Scrubs

#1
Hey. How are you doing?

#2
-I know we put on a hell of a show but put some shades on or something! -Don't make a big deal out of this.

#3
-I know we put on a hell of a show but put some shades on or something! -Don't make a big deal out of this.

#4
-I know we put on a hell of a show but put some shades on or something! -Don't make a big deal out of this.

#5
-When was the last time you got laid? 'Take the spotlight off yourself.'

#6
-When was the last time you got laid? 'Take the spotlight off yourself.'

#7
Once on a redeye flight Turk groped a transsexual.

#8
Once on a redeye flight Turk groped a transsexual.

#9
-Baby, it was dark and he/she had a body that was rocking.

#10
-Baby, it was dark and he/she had a body that was rocking.

#11
'Mission accomplished.' -We're talking about you right now.

#12
'Mission accomplished.' -We're talking about you right now.

#13
-OK! I'm in a bit of a dry spell. I've no idea what to do with myself.

#14
-OK! I'm in a bit of a dry spell. I've no idea what to do with myself.

#15
-Give Rowdy a bath. He smells a little ripe.

#16
-Give Rowdy a bath. He smells a little ripe.

#17
-Please! I'm a young single player. I should be able to stir something up.

#18
-Please! I'm a young single player. I should be able to stir something up.

#19
How do you get so dirty? (WATER GURGLES)

#20
How do you get so dirty? (WATER GURGLES)

#21
-Rowdy!

#22
-Rowdy!

#23
'I am not the only one in a rut.'

#24
-My life sucks. -Least you're pretty. -Well, pretty don't pay the rent.

#25
-My life sucks. -Least you're pretty. -Well, pretty don't pay the rent.

#26
-It does for my sister. -She's a prostitute?

#27
-It does for my sister. -She's a prostitute?

#28
-She's a model. Elliot, we talked about thinking before we speak.

#29
-She's a model. Elliot, we talked about thinking before we speak.

#30
-I'm frazzled. I stopped taking Dad's money, so I can't pay the bills. I have no apartment

#31
-I'm frazzled. I stopped taking Dad's money, so I can't pay the bills. I have no apartment

#32
and thanks to this hospital I have not had time to look for a place!

#33
and thanks to this hospital I have not had time to look for a place!

#34
'Sometimes the hospital seems like a -hungry monster that feeds on lives.'

#35
'Sometimes the hospital seems like a -hungry monster that feeds on lives.'

#36
'Sometimes the hospital seems like a -hungry monster that feeds on lives.'

#37
(GROWLS)

#38
'It effects all of us.'

#39
Morning, Dr Cox. -Ho-ho-ho. Denise?

#40
Morning, Dr Cox. -Ho-ho-ho. Denise?

#41
I know it's morning. If it was last night I'd still be with my pregnant ex-wife trying to calm her down,

#42
I know it's morning. If it was last night I'd still be with my pregnant ex-wife trying to calm her down,

#43
cos believe it or not, I somehow managed to forget to bring home the curly fries.

#44
cos believe it or not, I somehow managed to forget to bring home the curly fries.

#45
cos believe it or not, I somehow managed to forget to bring home the curly fries.

#46
Do you see where I am going here? Yes? No? Maybe? Talk to her.

#47
Do you see where I am going here? Yes? No? Maybe? Talk to her.

#48
-The man has got troubles.

#49
-The man has got troubles.

#50
-You know, you're about one of the cutest doctors I have ever met.

#51
-You know, you're about one of the cutest doctors I have ever met.

#52
Give me a kiss.

#53
-Ha. Well, put it on your pocket and save it for later.

#54
-Ha. Well, put it on your pocket and save it for later.

#55
-Ha. Well, put it on your pocket and save it for later.

#56
'The monster kills everything that's beautiful. Everything.'

#57
'The monster kills everything that's beautiful. Everything.'

#58
'Except Lisa the gift-shop girl.' (HEAVENLY MUSIC)

#59
'Except Lisa the gift-shop girl.' (HEAVENLY MUSIC)

#60
-Hey, boys. When we get upstairs it's the trauma ward, not the drama ward.

#61
-Hey, boys. When we get upstairs it's the trauma ward, not the drama ward.

#62
Smiles, everyone.

#63
Smiles, everyone.

#64
'Whatever. -Dry spell, prepare to be moistened.'

#65
'Whatever. -Dry spell, prepare to be moistened.'

#66
Hey, Lisa. How are you doing? -JD, I can't give you free gum.

#67
Hey, Lisa. How are you doing? -JD, I can't give you free gum.

#68
-No, I was thinking you're probably one of those girls that's so pretty no-one has the courage to ask out.

#69
-No, I was thinking you're probably one of those girls that's so pretty no-one has the courage to ask out.

#70
-No, I get asked out all the time. 'OK, momentary setback. Regroup.'

#71
-No, I get asked out all the time. 'OK, momentary setback. Regroup.'

#72
-No, I get asked out all the time. 'OK, momentary setback. Regroup.'

#73
'Regroup!' Go out with me.

#74
It's the right thing to do. -Sure. Why not.

#75
It's the right thing to do. -Sure. Why not.

#76
# Hallelujah

#77
# Hallelujah #

#78
# Hallelujah #

#79
-Very funny, you dumb choir-punks! Santa is a drunk! Where were we?

#80
-Very funny, you dumb choir-punks! Santa is a drunk! Where were we?

#81
-So, what did you have in mind?

#82
-I can think of a couple of things.

#83
-I can think of a couple of things.

#84
-How does he get so dirty?

#85
-How does he get so dirty?

#86
-Who the hell cares?!

#87
# I can't do this all on my own

#88
# No, I know I am no superman

#89
# No, I know I am no superman

#90
# I am no superman #

#91
# I am no superman #

#92
-I'll see you tonight. -OK. Bye.

#93
-I'll see you tonight. -OK. Bye.

#94
-Nice to meet you, Turk. -It was a pleasure meeting you. Yo!

#95
-Nice to meet you, Turk. -It was a pleasure meeting you. Yo!

#96
Yeah, gift-shop girl. Player.

#97
Yeah, gift-shop girl. Player.

#98
-Hold me down. Y'know what I'm saying?

#99
-Hold me down. Y'know what I'm saying?

#100
-I want you to turn gift-shop girl into gift-shop woman.

#101
-I want you to turn gift-shop girl into gift-shop woman.

#102
-I swear on all the gifts in her shop, I will make you proud. -That's my dog.

#103
-I swear on all the gifts in her shop, I will make you proud. -That's my dog.

#104
That's my dog!

#105
That's my dog!

#106
-Come to, Papa. (CLEARS THROAT)

#107
-Come to, Papa. (CLEARS THROAT)

#108
-The coil didn't complete its revolution. My, er, candy is just hanging there instead of dropping.

#109
-The coil didn't complete its revolution. My, er, candy is just hanging there instead of dropping.

#110
-OK. Whatever.

#111
-OK. Whatever.

#112
If you're hungry, man, I can loan you a buck. -A buck?

#113
If you're hungry, man, I can loan you a buck. -A buck?

#114
What a kind offer from the charitable Dr Moneybags(!)

#115
What a kind offer from the charitable Dr Moneybags(!)

#116
-You can either be a jerk as usual or accept this gracious offer

#117
-You can either be a jerk as usual or accept this gracious offer

#118
and get some caramel dripped in nougat. Your choice, Jump Suit.

#119
and get some caramel dripped in nougat. Your choice, Jump Suit.

#120
-Jordan, I have to tell you, despite how crazy hormonal you are,

#121
-Jordan, I have to tell you, despite how crazy hormonal you are,

#122
there is something about a pregnant woman that's almost spiritual.

#123
there is something about a pregnant woman that's almost spiritual.

#124
You have never looked so beautiful.

#125
-It's the giant boobs, isn't it? -Have you seen them lately? -Yes.

#126
-It's the giant boobs, isn't it? -Have you seen them lately? -Yes.

#127
(I have seen bigger.)

#128
(I have seen bigger.)

#129
No, not you!

#130
No, not you!

#131
Although, kudos. -Mm-hmm.

#132
Although, kudos. -Mm-hmm.

#133
You know what I hate? -So many things.

#134
-I stay at yours and even though I feel like crap in the morning

#135
-I stay at yours and even though I feel like crap in the morning

#136
I have to drive to my apartment to get ready and the drive all the way back here.

#137
I have to drive to my apartment to get ready and the drive all the way back here.

#138
I have to drive to my apartment to get ready and the drive all the way back here.

#139
-Why don't you just leave your boobs and some other stuff at my place?

#140
-Why don't you just leave your boobs and some other stuff at my place?

#141
-Really? -If it saves you the hassle. Bring it on.

#142
-Really? -If it saves you the hassle. Bring it on.

#143
-Great. See you tonight.

#144
-She has developed a postoperative infection at her thyroidectomy site.

#145
-She has developed a postoperative infection at her thyroidectomy site.

#146
-Ow!

#147
-When a patient has an infection I make it policy not to push on it.

#148
-When a patient has an infection I make it policy not to push on it.

#149
Just start ancef 1g. Oh, my God! Did I ask my ex-wife to move in?

#150
Just start ancef 1g. Oh, my God! Did I ask my ex-wife to move in?

#151
Just start ancef 1g. Oh, my God! Did I ask my ex-wife to move in?

#152
-Uh-huh. What? You don't own that.

#153
-Turk? Come help me wrap presents.

#154
-Turk? Come help me wrap presents.

#155
-Do you realise how long it has been since we have had an afternoon off just the two of us?

#156
-Do you realise how long it has been since we have had an afternoon off just the two of us?

#157
-Yeah.

#158
-I am thinking I should give you a sensual massage. Rub your feet.

#159
-I am thinking I should give you a sensual massage. Rub your feet.

#160
And maybe, if you're interested, sex you up and whatnot.

#161
And maybe, if you're interested, sex you up and whatnot.

#162
-Come here. -I'll get the TV. -No.

#163
-Come here. -I'll get the TV. -No.

#164
Leave it on. I know how much you like the Jeffersons.

#165
Leave it on. I know how much you like the Jeffersons.

#166
-Baby, you're a gift from God. (GIGGLES)

#167
-Baby, you're a gift from God. (GIGGLES)

#168
-Here comes Daddy! Rah!

#169
(GIGGLES) I am gonna rock your world!

#170
(GIGGLES) I am gonna rock your world!

#171
# Moving on up

#172
# Moving on up

#173
# To the Eastside

#174
# To the Eastside

#175
# We have finally got a piece of the pie-e-e #

#176
# We have finally got a piece of the pie-e-e #

#177
-Turk? The show is starting.

#178
-Turk? The show is starting.

#179
-I put all those flyers up and nobody wants me to live with them.

#180
-I put all those flyers up and nobody wants me to live with them.

#181
-I put all those flyers up and nobody wants me to live with them.

#182
-I'm sure you'll find a roommate who's a clean non-smoking vegetarian that rinses the shower after each usage.

#183
-I'm sure you'll find a roommate who's a clean non-smoking vegetarian that rinses the shower after each usage.

#184
-If you don't it gets mildewy. -Live with my friend, Anal McLoony.

#185
-If you don't it gets mildewy. -Live with my friend, Anal McLoony.

#186
-I am so screwed. I had to move out. My stuff is outside in a truck.

#187
-I am so screwed. I had to move out. My stuff is outside in a truck.

#188
-I am so screwed. I had to move out. My stuff is outside in a truck.

#189
-Crash with me and Turk. -I am so tired of everyone always thinking I need to be rescued.

#190
-Crash with me and Turk. -I am so tired of everyone always thinking I need to be rescued.

#191
OK, JD? -Fine.

#192
OK, JD? -Fine.

#193
-Can anyone tell me the bacterial aetiology of toxic shock syndrome?

#194
-Can anyone tell me the bacterial aetiology of toxic shock syndrome?

#195
Sorry. With so many doctors standing around I assumed it was rounds.

#196
Sorry. With so many doctors standing around I assumed it was rounds.

#197
But you were looking at the wall, so that means it is an art exhibit.

#198
But you were looking at the wall, so that means it is an art exhibit.

#199
When does the gay gentleman come round with the tray of champagne?

#200
When does the gay gentleman come round with the tray of champagne?

#201
-My father cut me off.

#202
-It isn't bring-your-problems-to-work day. This is just work day.

#203
-It isn't bring-your-problems-to-work day. This is just work day.

#204
-It isn't bring-your-problems-to-work day. This is just work day.

#205
-But, sir, only one person took a phone number!

#206
-But, sir, only one person took a phone number!

#207
-Someone is getting a late-night drunk call from the Todd.-Lucky girl. -Yeah.

#208
-Someone is getting a late-night drunk call from the Todd.-Lucky girl. -Yeah.

#209
-Someone is getting a late-night drunk call from the Todd.-Lucky girl. -Yeah.

#210
-The surgeon is going to come by and do your lymph node dissection.

#211
-The surgeon is going to come by and do your lymph node dissection.

#212
A handsome young man, so don't forget about me. I'm serious, naughty girl.

#213
A handsome young man, so don't forget about me. I'm serious, naughty girl.

#214
-Sure, Jordan, you can take over the master bathroom.

#215
-Sure, Jordan, you can take over the master bathroom.

#216
Do me a favour, leave my sleeping pills out in case when I get home I want to take 300 of them. OK. Bye.

#217
Do me a favour, leave my sleeping pills out in case when I get home I want to take 300 of them. OK. Bye.

#218
Do me a favour, leave my sleeping pills out in case when I get home I want to take 300 of them. OK. Bye.

#219
-I can't stop obsessing about a date. What do you think I should do?

#220
-I can't stop obsessing about a date. What do you think I should do?

#221
-You should thank your lucky stars that you finally found a girl who is into same-sex relationships.

#222
-You should thank your lucky stars that you finally found a girl who is into same-sex relationships.

#223
-You know, Perry - -Perry? -Yeah, I am trying it out.

#224
-You know, Perry - -Perry? -Yeah, I am trying it out.

#225
I find that with the ladies if you're clear with your intentions

#226
I find that with the ladies if you're clear with your intentions

#227
right off the baton they fall into place. AQ? -What? -AQ?

#228
right off the baton they fall into place. AQ? -What? -AQ?

#229
A hip expression. "Any questions?"

#230
A hip expression. "Any questions?"

#231
-Don't think I am impressed cos you managed to score a sympathy date

#232
-Don't think I am impressed cos you managed to score a sympathy date

#233
with whatever homely-looking chick is managing the gift shop nowadays.

#234
with whatever homely-looking chick is managing the gift shop nowadays.

#235
-JD, are you ready to go? -The word you're looking for is wow.

#236
-JD, are you ready to go? -The word you're looking for is wow.

#237
And the words I am looking for are "in your face". Yeah, I am ready. Let's get going.

#238
And the words I am looking for are "in your face". Yeah, I am ready. Let's get going.

#239
And the words I am looking for are "in your face". Yeah, I am ready. Let's get going.

#240
PO. Peace out. (PHONE RINGS)

#241
-Jordan, if you're feeling like crap then I'll... come straight home.

#242
-Jordan, if you're feeling like crap then I'll... come straight home.

#243
Of course with the food.

#244
No, I don't necessarily know if there's anything bigger than a supersize, but I'll ask the guy.

#245
No, I don't necessarily know if there's anything bigger than a supersize, but I'll ask the guy.

#246
No, I don't necessarily know if there's anything bigger than a supersize, but I'll ask the guy.

#247
Oh, my God!

#248
-Oh, hell yeah!

#249
-Oh, hell yeah!

#250
Did I fall asleep? -Yes.

#251
Did I fall asleep? -Yes.

#252
-Before or after I rocked your world?

#253
-Before or after I rocked your world?

#254
(CHANTS) He's a good man.

#255
-Baby, I get nervous when you start chanting.

#256
-Baby, I get nervous when you start chanting.

#257
-Turk, what happened to all my stuff?

#258
-Turk, what happened to all my stuff?

#259
The massage? The bath? The feet? I let you watch the Jeffersons! -I was just exhausted from work.

#260
The massage? The bath? The feet? I let you watch the Jeffersons! -I was just exhausted from work.

#261
-You were when you were an intern but you always made time for romance.

#262
-You were when you were an intern but you always made time for romance.

#263
-You were when you were an intern but you always made time for romance.

#264
-That's cos I was trying to get into your delicates. -Oh, my God!

#265
-That's cos I was trying to get into your delicates. -Oh, my God!

#266
Dr Reid? What are you doing in here?

#267
Dr Reid? What are you doing in here?

#268
-Erm... Sir. Hi, Dr Kelso.

#269
-Erm... Sir. Hi, Dr Kelso.

#270
I was just, er... I was on call.

#271
I was just, er... I was on call.

#272
-I have the call sheet right here and your name doesn't seem to be on it.

#273
-I have the call sheet right here and your name doesn't seem to be on it.

#274
But what do I know? I am just a kindly old man who doesn't know the difference between a doctor on call

#275
But what do I know? I am just a kindly old man who doesn't know the difference between a doctor on call

#276
and one who maybe just needs a warm bed for the night.

#277
and one who maybe just needs a warm bed for the night.

#278
and one who maybe just needs a warm bed for the night.

#279
-I have been so swamped with work I couldn't even make time to find a new place. -I understand.

#280
-I have been so swamped with work I couldn't even make time to find a new place. -I understand.

#281
Life is hard.

#282
Life is hard.

#283
But if you want a bed in my hospital

#284
But if you want a bed in my hospital

#285
you had better have a damn rent cheque

#286
or a massive coronary in the next five seconds.

#287
or a massive coronary in the next five seconds.

#288
And believe me, missy, either one is fine with me.

#289
And believe me, missy, either one is fine with me.

#290
-Thank you, sir. -No problem.

#291
-Thank you, sir. -No problem.

#292
-I had a really good time tonight.

#293
-I had a really good time tonight.

#294
-I was nervous when you spent five minutes talking through a napkin.

#295
-I was nervous when you spent five minutes talking through a napkin.

#296
-That wasn't me, that was Nappy, the ice-breaking puppet. He earned his money tonight.

#297
-That wasn't me, that was Nappy, the ice-breaking puppet. He earned his money tonight.

#298
-You think you're in, huh? -Come on, I am so in.

#299
-You think you're in, huh? -Come on, I am so in.

#300
-You can't be sure. -I feel pretty good about it.

#301
-You can't be sure. -I feel pretty good about it.

#302
You want me. -I don't.

#303
You want me. -I don't.

#304
-I am a doctor. All the symptoms are there. You do.

#305
-Just kiss me.

#306
-Just kiss me.

#307
-Whoa. You know, I thought I had to sneeze but it was a false alarm.

#308
-Whoa. You know, I thought I had to sneeze but it was a false alarm.

#309
Let's do this.

#310
Let's do this.

#311
-OK.

#312
-You know what it is? It's like a tickling. I got this weird like...

#313
-You know what it is? It's like a tickling. I got this weird like...

#314
-Nappy, stop fooling around and give me a kiss.

#315
-Nappy, stop fooling around and give me a kiss.

#316
'You never know -how the monster is gonna attack.'

#317
'You never know -how the monster is gonna attack.'

#318
'Sometimes you're so tired of taking care of people at work you can't bear to take care of someone at home.'

#319
'Sometimes you're so tired of taking care of people at work you can't bear to take care of someone at home.'

#320
'Sometimes you're so tired of taking care of people at work you can't bear to take care of someone at home.'

#321
(PHONE RINGS)

#322
(PHONE RINGS)

#323
-Alright. We need to talk about this. (BLEEPER)

#324
-Alright. We need to talk about this. (BLEEPER)

#325
'Sometimes it pulls you away at the absolute worst time.'

#326
'Sometimes it pulls you away at the absolute worst time.'

#327
-Baby, I am sorry.

#328
-Baby, I am sorry.

#329
'Sometimes it even takes the roof -over your head.'

#330
'And sometimes the monster takes something you never thought you could lose.'

#331
'And sometimes the monster takes something you never thought you could lose.'

#332
'And sometimes the monster takes something you never thought you could lose.'

#333
'Like your mojo.'

#334
-Is that a roll of quarters or you having a good time?

#335
-Is that a roll of quarters or you having a good time?

#336
-Actually, it is a roll of quarters. Laundry day.

#337
-Actually, it is a roll of quarters. Laundry day.

#338
-Oh.

#339
-Oh.

#340
-See ya.

#341
-See ya.

#342
(GROWLING)

#343
'So, Little JD isn't rising -to the occasion.'

#344
'So, Little JD isn't rising -to the occasion.'

#345
'But it is not a big deal. Nobody knows about this but me.'

#346
'But it is not a big deal. Nobody knows about this but me.'

#347
-Hey. What's up? -Everything. Everything is up. -Rise and shine.

#348
-Hey. What's up? -Everything. Everything is up. -Rise and shine.

#349
'What? Did someone send out a flyer?' -Hey, JD. How's your penis?

#350
'What? Did someone send out a flyer?' -Hey, JD. How's your penis?

#351
'Calm down. He says it to everyone.'

#352
'Calm down. He says it to everyone.'

#353
-How's your penis? 'You're freaking -out. Keep your head down and move.'

#354
-How's your penis? 'You're freaking -out. Keep your head down and move.'

#355
-Huh.

#356
-Huh.

#357
I get it. I haven't paid you back so you won't even look at me? -No.

#358
I get it. I haven't paid you back so you won't even look at me? -No.

#359
-It has been one day, you greedy little bastard.

#360
-It has been one day, you greedy little bastard.

#361
'See what you did!'

#362
(TANNOY) Dr Reid, -your truck is double parked.

#363
(TANNOY) Dr Reid, -your truck is double parked.

#364
'Luckily for me I had a friend -I could talk to about anything.'

#365
'Luckily for me I had a friend -I could talk to about anything.'

#366
'Luckily for me I had a friend -I could talk to about anything.'

#367
Hey, Turk. Do you ever have any trouble getting your manhood going?

#368
Hey, Turk. Do you ever have any trouble getting your manhood going?

#369
-Hell no! -Me, neither, dog.

#370
'Apparently I am the only one here with women problems.'

#371
'Apparently I am the only one here with women problems.'

#372
-Listen, Perry, I am not really looking to make a permanent move

#373
-Listen, Perry, I am not really looking to make a permanent move

#374
to your bachelor cave. You made a kind gesture

#375
to your bachelor cave. You made a kind gesture

#376
and I made the mistake of thinking you could actually follow through with it. Do you get it?

#377
and I made the mistake of thinking you could actually follow through with it. Do you get it?

#378
-You don't get, do you? We have only been together for a year and a half!

#379
-You don't get, do you? We have only been together for a year and a half!

#380
The romance can't be gone yet! Does this make any sense to you?

#381
The romance can't be gone yet! Does this make any sense to you?

#382
-It doesn't to me. One minute we're clicking, the next you're running for your life. What's going on?

#383
-It doesn't to me. One minute we're clicking, the next you're running for your life. What's going on?

#384
-It doesn't to me. One minute we're clicking, the next you're running for your life. What's going on?

#385
'In a crunch time most guys are -smart enough to say the right thing.'

#386
'In a crunch time most guys are -smart enough to say the right thing.'

#387
-Baby, you have got to chill.

#388
-Baby, you have got to chill.

#389
-I am sorry. Crazy person says what? -What?! -Attagirl.

#390
-I am sorry. Crazy person says what? -What?! -Attagirl.

#391
-I am sorry. Crazy person says what? -What?! -Attagirl.

#392
'But sometimes the worst thing -a guy can say is nothing at all.'

#393
'But sometimes the worst thing -a guy can say is nothing at all.'

#394
-You know what? Forget it?

#395
-You know what? Forget it?

#396
-Dr Reid?

#397
-Dr Reid?

#398
I have no reading material for my daily post-lunch. Let's just call it reading session.

#399
I have no reading material for my daily post-lunch. Let's just call it reading session.

#400
I need your research proposal. Or Vanity Fair, if you have one.

#401
I need your research proposal. Or Vanity Fair, if you have one.

#402
-If I could get more time on that -

#403
-If I could get more time on that -

#404
-I am sorry, sweetheart. I am fresh out of special treatment today.

#405
-I am sorry, sweetheart. I am fresh out of special treatment today.

#406
I used it all trying not to stare at that albino doctor in radiology.

#407
I used it all trying not to stare at that albino doctor in radiology.

#408
Don't let him get to you. Keep saying positive things to yourself.

#409
Don't let him get to you. Keep saying positive things to yourself.

#410
-It's too much. I am just one person. -Attagirl.

#411
-It's too much. I am just one person. -Attagirl.

#412
-Sometimes I get so jealous of Turk. We're residents and we're so swamped and he just never seems to show it.

#413
-Sometimes I get so jealous of Turk. We're residents and we're so swamped and he just never seems to show it.

#414
That's cos he has got you to pick up the slack when he hasn't the energy.

#415
That's cos he has got you to pick up the slack when he hasn't the energy.

#416
-Yeah. You would think so.

#417
-Yeah. You would think so.

#418
(PHONE RINGS) Aren't you going to get that?

#419
(PHONE RINGS) Aren't you going to get that?

#420
-No, it's Todd. He's calling to ask if I want to move into his pants.

#421
-No, it's Todd. He's calling to ask if I want to move into his pants.

#422
'You never expect a cliche to be -an actual conversation starter.'

#423
'You never expect a cliche to be -an actual conversation starter.'

#424
-Women, huh? -Tell me about it.

#425
-Women, huh? -Tell me about it.

#426
-It's like they're from another planet. -OK.

#427
-It's like they're from another planet. -OK.

#428
I'm gonna engage you in conversation and you speak of it to no-one. OK?

#429
I'm gonna engage you in conversation and you speak of it to no-one. OK?

#430
-OK.

#431
-I am starting to go back in my head over all my old relationships.

#432
-I am starting to go back in my head over all my old relationships.

#433
But it's not like I am going to sit here and count up all the women I have ever slept with. -12.

#434
But it's not like I am going to sit here and count up all the women I have ever slept with. -12.

#435
-9. -18. But not one of them ever really understood me.

#436
-9. -18. But not one of them ever really understood me.

#437
-I am feeling you. I'm a bit stressed and I thought the one person that'd understand that would be Carla.

#438
-I am feeling you. I'm a bit stressed and I thought the one person that'd understand that would be Carla.

#439
-The weird thing is that I'm trying this time.

#440
-I wonder if I am what she wants.

#441
-I wonder if I am what she wants.

#442
-I just wonder if I will ever be able to make it work out with anyone.

#443
-I just wonder if I will ever be able to make it work out with anyone.

#444
-My peep's on the fritz. -Dude!

#445
-My peep's on the fritz. -Dude!

#446
(BOTH LAUGH)

#447
(BOTH LAUGH)

#448
No, I am talking about you guys. You guys are like my peeps, my dogs,

#449
No, I am talking about you guys. You guys are like my peeps, my dogs,

#450
and you are on the fritz. That's where fritz came from.

#451
and you are on the fritz. That's where fritz came from.

#452
-God love you. (WHISTLES)

#453
-God love you. (WHISTLES)

#454
-Thank you for giving me some perspective.

#455
(SLURPS) Ah.

#456
(SLURPS) Ah.

#457
There's your stupid dollar.

#458
There's your stupid dollar.

#459
And by the way, your new nickname is Peepee La Fritz. Enjoy.

#460
And by the way, your new nickname is Peepee La Fritz. Enjoy.

#461
(SPITS)

#462
(SPITS)

#463
Hey.

#464
-Is this where you're sleeping? -Yeah. So? It's cosy.

#465
-Is this where you're sleeping? -Yeah. So? It's cosy.

#466
Hospital adjacent.

#467
Hospital adjacent.

#468
-Elliot, come on. This is crazy.

#469
-Elliot, come on. This is crazy.

#470
You're living out of a van like a hobo or Jewel.

#471
You're living out of a van like a hobo or Jewel.

#472
-Her poetry changed my life.

#473
-You wanna show everyone you can stand on your own two feet but you don't have to prove anything to me.

#474
-You wanna show everyone you can stand on your own two feet but you don't have to prove anything to me.

#475
-You wanna show everyone you can stand on your own two feet but you don't have to prove anything to me.

#476
Come and stay with me and Turk.

#477
Come and stay with me and Turk.

#478
-What did you page me to the roof for?

#479
-What did you page me to the roof for?

#480
-I was thinking that you work so hard and that if I want surprise

#481
-I was thinking that you work so hard and that if I want surprise

#482
and romance that maybe it is my turn to be the one that brings it.

#483
and romance that maybe it is my turn to be the one that brings it.

#484
and romance that maybe it is my turn to be the one that brings it.

#485
So, I brought us

#486
So, I brought us

#487
a couple of salads. -That's great.

#488
-A box of 36 hot wings. -That's what I am talking about.

#489
-A box of 36 hot wings. -That's what I am talking about.

#490
-And some blue cheese dressing. -I LOVE THIS WOMAN!

#491
-And some blue cheese dressing. -I LOVE THIS WOMAN!

#492
'I guess in the end the monster -is always gonna be there.'

#493
'I guess in the end the monster -is always gonna be there.'

#494
'The trick is to not let it beat you.'

#495
'The trick is to not let it beat you.'

#496
-Curly fries?

#497
-Curly fries?

#498
-Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

#499
'And sometimes that means -letting a friend help you out.'

#500
'And sometimes that means -letting a friend help you out.'

#501
'And sometimes that means -letting a friend help you out.'

#502
-Thanks again, JD. -No sweat.

#503
Well, have a good night. -You, too.

#504
Well, have a good night. -You, too.

#505
'As for me, I just have to hope that -my problem will work itself out.'

#506
'As for me, I just have to hope that -my problem will work itself out.'

#507
# What's up with my heart -when it skips a beat?

#508
# What's up with my heart -when it skips a beat?

#509
# Skips a beat

#510
# Can't feel no pavement -right under my feet

#511
# Can't feel no pavement -right under my feet

#512
# Under my feet

#513
# Up in my lonely room # My room

#514
# Up in my lonely room # My room

#515
# When I am dreaming of you

#516
# Oh, what can I do?

#517
# Oh, what can I do?

#518
# I still need you but I don't want you now

#519
# I still need you but I don't want you now

#520
(INSTRUMENTAL)

#521
(INSTRUMENTAL)

#522
# When I'm down -and my hands are tied

#523
# When I'm down -and my hands are tied

#524
# Hands are tied

#525
# Hands are tied

#526
# I cannot reach a pen -for me to draw the line

#527
# Draw the line

#528
# Draw the line

#529
# From this pain -I just can't disguise

#530
# Can't disguise

#531
# Can't disguise

#532
# It's gonna hurt -but I'll have to say goodbye

#533
# It's gonna hurt -but I'll have to say goodbye

#534
# Say goodbye

#535
# Up in my lonely room # My room

#536
# Up in my lonely room # My room

#537
# When I'm dreaming of you

#538
# Oh, what can I do?

#539
# Oh, what can I do?

#540
# I still need you but I don't want you now

#541
# I still need you but I don't want you now

#542
(INSTRUMENTAL)

#543
(INSTRUMENTAL)

#544
# Oh, yeah...

#545
# Oh, yeah...

#546
-Merry Christmas.

#547
-This is exactly what I wanted.

#548
-This is exactly what I wanted.

#549
# Up in my lonely room # My room

#550
# Up in my lonely room # My room

#551
# When I'm dreaming of you

#552
# Oh, what can I do?

#553
# Oh, what can I do?

#554
# I still need you but I don't want you now #

#555
# I still need you but I don't want you now #

#556
Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

#557
Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

Season 2, Episode 10 — My Monster

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