Scrubs

#1
'It's not everyday your best bud asks his girlfriend to marry him.' Chocolate Bear, did you ask her?

#2
'It's not everyday your best bud asks his girlfriend to marry him.' Chocolate Bear, did you ask her?

#3
-She said she needed to think, then left for Chicago for five days.

#4
-She said she needed to think, then left for Chicago for five days.

#5
'He needs you. Stay -positive.' Woo-hooooo!

#6
'He needs you. Stay -positive.' Woo-hooooo!

#7
(SINGS) # She's thinkin' She's thinkin'

#8
(SINGS) # She's thinkin' She's thinkin'

#9
# And we should go out drinkin'

#10
# And we should go out drinkin'

#11
# Chucka-uh-huh #

#12
Wanna get a beer? -I'm not leaving this spot till she calls.

#13
Wanna get a beer? -I'm not leaving this spot till she calls.

#14
-Alright, man. I understand.

#15
-Alright, man. I understand.

#16
Still nothing?!

#17
-We just keep missing each other. I'm not sweatingit. (PHONE RINGS)

#18
-We just keep missing each other. I'm not sweatingit. (PHONE RINGS)

#19
-We just keep missing each other. I'm not sweatingit. (PHONE RINGS)

#20
-She asked me to pick her up from the airport. That's a good sign.

#21
-She asked me to pick her up from the airport. That's a good sign.

#22
-I am so sure she's gonna say yes, if she doesn't I'll power walk naked singing "Me andBobby McGee".

#23
-I am so sure she's gonna say yes, if she doesn't I'll power walk naked singing "Me andBobby McGee".

#24
-Ah, Janis Joplin. My God, she was an uggo.

#25
-Ah, Janis Joplin. My God, she was an uggo.

#26
No offence, sport. Don't think I have anything against ugly people.

#27
No offence, sport. Don't think I have anything against ugly people.

#28
No offence, sport. Don't think I have anything against ugly people.

#29
-Why would I take offence to that? -No reason.

#30
-Why would I take offence to that? -No reason.

#31
I see you're on the nephrology service for Dr Townshend this month.

#32
I see you're on the nephrology service for Dr Townshend this month.

#33
'Dr Townshend is like the -Anti-Kelso. The nurses love him,...'

#34
'Dr Townshend is like the -Anti-Kelso. The nurses love him,...'

#35
-Betty! That colour is great on you!

#36
'..the attendings love him,...' How's the best doctor here?

#37
'..the attendings love him,...' How's the best doctor here?

#38
-You tell me, hotshot! '..everyone loves him.'

#39
-You tell me, hotshot! '..everyone loves him.'

#40
# Hello, my rag time, summer-time gal

#41
# Hello, my rag time, summer-time gal

#42
# Send me a kiss -by wire # By wire #

#43
-Yes, sir!

#44
-Yes, sir!

#45
'Everyone.'

#46
-Thank you... for being you.

#47
-Thank you... for being you.

#48
'The weirdest thing of all, is -that he and Dr Kelso are best friends.'

#49
'The weirdest thing of all, is -that he and Dr Kelso are best friends.'

#50
-There he is! -Missed you on our morning jog.

#51
-There he is! -Missed you on our morning jog.

#52
What is that now, 200 days ina row? -You're a pistol! (BOTH -LAUGH)

#53
What is that now, 200 days ina row? -You're a pistol! (BOTH -LAUGH)

#54
The only place this guy's running to is to a bakery! Who's got me up high?

#55
The only place this guy's running to is to a bakery! Who's got me up high?

#56
-Mistake you made there - you didn't pat his belly, it soothes him. -Damn!

#57
-Mistake you made there - you didn't pat his belly, it soothes him. -Damn!

#58
-It's so beautiful.

#59
-It's so beautiful.

#60
-I would have showed it to you before you left, but I couldn't get to it.

#61
-I would have showed it to you before you left, but I couldn't get to it.

#62
That is a long story. -I want to thank you for not pressuring me.

#63
That is a long story. -I want to thank you for not pressuring me.

#64
Don't get me wrong, you left me 40 messages in five days,

#65
Don't get me wrong, you left me 40 messages in five days,

#66
but I know you, if you weren't holding back, it would've been140. -I do love the speed dial!

#67
but I know you, if you weren't holding back, it would've been140. -I do love the speed dial!

#68
but I know you, if you weren't holding back, it would've been140. -I do love the speed dial!

#69
(BOTH LAUGH)

#70
-So, you got an answer yet?

#71
-So, you got an answer yet?

#72
(HORN BLARES) Whoa!

#73
-What's the deal there, Gandhi?

#74
-What's the deal there, Gandhi?

#75
Are you gonna be a bride? Oh, come on.

#76
Are you gonna be a bride? Oh, come on.

#77
This is one of those small windows when I'm interested in your life.

#78
This is one of those small windows when I'm interested in your life.

#79
What's the deal? Did she give you an answer?

#80
What's the deal? Did she give you an answer?

#81
(SINGS) Freedom's just another -word for nothin' left to do.

#82
(SINGS) Freedom's just another -word for nothin' left to do.

#83
-Not yet.

#84
-Thanks, Todd. Here's your $50.

#85
-Keep it, man. That was for me!

#86
-Keep it, man. That was for me!

#87
-Todd, get dressed. -I'm going back out there!

#88
-Todd, get dressed. -I'm going back out there!

#89
# I can't do -this on my own

#90
# No, I know

#91
# No, I know

#92
# I am no superman

#93
# I am no superman

#94
# I am no superman #

#95
I still can't believe I power walked butt-naked through the halls.

#96
I still can't believe I power walked butt-naked through the halls.

#97
I still can't believe I power walked butt-naked through the halls.

#98
-My man, I know that wasn't you. -How?!

#99
-My man, I know that wasn't you. -How?!

#100
-I can pick your puff'n'stuff out of a line-up. -It's changed since you saw it, it got ahaircut.

#101
-I can pick your puff'n'stuff out of a line-up. -It's changed since you saw it, it got ahaircut.

#102
(KNOCK ON DOOR) 'Turk's brother is staying with us for the weekend.'

#103
(KNOCK ON DOOR) 'Turk's brother is staying with us for the weekend.'

#104
-Hey, hey, hey! Little brother!

#105
-Hey, hey, hey! Little brother!

#106
'It'll be fun.' Hey, Kev! -Alfalfa! What's the happie-haps?

#107
'It'll be fun.' Hey, Kev! -Alfalfa! What's the happie-haps?

#108
-That depends. What's a "happie-hap"?

#109
-That depends. What's a "happie-hap"?

#110
-So, this is the place, huh? This is nice!

#111
-So, this is the place, huh? This is nice!

#112
Hey, hey. So, how is this baby? Is it alright?

#113
Hey, hey. So, how is this baby? Is it alright?

#114
-This, right here, is fit for a king.

#115
-Good. I feel better about sleeping in your room while you're out here.

#116
-Good. I feel better about sleeping in your room while you're out here.

#117
-No, that's not gonna work. -I'm a businessman, we can work something out.

#118
-No, that's not gonna work. -I'm a businessman, we can work something out.

#119
-No, that's not gonna work. -I'm a businessman, we can work something out.

#120
I sent you to college, med school, so, I'll sleep on the couch, and you cut me a cheque for 80,000.

#121
I sent you to college, med school, so, I'll sleep on the couch, and you cut me a cheque for 80,000.

#122
-I'll go get my pillow. -Yeah.

#123
-I'll go get my pillow. -Yeah.

#124
(LAUGHS) That was good! We -should make him make dinner for us tonight. He could be our own personal slave!

#125
(LAUGHS) That was good! We -should make him make dinner for us tonight. He could be our own personal slave!

#126
-Our own personal what? -Oh, no, I don't mean like that kind of slave.

#127
-Our own personal what? -Oh, no, I don't mean like that kind of slave.

#128
-Our own personal what? -Oh, no, I don't mean like that kind of slave.

#129
-How 'bout he be the house slave and I be the field slave? That sound like fun?

#130
-How 'bout he be the house slave and I be the field slave? That sound like fun?

#131
-That wouldn't be fun. -What's going on?

#132
-That wouldn't be fun. -What's going on?

#133
-I forgot how much fun it was messing with Alfalfa! (ALL -LAUGH)

#134
-I forgot how much fun it was messing with Alfalfa! (ALL -LAUGH)

#135
-No, we're late because you took forever to get ready. That's what happens whenyou're vain!

#136
-No, we're late because you took forever to get ready. That's what happens whenyou're vain!

#137
-Whatever you say, Mr Yesterday I Had Chest Hair, Today I Suddenly Don't(!)

#138
-Whatever you say, Mr Yesterday I Had Chest Hair, Today I Suddenly Don't(!)

#139
'Elliot just can't help herself.' -You're a waxer?!

#140
'Elliot just can't help herself.' -You're a waxer?!

#141
-Hark, it is the high-pitched warble of the nosy nelly(!)

#142
-Hark, it is the high-pitched warble of the nosy nelly(!)

#143
Don't see many of those flitting about these halls because,

#144
Don't see many of those flitting about these halls because,

#145
well, quite frankly, when one does one shoots to kill.

#146
well, quite frankly, when one does one shoots to kill.

#147
Now, Bar-bie, Jordan is here for her ultrasound today, and I'm going to be holding her claw the entire time.

#148
Now, Bar-bie, Jordan is here for her ultrasound today, and I'm going to be holding her claw the entire time.

#149
So, what you've just done is essentially volunteered to do all of your work and all ofmine.

#150
So, what you've just done is essentially volunteered to do all of your work and all ofmine.

#151
So, what you've just done is essentially volunteered to do all of your work and all ofmine.

#152
Step this way and I'll tell you more about what you've won!

#153
Step this way and I'll tell you more about what you've won!

#154
-See you at lunch? -Split-pea soup today.

#155
-See you at lunch? -Split-pea soup today.

#156
-Sir, Dr Townshend was telling me you have some great old stories about the hospital. I'd love to hear one.

#157
-Sir, Dr Townshend was telling me you have some great old stories about the hospital. I'd love to hear one.

#158
-Sir, Dr Townshend was telling me you have some great old stories about the hospital. I'd love to hear one.

#159
-Well, what the hell. Back in '68... I don't like you. The end.

#160
-Well, what the hell. Back in '68... I don't like you. The end.

#161
-He tells that one a lot. -I know.

#162
-He tells that one a lot. -I know.

#163
I know you're labouring over his proposal,

#164
I know you're labouring over his proposal,

#165
so, I thought I'd sweeten the pot, I have a killer best-man's toast.

#166
so, I thought I'd sweeten the pot, I have a killer best-man's toast.

#167
-Oh, yeah. I'm gonna rush the biggest decision ever so I can hear you say,

#168
-Oh, yeah. I'm gonna rush the biggest decision ever so I can hear you say,

#169
"When I first met Turk, I knew this was a guy I could party with! Yeah!

#170
"When I first met Turk, I knew this was a guy I could party with! Yeah!

#171
-Please! 'She's psychic!'

#172
-Please! 'She's psychic!'

#173
-I just wanna have a nice lunch with my boyfriend and his brother, OK?

#174
-I just wanna have a nice lunch with my boyfriend and his brother, OK?

#175
'Turk was using his brother as -a selling point. No-one said "family" more than Kevin.'

#176
'Turk was using his brother as -a selling point. No-one said "family" more than Kevin.'

#177
-Baby? -Yeah? -Check out my bother's kids.

#178
-Baby? -Yeah? -Check out my bother's kids.

#179
-Ohhh. They're adorable!

#180
-Ohhh. They're adorable!

#181
-How's that great marriageof yours? -Over. 'Oh, no.'

#182
-How's that great marriageof yours? -Over. 'Oh, no.'

#183
-What?! -I couldn't take it any more. I had to get the hell out of there!

#184
-What?! -I couldn't take it any more. I had to get the hell out of there!

#185
-"Get the hell out of there"? 'Oh, my God! Change the -subject!'

#186
-"Get the hell out of there"? 'Oh, my God! Change the -subject!'

#187
Everybody, soda-chugging contest!

#188
(BELCHES)

#189
(BELCHES)

#190
(EXHALES)

#191
(EXHALES)

#192
-Ugh!

#193
-Excuse me. -When did you have the fajitas?

#194
-Excuse me. -When did you have the fajitas?

#195
-So, are we finding out the sex of the baby today?

#196
-So, are we finding out the sex of the baby today?

#197
-Yes, we are. -No, we're not. -Be reasonable.

#198
-Yes, we are. -No, we're not. -Be reasonable.

#199
If you're incubating a manbat, we should find out about it asap, there are vaccinations to consider.

#200
If you're incubating a manbat, we should find out about it asap, there are vaccinations to consider.

#201
If you're incubating a manbat, we should find out about it asap, there are vaccinations to consider.

#202
-We'll compromise. I'll decide this and you get to decide...

#203
-We'll compromise. I'll decide this and you get to decide...

#204
Sorry, I got nothing. -It's common for each parent to feel differently.

#205
Sorry, I got nothing. -It's common for each parent to feel differently.

#206
-Actually, I am not the father, he's a bellboy in Greece.

#207
-Actually, I am not the father, he's a bellboy in Greece.

#208
(We think.) -Neat.

#209
(We think.) -Neat.

#210
-It's kicking me. -Who could blame the poor thing(!)

#211
-It's kicking me. -Who could blame the poor thing(!)

#212
(GIGGLES)

#213
'Huh. That's odd.'

#214
'Huh. That's odd.'

#215
-Argh! (THUDDING SOUND)

#216
-Argh! (THUDDING SOUND)

#217
(NECK CRACKS) -What the hellhappened? -I moved your ladder.

#218
(NECK CRACKS) -What the hellhappened? -I moved your ladder.

#219
(NECK CRACKS) -What the hellhappened? -I moved your ladder.

#220
-I don't know why you keep doing these things to me!

#221
-I don't know why you keep doing these things to me!

#222
-I don't know, either! -If it isn't my favourite custodial engineer!

#223
-I don't know, either! -If it isn't my favourite custodial engineer!

#224
Listen, do me a favour, will you?

#225
Listen, do me a favour, will you?

#226
Help me look after this kid - one of the good guys.

#227
Help me look after this kid - one of the good guys.

#228
-I got a meeting this afternoon, but what do you say, tonight we tear it up like we used to!

#229
-I got a meeting this afternoon, but what do you say, tonight we tear it up like we used to!

#230
-I gotta work.

#231
-I gotta work.

#232
-Get somebody to cover for your ass, man! I'm only here for the weekend!

#233
-Get somebody to cover for your ass, man! I'm only here for the weekend!

#234
-I just asked Carla to marry me, and you acted like a jerk.

#235
-I just asked Carla to marry me, and you acted like a jerk.

#236
-Oh, man! Y-You're engaged?!

#237
Congratulations! -She hasn't exactly said yes yet.

#238
Congratulations! -She hasn't exactly said yes yet.

#239
-Sometimes a lady needs to sleep on it.

#240
-Sometimes a lady needs to sleep on it.

#241
-I asked her a week ago. -Damn!

#242
-I asked her a week ago. -Damn!

#243
Well, on the bright side, you're definitely flying solo tonight!

#244
Well, on the bright side, you're definitely flying solo tonight!

#245
-I'm out.

#246
-I'm out.

#247
-Hey, Chris, come on now, I was just playing.

#248
(SCREAMS) CHRIS!

#249
(SCREAMS) CHRIS!

#250
If you really don't want to know the sex, it's time to look away.

#251
If you really don't want to know the sex, it's time to look away.

#252
-Dr Cox, I... Excuse me.

#253
-Dr Cox, I... Excuse me.

#254
I just need you... -Ah-ba-ba-ba.

#255
I just need you... -Ah-ba-ba-ba.

#256
-This is ridiculous! I'm gonna find out its sex.

#257
-This is ridiculous! I'm gonna find out its sex.

#258
-Dr Gerson's not gonna tell you.

#259
-Dr Gerson's not gonna tell you.

#260
-Oh, look! -Oh, gosh, I guess I'm stuck, then.

#261
-Oh, look! -Oh, gosh, I guess I'm stuck, then.

#262
Alrighty. (WHISTLES)

#263
(MOUTHS) Go!

#264
(MOUTHS) Go!

#265
(MOUTHS) Go!

#266
Out! Chop-chop!

#267
Out! Chop-chop!

#268
-Sir, can I call you "Townsie"? -No.

#269
'I was having a great -time working with Townsie.'

#270
'I was having a great -time working with Townsie.'

#271
-Mr Singer needs a swan. Why don't you go ahead and do an IJ cut-down?

#272
-Mr Singer needs a swan. Why don't you go ahead and do an IJ cut-down?

#273
'A cut-down?! -No-one does those any more.'

#274
'A cut-down?! -No-one does those any more.'

#275
Shouldn't I do a modified Seldinger? It's much safer.

#276
Shouldn't I do a modified Seldinger? It's much safer.

#277
-Nah, come on, let's do "old school".

#278
-Nah, come on, let's do "old school".

#279
-But, I don't - -Grab a scalpel. I'll get the kit.

#280
Somebody?

#281
Somebody?

#282
'So often in a hospital you -feel like you're alone on an island.'

#283
'So often in a hospital you -feel like you're alone on an island.'

#284
'Whether it's because you just can't bring yourself to make a really important decision,

#285
'Whether it's because you just can't bring yourself to make a really important decision,

#286
'Whether it's because you just can't bring yourself to make a really important decision,

#287
or because you're waiting for an answer.'

#288
or because you're waiting for an answer.'

#289
'Or simply because you know a secret you wish you didn't.'

#290
'Or simply because you know a secret you wish you didn't.'

#291
'For me, I was stuck on that island because somebody else put me there.'

#292
'For me, I was stuck on that island because somebody else put me there.'

#293
-OK, come on now, just cut through.

#294
-OK, come on now, just cut through.

#295
Good. Now, open up the vein.

#296
But be careful not to nick the carotid artery.

#297
But be careful not to nick the carotid artery.

#298
Oh, boy!

#299
'Oh, no.'

#300
-The vascular surgeon said to say you could pick up your patient tonight.

#301
-The vascular surgeon said to say you could pick up your patient tonight.

#302
He also said he could give you a loaner patient if you needed someone to butcher. I didn'tget it.

#303
He also said he could give you a loaner patient if you needed someone to butcher. I didn'tget it.

#304
He also said he could give you a loaner patient if you needed someone to butcher. I didn'tget it.

#305
-No-one expects you to, son. -OK, thanks.

#306
-No-one expects you to, son. -OK, thanks.

#307
'This sucks. But, as bad as I -feel, I'm sure Dr Townshend feels even worse for making medo it.'

#308
'This sucks. But, as bad as I -feel, I'm sure Dr Townshend feels even worse for making medo it.'

#309
-Don't worry about it. I'll take the blame.

#310
-Don't worry about it. I'll take the blame.

#311
'He hides it well.'

#312
-Do you really think he wants to get married?

#313
-Do you really think he wants to get married?

#314
-Any guy who scours the earth to find the world's smallest diamond ring clearly knows exactly what he wants.

#315
-Any guy who scours the earth to find the world's smallest diamond ring clearly knows exactly what he wants.

#316
-Any guy who scours the earth to find the world's smallest diamond ring clearly knows exactly what he wants.

#317
-I don't know if he's mature enough. He couldn't stop giggling when he had to operate on Mr Wiener.

#318
-I don't know if he's mature enough. He couldn't stop giggling when he had to operate on Mr Wiener.

#319
(LAUGHS) -It's a funny name!

#320
(LAUGHS) -It's a funny name!

#321
-Stop it.

#322
-He's 27, he's a surgeon involved in a long-term monogamous relationship,

#323
-He's 27, he's a surgeon involved in a long-term monogamous relationship,

#324
-He's 27, he's a surgeon involved in a long-term monogamous relationship,

#325
and I'd love to trash him, but I'm not down with the maturity thing.

#326
and I'd love to trash him, but I'm not down with the maturity thing.

#327
Barbie!

#328
Barbie, I need you to go down to the lab and get Mrs Miller's blood work,

#329
Barbie, I need you to go down to the lab and get Mrs Miller's blood work,

#330
disimpact Mr Burnett in 317, and what was the child's sex?

#331
disimpact Mr Burnett in 317, and what was the child's sex?

#332
disimpact Mr Burnett in 317, and what was the child's sex?

#333
-I've got a better idea. You do those things, then I'll think about telling you.

#334
-I've got a better idea. You do those things, then I'll think about telling you.

#335
-That's weird. Seems like you got yourself a big-boy spine. Listen, you tell or else!

#336
-That's weird. Seems like you got yourself a big-boy spine. Listen, you tell or else!

#337
-Or else what? You'll treat me worse than you usually do? Here's the inside scoop, Perry.

#338
-Or else what? You'll treat me worse than you usually do? Here's the inside scoop, Perry.

#339
-Or else what? You'll treat me worse than you usually do? Here's the inside scoop, Perry.

#340
For the first time, I have leverage. You're familiar with leverage, right?

#341
For the first time, I have leverage. You're familiar with leverage, right?

#342
You'll need to disimpact Mr Burnett, who is so locked up. He's been eating either gum, rubber, cement, or cork.

#343
You'll need to disimpact Mr Burnett, who is so locked up. He's been eating either gum, rubber, cement, or cork.

#344
-Look, Barbie. -That's not my name.

#345
-Look, Barbie. -That's not my name.

#346
-Fine, Dr... Reid? Really?

#347
-Fine, Dr... Reid? Really?

#348
-What?

#349
-Nothing.

#350
-Nothing.

#351
-Elliot Reid in the house!

#352
-Elliot Reid in the house!

#353
-Sit.

#354
-Sit.

#355
-Oh, no thanks. I'll just... -I'm not asking.

#356
-Oh, no thanks. I'll just... -I'm not asking.

#357
This is the kid we're gonna look out for.

#358
This is the kid we're gonna look out for.

#359
Brent from Parking. He'll set you up with a spot at the main entrance, you'll never be lateagain.

#360
Brent from Parking. He'll set you up with a spot at the main entrance, you'll never be lateagain.

#361
Crazy-Eyes Margot, Housekeeping.

#362
Crazy-Eyes Margot, Housekeeping.

#363
She'll make sure you got fresh scrubs in your locker every morning.

#364
She'll make sure you got fresh scrubs in your locker every morning.

#365
Troy, from the cafeteria line. He's gonna stop spitting in your food.

#366
Troy, from the cafeteria line. He's gonna stop spitting in your food.

#367
-Thank you for that.

#368
-Thank you for that.

#369
-I don't understand! Why do we gotta be nice to him? -Cos I said so.

#370
-I don't understand! Why do we gotta be nice to him? -Cos I said so.

#371
-Yeah, but - -Troy! No more warnings.

#372
-Yeah, but - -Troy! No more warnings.

#373
Whoa! Bring the hands in.

#374
Whoa! Bring the hands in.

#375
Bless us in these thy gifts we're about to receive from thy bounty. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

#376
Bless us in these thy gifts we're about to receive from thy bounty. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

#377
Look out for each one of us, including our new member. Also, help Margot to find her way home tonight.

#378
Look out for each one of us, including our new member. Also, help Margot to find her way home tonight.

#379
Look out for each one of us, including our new member. Also, help Margot to find her way home tonight.

#380
'Still, something was -bothering me.' -Bob, come on!

#381
'Still, something was -bothering me.' -Bob, come on!

#382
How many times must I apologise for introducing you to your wife? -Once a month until she's dead!

#383
How many times must I apologise for introducing you to your wife? -Once a month until she's dead!

#384
-Do you have a second? -What did I tell you about my open-door policy?

#385
-Do you have a second? -What did I tell you about my open-door policy?

#386
-Do you have a second? -What did I tell you about my open-door policy?

#387
I don't have one.

#388
-I was the one who nicked the artery on Mr Singer.

#389
-I was the one who nicked the artery on Mr Singer.

#390
-Oh, cheese on rice, son! I just said it was me!

#391
-Oh, cheese on rice, son! I just said it was me!

#392
-You need to shape up. You're never gonna get by on your looks.

#393
-You need to shape up. You're never gonna get by on your looks.

#394
-Alright, first of all, at the very least, I'm interesting looking.

#395
-Alright, first of all, at the very least, I'm interesting looking.

#396
And secondly, I feel I made that mistake

#397
And secondly, I feel I made that mistake

#398
Cos Dr Townshend forced me to perform a procedure that's unsafe and outdated.

#399
Cos Dr Townshend forced me to perform a procedure that's unsafe and outdated.

#400
'Sorry, Townsie.'

#401
'Sorry, Townsie.'

#402
-Now, let me get this straight. You screwed up doing something you should've been able tohandle,

#403
-Now, let me get this straight. You screwed up doing something you should've been able tohandle,

#404
and now you're in here to tattle on the very guy who's taken the bullet for you. Isthat right?

#405
and now you're in here to tattle on the very guy who's taken the bullet for you. Isthat right?

#406
and now you're in here to tattle on the very guy who's taken the bullet for you. Isthat right?

#407
-Do me a favour, will ya, son? Grab that for me?

#408
-Do me a favour, will ya, son? Grab that for me?

#409
Thanks! (GROANS)

#410
-I'm sorry, sir.

#411
-I'm sorry, sir.

#412
-Kelly clamp. -One Kelly clamp coming right up.

#413
-Kelly clamp. -One Kelly clamp coming right up.

#414
Hey, Rowdy! -You seem distracted. Is something wrong?

#415
Hey, Rowdy! -You seem distracted. Is something wrong?

#416
-No, sir. I call everyone..."Rowdy."

#417
-No, sir. I call everyone..."Rowdy."

#418
-What, leave him in the car?

#419
-You freaked out Carla, nearly got me fired! Why don't you smack me(?)

#420
-You freaked out Carla, nearly got me fired! Why don't you smack me(?)

#421
-You freaked out Carla, nearly got me fired! Why don't you smack me(?)

#422
-Fine. Check this out! I can't believe you're giving me attitude!

#423
-Fine. Check this out! I can't believe you're giving me attitude!

#424
I've taken care of you your entire life, I tell I'm getting divorced, and you make it all about you!

#425
I've taken care of you your entire life, I tell I'm getting divorced, and you make it all about you!

#426
-You didn't seem too broken up about it! Why should I care?

#427
-You didn't seem too broken up about it! Why should I care?

#428
-She left me, OK?

#429
-Alrighty, there, Dr Leverage. Listen up, here's the real "inside scoop".

#430
-Alrighty, there, Dr Leverage. Listen up, here's the real "inside scoop".

#431
I could literally sculpt a gigantic Mr Burnett out of what I just removed from MrBurnett.

#432
I could literally sculpt a gigantic Mr Burnett out of what I just removed from MrBurnett.

#433
I could literally sculpt a gigantic Mr Burnett out of what I just removed from MrBurnett.

#434
So, it's in your best interest for you to start talking.

#435
So, it's in your best interest for you to start talking.

#436
Should I get the child a baseball glove or a tutu?

#437
Should I get the child a baseball glove or a tutu?

#438
-Girls can play baseball, too! -Yak-yak! I know what girls can do! You've come a long way.Spill, doll.

#439
-Girls can play baseball, too! -Yak-yak! I know what girls can do! You've come a long way.Spill, doll.

#440
-I think you should think about this.

#441
-I think you should think about this.

#442
So, I wrote it down and I put it an envelope and then I gave it to her.

#443
So, I wrote it down and I put it an envelope and then I gave it to her.

#444
-Hi, honey.

#445
-Hi, honey.

#446
-You are just so gonna pay for this.

#447
-You are just so gonna pay for this.

#448
-Yeah, well, so are you.

#449
-Bend over, baby. -Oh!

#450
-Bend over, baby. -Oh!

#451
-Mr Singer's going to be just fine.

#452
-Mr Singer's going to be just fine.

#453
-Jeez! Don't creep up on me! I almost dropped some fruit in my loops!

#454
-Jeez! Don't creep up on me! I almost dropped some fruit in my loops!

#455
-Jeez! Don't creep up on me! I almost dropped some fruit in my loops!

#456
-I'm sorry, buddy.

#457
Say, listen, er,... nowadays it has become kind of hospital protocol

#458
Say, listen, er,... nowadays it has become kind of hospital protocol

#459
to do modified Seldinger. You do know how to do one, don't you?

#460
to do modified Seldinger. You do know how to do one, don't you?

#461
to do modified Seldinger. You do know how to do one, don't you?

#462
-Of course! -Good.

#463
Because the patient in bed number 2 needs one. You mind doing it for me?

#464
Because the patient in bed number 2 needs one. You mind doing it for me?

#465
-What the hell's this all about?

#466
-What the hell's this all about?

#467
-Nothing! I was just looking over your files

#468
-Nothing! I was just looking over your files

#469
and your osteoporotic patients aren't on bisphosphonate.

#470
and your osteoporotic patients aren't on bisphosphonate.

#471
and your osteoporotic patients aren't on bisphosphonate.

#472
Your diabetics aren't on ACE inhibitors.

#473
Doug, a lot of your treatments are pretty out of date.

#474
Doug, a lot of your treatments are pretty out of date.

#475
-Come on, Bob, guys like us, we're set in our ways.

#476
-Come on, Bob, guys like us, we're set in our ways.

#477
-This is not an age thing. If you've been out of med school five years,

#478
-This is not an age thing. If you've been out of med school five years,

#479
-This is not an age thing. If you've been out of med school five years,

#480
half of what you learned is obsolete!

#481
Why do you think I spend every other weekend at a seminar in some two-star hotel ballroom

#482
Why do you think I spend every other weekend at a seminar in some two-star hotel ballroom

#483
Why do you think I spend every other weekend at a seminar in some two-star hotel ballroom

#484
that still stinks of last night's prom vomit? I do it to keep up.

#485
that still stinks of last night's prom vomit? I do it to keep up.

#486
-Also, it gives you two days away from the missus.

#487
-Also, it gives you two days away from the missus.

#488
I am sorry I was the one who introduced you in the first place!

#489
I am sorry I was the one who introduced you in the first place!

#490
Look, Bob, I just... I don't have the energy for all that stuff.

#491
Look, Bob, I just... I don't have the energy for all that stuff.

#492
-Well, then we got a problem.

#493
-Well, then we got a problem.

#494
You wanna talk about what happened?

#495
You wanna talk about what happened?

#496
-Nah, man. Look, it's just too depressing.

#497
-Nah, man. Look, it's just too depressing.

#498
-You're in a bad place, but you'll get through it. Just give it time.

#499
-You're in a bad place, but you'll get through it. Just give it time.

#500
-What am I supposed to do until then?

#501
-What am I supposed to do until then?

#502
-Barkeep, I'm gonna need these two glasses and that bottle of whisky.

#503
-Barkeep, I'm gonna need these two glasses and that bottle of whisky.

#504
Excuse me, miss. My brother definitely needs to borrow your hat.

#505
Excuse me, miss. My brother definitely needs to borrow your hat.

#506
For the love of all that's holy! Will someone put on some country!

#507
For the love of all that's holy! Will someone put on some country!

#508
(COUNTRY MUSIC)

#509
(COUNTRY MUSIC)

#510
-We are a horrible couple. -You couldn't be more wrong.

#511
-We are a horrible couple. -You couldn't be more wrong.

#512
Because, even though that isn't my kid in there,

#513
Because, even though that isn't my kid in there,

#514
I still want to feel connected.

#515
I still want to feel connected.

#516
And I thought I'd be more hooked in if I knew.

#517
And I thought I'd be more hooked in if I knew.

#518
-It's funny.

#519
Every time I think you're the same old sharp-edged jackass,

#520
Every time I think you're the same old sharp-edged jackass,

#521
you turn around and do something to remind me that you're such a pansy.

#522
you turn around and do something to remind me that you're such a pansy.

#523
-Ahh.

#524
-Ahh.

#525
-Listen, I was really hoping

#526
that the two of us could find out when the baby comes.

#527
that the two of us could find out when the baby comes.

#528
But, if you really need to know now, just keep it to yourself.

#529
But, if you really need to know now, just keep it to yourself.

#530
-Yeah, run away, there, missy. Guilt trips don't work on ol' Per-a-reno.

#531
-Yeah, run away, there, missy. Guilt trips don't work on ol' Per-a-reno.

#532
-Yeah, run away, there, missy. Guilt trips don't work on ol' Per-a-reno.

#533
Ah?

#534
-Sport, if you're still standing there when I turn around, I'm gonna have them erase your name, too.

#535
-Sport, if you're still standing there when I turn around, I'm gonna have them erase your name, too.

#536
-Sport, if you're still standing there when I turn around, I'm gonna have them erase your name, too.

#537
-Good night, sir.

#538
'It's not always easy to do the right thing.'

#539
'It's not always easy to do the right thing.'

#540
'It's not always easy to do the right thing.'

#541
-This is to my brother, y'all! My brother!

#542
'Like putting someone else's -feelings first for a change.'

#543
'Like putting someone else's -feelings first for a change.'

#544
-Wah-hoo! (COUGHS)

#545
-Wah-hoo! (COUGHS)

#546
'Even if it goes -against what you really want.'

#547
'Even if it goes -against what you really want.'

#548
-No.

#549
'Of course, there's -always ramifications.'

#550
'Of course, there's -always ramifications.'

#551
My car! -Yee-ha!

#552
My car! -Yee-ha!

#553
-You think it's my fault he gotfired. -Why would you say that? -No reason.

#554
-You think it's my fault he gotfired. -Why would you say that? -No reason.

#555
-Let's see ya drive home now, Mr Doctor-Man! (LAUGHS)

#556
-Let's see ya drive home now, Mr Doctor-Man! (LAUGHS)

#557
-Let's see ya drive home now, Mr Doctor-Man! (LAUGHS)

#558
-Troy. I said just stand there, didn't I?

#559
-Troy. I said just stand there, didn't I?

#560
-Yeah?!

#561
-Yeah?!

#562
-I may have to get rid of the guy.

#563
'Even if you do the right -thing, there's no guarantee it'll turn out the right way.'

#564
'Even if you do the right -thing, there's no guarantee it'll turn out the right way.'

#565
'Even if you do the right -thing, there's no guarantee it'll turn out the right way.'

#566
(SINGS) # He ain't -heavy, he's my brother #

#567
(SINGS) # He ain't -heavy, he's my brother #

#568
Oh, oh. She, er, she's not with him. And she ain't with me.

#569
Oh, oh. She, er, she's not with him. And she ain't with me.

#570
Oh, oh. She, er, she's not with him. And she ain't with me.

#571
She's, er... She's with Rowdy. Not like that.

#572
'Because even something as -harmless as 20 or 30 drinks with your brother can end up biting you on the ass.'

#573
'Because even something as -harmless as 20 or 30 drinks with your brother can end up biting you on the ass.'

#574
'Because even something as -harmless as 20 or 30 drinks with your brother can end up biting you on the ass.'

#575
-Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

#576
-Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

Season 2, Episode 14 — My Brother, My Keeper

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