Scrubs

#1
'Since she lost her apartment I let Elliot crash on my floor.' How did this happen?

#2
'Since she lost her apartment I let Elliot crash on my floor.' How did this happen?

#3
-JD, I'm homeless. I have no money and all I own is outside in a truck. My life's a mess.

#4
-JD, I'm homeless. I have no money and all I own is outside in a truck. My life's a mess.

#5
-JD, I'm homeless. I have no money and all I own is outside in a truck. My life's a mess.

#6
Plus... you were going through... a lot too. -My peep was on the fritz.

#7
Plus... you were going through... a lot too. -My peep was on the fritz.

#8
Plus... you were going through... a lot too. -My peep was on the fritz.

#9
Much better now, thank you for asking. -Point is,

#10
we were stressed out, vulnerable, made a mistake. -Four times.

#11
we were stressed out, vulnerable, made a mistake. -Four times.

#12
And a half, if you count that last thing. -By the way, that third time -

#13
And a half, if you count that last thing. -By the way, that third time -

#14
where did you learn that?!

#15
where did you learn that?!

#16
-What you watching, buddy? -"Animal Planet."

#17
-What you watching, buddy? -"Animal Planet."

#18
-Why does one monkey keep biting the other one on the ass? -I don't know,

#19
-Why does one monkey keep biting the other one on the ass? -I don't know,

#20
but she seems to love it.... -"(MONKEY CHATTERS)"

#21
but she seems to love it.... -"(MONKEY CHATTERS)"

#22
-The Congo. But look, Ellie, I think you're right, last night was great, but we - we can't keep doing this.

#23
-The Congo. But look, Ellie, I think you're right, last night was great, but we - we can't keep doing this.

#24
-The Congo. But look, Ellie, I think you're right, last night was great, but we - we can't keep doing this.

#25
Dr Reid. -Dr Dorian.

#26
Dr Reid. -Dr Dorian.

#27
'One cool thing about sex is, -it always seems to put you in a good mood.'

#28
'One cool thing about sex is, -it always seems to put you in a good mood.'

#29
'Hell, I think it even cheers up the people around you.'

#30
'Hell, I think it even cheers up the people around you.'

#31
'Hell, I think it even cheers up the people around you.'

#32
-Oh, joy... I get to work on Mrs Creedon with... the Wonder Twins. Dear Lord,

#33
-Oh, joy... I get to work on Mrs Creedon with... the Wonder Twins. Dear Lord,

#34
what in Thy most holy name did I do to offend Thee so? -My brother Bradley and I

#35
what in Thy most holy name did I do to offend Thee so? -My brother Bradley and I

#36
would pretend we were the Wonder Twins. He'd be, "Form of a dragon"

#37
would pretend we were the Wonder Twins. He'd be, "Form of a dragon"

#38
and then I'd be, like, "Shape of an ice dragon." Then he'd say I was copying him,

#39
and then I'd be, like, "Shape of an ice dragon." Then he'd say I was copying him,

#40
and then I'd be, like, "Shape of an ice dragon." Then he'd say I was copying him,

#41
he'd breathe on me and I'd have to melt, but it was still... awesome. -Funny, I don't recall

#42
he'd breathe on me and I'd have to melt, but it was still... awesome. -Funny, I don't recall

#43
he'd breathe on me and I'd have to melt, but it was still... awesome. -Funny, I don't recall

#44
asking for a really, really, really, really, really, really, RE-A-LL-Y boring story.

#45
asking for a really, really, really, really, really, really, RE-A-LL-Y boring story.

#46
My God, don't you understand no-one cares?

#47
My God, don't you understand no-one cares?

#48
-I care. -Correction - no-one important cares.

#49
Miss Creedon is in post-op, so let's start her out by CAT-scanning her abdomen. Oh -

#50
Miss Creedon is in post-op, so let's start her out by CAT-scanning her abdomen. Oh -

#51
Miss Creedon is in post-op, so let's start her out by CAT-scanning her abdomen. Oh -

#52
kidding aside - I'd really like to see us work together on this one. Come on now. (SINGS UP-TEMPO TUNE)

#53
kidding aside - I'd really like to see us work together on this one. Come on now. (SINGS UP-TEMPO TUNE)

#54
kidding aside - I'd really like to see us work together on this one. Come on now. (SINGS UP-TEMPO TUNE)

#55
Hands in. (CONTINUES SINGING) Whoo!

#56
Hands in. (CONTINUES SINGING) Whoo!

#57
Please...!

#58
Please...!

#59
-Congratulations again, he is beautiful!

#60
-Congratulations again, he is beautiful!

#61
-I was wondering about circumcision.

#62
-I was wondering about circumcision.

#63
-Well, you're a little old, uh, but I do have a room-mate

#64
-Well, you're a little old, uh, but I do have a room-mate

#65
who's a surgeon. He owes mea favour - -Talking about their son. -Oh. See,

#66
who's a surgeon. He owes mea favour - -Talking about their son. -Oh. See,

#67
that we're set up for. -We wanted to know how YOU felt about it, Carla. -Me?!

#68
that we're set up for. -We wanted to know how YOU felt about it, Carla. -Me?!

#69
'Don't get me wrong - -Carla loves her patients.'

#70
'Don't get me wrong - -Carla loves her patients.'

#71
'But she also loves how much they love her.' -I'm not a big fan.

#72
'But she also loves how much they love her.' -I'm not a big fan.

#73
What would the kid say if he knew?

#74
What would the kid say if he knew?

#75
-You wanna do WHAT?! I just got this thing!

#76
-You wanna do WHAT?! I just got this thing!

#77
-There are really no medical advantages to circumcision.

#78
-There are really no medical advantages to circumcision.

#79
-I told you! -I'm not talking about medical - -You wanted to slice into his manhood - 'Great...'

#80
-I told you! -I'm not talking about medical - -You wanted to slice into his manhood - 'Great...'

#81
What a day... Whoo-eee!

#82
I am as stressed out and vulnerable as I was last night.

#83
I am as stressed out and vulnerable as I was last night.

#84
I am as stressed out and vulnerable as I was last night.

#85
-Me too. -What to do, what to do, what-to-do-what-to-do-what-to-do? -I feel like doing nothing. -Come on,

#86
-Me too. -What to do, what to do, what-to-do-what-to-do-what-to-do? -I feel like doing nothing. -Come on,

#87
-Me too. -What to do, what to do, what-to-do-what-to-do-what-to-do? -I feel like doing nothing. -Come on,

#88
we could... rent a movie,

#89
get a fresh pack of Uno cards...

#90
get a fresh pack of Uno cards...

#91
get a fresh pack of Uno cards...

#92
Y'know what we COULD do?

#93
We could have sex again. I'm throwing it out.

#94
We could have sex again. I'm throwing it out.

#95
-Bite me. -Oh, come on, I was kidding! It was - it's a joke!

#96
-Bite me. -Oh, come on, I was kidding! It was - it's a joke!

#97
-No, I mean it. Like you did last night.

#98
Come bite me.

#99
'Stay calm...'

#100
'Stay calm...'

#101
# I can't do this all on my own

#102
# I can't do this all on my own

#103
# No, I know I'm no Superman

#104
# I'm no Superman #

#105
# I'm no Superman #

#106
-I'm so relaxed. It's like I totally forgot about being a doctor. -You're a doctor?

#107
-I'm so relaxed. It's like I totally forgot about being a doctor. -You're a doctor?

#108
-I'm so relaxed. It's like I totally forgot about being a doctor. -You're a doctor?

#109
-Problem is, we already know we don't work as a couple. -What a train wreck... -So we can't

#110
-Problem is, we already know we don't work as a couple. -What a train wreck... -So we can't

#111
keep doing this. -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...?! Hello and... whoa?

#112
keep doing this. -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...?! Hello and... whoa?

#113
-JD, it's just sex. -Elliot, we're adults.

#114
-JD, it's just sex. -Elliot, we're adults.

#115
I don't think we have to apologise for enjoying this.

#116
I don't think we have to apologise for enjoying this.

#117
'That's when she said the words every man is dying to hear.'

#118
'That's when she said the words every man is dying to hear.'

#119
-I guess we could just be sex buddies. (FANFARE)

#120
-I guess we could just be sex buddies. (FANFARE)

#121
If you want...

#122
-My wife won't listen to reason! -You've always said you felt insufficient! -Mr Marrick,

#123
-My wife won't listen to reason! -You've always said you felt insufficient! -Mr Marrick,

#124
even if uncircumcised your son will still look like you.

#125
even if uncircumcised your son will still look like you.

#126
'Course, he'll have to put on 200 lbs...

#127
'Course, he'll have to put on 200 lbs...

#128
I kid. You're a dashing man. Just dashing. Have you modelled? -What's all that about?

#129
I kid. You're a dashing man. Just dashing. Have you modelled? -What's all that about?

#130
-I... can't tell you, it's... doctor/patient confidentiality.

#131
-I... can't tell you, it's... doctor/patient confidentiality.

#132
-Oh. Right. Tell me.

#133
-Oh. Right. Tell me.

#134
-No, no, I'm not kidding, I... can't.

#135
-No, no, I'm not kidding, I... can't.

#136
-Can't... Or won't?

#137
-Can't... Or won't?

#138
-Can't! -Won't!

#139
-Can't! -Won't!

#140
-Are they STILL going at it? -Nah... Kelso calmed him down.

#141
-Are they STILL going at it? -Nah... Kelso calmed him down.

#142
I think we're OK. -We're not OK.

#143
I think we're OK. -We're not OK.

#144
-What are you talking about?

#145
'Oh...'

#146
-Elliot. You said you'd get that CAT-scan on Mrs Creedon's abdomen.

#147
-Elliot. You said you'd get that CAT-scan on Mrs Creedon's abdomen.

#148
-I was stuck on the phone all morning with bill collectors -

#149
-I was stuck on the phone all morning with bill collectors -

#150
who are OBSESSED with money. I spent an hour looking for clean bras,

#151
who are OBSESSED with money. I spent an hour looking for clean bras,

#152
who are OBSESSED with money. I spent an hour looking for clean bras,

#153
cos all I've got left is this date-night push-up one and I don't like working

#154
cos all I've got left is this date-night push-up one and I don't like working

#155
with these under my chin all day. Plus I am walking someplace now and can't remember where. -OK,

#156
with these under my chin all day. Plus I am walking someplace now and can't remember where. -OK,

#157
with these under my chin all day. Plus I am walking someplace now and can't remember where. -OK,

#158
I'll take care of it for you. -Thanks. Bathroom!

#159
-Does this name-tag say "Chief of Medicine?"

#160
-Does this name-tag say "Chief of Medicine?"

#161
-Uh, yes, sir. -Funny - because that couple back there thought it said, "Hi, I'm, Bob,

#162
-Uh, yes, sir. -Funny - because that couple back there thought it said, "Hi, I'm, Bob,

#163
ask me about your baby's johnson." In my hospital we do not go out on a limb with our opinions! -Oh,

#164
ask me about your baby's johnson." In my hospital we do not go out on a limb with our opinions! -Oh,

#165
ask me about your baby's johnson." In my hospital we do not go out on a limb with our opinions! -Oh,

#166
if a patient has questions in your hospital you ignore them?! -Look -

#167
if a patient has questions in your hospital you ignore them?! -Look -

#168
stay away from definite answers. Leave yourself wiggle-room. Say things like,

#169
stay away from definite answers. Leave yourself wiggle-room. Say things like,

#170
"We'll do what we can," "We'll get back to you on that,"

#171
"We'll do what we can," "We'll get back to you on that,"

#172
or "Hell, I don't know."

#173
or "Hell, I don't know."

#174
-Couldn't think of a third one, sir? -That WAS the third one.

#175
-Couldn't think of a third one, sir? -That WAS the third one.

#176
Ass-freeze...

#177
Ass-freeze...

#178
-Hey, chum, whaddaya say? Listen -

#179
-Hey, chum, whaddaya say? Listen -

#180
about getting that silly CAT-scan on Mrs Creedon

#181
about getting that silly CAT-scan on Mrs Creedon

#182
cos I'm gonna rip her stitches open,

#183
cos I'm gonna rip her stitches open,

#184
jam my head in there and see for myself. -Doctor - -Dammit! When I say...

#185
jam my head in there and see for myself. -Doctor - -Dammit! When I say...

#186
'It sucks being yelled at, -especially when it's someone else's fault.'

#187
'It sucks being yelled at, -especially when it's someone else's fault.'

#188
-Big of you to cover for Elliot. I had a good mind to spank her yesterday. -She screw up

#189
-Big of you to cover for Elliot. I had a good mind to spank her yesterday. -She screw up

#190
-Big of you to cover for Elliot. I had a good mind to spank her yesterday. -She screw up

#191
with one of your patients too? -No. -Still, Elliot seems frazzled, makes one mistake after another.

#192
with one of your patients too? -No. -Still, Elliot seems frazzled, makes one mistake after another.

#193
I wish I could help her out. I have no idea how she handles the stress.

#194
I wish I could help her out. I have no idea how she handles the stress.

#195
-Whoo! I feel so much better. See ya, bud.

#196
-Whoo! I feel so much better. See ya, bud.

#197
-Later, dude.

#198
-Mr Woodbury's son is getting married this weekend -

#199
-Mr Woodbury's son is getting married this weekend -

#200
he keeps asking if he'll be able to go. -Nasty case of pneumonia. Let's see.

#201
he keeps asking if he'll be able to go. -Nasty case of pneumonia. Let's see.

#202
His leucocytosis is resolved, his blood cultures are negative - tell him we'll do what we can.

#203
His leucocytosis is resolved, his blood cultures are negative - tell him we'll do what we can.

#204
His leucocytosis is resolved, his blood cultures are negative - tell him we'll do what we can.

#205
-Can't we tell him he can go? -Where's the wiggle-room? No wiggle!

#206
-Can't we tell him he can go? -Where's the wiggle-room? No wiggle!

#207
Fine, let me just tell him with you so I can enjoy it too. -Thank youso much! -It's my pleasure...

#208
Fine, let me just tell him with you so I can enjoy it too. -Thank youso much! -It's my pleasure...

#209
Fine, let me just tell him with you so I can enjoy it too. -Thank youso much! -It's my pleasure...

#210
Fine, let me just tell him with you so I can enjoy it too. -Thank youso much! -It's my pleasure...

#211
'OK, just give her a casual nod. -You don't want Turk to know what's going on.'

#212
'OK, just give her a casual nod. -You don't want Turk to know what's going on.'

#213
'OK, just give her a casual nod. -You don't want Turk to know what's going on.'

#214
-Dude, you're totally hitting that. -How do you do that? -It's a gift. Remember last time you two - -Relax,

#215
-Dude, you're totally hitting that. -How do you do that? -It's a gift. Remember last time you two - -Relax,

#216
man, we're just having fun. -You guys sex buddies or something? (FANFARE)

#217
man, we're just having fun. -You guys sex buddies or something? (FANFARE)

#218
Fashizel. -OK. I don't wanna get all Dr Phil on ya,

#219
Fashizel. -OK. I don't wanna get all Dr Phil on ya,

#220
but women have a hard time separating sex from emotions

#221
but women have a hard time separating sex from emotions

#222
and pretty soon she's gonna be, like, "JD, I need you."

#223
and pretty soon she's gonna be, like, "JD, I need you."

#224
and pretty soon she's gonna be, like, "JD, I need you."

#225
-If it ever got that emotional I'd break it off. -OK. By the way,

#226
-If it ever got that emotional I'd break it off. -OK. By the way,

#227
that dude is totally hitting that dude. Totally.

#228
that dude is totally hitting that dude. Totally.

#229
-You are GOOD! -I know.

#230
-You are GOOD! -I know.

#231
-What's up? -This Friday my church group's doing a production of "Rent" if you wanna go.

#232
-What's up? -This Friday my church group's doing a production of "Rent" if you wanna go.

#233
-What's up? -This Friday my church group's doing a production of "Rent" if you wanna go.

#234
-Yo - what's up that doesn't make me wanna shoot myself? -How's Mr... Laurence doing?

#235
-Yo - what's up that doesn't make me wanna shoot myself? -How's Mr... Laurence doing?

#236
-I'm afraid that's no longer any of your business -

#237
-I'm afraid that's no longer any of your business -

#238
he's not your patient as of 2pm.

#239
He asked for a new doctor. -My second patient switch-off today!

#240
He asked for a new doctor. -My second patient switch-off today!

#241
What is the deal?! -Maybe they were so overwhelmed by the high quality of your care

#242
What is the deal?! -Maybe they were so overwhelmed by the high quality of your care

#243
What is the deal?! -Maybe they were so overwhelmed by the high quality of your care

#244
that they couldn't stand another second. -I won't let you make me feel like crap today.

#245
that they couldn't stand another second. -I won't let you make me feel like crap today.

#246
Every doctor, including you, has had patients switch off from them for no reason.

#247
Every doctor, including you, has had patients switch off from them for no reason.

#248
It is just some dumb co-inky-dink that it happened to me twice today.

#249
It is just some dumb co-inky-dink that it happened to me twice today.

#250
It is just some dumb co-inky-dink that it happened to me twice today.

#251
I have to go check on Mrs Finnegan's chest x-rays. -No.She switched off too. 'Around here,

#252
I have to go check on Mrs Finnegan's chest x-rays. -No.She switched off too. 'Around here,

#253
things can turn bad in a heartbeat.'

#254
things can turn bad in a heartbeat.'

#255
-Sweetheart, Mr Woodbury is still requiring a lot of O2 - we'll have to keep him in

#256
-Sweetheart, Mr Woodbury is still requiring a lot of O2 - we'll have to keep him in

#257
over the weekend. Give him the skinny?

#258
over the weekend. Give him the skinny?

#259
'I guess when you work -in a world of uncertainty,

#260
'I guess when you work -in a world of uncertainty,

#261
it's great to have something at home you can count on.'

#262
it's great to have something at home you can count on.'

#263
Elliot?

#264
Elliot?

#265
What are you doing? -Sitting in the dark, crying.

#266
What are you doing? -Sitting in the dark, crying.

#267
So, you know, the usual.

#268
-Oh, OK.

#269
-Oh, OK.

#270
-I had such a crappy day... I really need you right now.

#271
-I had such a crappy day... I really need you right now.

#272
'She needs you?! Oh my God, -Turk was right.'

#273
'You have to stop kissing her and put an end to this before she gets hurt.' -What's wrong?

#274
'You have to stop kissing her and put an end to this before she gets hurt.' -What's wrong?

#275
'You have to stop kissing her and put an end to this before she gets hurt.' -What's wrong?

#276
'Ach, she's a tough kid - -you can tell her later.' No.

#277
'Ach, she's a tough kid - -you can tell her later.' No.

#278
'What did you do? Alright, don't panic - maybe she didn't enjoy it.'

#279
'What did you do? Alright, don't panic - maybe she didn't enjoy it.'

#280
'Aw, come on, who you kiddin'...?'

#281
'Aw, come on, who you kiddin'...?'

#282
-Why are so many of my patients switching off on me?! Are my hands that cold?! (GASPS)

#283
-Why are so many of my patients switching off on me?! Are my hands that cold?! (GASPS)

#284
-You didn't tell anyone I'm a Republican, did you? -No. (SIGHS) God,

#285
-You didn't tell anyone I'm a Republican, did you? -No. (SIGHS) God,

#286
I'm a doctor - what's the use of being a doctor if nobody lets you treat them?

#287
I'm a doctor - what's the use of being a doctor if nobody lets you treat them?

#288
I'm a doctor - what's the use of being a doctor if nobody lets you treat them?

#289
What is going on with my life...?

#290
'This is not the time to talk. -Either get out of the situation

#291
'This is not the time to talk. -Either get out of the situation

#292
without making her suspicious -' (PHONE RINGS)

#293
without making her suspicious -' (PHONE RINGS)

#294
-Hello? Oh, hi, Mom!

#295
-Hello? Oh, hi, Mom!

#296
Yeah, I miss you too!

#297
Yeah, I miss you too!

#298
I haven't spoken to you in so long!

#299
Hi, Mr Turk. No, Chris isn't here.

#300
No, no, sir, I didn't say "Mom," I said... "Mahn." Like, "Eh, mahn, we be jammin'"

#301
No, no, sir, I didn't say "Mom," I said... "Mahn." Like, "Eh, mahn, we be jammin'"

#302
No, sir, I don't think all black people are Jamaican.

#303
No, sir, I don't think all black people are Jamaican.

#304
I love you too, Mommy!

#305
Sir, could you call back later? Chris'll be home.

#306
Sir, could you call back later? Chris'll be home.

#307
-Yeah, there's been some break-ins. Need to change all the locks on these lockers.

#308
-Yeah, there's been some break-ins. Need to change all the locks on these lockers.

#309
Shoulda gotten your new combination in the mail. -I didn't. You know what it is? -Yeah.

#310
Shoulda gotten your new combination in the mail. -I didn't. You know what it is? -Yeah.

#311
Shoulda gotten your new combination in the mail. -I didn't. You know what it is? -Yeah.

#312
-But you're not gonna tell me,are you? -Can't - janitor/locker confidentiality.

#313
-But you're not gonna tell me,are you? -Can't - janitor/locker confidentiality.

#314
'He made that up.'

#315
'He made that up.'

#316
-Are you watching "Sesame Street?" -When I was a kid, I had my first sex dream about Mr Hooper.

#317
-Are you watching "Sesame Street?" -When I was a kid, I had my first sex dream about Mr Hooper.

#318
At least I think it was a sex dream. He was trying to choke me. -Yeah, that's... sweet.

#319
At least I think it was a sex dream. He was trying to choke me. -Yeah, that's... sweet.

#320
At least I think it was a sex dream. He was trying to choke me. -Yeah, that's... sweet.

#321
You on a break or something?

#322
You on a break or something?

#323
-Well, I have nothing else to do - none of my patients wanna see me. -That's a good thing,

#324
-Well, I have nothing else to do - none of my patients wanna see me. -That's a good thing,

#325
because now you have time to take care of your life. -Why are you being so weird? -Well,

#326
because now you have time to take care of your life. -Why are you being so weird? -Well,

#327
because now you have time to take care of your life. -Why are you being so weird? -Well,

#328
that could be cos he's shaven his dome so much lately

#329
that could be cos he's shaven his dome so much lately

#330
that the hair's growing inward - an affliction commonly known as the Infro.

#331
that the hair's growing inward - an affliction commonly known as the Infro.

#332
But if I were to guess exactly why he's been acting weird lately, I'd say it's because... he's the one

#333
But if I were to guess exactly why he's been acting weird lately, I'd say it's because... he's the one

#334
But if I were to guess exactly why he's been acting weird lately, I'd say it's because... he's the one

#335
who's been steering your patients away from you. (SIGHS) Discuss.

#336
who's been steering your patients away from you. (SIGHS) Discuss.

#337
'Carla asked to give Mr Woodbury -the bad news.' -How bad could it be? 'I wonder how he'll take it.'

#338
'Carla asked to give Mr Woodbury -the bad news.' -How bad could it be? 'I wonder how he'll take it.'

#339
'Carla asked to give Mr Woodbury -the bad news.' -How bad could it be? 'I wonder how he'll take it.'

#340
-Out the window! Throw her out the window!

#341
-Out the window! Throw her out the window!

#342
-Here goes... -Know what? Mr Woodbury's doing well enough to be discharged.

#343
-Here goes... -Know what? Mr Woodbury's doing well enough to be discharged.

#344
I don't mind standing up to Kelso. Time to take the GR off my gratitude

#345
I don't mind standing up to Kelso. Time to take the GR off my gratitude

#346
I don't mind standing up to Kelso. Time to take the GR off my gratitude

#347
and give the bastard some attitude, JD-style...! -His office is that way. -I have to go throw up first. -OK.

#348
and give the bastard some attitude, JD-style...! -His office is that way. -I have to go throw up first. -OK.

#349
-What the hell, Turk?! -Oh, good, Barbie, now really access the anger.

#350
-What the hell, Turk?! -Oh, good, Barbie, now really access the anger.

#351
-How could you do that to me? -Yeah, how could you?! -I wanted to protect you,

#352
-How could you do that to me? -Yeah, how could you?! -I wanted to protect you,

#353
give you a little break. -The old I'm-trying-to-help-you gambit. See through that - yo, kick him!

#354
give you a little break. -The old I'm-trying-to-help-you gambit. See through that - yo, kick him!

#355
give you a little break. -The old I'm-trying-to-help-you gambit. See through that - yo, kick him!

#356
-Elliot, I'm SORRY!

#357
-Elliot, I'm SORRY!

#358
Elliot?!

#359
'OK, now's your chance. -You're at work, so she won't get emotional.'

#360
'OK, now's your chance. -You're at work, so she won't get emotional.'

#361
'Tell her things are getting too serious. Just butter her up first.'

#362
'Tell her things are getting too serious. Just butter her up first.'

#363
'Tell her things are getting too serious. Just butter her up first.'

#364
Well, look at you, Miss Nobody-Wants-As-Their-Doctor,

#365
I don't see Mr Ellis here complaining!

#366
I don't see Mr Ellis here complaining!

#367
-He's in a coma. -Ellie, we should talk.

#368
-He's in a coma. -Ellie, we should talk.

#369
-I found out Turk was telling my patients to switch off from me. -What?! -He said

#370
-I found out Turk was telling my patients to switch off from me. -What?! -He said

#371
he was trying to protect me.

#372
he was trying to protect me.

#373
-I'll go talk to him.

#374
That IV looks like it's infiltrating. Nurse musta screwed up.

#375
That IV looks like it's infiltrating. Nurse musta screwed up.

#376
-Um,... I did that.

#377
-Um,... I did that.

#378
-Well, what's with the mouth full of chicklets, sweetheart?

#379
-Well, what's with the mouth full of chicklets, sweetheart?

#380
-No special reason, sir. -Really? I thought it might be because Dr Dorian came to see me

#381
-No special reason, sir. -Really? I thought it might be because Dr Dorian came to see me

#382
with his feathers all up, his voice a-crackin' and told me he was letting Mr Woodbury go. -Oh?

#383
with his feathers all up, his voice a-crackin' and told me he was letting Mr Woodbury go. -Oh?

#384
with his feathers all up, his voice a-crackin' and told me he was letting Mr Woodbury go. -Oh?

#385
-His knees were knocking so loud I almost didn't see you standing over him,

#386
-His knees were knocking so loud I almost didn't see you standing over him,

#387
pulling the strings. -Dr Kelso - -Maybe Mr Woodbury will be fine.

#388
pulling the strings. -Dr Kelso - -Maybe Mr Woodbury will be fine.

#389
Maybe he'll be back in a few days even worse for wear because you rushed him out.

#390
Maybe he'll be back in a few days even worse for wear because you rushed him out.

#391
Maybe he'll be back in a few days even worse for wear because you rushed him out.

#392
Who knows? But darn it all, I think the bigger question is why you even give a hoot?

#393
Who knows? But darn it all, I think the bigger question is why you even give a hoot?

#394
-Actually, sir, I have this little problem with caring for my patients.

#395
-Actually, sir, I have this little problem with caring for my patients.

#396
-Actually, sir, I have this little problem with caring for my patients.

#397
-Still, if you decide later that what you really care about is how much your patients like YOU,

#398
-Still, if you decide later that what you really care about is how much your patients like YOU,

#399
you can always change your mind about letting Mr Woodbury leave.

#400
you can always change your mind about letting Mr Woodbury leave.

#401
Hell, I'll even back you up.

#402
Hell, I'll even back you up.

#403
-Apologise. -To you?! -No, to Richard - that was his basketball.

#404
-Hello, Richard. Tell you what, tomorrow at lunch I'll bring you a new basketball.

#405
-Hello, Richard. Tell you what, tomorrow at lunch I'll bring you a new basketball.

#406
-Hello, Richard. Tell you what, tomorrow at lunch I'll bring you a new basketball.

#407
And a hoagie.

#408
And a hoagie.

#409
-Don't you wanna hear my side of the story with your sex buddy?

#410
-Don't you wanna hear my side of the story with your sex buddy?

#411
-Don't you wanna hear my side of the story with your sex buddy?

#412
(FANFARE)

#413
No.

#414
No.

#415
-Come on, man, where's the love? Where's the - the loyalty?

#416
Where's automatically siding with the person you care about the most? Oh God, that's what you're doing,

#417
Where's automatically siding with the person you care about the most? Oh God, that's what you're doing,

#418
Where's automatically siding with the person you care about the most? Oh God, that's what you're doing,

#419
isn't it? Isn't it?

#420
isn't it? Isn't it?

#421
Tch!

#422
Tch!

#423
'Some realisations -stop you in your tracks.'

#424
'Some realisations -stop you in your tracks.'

#425
'Others can lead you in new directions.'

#426
'Others can lead you in new directions.'

#427
-Dr Cox, I wanted to let you know that Turk did the right thing

#428
-Dr Cox, I wanted to let you know that Turk did the right thing

#429
by taking my patients off of my service. -No.

#430
by taking my patients off of my service. -No.

#431
What that yellow-bellied scalpel-jock should have done

#432
What that yellow-bellied scalpel-jock should have done

#433
was to inject himself with testosterone -

#434
that way he'd have the stones to at least come and talk to you next time he had a problem.

#435
that way he'd have the stones to at least come and talk to you next time he had a problem.

#436
that way he'd have the stones to at least come and talk to you next time he had a problem.

#437
-Can't seem to stop letting my life out there affect my life in here. -Hell, Barbie... Look at me!

#438
-Can't seem to stop letting my life out there affect my life in here. -Hell, Barbie... Look at me!

#439
-Can't seem to stop letting my life out there affect my life in here. -Hell, Barbie... Look at me!

#440
It's not like I've always been the centred, well-adjusted guy

#441
It's not like I've always been the centred, well-adjusted guy

#442
you see walking up and down the halls of this dump - that takes time. But eventually

#443
you see walking up and down the halls of this dump - that takes time. But eventually

#444
you learn to keep your personal problems separate from this place.

#445
you learn to keep your personal problems separate from this place.

#446
-What do I do until then? -Get your damn life in order.

#447
-What do I do until then? -Get your damn life in order.

#448
-What do I do until then? -Get your damn life in order.

#449
Oh, and Barbie -

#450
Oh, and Barbie -

#451
what say word would get out that Uncle Cox was doling out the feel-goods?

#452
what say word would get out that Uncle Cox was doling out the feel-goods?

#453
I'll make you pay. You have no idea...

#454
I'll make you pay. You have no idea...

#455
Huge.

#456
'It's a funny thing -when we're forced to see ourselves in a new light.' -Mr Woodbury,

#457
'It's a funny thing -when we're forced to see ourselves in a new light.' -Mr Woodbury,

#458
hold on a sec. 'Hopefully you see -yourself in time to make a change.' -Sadly, we're not comfortable

#459
hold on a sec. 'Hopefully you see -yourself in time to make a change.' -Sadly, we're not comfortable

#460
hold on a sec. 'Hopefully you see -yourself in time to make a change.' -Sadly, we're not comfortable

#461
discharging you yet. I'm so sorry. 'Hopefully you'll be respected -for it.'

#462
discharging you yet. I'm so sorry. 'Hopefully you'll be respected -for it.'

#463
-You evil little witch.

#464
-You evil little witch.

#465
-Let me see that chart, Nurse.

#466
-Let me see that chart, Nurse.

#467
Well, I see no reason why we should keep Mr Woodbury any longer. Enjoy your son's wedding, sir!

#468
Well, I see no reason why we should keep Mr Woodbury any longer. Enjoy your son's wedding, sir!

#469
Well, I see no reason why we should keep Mr Woodbury any longer. Enjoy your son's wedding, sir!

#470
Cherish the moments. -Thank you so much, Doctor...?

#471
Cherish the moments. -Thank you so much, Doctor...?

#472
-Kelso. Bob Kelso.

#473
'Bye, Bob. Glad I could help.

#474
'Bye, Bob. Glad I could help.

#475
'Of course sometimes the new light -opens your eyes to something you knew all along.'

#476
'Of course sometimes the new light -opens your eyes to something you knew all along.'

#477
-Just feels like every day keeps getting worse.

#478
-Just feels like every day keeps getting worse.

#479
What's all this? -Nothing. I just felt like taking care of you.

#480
What's all this? -Nothing. I just felt like taking care of you.

#481
-This is so nice...!

#482
-This is so nice...!

#483
'It's nice because it's the start -of something.'

#484
'It's nice because it's the start -of something.'

#485
-I... I can't do this. -OK,

#486
-I... I can't do this. -OK,

#487
let's tongue, let's tongue. -No, this.

#488
You know - sex buddies.

#489
You know - sex buddies.

#490
(DEFLATED TRUMPETS)

#491
(DEFLATED TRUMPETS)

#492
-Dr Cox and I were talking. I'm so scattered right now,

#493
-Dr Cox and I were talking. I'm so scattered right now,

#494
I just... I just can't seem to grab a toe-hold, y'know?

#495
I just... I just can't seem to grab a toe-hold, y'know?

#496
And... I know myself and if I keep doing this I won't be able to separate the sex

#497
And... I know myself and if I keep doing this I won't be able to separate the sex

#498
And... I know myself and if I keep doing this I won't be able to separate the sex

#499
from my feelings and we'll end up a couple again. Neither of us wants that, right?

#500
from my feelings and we'll end up a couple again. Neither of us wants that, right?

#501
I mean, I know I don't. -Me neither.

#502
I mean, I know I don't. -Me neither.

#503
-So... what do we do?

#504
-So... what do we do?

#505
# Tell her

#506
# Not to go

#507
# Not to go

#508
-It's no big deal, you get your stuff out of my room, crash on the couch.

#509
-It's no big deal, you get your stuff out of my room, crash on the couch.

#510
'K.

#511
# Tell her something in my mind

#512
# Tell her something in my mind

#513
# Freezes up from time to time

#514
# Freezes up from time to time

#515
# Tell her nothing if not this

#516
# Tell her nothing if not this

#517
# All I want to do is kiss her

#518
# All I want to do is kiss her

#519
# Tell her not to go

#520
# Tell her not to go

#521
# Tell her something in my mind Freezes up from time to time #

#522
# Tell her something in my mind Freezes up from time to time #

#523
Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

#524
Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

Season 2, Episode 11 — My Sex Buddy

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