT'S OK. I MEAN, I CAN UNDERSTAND

#624
WHY YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND ME.

#625
WHY YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND ME.

#626
I SOMETIMES DO SEE EVERYONE AS A PATIENT.

#627
YOU KNOW, SURGEONS DO THAT, TOO.

#628
YOU KNOW, SURGEONS DO THAT, TOO.

#629
COME ON, LET'S SEE WHO'S BETTER AT IT.

#630
COME ON, LET'S SEE WHO'S BETTER AT IT.

#631
HIP REPLACEMENT.

#632
ALCOHOLIC. THAT WAS EASY. YEAH.

#633
ALCOHOLIC. THAT WAS EASY. YEAH.

#634
-QUADRUPLE BYPASS, -2 ON THE HOME TEAM.

#635
-QUADRUPLE BYPASS, -2 ON THE HOME TEAM.

#636
CONSTANTLY TRYING TO VALIDATE YOURSELF

#637
SO SHE'LL SLEEP WITH ANYONE.

#638
SO SHE'LL SLEEP WITH ANYONE.

#639
HEY, TURK.

#640
WHAT'S UP, CHARICE? ALL RIGHT?

#641
WHAT'S UP, CHARICE? ALL RIGHT?

#642
UH, THAT'S BEFORE I MET CARLA.

#643
UH, THAT'S BEFORE I MET CARLA.

#644
SO WHAT ABOUT ME?

#645
SO WHAT ABOUT ME?

#646
COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

#647
WELL, CARLA CALLS YOU HER SUPERMAN, AND YOU LOVE THAT.

#648
BUT THE DIABETES MAKES YOU FEEL VULNERABLE,

#649
BUT THE DIABETES MAKES YOU FEEL VULNERABLE,

#650
AND YOU'RE AFRAID IF YOU'RE OPEN TO HER ABOUT IT,

#651
AND YOU'RE AFRAID IF YOU'RE OPEN TO HER ABOUT IT,

#652
THEN YOU WON'T BE HER SUPERMAN ANYMORE.

#653
YEAH.

#654
YEAH.

#655
DEVIL WOMAN.

#656
SORRY.

#657
(COX WHISTLES)

#658
(COX WHISTLES)

#659
OH, MY GOD. I'M SORRY ABOUT THE "WASH ME" THING!

#660
PUT THAT ON.

#661
PUT THAT ON.

#662
DAN? YOU WERE OUT WITH HIM?

#663
I THOUGHT YOU DISSOLVED.

#664
I THOUGHT YOU DISSOLVED.

#665
WE DECIDED THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO DO THIS

#666
WITHOUT FEELING INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

#667
WITHOUT FEELING INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

#668
DRINK.

#669
NOW TALK.

#670
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK ABOUT?

#671
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK ABOUT?

#672
THE PROS AND CONS OF BLITZING A WEAK SIDE CORNER

#673
WHEN YOU'RE IN THIRD AND LONG SITUATIONS?

#674
WHEN YOU'RE IN THIRD AND LONG SITUATIONS?

#675
(THINKING) THANK YOU, -FOOTBALL FOR DUMMIES.

#676
-I GOTTA TELL YOU, LITTLE BROTHER.

#677
YOU WERE ALWAYS THE APPLE OF DAD'S EYE.

#678
YOU WERE ALWAYS THE APPLE OF DAD'S EYE.

#679
YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE WORST THING ABOUT COLLEGE FOOTBALL.

#680
THE MALE CHEERLEADERS - OH, GOD, THAT'S A CHICK.

#681
THE MALE CHEERLEADERS - OH, GOD, THAT'S A CHICK.

#682
YOU KNOW, WHEN MY FATHER DIED,

#683
YOU KNOW, WHEN MY FATHER DIED,

#684
ALL I COULD FOCUS ON WAS HOW MUCH HE WAS NEVER THERE,

#685
BUT YOU, YOU'RE LUCKY. YOU GOT SOME POSITIVE STUFF YOU CAN DWELL ON.

#686
BUT YOU, YOU'RE LUCKY. YOU GOT SOME POSITIVE STUFF YOU CAN DWELL ON.

#687
THROW THE BALL, YOU JACKASS.

#688
THROW THE BALL, YOU JACKASS.

#689
HE IS A JACKASS.

#690
I MEAN, I MET YOUR FATHER.

#691
I MEAN, I MET YOUR FATHER.

#692
I REMEMBER LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY.

#693
AFTER ABOUT 2 SECONDS, I COULD TELL HOW PROUD HE WAS OF YOU.

#694
AFTER ABOUT 2 SECONDS, I COULD TELL HOW PROUD HE WAS OF YOU.

#695
(THINKING) AND THEN I HEARD SOMETHING

#696
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HEAR.

#697
TRUTH BE TOLD THERE, NEWBIE...

#698
I'M PROUD OF YOU.

#699
I'M PROUD OF YOU.

#700
# SAY THAT YOU'RE LEAVING #

#701
ME, TOO.

#702
ME, TOO.

#703
# WELL, THAT COMES AS NO SURPRISE... #

#704
# WELL, THAT COMES AS NO SURPRISE... #

#705
IT'S AMAZING HOW A FEW SIMPLE WORDS CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING.

#706
IT'S AMAZING HOW A FEW SIMPLE WORDS CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING.

#707
WHETHER IT'S AN APOLOGY...

#708
I'M SORRY I CAME DOWN SO HARD ON YOU.

#709
I'M SORRY I CAME DOWN SO HARD ON YOU.

#710
I'VE BEEN A BIT FORGETFUL LATELY.

#711
I SUPPOSE IT'S POSSIBLE THAT I COULD'VE TOLD YOU

#712
I SUPPOSE IT'S POSSIBLE THAT I COULD'VE TOLD YOU

#713
YOU COULD RENT THAT CRANE.

#714
YOU COULD RENT THAT CRANE.

#715
SIR...

#716
SIR...

#717
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.

#718
WHOA! HEY! TOMMY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

#719
WHOA! HEY! TOMMY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

#720
UH, TOMMY'S BEEN LET GO.

#721
UH, TOMMY'S BEEN LET GO.

#722
HAVE A NICE WEEKEND.

#723
HAVE A NICE WEEKEND.

#724
YOU, TOO, SIR.

#725
J.D. NARRATING: OR AN ADMISSION.

#726
J.D. NARRATING: OR AN ADMISSION.

#727
BABY, I'VE GOT DIABETES.

#728
OH, NO, TURK, REALLY?

#729
OH, NO, TURK, REALLY?

#730
CARLA -

#731
I CALL THIS TURK'S DIABETES BOX.

#732
I CALL THIS TURK'S DIABETES BOX.

#733
HERE IS A RECIPE FOR SUGAR-FREE BROWNIES.

#734
MM-MMM! OK, HERE'S A BUNCH OF ARTICLES

#735
MM-MMM! OK, HERE'S A BUNCH OF ARTICLES

#736
I DOWNLOADED OFF OF THE INTER -

#737
I DOWNLOADED OFF OF THE INTER -

#738
THANK YOU.

#739
YOU'RE WELCOME.

#740
OF COURSE, SOMETIMES IT'S NOT ABOUT THE WORDS.

#741
OF COURSE, SOMETIMES IT'S NOT ABOUT THE WORDS.

#742
-IT'S JUST ABOUT HAVING -SOMEONE THERE TO LISTEN.

#743
AND IT'S OUR DAD, AND HE'S RANTING AND RAVING

#744
AND IT'S OUR DAD, AND HE'S RANTING AND RAVING

#745
BECAUSE HE'S AN OFFICE SUPPLY SALESMAN

#746
AND HE CAN'T FIND A PAPER CLIP IN THE ENTIRE HOUSE.

#747
MEANWHILE, HE GETS TO WORK THE NEXT MORNING,

#748
REALIZES HE'S GOT A MILLION OF THEM

#749
REALIZES HE'S GOT A MILLION OF THEM

#750
IN THE TRUNK OF HIS CAR.

#751
THE TRUNK IS FILLED WITH BOXES OF THEM.

#752
THE TRUNK IS FILLED WITH BOXES OF THEM.

#753
HERE'S TO YOUR DAD.

#754
HERE'S TO YOUR DAD.

#755
EDITED BY ACCESS INNOVATION MEDIA WWW.AI-MEDIA.TV

#756
EDITED BY ACCESS INNOVATION MEDIA WWW.AI-MEDIA.TV

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