Scrubs

#1
'Turk's relationship is so messed up that I decided to lighten his mood.'

#2
'Turk's relationship is so messed up that I decided to lighten his mood.'

#3
'Nothing cracks him up more than the old block-the-door-with-my-foot gag.' -Ugh!

#4
'Nothing cracks him up more than the old block-the-door-with-my-foot gag.' -Ugh!

#5
'Oops. Wrong person.'

#6
'Oops. Wrong person.'

#7
-What happened? -Card must have got stuck. Gotta go!

#8
-You know how much I care about you. -I'm dizzy.

#9
-You know how much I care about you. -I'm dizzy.

#10
-You're fine. I know it looked bad with me and Kevin coming home

#11
-You're fine. I know it looked bad with me and Kevin coming home

#12
-You're fine. I know it looked bad with me and Kevin coming home

#13
all liquored up with a hot chick, but Kevin was freaking out about his divorce, I was being supportive!

#14
all liquored up with a hot chick, but Kevin was freaking out about his divorce, I was being supportive!

#15
-Yeah, by dragging home some random bar skank(!)

#16
-Yeah, by dragging home some random bar skank(!)

#17
-Dude, you're not helping. -Not trying to help.

#18
-Dude, you're not helping. -Not trying to help.

#19
-The point is, I have figured out why you're not ready to marry me yet.

#20
-The point is, I have figured out why you're not ready to marry me yet.

#21
You think I'm too immature. -It's not about that.

#22
You think I'm too immature. -It's not about that.

#23
-Is it my sleep toots? Cos, baby,

#24
I'll stop having dairy after six. -I don't know what it is.

#25
I'll stop having dairy after six. -I don't know what it is.

#26
Since you asked me, all I wanted to do was say yes. It's just that every time I try to, something stops me.

#27
Since you asked me, all I wanted to do was say yes. It's just that every time I try to, something stops me.

#28
Since you asked me, all I wanted to do was say yes. It's just that every time I try to, something stops me.

#29
You just have to be patient.

#30
You just have to be patient.

#31
-Yeah, about that...

#32
-He said he was gonna keep asking until I said yes.

#33
-He said he was gonna keep asking until I said yes.

#34
-That's how I lost my virginity. Except, Turk didn't propose in Jim Vilicetti's crawl-space.

#35
-That's how I lost my virginity. Except, Turk didn't propose in Jim Vilicetti's crawl-space.

#36
-That's how I lost my virginity. Except, Turk didn't propose in Jim Vilicetti's crawl-space.

#37
(MOBILE RINGS) -Yes? -"Woo-hoo! You said yes! We're getting married!"

#38
(MOBILE RINGS) -Yes? -"Woo-hoo! You said yes! We're getting married!"

#39
-Turk, stop celebrating. That's how I answer the phone. It's only been ten minutes since we last talked.

#40
-Turk, stop celebrating. That's how I answer the phone. It's only been ten minutes since we last talked.

#41
-Turk, stop celebrating. That's how I answer the phone. It's only been ten minutes since we last talked.

#42
-Don't you hate it when people yap on their phones? -She is my friend!

#43
-Don't you hate it when people yap on their phones? -She is my friend!

#44
But she is so rude!

#45
-Don't you work at the hospital, too? -Yeah.

#46
-Don't you work at the hospital, too? -Yeah.

#47
I actually just got off a double shift, that's why I look so gross.

#48
I actually just got off a double shift, that's why I look so gross.

#49
-You don't. And you know what? You don't even think you look gross.

#50
-You don't. And you know what? You don't even think you look gross.

#51
You're one of those girls who uses the self-deprecating thing as a defence mechanism,

#52
You're one of those girls who uses the self-deprecating thing as a defence mechanism,

#53
You're one of those girls who uses the self-deprecating thing as a defence mechanism,

#54
even though, without looking, you can tell right now how many guys are checking you out. -OK, five. -No.

#55
even though, without looking, you can tell right now how many guys are checking you out. -OK, five. -No.

#56
Actually, it's four. The guy in the mullet, he's checking me out.

#57
Actually, it's four. The guy in the mullet, he's checking me out.

#58
I let him buy my last two drinks. (LAUGHS)

#59
I let him buy my last two drinks. (LAUGHS)

#60
-Thanks again, cowboy! (GIGGLES)

#61
-Thanks again, cowboy! (GIGGLES)

#62
(Back off!)

#63
(Back off!)

#64
-You're just gonna keep on asking her? -If you love somebody, you gotta be willing to break their spirit.

#65
-You're just gonna keep on asking her? -If you love somebody, you gotta be willing to break their spirit.

#66
-Here you go, fellas. (BOTH) Thank you, Jenny.

#67
-Here you go, fellas. (BOTH) Thank you, Jenny.

#68
-You're welcome. -Yoooooooo! Check out these fries!

#69
That girl is so in to me. -Please! She's crushing on the brother.

#70
That girl is so in to me. -Please! She's crushing on the brother.

#71
-Cos you're black? -Let's get one thing straight.

#72
-Cos you're black? -Let's get one thing straight.

#73
This has nothing to do with me being black, this has something to do with me being smooth...

#74
This has nothing to do with me being black, this has something to do with me being smooth...

#75
(LAUGHS)

#76
(LAUGHS)

#77
-Oh. Here's a towel. And here are your shakes.

#78
-Oh. Here's a towel. And here are your shakes.

#79
-Thank you, Jenny. Hey, wait, Jenny. What flavour do you usually go for?

#80
-Thank you, Jenny. Hey, wait, Jenny. What flavour do you usually go for?

#81
Do you like chocolate or vanilla?

#82
Do you like chocolate or vanilla?

#83
-I'm a vanilla girl. I'll go get you some more towels.

#84
-I'm a vanilla girl. I'll go get you some more towels.

#85
-Go ahead and say it.

#86
(SINGS) She got jungle fever! -She got jungle fever!

#87
(SINGS) She got jungle fever! -She got jungle fever!

#88
(SINGS) She got jungle fever! -She got jungle fever!

#89
-I had so much fun tonight. I hope I didn't talk about myself too much.

#90
-I had so much fun tonight. I hope I didn't talk about myself too much.

#91
-I said I wanted to know everything about you, and now I do.

#92
-I said I wanted to know everything about you, and now I do.

#93
-I said I wanted to know everything about you, and now I do.

#94
So, listen, I'd like to take you out tomorrow night.

#95
So, listen, I'd like to take you out tomorrow night.

#96
I don't want to seem like I'm rushing things, but -

#97
-See you tomorrow.

#98
(Oh, my God!)

#99
(Oh, my God!)

#100
What?

#101
-I'm just not big on public displays of affection, that's all. (CAR HORN)

#102
-I'm just not big on public displays of affection, that's all. (CAR HORN)

#103
-I'm just not big on public displays of affection, that's all. (CAR HORN)

#104
-Hit it! -Woo-hoo!

#105
-Carla Espinosa, will you marry me?

#106
-Carla Espinosa, will you marry me?

#107
-Oh, my God!

#108
-Oh, my God!

#109
-Come on, citizens! Let me hear ya!

#110
-Come on, citizens! Let me hear ya!

#111
Honk in the name of love!

#112
Honk in the name of love!

#113
(HONKING)

#114
Honk for love! Honk for love!

#115
Honk for love! Honk for love!

#116
# I can't do this on my own

#117
# I can't do this on my own

#118
# No, I know, I am no superman

#119
# No, I know, I am no superman

#120
# I am no superman #

#121
'I've gotta say, life's pretty good.'

#122
'I've hit my stride as a doctor, all my patients are doing well,

#123
'I've hit my stride as a doctor, all my patients are doing well,

#124
and I've figured out, that even though they're uncomfortable, medium scrubs have an effect on the ladies.'

#125
and I've figured out, that even though they're uncomfortable, medium scrubs have an effect on the ladies.'

#126
and I've figured out, that even though they're uncomfortable, medium scrubs have an effect on the ladies.'

#127
'Everything is great. I feel like, for the first time since I started here, I have no stories to tell.'

#128
'Everything is great. I feel like, for the first time since I started here, I have no stories to tell.'

#129
'Everything is great. I feel like, for the first time since I started here, I have no stories to tell.'

#130
'Sometimes you know it's gonna be a -crappy day from the moment you wake up. Today was one of those days.'

#131
'Sometimes you know it's gonna be a -crappy day from the moment you wake up. Today was one of those days.'

#132
'See, I have an appointment to see my shrink, and it feels like there's a little friction between us.'

#133
'See, I have an appointment to see my shrink, and it feels like there's a little friction between us.'

#134
'See, I have an appointment to see my shrink, and it feels like there's a little friction between us.'

#135
-You will not beat me. -Listen, "Doctor",

#136
-You will not beat me. -Listen, "Doctor",

#137
while we're on me, just for a second,

#138
my very pregnant ex-wife would like me to take a couple of days off

#139
my very pregnant ex-wife would like me to take a couple of days off

#140
and travel to her mother's so we can reconnect as a family.

#141
and travel to her mother's so we can reconnect as a family.

#142
-And I assume that you told her to blow it out her ass. -You get me!

#143
-And I assume that you told her to blow it out her ass. -You get me!

#144
Darn it, you do!

#145
Darn it, you do!

#146
-Yes. We're like two peas in a horrible horrible pod.

#147
-Yes. We're like two peas in a horrible horrible pod.

#148
-I have invited a couple of my friends over while she's gone,

#149
-I have invited a couple of my friends over while she's gone,

#150
we'll have some beers, watch the game, and I was wondering if you -

#151
we'll have some beers, watch the game, and I was wondering if you -

#152
-I'm not your friend! -They're not, either.

#153
-I'm not your friend! -They're not, either.

#154
-So, how's your rage going lately?

#155
-So, how's your rage going lately?

#156
(SCREAMS / SCREAM ECHOES)

#157
Better!

#158
Better!

#159
-OK. The next time you feel the anger welling up in your meaty chest -

#160
-OK. The next time you feel the anger welling up in your meaty chest -

#161
-Give it to me. -Take a deep breath

#162
-Give it to me. -Take a deep breath

#163
and count to ten before you react. Could you do that, Perry?

#164
and count to ten before you react. Could you do that, Perry?

#165
-For the record, I'm not a child. OK?

#166
-For the record, I'm not a child. OK?

#167
-Dr Cox? (GROWLS) I just wanted to tell you, er...

#168
-Dr Cox? (GROWLS) I just wanted to tell you, er...

#169
-One, two,... Ten.

#170
-One, two,... Ten.

#171
Finish the sentence in two seconds or start running.

#172
(WHIMPERS) Oh, dear God, you're actually frozen with fear.

#173
(WHIMPERS) Oh, dear God, you're actually frozen with fear.

#174
(WHIMPERS) Oh, dear God, you're actually frozen with fear.

#175
Don't worry, I'm going to talk you through this. I want you to relax,

#176
Don't worry, I'm going to talk you through this. I want you to relax,

#177
take a big breath, and now...

#178
take a big breath, and now...

#179
(WHISTLES) ..get out of here! You go, go, go, go, go!

#180
-Morning, Dr Cox! 'Gladys! Ginger! -Tiffany! Cheryl! Betsy! That's new!'

#181
-Morning, Dr Cox! 'Gladys! Ginger! -Tiffany! Cheryl! Betsy! That's new!'

#182
Betsy, good morning. Let's make with the chop chop.

#183
Betsy, good morning. Let's make with the chop chop.

#184
-You used Betsy six months ago. -I don't care!

#185
-You used Betsy six months ago. -I don't care!

#186
'Dammit!' -Perry! Hi, how are you? Etcetera.

#187
'Dammit!' -Perry! Hi, how are you? Etcetera.

#188
I took out a new insurance policy and I need a physical.

#189
I took out a new insurance policy and I need a physical.

#190
-The day I cradle your dusty old twig and berries

#191
-The day I cradle your dusty old twig and berries

#192
and get a whiff of your halitosis while you turn your head and cough,

#193
and get a whiff of your halitosis while you turn your head and cough,

#194
is the day I'm on the roof singing, "I Believe I Can Fly." -Great! See you two-ish.

#195
is the day I'm on the roof singing, "I Believe I Can Fly." -Great! See you two-ish.

#196
-You should just do it. -Really?

#197
-You should just do it. -Really?

#198
-It'd only take 15 minutes, and it wouldn't hurt to be in good with him.

#199
-It'd only take 15 minutes, and it wouldn't hurt to be in good with him.

#200
-You're giving me advice? -Yes. Feel free to return the favour. -Fair enough.

#201
-You're giving me advice? -Yes. Feel free to return the favour. -Fair enough.

#202
Try this on for size. No matter where you go in life,

#203
Try this on for size. No matter where you go in life,

#204
always keep an eye out for Johnny, the-tackling-Alzheimer's-patient.

#205
always keep an eye out for Johnny, the-tackling-Alzheimer's-patient.

#206
-What's that supposed to mean? -Who am I?!

#207
-What's that supposed to mean? -Who am I?!

#208
Mm-hmm.

#209
Just run one of the other nurses down here with some bedpans, please.

#210
Just run one of the other nurses down here with some bedpans, please.

#211
-"Why can't you do it?" -Cos I've been here 23 years and my feet hurt.

#212
-"Why can't you do it?" -Cos I've been here 23 years and my feet hurt.

#213
-"Thanks a lot(!)"

#214
-I am so excited about this doctor that I just met. He's nice, humble.

#215
-I am so excited about this doctor that I just met. He's nice, humble.

#216
Most doctors are so self-centred.

#217
Most doctors are so self-centred.

#218
-Hmm. I know exactly what you mean. Yesterday I was - -He's so cute, too!

#219
-Hmm. I know exactly what you mean. Yesterday I was - -He's so cute, too!

#220
-Hey, fresh bedpans, here. Get 'em before they're hot. Dr Reid!

#221
-Hey, fresh bedpans, here. Get 'em before they're hot. Dr Reid!

#222
-Hey, nurse.

#223
-Hey, nurse.

#224
Erm, Paul.

#225
-It's Paul Flowers, actually.

#226
-It's Paul Flowers, actually.

#227
-"Flowers"? -Yep.

#228
Up you go.

#229
Up you go.

#230
Marry me.

#231
Marry me.

#232
-Still thinking. -OK.

#233
I have finally figured out what's bothering you, though. -Really? -Yep.

#234
I have finally figured out what's bothering you, though. -Really? -Yep.

#235
You think I haven't played the field enough.

#236
You think I haven't played the field enough.

#237
I want you to know that I have had a long, productive playing career,

#238
I want you to know that I have had a long, productive playing career,

#239
over which time I have slept with many many women.

#240
over which time I have slept with many many women.

#241
And by "many, many women" I mean, three.

#242
And by "many, many women" I mean, three.

#243
Take away two, equals one, and that's you.

#244
Take away two, equals one, and that's you.

#245
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Marry me? No.

#246
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Marry me? No.

#247
-I wanna see you guys at my place. Even you, Zeltzer.

#248
-I wanna see you guys at my place. Even you, Zeltzer.

#249
Get there 7:30. We're gonna have food, booze, the whole nine yards.

#250
Get there 7:30. We're gonna have food, booze, the whole nine yards.

#251
-Will there be prostitutes? -No!

#252
-Will there be prostitutes? -No!

#253
-Oh, er, good.

#254
-Oh, er, good.

#255
'It's just a physical. You can be -cordial.' What do ya say, Bob?

#256
'It's just a physical. You can be -cordial.' What do ya say, Bob?

#257
How about we do just like you do with Enid - close our eyes,

#258
How about we do just like you do with Enid - close our eyes,

#259
pretend we're with someone else, and be done before Leno starts?

#260
pretend we're with someone else, and be done before Leno starts?

#261
-Save the racket for the tennis court.

#262
-Save the racket for the tennis court.

#263
I have taken the liberty of filling out the form,

#264
I have taken the liberty of filling out the form,

#265
just sign right below where it says "Fit as a 26-year-old."

#266
just sign right below where it says "Fit as a 26-year-old."

#267
-You're not suggesting that I rubber-stamp your physical, are you?

#268
-You're not suggesting that I rubber-stamp your physical, are you?

#269
-Just sign the damn form!

#270
-Just sign the damn form!

#271
-Or, you could take your shirt off and be done with this in minutes.

#272
-Or, you could take your shirt off and be done with this in minutes.

#273
I'm not gonna make it uncomfortable for you, come on, I'm a professional.

#274
I'm not gonna make it uncomfortable for you, come on, I'm a professional.

#275
-OK.

#276
-OK.

#277
(HUMS "THE STRIPPER")

#278
(HUMS "THE STRIPPER")

#279
Had to be done, Bob. Continue, handsome.

#280
Had to be done, Bob. Continue, handsome.

#281
-How's it going? -I just got my vertebrae fused.

#282
-How's it going? -I just got my vertebrae fused.

#283
-I got nothing.

#284
-I got nothing.

#285
-Hey! Hold that elevator!

#286
-Hey! Hold that elevator!

#287
-I'm pressing the button. It's not working.

#288
-Hold it! Hey!

#289
-Hold it! Hey!

#290
Hold it!

#291
Hold it!

#292
Morning, ma'am.

#293
-I can't move my head. -So what?

#294
-I can't move my head. -So what?

#295
-Carol, I cannot thank you enough.

#296
-Carol, I cannot thank you enough.

#297
(SNIFFS) Mmm. Is that Ben-Gay?

#298
(SNIFFS) Mmm. Is that Ben-Gay?

#299
-Come on, Elliot. So Paul's a male nurse, you're a big enough person not to let that bother you, right?

#300
-Come on, Elliot. So Paul's a male nurse, you're a big enough person not to let that bother you, right?

#301
-I'm dating a "murse".

#302
-I'm dating a "murse".

#303
-Better than a "mecretary". Or a "manicurist". No, that works.

#304
-Better than a "mecretary". Or a "manicurist". No, that works.

#305
-You guys are the only ones who know. And Nurse Roberts.

#306
-You guys are the only ones who know. And Nurse Roberts.

#307
-She's not that much of a gossip. Is she?

#308
-She's not that much of a gossip. Is she?

#309
(BOTH SAY IT KNOWINGLY) No.

#310
(BOTH SAY IT KNOWINGLY) No.

#311
-Dr Reid, Nurse Paul! Dr Reid, Nurse Paul! Dr Reid, Nurse Paul! Dr Reid, Nurse Paul!

#312
-Dr Reid, Nurse Paul! Dr Reid, Nurse Paul! Dr Reid, Nurse Paul! Dr Reid, Nurse Paul!

#313
Dr Reid, Nurse Paul! Dr Reid, Nurse Paul! Dr Reid, Nurse Paul!

#314
Dr Reid, Nurse Paul! Dr Reid, Nurse Paul! Dr Reid, Nurse Paul!

#315
Dr Reid, Nurse Paul. (PANTS)

#316
Dr Reid, Nurse Paul. (PANTS)

#317
-Oh, talking about 35 inches and about 70 pounds. Plus, he's twice as fast as the other guy.

#318
-Oh, talking about 35 inches and about 70 pounds. Plus, he's twice as fast as the other guy.

#319
-Oh, talking about 35 inches and about 70 pounds. Plus, he's twice as fast as the other guy.

#320
-Dr Reid, Nurse Paul, dating.

#321
-Dr Reid, Nurse Paul, dating.

#322
-Giant "Who cares?" So, I'll see you fellas tonight, what, around 7:30?

#323
-Giant "Who cares?" So, I'll see you fellas tonight, what, around 7:30?

#324
Don't be late, you won't get a seat! -I'll bring the Fluffernutters!

#325
Don't be late, you won't get a seat! -I'll bring the Fluffernutters!

#326
-Newbie, I'd invite you, unfortunately it's guys only.

#327
-Newbie, I'd invite you, unfortunately it's guys only.

#328
-You and your physical! Thanks to the high blood pressure you found,

#329
-You and your physical! Thanks to the high blood pressure you found,

#330
my insurance premium is gonna cost me an extra six grand this year

#331
my insurance premium is gonna cost me an extra six grand this year

#332
which my wife spent on a new chin!

#333
which my wife spent on a new chin!

#334
If I were you, I'd work every holiday from now until a few months after you're dead!

#335
If I were you, I'd work every holiday from now until a few months after you're dead!

#336
-Newbie, this is your fault! 'Where is he?'

#337
-Newbie, this is your fault! 'Where is he?'

#338
'Where is that little rat bastard?'

#339
-Oh. Hey, pal! (GROWLS)

#340
-Oh. Hey, pal! (GROWLS)

#341
-I'll always remember our time together. Gotta go!

#342
-I'll always remember our time together. Gotta go!

#343
-Marry me. -Still thinking.

#344
-Marry me. -Still thinking.

#345
-This is what you're afraid of, the typical surgeon,

#346
-This is what you're afraid of, the typical surgeon,

#347
a dumb arrogant frat-boy, whose behaviour is so disgusting,

#348
a dumb arrogant frat-boy, whose behaviour is so disgusting,

#349
it is embarrassing for a woman to be seen with him. No offence.

#350
it is embarrassing for a woman to be seen with him. No offence.

#351
-None taken. Gotta run. They're doing a breast reduction and I wanna stop it!

#352
-None taken. Gotta run. They're doing a breast reduction and I wanna stop it!

#353
You know what I'm talking about!

#354
You know what I'm talking about!

#355
-It's not The Todd. -It's gotta be The Todd.

#356
-Turk, will you stop? Yes, I've never been a big fan of surgeons.

#357
-Turk, will you stop? Yes, I've never been a big fan of surgeons.

#358
Yes, I worry about your maturity, I'm a worrier, it's what I do.

#359
Yes, I worry about your maturity, I'm a worrier, it's what I do.

#360
But you have got to stop trying to pinpoint what the reason is.

#361
But you have got to stop trying to pinpoint what the reason is.

#362
But you have got to stop trying to pinpoint what the reason is.

#363
-Cos there's so many of them, right? You don't like who I am, you don't like what I do.

#364
-Cos there's so many of them, right? You don't like who I am, you don't like what I do.

#365
-Come on. I like the way I have to stand up on my tiptoes to kiss you.

#366
-Come on. I like the way I have to stand up on my tiptoes to kiss you.

#367
-It's not enough.

#368
-It's not enough.

#369
-Hey, Elliot, I heard you got your nursing degree in the "male", nurse!

#370
-Hey, Elliot, I heard you got your nursing degree in the "male", nurse!

#371
Wazzaaaaap!

#372
Wazzaaaaap!

#373
-That's her.

#374
Don't look!

#375
Don't look!

#376
(COUGHS) Murse!

#377
(COUGHS) Murse!

#378
-Whoa, Doctor! Hey, I'm not that type of gal.

#379
-Shut up, Paul! You are a man! And I am a woman!

#380
-Shut up, Paul! You are a man! And I am a woman!

#381
-Are you OK?

#382
-Are you OK?

#383
-I got very drunk last night

#384
and I decided that I'm not giving up on you.

#385
and I decided that I'm not giving up on you.

#386
So, how'd you do with my counting exercise?

#387
So, how'd you do with my counting exercise?

#388
-I tried it and I thought it was stupid.

#389
-I tried it and I thought it was stupid.

#390
-That's it, we're done. -Whoa!

#391
-That's it, we're done. -Whoa!

#392
You're dumping me? -I hope we can remain friends(!)

#393
-Please don't take away the privilege of letting me pay you $200 an hour

#394
-Please don't take away the privilege of letting me pay you $200 an hour

#395
so that I can drag my ass in here and watch you nod(!)

#396
so that I can drag my ass in here and watch you nod(!)

#397
The only other place I can get it is from my Brett Favre bobble-head doll(!)

#398
The only other place I can get it is from my Brett Favre bobble-head doll(!)

#399
The only other place I can get it is from my Brett Favre bobble-head doll(!)

#400
-Fine. You wanna know what I really think?

#401
-Fine. You wanna know what I really think?

#402
Your problem is that you identify the good choice and then intentionally do the opposite.

#403
Your problem is that you identify the good choice and then intentionally do the opposite.

#404
You see, behind this boorish bravado of yours is a paralysing fear of letting anyone into your life.

#405
You see, behind this boorish bravado of yours is a paralysing fear of letting anyone into your life.

#406
You see, behind this boorish bravado of yours is a paralysing fear of letting anyone into your life.

#407
And it isn't because you weren't loved when you were a kid,

#408
And it isn't because you weren't loved when you were a kid,

#409
it's because you're so ego-centred that the love wasn't enough!

#410
it's because you're so ego-centred that the love wasn't enough!

#411
So, you pulled pigtails and you pushed the fat kids into the dirt

#412
So, you pulled pigtails and you pushed the fat kids into the dirt

#413
so no-one could ignore little Perry.

#414
so no-one could ignore little Perry.

#415
Well "Little Perry" is now 40 years old.

#416
Well "Little Perry" is now 40 years old.

#417
You're so invested in this neurotic narcissistic notion of yourself as "loner" that you can't quit.

#418
You're so invested in this neurotic narcissistic notion of yourself as "loner" that you can't quit.

#419
And you'll just keep dumping on everyone around you, until eventually,

#420
And you'll just keep dumping on everyone around you, until eventually,

#421
And you'll just keep dumping on everyone around you, until eventually,

#422
and please, trust me on this, there won't be anyone left.

#423
and please, trust me on this, there won't be anyone left.

#424
'There's a million reasons -a relationship can crash and burn.'

#425
'There's a million reasons -a relationship can crash and burn.'

#426
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooooo!

#427
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooooo!

#428
Gimme a break.

#429
'Whether it's because you don't have the stones to make it work,...'

#430
'Whether it's because you don't have the stones to make it work,...'

#431
-Sorry, I have to, er, cancel tonight.

#432
-Sorry, I have to, er, cancel tonight.

#433
'..or you just get sick and tired -of jumping through hoops.'

#434
'..or you just get sick and tired -of jumping through hoops.'

#435
-OK, you win. You don't have to worry about me asking you over and over any more.

#436
-OK, you win. You don't have to worry about me asking you over and over any more.

#437
'Eventually, everyone bails.'

#438
'Eventually, everyone bails.'

#439
(SINGS) Two bits.

#440
(SINGS) Two bits.

#441
-My favourite career counsellor(!) Do you have any more tips on how to climb down the ladder?

#442
-My favourite career counsellor(!) Do you have any more tips on how to climb down the ladder?

#443
-I've been thinking about how you're always blaming me for everything,

#444
-I've been thinking about how you're always blaming me for everything,

#445
and how you send a constant stream of crap my way, and I decided I need a break.

#446
and how you send a constant stream of crap my way, and I decided I need a break.

#447
and how you send a constant stream of crap my way, and I decided I need a break.

#448
-So, you came by to tell me you're a wuss?

#449
-No. I came over here to tell you that I traded with another resident and switched off your service.

#450
-No. I came over here to tell you that I traded with another resident and switched off your service.

#451
-No. I came over here to tell you that I traded with another resident and switched off your service.

#452
-Well, tears and hugs there, Katie(!)

#453
But unless you wanna come inside and give one of the fellas a lap dance,

#454
But unless you wanna come inside and give one of the fellas a lap dance,

#455
But unless you wanna come inside and give one of the fellas a lap dance,

#456
I'm afraid I gotta say sayonara, cos I got 20 guys in here and it's about to get nutty! All the best, baby.

#457
I'm afraid I gotta say sayonara, cos I got 20 guys in here and it's about to get nutty! All the best, baby.

#458
(TV PLAYS)

#459
(TV PLAYS)

#460
(TV STOPS)

#461
'Turns out, last night -got in my head. So, this morning,

#462
'Turns out, last night -got in my head. So, this morning,

#463
I swallowed my pride and asked Dr Gross to take me back.'

#464
I swallowed my pride and asked Dr Gross to take me back.'

#465
-I have a hammer in my desk.

#466
-I have a hammer in my desk.

#467
'It did not go well.'

#468
-Dr Cox? I was the one who switched with JD.

#469
-Dr Cox? I was the one who switched with JD.

#470
-Nervous Guy, how you feeling? -A little nervous.

#471
-Nervous Guy, how you feeling? -A little nervous.

#472
-Nervous Guy, how you feeling? -A little nervous.

#473
-That's OK. Don't worry, I'm gonna ease you in. Here's the deal.

#474
-That's OK. Don't worry, I'm gonna ease you in. Here's the deal.

#475
You have exactly eight seconds to find this patient's chart or you're through. -Oh, God! Chart?

#476
You have exactly eight seconds to find this patient's chart or you're through. -Oh, God! Chart?

#477
-You want me to look for it? -I got the chart right here.

#478
-You want me to look for it? -I got the chart right here.

#479
Cheer-up hug? -What?

#480
Cheer-up hug? -What?

#481
-When something made me sad, my mom would always have the maid give me a cheer-up hug.

#482
-When something made me sad, my mom would always have the maid give me a cheer-up hug.

#483
-When something made me sad, my mom would always have the maid give me a cheer-up hug.

#484
-Ahhh, further explaining your love of the Latino people.

#485
-Ahhh, further explaining your love of the Latino people.

#486
-Carla, whenever you need to talk...

#487
-Carla, whenever you need to talk...

#488
-I don't think Turk's being fair. He didn't get the answer he wanted...

#489
-I don't think Turk's being fair. He didn't get the answer he wanted...

#490
-What do you want?

#491
OK, wait. Are you kissing me because you want this to go somewhere,

#492
OK, wait. Are you kissing me because you want this to go somewhere,

#493
or because you feel bad about blowing me off yesterday?

#494
or because you feel bad about blowing me off yesterday?

#495
Actually, I don't care either way.

#496
Actually, I don't care either way.

#497
-I had to bail on Cox for a while. The guy sees a shrink every day, and he's still the biggest pain in my ass.

#498
-I had to bail on Cox for a while. The guy sees a shrink every day, and he's still the biggest pain in my ass.

#499
-Is he in group?

#500
-Is he in group?

#501
-Maybe it's not everybody else, maybe it's you.

#502
-Maybe it's not everybody else, maybe it's you.

#503
-Yeah. Good sharing. -I see your point.

#504
-Yeah. Good sharing. -I see your point.

#505
Anybody got anything else? -I got one. -Come here!

#506
Anybody got anything else? -I got one. -Come here!

#507
-I don't think he'd do well in group.

#508
-I don't think he'd do well in group.

#509
So, er, what's up with Carla?

#510
So, er, what's up with Carla?

#511
-I'm starting to think that if she really loved me I'd know by now.

#512
-I'm starting to think that if she really loved me I'd know by now.

#513
It's time to protect myself, so I don't get hurt any worse.

#514
It's time to protect myself, so I don't get hurt any worse.

#515
I don't wanna talk about it, though. -Sure.

#516
I don't wanna talk about it, though. -Sure.

#517
-Here you go, fellas.

#518
(BOTH) Thank you, Jenny. You're welcome!

#519
-Ahhh, eight strips of bacon!

#520
-Ahhh, eight strips of bacon!

#521
That girl is all about the J-Dizzle.

#522
That girl is all about the J-Dizzle.

#523
-Oh, yeah? -Oh, my God, it's pancake man!

#524
-Oh, yeah? -Oh, my God, it's pancake man!

#525
-That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

#526
-Keep it together, there, pee-pants.

#527
-Keep it together, there, pee-pants.

#528
You now have six seconds to find that soda you were holding for me.

#529
You now have six seconds to find that soda you were holding for me.

#530
(WHIMPERS) Has anyone seen a soda? -Oh, for the love of God!

#531
(WHIMPERS) Has anyone seen a soda? -Oh, for the love of God!

#532
(WHIMPERS) Has anyone seen a soda? -Oh, for the love of God!

#533
-What is it, there, Bobbo?

#534
-I'm sorry.

#535
-I'm sorry.

#536
-What did you say?

#537
-What did you say?

#538
-I spoke to my cardiologist, and he said if you hadn't caught my high blood-pressure,

#539
-I spoke to my cardiologist, and he said if you hadn't caught my high blood-pressure,

#540
and it had continued unchecked, it might have resulted in a mild case of... death.

#541
and it had continued unchecked, it might have resulted in a mild case of... death.

#542
and it had continued unchecked, it might have resulted in a mild case of... death.

#543
'Must... fight urge... -to rub it... in his face!'

#544
'Must... fight urge... -to rub it... in his face!'

#545
-Anyway, I owe you one.

#546
-Anyway, I owe you one.

#547
'Must... rub something... in...

#548
..someone's... face!'

#549
..someone's... face!'

#550
How's that coma going for ya, there, pal? 'Much better!'

#551
How's that coma going for ya, there, pal? 'Much better!'

#552
-I'll bet you never made out in there before.

#553
-I'll bet you never made out in there before.

#554
(ROARS WITH LAUGHTER)

#555
No, never! Come here.

#556
No, never! Come here.

#557
Nurse, I need... clean sheets right away to room one... thousand.

#558
Nurse, I need... clean sheets right away to room one... thousand.

#559
Nurse, I need... clean sheets right away to room one... thousand.

#560
-He's covering because she's embarrassed that she likes a nurse. And I really can't figure out why.

#561
-He's covering because she's embarrassed that she likes a nurse. And I really can't figure out why.

#562
-Well, that's because you're doing a woman's job, son. Have a good one.

#563
-Well, that's because you're doing a woman's job, son. Have a good one.

#564
-Great(!) Why did you do that?

#565
-What I do for a living, it doesn't make me feel like I'm any less of a man.

#566
-What I do for a living, it doesn't make me feel like I'm any less of a man.

#567
-What I do for a living, it doesn't make me feel like I'm any less of a man.

#568
Neither does my love of baking, or gardening,

#569
or the fact that I menstruate. -What?!

#570
or the fact that I menstruate. -What?!

#571
-Elliot, lighten up.

#572
-Elliot, lighten up.

#573
Stop worrying so much about what everybody else thinks.

#574
Stop worrying so much about what everybody else thinks.

#575
-Go ahead. I'll see you outside.

#576
-Go ahead. I'll see you outside.

#577
-OK.

#578
Boy, I gotta say, your wife is hotter than I ever imagined.

#579
Boy, I gotta say, your wife is hotter than I ever imagined.

#580
(GROWLS / MEOWS) -Hello, Perry.

#581
(GROWLS / MEOWS) -Hello, Perry.

#582
You're obviously trying to bully me, but you can't bully me because I don't fear you. Now, I'm leaving.

#583
You're obviously trying to bully me, but you can't bully me because I don't fear you. Now, I'm leaving.

#584
You're obviously trying to bully me, but you can't bully me because I don't fear you. Now, I'm leaving.

#585
-Kelso asked me to give him a physical, I did, he said, "Thanks. I owe you one."

#586
-Kelso asked me to give him a physical, I did, he said, "Thanks. I owe you one."

#587
-You actually made a decision that benefited your life personally and professionally?

#588
-You actually made a decision that benefited your life personally and professionally?

#589
-A resident kinda talked me into it.

#590
-A resident kinda talked me into it.

#591
-You're telling me that you took the advice of another human being?

#592
-You're telling me that you took the advice of another human being?

#593
It's a great moment for me.

#594
It's a great moment for me.

#595
-Congratulations. -Thank you.

#596
-Congratulations. -Thank you.

#597
And, Perry,

#598
And, Perry,

#599
if there's someone at that hell-hole of a hospital who you listen to,

#600
if there's someone at that hell-hole of a hospital who you listen to,

#601
you should do everything in your power to keep them around, that person is nothing short of a genius.

#602
you should do everything in your power to keep them around, that person is nothing short of a genius.

#603
# Everybody was kung-fu fighting

#604
# Everybody was kung-fu fighting

#605
# Nmm-nmm-nmm-nmm-nuh-nuh-nuh

#606
# Nmm-nmm-nmm-nmm-nuh-nuh-nuh

#607
# Those cats were fast as lighten... # (BANGING)

#608
# Those cats were fast as lighten... # (BANGING)

#609
(EERIE MUSIC)

#610
(EERIE MUSIC)

#611
"(PHONE RINGS)" -Bat Cave.

#612
-Hi. Yeah, I'm stuck in the elevator. -"Yeah."

#613
-Hi. Yeah, I'm stuck in the elevator. -"Yeah."

#614
I'm afraid it might be a while.

#615
I'm afraid it might be a while.

#616
-Because you did this! -"Aw, now,..."

#617
-Because you did this! -"Aw, now,..."

#618
..I think we both know you did this to yourself. Well, I'll let you go. -"(CONTINUOUS TONE)"

#619
..I think we both know you did this to yourself. Well, I'll let you go. -"(CONTINUOUS TONE)"

#620
Hello?

#621
Hello?

#622
-Hey, Laverne, have you seen Turk around?

#623
-Hey, Laverne, have you seen Turk around?

#624
-He's off today, honey. How come you don't know that?

#625
-I don't know.

#626
-I don't know.

#627
-Listen up! I appreciate solidarity,

#628
-Listen up! I appreciate solidarity,

#629
but I did not blow off Paul cos he's a nurse, so stop leaving bedpans in my locker, it makes me cry.

#630
but I did not blow off Paul cos he's a nurse, so stop leaving bedpans in my locker, it makes me cry.

#631
Paul and I are just different, OK? -Elliot, this is not about Paul.

#632
Paul and I are just different, OK? -Elliot, this is not about Paul.

#633
Paul and I are just different, OK? -Elliot, this is not about Paul.

#634
This is about you! This is about you not being able to commit,

#635
This is about you! This is about you not being able to commit,

#636
cos committing means saying goodbye to whatever fantasy of love you've concocted

#637
cos committing means saying goodbye to whatever fantasy of love you've concocted

#638
after seeing too many Meg Ryan movies!

#639
after seeing too many Meg Ryan movies!

#640
Men don't make everything better, they're only human!

#641
Don't punish him cos you never learned how to let someone else take care of you.

#642
Don't punish him cos you never learned how to let someone else take care of you.

#643
Don't punish him cos you never learned how to let someone else take care of you.

#644
He's not your father. He's not gonna just disappear.

#645
He's not your father. He's not gonna just disappear.

#646
And, as scary as it is, letting yourself be truly vulnerable,

#647
And, as scary as it is, letting yourself be truly vulnerable,

#648
what's even scarier is that you know you picked this man,

#649
what's even scarier is that you know you picked this man,

#650
and if you run away from him now, you'll be running away from being the kind of person you wanted to be.

#651
and if you run away from him now, you'll be running away from being the kind of person you wanted to be.

#652
-Carla, I... just met the guy!

#653
-Carla, I... just met the guy!

#654
-Carla, I... just met the guy!

#655
-Alright, here we go, baby.

#656
-Are you talking to your chilli dog? -What? Hey!

#657
-Are you talking to your chilli dog? -What? Hey!

#658
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Yeah, well,

#659
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Yeah, well,

#660
I find that they don't repeat on me as much if I'm real friendly to 'em.

#661
I find that they don't repeat on me as much if I'm real friendly to 'em.

#662
-What?

#663
-What?

#664
-Nothing, it's just weird seeing you out in the real world, you know, I feel kind of guilty.

#665
-Nothing, it's just weird seeing you out in the real world, you know, I feel kind of guilty.

#666
You're so nice to us, and we've never had a conversation.

#667
You're so nice to us, and we've never had a conversation.

#668
Instead, we act like school kids and argue over who we think you got a crush on. -It's totally you.

#669
Instead, we act like school kids and argue over who we think you got a crush on. -It's totally you.

#670
Instead, we act like school kids and argue over who we think you got a crush on. -It's totally you.

#671
-Wha...?

#672
-Vanilla over chocolate? Please!

#673
-Vanilla over chocolate? Please!

#674
-In the event of a water landing... -Yeah. Incoming.

#675
-In the event of a water landing... -Yeah. Incoming.

#676
-In the event of a water landing... -Yeah. Incoming.

#677
How are you doing?

#678
-Did you just climb down to torment me?

#679
-Did you just climb down to torment me?

#680
-Sometimes in life you gotta do what you gotta do.

#681
-Sometimes in life you gotta do what you gotta do.

#682
-Look, I promise you the "door open" button was not working.

#683
-Look, I promise you the "door open" button was not working.

#684
-It's OK. We're gonna work this out.

#685
Put your hands together like you're praying.

#686
Put your hands together like you're praying.

#687
-Oh, hey, Dr Cox! Good to see you!

#688
'What the hell! He's a decent kid. -Be a man and apologise to him, from the heart for once.'

#689
'What the hell! He's a decent kid. -Be a man and apologise to him, from the heart for once.'

#690
'What the hell! He's a decent kid. -Be a man and apologise to him, from the heart for once.'

#691
For God's sake, Lilly, stop being a wuss and come back to work with me! -Fine. -Good.

#692
For God's sake, Lilly, stop being a wuss and come back to work with me! -Fine. -Good.

#693
'Just give him a pat on the back, he's been wanting it since day one.'

#694
'Just give him a pat on the back, he's been wanting it since day one.'

#695
'Just give him a pat on the back, he's been wanting it since day one.'

#696
'Just do it!'

#697
'The second that Dr Cox patted me on -the shoulder, I thought about how he always shows up in the nick of time.'

#698
'The second that Dr Cox patted me on -the shoulder, I thought about how he always shows up in the nick of time.'

#699
'The second that Dr Cox patted me on -the shoulder, I thought about how he always shows up in the nick of time.'

#700
-Hey, I'll hang on to this! 'I guess, in the end, -everything comes down to timing.'

#701
-Hey, I'll hang on to this! 'I guess, in the end, -everything comes down to timing.'

#702
'Sometimes you just have one moment to seize it.'

#703
'Sometimes you just have one moment to seize it.'

#704
-Paul.

#705
I've been acting like an insecure idiot, but if you'll forgive me, I'd love to take you for dinner tonight.

#706
I've been acting like an insecure idiot, but if you'll forgive me, I'd love to take you for dinner tonight.

#707
I've been acting like an insecure idiot, but if you'll forgive me, I'd love to take you for dinner tonight.

#708
-Screw that. I'll cook for you.

#709
-Screw that. I'll cook for you.

#710
I've only got one apron, so, bring your own if you want to wear one.

#711
I've only got one apron, so, bring your own if you want to wear one.

#712
Hmmm!

#713
Hmmm!

#714
-Oh, please! You all wish you could bag a nurse.

#715
-Oh, please! You all wish you could bag a nurse.

#716
-She's right. -Shut up, Zeltzer! (You shut up.)

#717
-She's right. -Shut up, Zeltzer! (You shut up.)

#718
'And if your timing is good,

#719
and it works out for you, make sure you cherish it.'

#720
and it works out for you, make sure you cherish it.'

#721
and it works out for you, make sure you cherish it.'

#722
'Because bad timing can mess up everything.'

#723
-You wanna grab a cup of coffee? -I don't know.

#724
-You wanna grab a cup of coffee? -I don't know.

#725
-You wanna grab a cup of coffee? -I don't know.

#726
Er...

#727
-I'll let you talk to it before you drink it.

#728
-I'll let you talk to it before you drink it.

#729
-OK. I can get one cup of coffee. -One cup? -One cup. Sure.

#730
-OK. I can get one cup of coffee. -One cup? -One cup. Sure.

#731
(MOBILE RINGS) Oh, one second. Let me just answer this real quick.

#732
(MOBILE RINGS) Oh, one second. Let me just answer this real quick.

#733
(MOBILE RINGS) Oh, one second. Let me just answer this real quick.

#734
Hello? -"Ask me again."

#735
Er, sorry, but... I gotta go.

#736
Er, sorry, but... I gotta go.

#737
-What?

#738
-What?

#739
# She woke from a dream

#740
# She woke from a dream

#741
# Her head was on fire

#742
# Her head was on fire

#743
# Why was he so nervous?

#744
# Why was he so nervous?

#745
# He took her to the park

#746
# He took her to the park

#747
# She crossed her arms

#748
# She crossed her arms

#749
# And lowered her eyelids

#750
# And lowered her eyelids

#751
# Someday somebody is gonna ask you

#752
# Someday somebody is gonna ask you

#753
# A question that you should say yes to

#754
# A question that you should say yes to

#755
# Once in your life...

#756
# Once in your life...

#757
-Wha-hooo!

#758
# Maybe tonight -I've got a question for you...

#759
# Maybe tonight -I've got a question for you...

#760
-Ha-ha!

#761
-Ha-ha!

#762
# I've got a question for you #

#763
# I've got a question for you #

#764
-Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

#765
-Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

Season 2, Episode 15 — His Story

Combined Images