Scrubs

#1
'Maybe it's because spring is around the corner,

#2
but lately it feels like romance is in the air.'

#3
but lately it feels like romance is in the air.'

#4
How's that? -You closed your eyes way too early. And go on the left, girls dig it. -OK. Fashizel.

#5
How's that? -You closed your eyes way too early. And go on the left, girls dig it. -OK. Fashizel.

#6
How's that? -You closed your eyes way too early. And go on the left, girls dig it. -OK. Fashizel.

#7
Let's have it, girl.

#8
Let's have it, girl.

#9
-There's nothing in life that dog could've done to deserve that. -Hey, my man's single,

#10
-There's nothing in life that dog could've done to deserve that. -Hey, my man's single,

#11
he's just running drill to keep his stuff sharp. -Also, it'd be super-fantastic

#12
he's just running drill to keep his stuff sharp. -Also, it'd be super-fantastic

#13
he's just running drill to keep his stuff sharp. -Also, it'd be super-fantastic

#14
if you never mentioned this to anyone ever. -You know she'll talk! This is Carla! -I'm a gossip?! -Yeah!

#15
if you never mentioned this to anyone ever. -You know she'll talk! This is Carla! -I'm a gossip?! -Yeah!

#16
You gossip all the time. -Since when?-Since ever! -To who? 'Weird - -ever since they got engaged,

#17
You gossip all the time. -Since when?-Since ever! -To who? 'Weird - -ever since they got engaged,

#18
You gossip all the time. -Since when?-Since ever! -To who? 'Weird - -ever since they got engaged,

#19
Turk and Carla have argued constantly.'

#20
Turk and Carla have argued constantly.'

#21
You want some Kibble?

#22
'I guess I hoped that the longer you were a couple, the easier it got.'

#23
'I guess I hoped that the longer you were a couple, the easier it got.'

#24
-No noise. And the whole world gets it -

#25
-No noise. And the whole world gets it -

#26
you love your body. Put your damn shirt on, no-one's making a calendar here.

#27
you love your body. Put your damn shirt on, no-one's making a calendar here.

#28
Oh, be a sweetie and get me a juice? Thanks so much. (GROANS) -As much as it may seem like it,

#29
Oh, be a sweetie and get me a juice? Thanks so much. (GROANS) -As much as it may seem like it,

#30
Oh, be a sweetie and get me a juice? Thanks so much. (GROANS) -As much as it may seem like it,

#31
I feel desperately compelled to remind you that we are NOT in prison

#32
I feel desperately compelled to remind you that we are NOT in prison

#33
and I am just so not your bitch. -Watch your language in front of the baby. -You'll have to trust me

#34
and I am just so not your bitch. -Watch your language in front of the baby. -You'll have to trust me

#35
and I am just so not your bitch. -Watch your language in front of the baby. -You'll have to trust me

#36
on this - seeing as you're his mother, he'll hear that word early and often. Like... non-stop.

#37
on this - seeing as you're his mother, he'll hear that word early and often. Like... non-stop.

#38
on this - seeing as you're his mother, he'll hear that word early and often. Like... non-stop.

#39
'Maybe the truth is, it's easier -to be a new couple cos you can't see what's ahead of you.' -Tonight

#40
'Maybe the truth is, it's easier -to be a new couple cos you can't see what's ahead of you.' -Tonight

#41
'Maybe the truth is, it's easier -to be a new couple cos you can't see what's ahead of you.' -Tonight

#42
I'll make all your fantasiescome true. -I'd be happy just to have sex ABOVE the covers once. -No.

#43
I'll make all your fantasiescome true. -I'd be happy just to have sex ABOVE the covers once. -No.

#44
Now, follow my voice, to the bedroom, over here...!

#45
Now, follow my voice, to the bedroom, over here...!

#46
Now, follow my voice, to the bedroom, over here...!

#47
-Hm, you're in trouble tonight!

#48
Oh! Oh! Oh my God!

#49
Oh! Oh! Oh my God!

#50
-Don't take the blindfold off! I'll get a towelto stop the bleeding. 'In the end,

#51
-Don't take the blindfold off! I'll get a towelto stop the bleeding. 'In the end,

#52
the safest thing for a couple is to find a routine and stick with it.' -Ted,

#53
the safest thing for a couple is to find a routine and stick with it.' -Ted,

#54
the safest thing for a couple is to find a routine and stick with it.' -Ted,

#55
noticed how happy all the minions are lately? -I wishI was dead. -They love working here.

#56
noticed how happy all the minions are lately? -I wishI was dead. -They love working here.

#57
Good morning, sweetheart. -Euch...!

#58
Good morning, sweetheart. -Euch...!

#59
'It all makes me glad -I'm on my own. I don't think I'd have it any other -' Ladies...!

#60
'It all makes me glad -I'm on my own. I don't think I'd have it any other -' Ladies...!

#61
'It all makes me glad -I'm on my own. I don't think I'd have it any other -' Ladies...!

#62
Just window-shopping or would you like to try something on? -You the guy that makes out with dogs?! -A word?

#63
Just window-shopping or would you like to try something on? -You the guy that makes out with dogs?! -A word?

#64
Just window-shopping or would you like to try something on? -You the guy that makes out with dogs?! -A word?

#65
Is anybody else a doctor?

#66
# I can't do this all on my own

#67
# I can't do this all on my own

#68
# No, I know I'm no Superman

#69
# I'm no Superman #

#70
# I'm no Superman #

#71
-I need you to extubate the young fellow in 304

#72
-I need you to extubate the young fellow in 304

#73
and start an insulin drip on Mrs Adler for the third time this month -

#74
and start an insulin drip on Mrs Adler for the third time this month -

#75
God bless diabetics who still drink. Oh, and - (WHISTLES) - Lassie -

#76
God bless diabetics who still drink. Oh, and - (WHISTLES) - Lassie -

#77
in response to the bestiality rumours

#78
in response to the bestiality rumours

#79
circulating about you, I have decided to forego calling you by the usual girl's name

#80
circulating about you, I have decided to forego calling you by the usual girl's name

#81
and instead I will refer to you by whatever famous DOG I can think of.

#82
and instead I will refer to you by whatever famous DOG I can think of.

#83
I've gone with Lassie, because of course that satisfies the criteria

#84
of being both a girl and a dog's name,

#85
of being both a girl and a dog's name,

#86
thus helping you ease into the transition. -I was just running kissing drills. -Oh...!

#87
thus helping you ease into the transition. -I was just running kissing drills. -Oh...!

#88
That's completely normal.

#89
That's completely normal.

#90
-Don't bring that filth over here.

#91
-Don't bring that filth over here.

#92
-Dude. (TCW's back.)

#93
-Dude. (TCW's back.)

#94
'TCW was a horrible story.'

#95
'She was married for three weeks

#96
before her husband got in a car accident and became a vegetable.'

#97
before her husband got in a car accident and became a vegetable.'

#98
'He's been on life support for two years and since he was transferred here

#99
'He's been on life support for two years and since he was transferred here

#100
a month ago she's visited every Wednesday. Very, very sad.'

#101
a month ago she's visited every Wednesday. Very, very sad.'

#102
'Oh, yeah, and she's a babe. We call her Tasty Coma Wife, TCW.'

#103
'Oh, yeah, and she's a babe. We call her Tasty Coma Wife, TCW.'

#104
-How's he doing? -Y'know,

#105
-How's he doing? -Y'know,

#106
he's the same. How are you doing?

#107
he's the same. How are you doing?

#108
-I was just calculating how much time I needed to spend here

#109
-I was just calculating how much time I needed to spend here

#110
so I don't feel guilty all week. Now I need to double it,

#111
so I don't feel guilty all week. Now I need to double it,

#112
cos I can't believe I said that. -You can do whatever you want, Mrs Moyer. -Please - Jamie. -Jamie. OK.

#113
cos I can't believe I said that. -You can do whatever you want, Mrs Moyer. -Please - Jamie. -Jamie. OK.

#114
cos I can't believe I said that. -You can do whatever you want, Mrs Moyer. -Please - Jamie. -Jamie. OK.

#115
-You have something on your cheek. -Working in a hospital, you... -Yeah.-D'ya get it? -No, not yet.

#116
-You have something on your cheek. -Working in a hospital, you... -Yeah.-D'ya get it? -No, not yet.

#117
-You have something on your cheek. -Working in a hospital, you... -Yeah.-D'ya get it? -No, not yet.

#118
-How we doing today? -Oh. Excellent, sir. No-one going to hell here. -Super.

#119
-How we doing today? -Oh. Excellent, sir. No-one going to hell here. -Super.

#120
-Baby, you've always known about my sleep toots.

#121
-Baby, you've always known about my sleep toots.

#122
You'd imitate the sound they made, remember? (MAKES FARTING NOISE)

#123
You'd imitate the sound they made, remember? (MAKES FARTING NOISE)

#124
-I make Mr Roberts wear special air-tight boxer shorts.

#125
-I make Mr Roberts wear special air-tight boxer shorts.

#126
-I wrote the guest list for this conversation

#127
-I wrote the guest list for this conversation

#128
and just in case, if you wondered, you're not on it. As for you,

#129
and just in case, if you wondered, you're not on it. As for you,

#130
could you go one day without making a big deal outta everything? One damn day, woman! -Carla,

#131
could you go one day without making a big deal outta everything? One damn day, woman! -Carla,

#132
would you mind taking this young gentleman back to his room in Paediatrics?

#133
would you mind taking this young gentleman back to his room in Paediatrics?

#134
would you mind taking this young gentleman back to his room in Paediatrics?

#135
As a form of social protest, he chewed on and swallowed part of a Rolling Stones CD. Ralphie,

#136
As a form of social protest, he chewed on and swallowed part of a Rolling Stones CD. Ralphie,

#137
they sold out for goodonce they started doing Ford commercials. -Hm? -Hm-mm...

#138
they sold out for goodonce they started doing Ford commercials. -Hm? -Hm-mm...

#139
they sold out for goodonce they started doing Ford commercials. -Hm? -Hm-mm...

#140
-We'll... talk later. -Come on, Ralphie.

#141
-We'll... talk later. -Come on, Ralphie.

#142
-I had that inside of me. -What now?

#143
-I had that inside of me. -What now?

#144
-He's just making stuff up.

#145
-I swallowed that. My dad had to wait for me to go number two. The black doctor gave me $10

#146
-I swallowed that. My dad had to wait for me to go number two. The black doctor gave me $10

#147
-I swallowed that. My dad had to wait for me to go number two. The black doctor gave me $10

#148
to keep my mouth shut. (GASPS)

#149
-Oh, good show today...

#150
-Oh...!

#151
-Oh...!

#152
-Elliot! A blindfold - way to step it up, Miss Nasty.

#153
-Elliot! A blindfold - way to step it up, Miss Nasty.

#154
-You... told him what happened? -We were bonding. What're you eating?

#155
-You... told him what happened? -We were bonding. What're you eating?

#156
-Turkey-jerky. Protein, baby. Go for it.

#157
-Turkey-jerky. Protein, baby. Go for it.

#158
-No thanks. -Don't like jerky? -I never tried it. -Never tried...?! -It rocks. -I - -You'll love it. -See,

#159
-No thanks. -Don't like jerky? -I never tried it. -Never tried...?! -It rocks. -I - -You'll love it. -See,

#160
I thought about this and I'll pass. -Eight stitches and now you don't trust me? -Elliot -

#161
I thought about this and I'll pass. -Eight stitches and now you don't trust me? -Elliot -

#162
I thought about this and I'll pass. -Eight stitches and now you don't trust me? -Elliot -

#163
-And you wanted above-the-covers sex...

#164
-I feel your pain.

#165
'Luckily I'm a competent enough -doctor that I won't let myself get distracted thinking about Jamie.'

#166
'Luckily I'm a competent enough -doctor that I won't let myself get distracted thinking about Jamie.'

#167
'Luckily I'm a competent enough -doctor that I won't let myself get distracted thinking about Jamie.'

#168
-Can you hear my heart if it isn't in your ears? -You go to med school? -No - I -

#169
-Can you hear my heart if it isn't in your ears? -You go to med school? -No - I -

#170
-Can you hear my heart if it isn't in your ears? -You go to med school? -No - I -

#171
-No, you didn't. Thank you.

#172
'I'm in a rut. I just need someone to go out and get a beer with me.' -I can't tonight. -If I have

#173
'I'm in a rut. I just need someone to go out and get a beer with me.' -I can't tonight. -If I have

#174
'I'm in a rut. I just need someone to go out and get a beer with me.' -I can't tonight. -If I have

#175
more than one beer I'll most likely kill myself. (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)

#176
more than one beer I'll most likely kill myself. (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)

#177
-Can't. You seen Turk?

#178
-Can't. You seen Turk?

#179
-Ma-rried...!

#180
-Sorry, buddy, can't swing ittonight. -Come on, playa, just a few beers!

#181
-Sorry, buddy, can't swing ittonight. -Come on, playa, just a few beers!

#182
If we accidentally run into some skanky ho's, so be it. -I'll go. I need to blow off steam. Plus,

#183
If we accidentally run into some skanky ho's, so be it. -I'll go. I need to blow off steam. Plus,

#184
If we accidentally run into some skanky ho's, so be it. -I'll go. I need to blow off steam. Plus,

#185
the best way to meet skanky ho's is to already have a girl with you. -Not that I need any help. -Hell, no.

#186
the best way to meet skanky ho's is to already have a girl with you. -Not that I need any help. -Hell, no.

#187
the best way to meet skanky ho's is to already have a girl with you. -Not that I need any help. -Hell, no.

#188
-Oh... my God. I gotta tell you about THAT day.

#189
-Oh... my God. I gotta tell you about THAT day.

#190
-Oh... my God. I gotta tell you about THAT day.

#191
-I can't believe I've not named him yet.

#192
I've been calling him Monkey Face all day. -Jordan, I had this one patient -

#193
I've been calling him Monkey Face all day. -Jordan, I had this one patient -

#194
-He's got a huge boodgie in his nose.

#195
-He's got a huge boodgie in his nose.

#196
Run back to the hospital for one of those suction-y thingies? -If I'm not back in 20 minutes,

#197
Run back to the hospital for one of those suction-y thingies? -If I'm not back in 20 minutes,

#198
Run back to the hospital for one of those suction-y thingies? -If I'm not back in 20 minutes,

#199
don't worry, it simply means I drove by a prostitute on the way. -Oh, make sure it's a girl. -Ha-ha-uh!

#200
don't worry, it simply means I drove by a prostitute on the way. -Oh, make sure it's a girl. -Ha-ha-uh!

#201
don't worry, it simply means I drove by a prostitute on the way. -Oh, make sure it's a girl. -Ha-ha-uh!

#202
-Please don't do this.

#203
-Do what? -The drama queen thing. -The jerky incident is exactly what is wrong with our relationship,

#204
-Do what? -The drama queen thing. -The jerky incident is exactly what is wrong with our relationship,

#205
Paul. -Thank you.

#206
Paul. -Thank you.

#207
Ow!

#208
Every lunch someone hits me with a spit-ball.

#209
Every lunch someone hits me with a spit-ball.

#210
'I'm still not sure how I feel -about Paul and Elliot.' (WHISTLES)

#211
'I'm still not sure how I feel -about Paul and Elliot.' (WHISTLES)

#212
'Uh-oh.'

#213
'Uh-oh.'

#214
Nice day, huh? -You've always gotta have something to say, don't you?

#215
Nice day, huh? -You've always gotta have something to say, don't you?

#216
Old Nosey-Nelly, always gotta throw his two cents in. -O-K, I'm sorry

#217
Old Nosey-Nelly, always gotta throw his two cents in. -O-K, I'm sorry

#218
about the nice day thing. How can I make this right? -What,it's biscuit and gravy day? -Yeah.

#219
about the nice day thing. How can I make this right? -What,it's biscuit and gravy day? -Yeah.

#220
about the nice day thing. How can I make this right? -What,it's biscuit and gravy day? -Yeah.

#221
-Just give me one of them biscuits.

#222
-I thought you were ready.

#223
-So how does this whole wing man thing work? -Essentially

#224
-So how does this whole wing man thing work? -Essentially

#225
you have to think of yourself as Chum.

#226
The Chum lures attractive women closer to the boat. 'Mental note -

#227
The Chum lures attractive women closer to the boat. 'Mental note -

#228
The Boat could be a very cool new nickname.' -Hey, baby, would you like some of this?

#229
The Boat could be a very cool new nickname.' -Hey, baby, would you like some of this?

#230
The Boat could be a very cool new nickname.' -Hey, baby, would you like some of this?

#231
Look at that. Hmm...! -No, Jamie, that's a little... aggressive. Sorry. -Did you like her? -No, no,

#232
Look at that. Hmm...! -No, Jamie, that's a little... aggressive. Sorry. -Did you like her? -No, no,

#233
her ass was way too perfect.

#234
her ass was way too perfect.

#235
-Can't believe I'm actually having fun. -I'm glad!

#236
-Can't believe I'm actually having fun. -I'm glad!

#237
-So - Tasty Coma Wife, hm?

#238
-So - Tasty Coma Wife, hm?

#239
-Oh, yeah, sorry, I've heard some idiots call you that.

#240
-Oh, yeah, sorry, I've heard some idiots call you that.

#241
-I kinda like it. -I thought it up. -Did you?!

#242
-I kinda like it. -I thought it up. -Did you?!

#243
-Is this true? -Pff...

#244
Ralphie, I paid you ten dollars. -This is disgusting!

#245
Ralphie, I paid you ten dollars. -This is disgusting!

#246
-Why is it disgusting? -Because it was in my butt. -Ralphie, I want you to SHUT UP! -Would you wear it? -Baby,

#247
-Why is it disgusting? -Because it was in my butt. -Ralphie, I want you to SHUT UP! -Would you wear it? -Baby,

#248
-Why is it disgusting? -Because it was in my butt. -Ralphie, I want you to SHUT UP! -Would you wear it? -Baby,

#249
I've had this steam-cleaned three times. Not only would I wear it...

#250
I've had this steam-cleaned three times. Not only would I wear it...

#251
-What?

#252
-What?

#253
-It's fun to eat things!

#254
-It's fun to eat things!

#255
-Oh-ho-ho, Scooby...!

#256
-Oh-ho-ho, Scooby...!

#257
A married woman whose husband is in a coma?

#258
A married woman whose husband is in a coma?

#259
Can't tell you how many happy couples I know who got started that way.

#260
Can't tell you how many happy couples I know who got started that way.

#261
-Will you relax? We just got a beer. What you got there? -100 free booger-suckers.

#262
-Will you relax? We just got a beer. What you got there? -100 free booger-suckers.

#263
-Will you relax? We just got a beer. What you got there? -100 free booger-suckers.

#264
And you'll say nothing. Oh, and... Toto?

#265
And you'll say nothing. Oh, and... Toto?

#266
Please, PLEASE keep hanging out with her,

#267
because I'm really gonna enjoy watching this one bite you right on the ass

#268
because I'm really gonna enjoy watching this one bite you right on the ass

#269
and I good'n'guarantee ya - she will. (YELPS LIKE A DOG)

#270
and I good'n'guarantee ya - she will. (YELPS LIKE A DOG)

#271
'People in relationships -are always quick to dole out advice,

#272
'People in relationships -are always quick to dole out advice,

#273
though they're often the ones that are messed up.' -See ya. 'Whether considering breaking up

#274
though they're often the ones that are messed up.' -See ya. 'Whether considering breaking up

#275
over a Slim Jim,...

#276
..or having their stomach pumped.' -Ah...!

#277
..or having their stomach pumped.' -Ah...!

#278
'Or just trying -to get some attention.'

#279
'Or just trying -to get some attention.'

#280
(DOOR BELL RINGS) 'So I'm not gonna sweat it just because I made a new friend.'

#281
(DOOR BELL RINGS) 'So I'm not gonna sweat it just because I made a new friend.'

#282
(DOOR BELL RINGS) 'So I'm not gonna sweat it just because I made a new friend.'

#283
'I mean, what's the big deal?'

#284
-Hey.

#285
-Hey.

#286
-Hey.

#287
-May I come in?

#288
-May I come in?

#289
-He likes you. -He must smell MY dead dog. (LAUGHS) You still haven't asked me

#290
-He likes you. -He must smell MY dead dog. (LAUGHS) You still haven't asked me

#291
why I called the hospital, pretended to be your sister,

#292
why I called the hospital, pretended to be your sister,

#293
got your home address and showed up in the middle of the night. -Jamie, right now

#294
got your home address and showed up in the middle of the night. -Jamie, right now

#295
I'm sure you're a little confused. -Time for me to start my life over. I'd love to take you to dinner.

#296
I'm sure you're a little confused. -Time for me to start my life over. I'd love to take you to dinner.

#297
I'm sure you're a little confused. -Time for me to start my life over. I'd love to take you to dinner.

#298
'Holy crap!'

#299
-Jack wouldn't want my life to beover. -Jack? -My husband. -Mr Moyer.-Call him Jack. -I'd rather not. -OK,

#300
-Jack wouldn't want my life to beover. -Jack? -My husband. -Mr Moyer.-Call him Jack. -I'd rather not. -OK,

#301
-Jack wouldn't want my life to beover. -Jack? -My husband. -Mr Moyer.-Call him Jack. -I'd rather not. -OK,

#302
it's weird. But give it some thought? 'Course.

#303
it's weird. But give it some thought? 'Course.

#304
-Hey. -Hey. -Hey.

#305
-Hey. -Hey. -Hey.

#306
-Alright, I'll see ya. -Yeah.

#307
-Alright, I'll see ya. -Yeah.

#308
-Dude! Was that...

#309
-Dude! Was that...

#310
(STRANGULATED) Was that Tasty Coma Wife?

#311
-Yeah.

#312
-Yeah.

#313
'You'll figure out what to do. For God's sakes, you're The Boat!'

#314
'You'll figure out what to do. For God's sakes, you're The Boat!'

#315
-Here ya go. -Thanks, Jack. (SCREAMS)

#316
-Here ya go. -Thanks, Jack. (SCREAMS)

#317
-What?!

#318
-What?!

#319
-Cold chart. Brr...!

#320
'Good cover!' -Five letters, "Showing vulnerability, a blank in one's armour."

#321
'Good cover!' -Five letters, "Showing vulnerability, a blank in one's armour."

#322
'Good cover!' -Five letters, "Showing vulnerability, a blank in one's armour."

#323
-Chink.

#324
-What? -Chink!

#325
-What? -Chink!

#326
No, no, Franklyn, we were - we were doing a crossword puzzle

#327
No, no, Franklyn, we were - we were doing a crossword puzzle

#328
and...

#329
and...

#330
-I always suspected. -We all did.

#331
-I always suspected. -We all did.

#332
-Franklyn, no! -Well,... tough break.

#333
-Franklyn, no! -Well,... tough break.

#334
-OK, Miss Brady, we're gonna try to break up your kidney stone with lithotripsy.

#335
-OK, Miss Brady, we're gonna try to break up your kidney stone with lithotripsy.

#336
Meanwhile we'll give you something for the pain. -I can't take pain-killers.

#337
Meanwhile we'll give you something for the pain. -I can't take pain-killers.

#338
Justin's still breast-feeding. (CLICKS TONGUE) -Oh, like milk, do ya?

#339
Justin's still breast-feeding. (CLICKS TONGUE) -Oh, like milk, do ya?

#340
Why not get on your bike, go down the store and get some? 'I think -at a certain point

#341
Why not get on your bike, go down the store and get some? 'I think -at a certain point

#342
Why not get on your bike, go down the store and get some? 'I think -at a certain point

#343
breast-feeding becomes creepy.' -You are such a little cutie... -Mom,I'm trying to eat here! -But - -Ma!

#344
breast-feeding becomes creepy.' -You are such a little cutie... -Mom,I'm trying to eat here! -But - -Ma!

#345
breast-feeding becomes creepy.' -You are such a little cutie... -Mom,I'm trying to eat here! -But - -Ma!

#346
-Benjy. Come.

#347
-Benjy. Come.

#348
What is it with these mothers doting on their children?! My God,

#349
What is it with these mothers doting on their children?! My God,

#350
it's like nobody else even exists in the world any more!

#351
it's like nobody else even exists in the world any more!

#352
My mother never paid that much attention to me - -It doesn't show.

#353
My mother never paid that much attention to me - -It doesn't show.

#354
-Word to the wise there, Astro -

#355
-Word to the wise there, Astro -

#356
sarcasm does not sit well with the big dogs. So consider this a warning.

#357
sarcasm does not sit well with the big dogs. So consider this a warning.

#358
The next time I hear you mumble some snarky little passive/aggressive aside,

#359
The next time I hear you mumble some snarky little passive/aggressive aside,

#360
I'll look into your heart, pick out your greatest insecurity

#361
I'll look into your heart, pick out your greatest insecurity

#362
and shine the world's brightest spotlight on it. Now riddle me this, Fido -

#363
and shine the world's brightest spotlight on it. Now riddle me this, Fido -

#364
why does every Asian person passing us by in the hallway here

#365
why does every Asian person passing us by in the hallway here

#366
keep giving you the old stink-eye? -Aw, you're imagining things...

#367
keep giving you the old stink-eye? -Aw, you're imagining things...

#368
-Oh.

#369
-Oh.

#370
-Ow.

#371
It's been hard for me lately. I've no-one special in my life

#372
It's been hard for me lately. I've no-one special in my life

#373
It's been hard for me lately. I've no-one special in my life

#374
and I'm pretty much here or at home doing nothing... -That's rough.

#375
and I'm pretty much here or at home doing nothing... -That's rough.

#376
I'M IN A COMA! I've had an itch on my foot for eight months!

#377
I'M IN A COMA! I've had an itch on my foot for eight months!

#378
-What are you doing? -Nothing, it's a new... therapy.

#379
-What are you doing? -Nothing, it's a new... therapy.

#380
-JD, you'd trust me on something important to me? 'Course. See? That's what I want! Huh!

#381
-JD, you'd trust me on something important to me? 'Course. See? That's what I want! Huh!

#382
-JD, you'd trust me on something important to me? 'Course. See? That's what I want! Huh!

#383
-Elliot, we're talking about dried meat here!

#384
Why would you get in the middle of this? -What was I thinking? -That a straw? -No, a... pen.

#385
Why would you get in the middle of this? -What was I thinking? -That a straw? -No, a... pen.

#386
Why would you get in the middle of this? -What was I thinking? -That a straw? -No, a... pen.

#387
Pink scrubs.

#388
Pink scrubs.

#389
-Well, there it is, all cleaned up. Enjoy.

#390
-Well, there it is, all cleaned up. Enjoy.

#391
-No, why don't you keep it? In case you get hungry later.(LAUGHS) -Oh, you think that's funny,

#392
-No, why don't you keep it? In case you get hungry later.(LAUGHS) -Oh, you think that's funny,

#393
Ralphie? Pay me my ten dollars.

#394
Ralphie? Pay me my ten dollars.

#395
-Son, a hospital staff is like a melting pot.

#396
-Son, a hospital staff is like a melting pot.

#397
We all need to respect each other. Now, if you think that a specific ethnic group

#398
We all need to respect each other. Now, if you think that a specific ethnic group

#399
is loud, or lazy, or sneaky -

#400
is loud, or lazy, or sneaky -

#401
-Or ridiculously closed-minded and inappropriate -

#402
-Or ridiculously closed-minded and inappropriate -

#403
-Exactly. Just keep it to yourself, dammit!

#404
(CHUCKLES)

#405
(CHUCKLES)

#406
-What? -Oh, nothing, sir, just - I thought of something funny.

#407
-What? -Oh, nothing, sir, just - I thought of something funny.

#408
-Maybe what you should do instead is saddle up your mop

#409
-Maybe what you should do instead is saddle up your mop

#410
and head upstairs. Someone vomited in the second, third and fifth-floor hallways. (STIFLED LAUGH)

#411
and head upstairs. Someone vomited in the second, third and fifth-floor hallways. (STIFLED LAUGH)

#412
What? It's not my fault.

#413
Ralphie - let's ride.

#414
Ralphie - let's ride.

#415
Good work, buddy, here's your 20. So you can throw up whenever you want to? -Hell, yeah!

#416
Good work, buddy, here's your 20. So you can throw up whenever you want to? -Hell, yeah!

#417
Good work, buddy, here's your 20. So you can throw up whenever you want to? -Hell, yeah!

#418
-You should probably look into that.

#419
Y'know, right after you blow chunks in the elevator. -Hey, stranger!

#420
Y'know, right after you blow chunks in the elevator. -Hey, stranger!

#421
(SINGS) # Hot...! #

#422
'It's weird realising that you missed -someone you barely know.' (Hey - make me proud.)

#423
'It's weird realising that you missed -someone you barely know.' (Hey - make me proud.)

#424
(VOMITS) -Good God...!

#425
-I decidedto take Jamie out on a date. -Who? -Y'know - Tasty Coma Wife?

#426
-I decidedto take Jamie out on a date. -Who? -Y'know - Tasty Coma Wife?

#427
-No way! -Nice job there, Hooch. Give me a little prep time

#428
-No way! -Nice job there, Hooch. Give me a little prep time

#429
and I'll ring it so that the husband can come with ya. I'll have him

#430
and I'll ring it so that the husband can come with ya. I'll have him

#431
sitting up next to ya. Whaddaya say? -I'm free. I love Italian.-You be quiet! -I can't believe you!

#432
sitting up next to ya. Whaddaya say? -I'm free. I love Italian.-You be quiet! -I can't believe you!

#433
sitting up next to ya. Whaddaya say? -I'm free. I love Italian.-You be quiet! -I can't believe you!

#434
-She is so right, man. -What are youthinking?! -Oh, Rin-Tin-Tin-Tin-Tin - -Shut up, shut up

#435
-She is so right, man. -What are youthinking?! -Oh, Rin-Tin-Tin-Tin-Tin - -Shut up, shut up

#436
-She is so right, man. -What are youthinking?! -Oh, Rin-Tin-Tin-Tin-Tin - -Shut up, shut up

#437
and shut up! Who are you people to give me advice?!

#438
and shut up! Who are you people to give me advice?!

#439
All you do is just bitch about your relationships all day long!

#440
All you do is just bitch about your relationships all day long!

#441
Glare all you want, big dog, cos I'm not afraid of you. "Jordan's only paying attention

#442
Glare all you want, big dog, cos I'm not afraid of you. "Jordan's only paying attention

#443
to the baby!" That must be so hard for Dr Look-At-Me! Look-At-Me...! You two - wow,

#444
to the baby!" That must be so hard for Dr Look-At-Me! Look-At-Me...! You two - wow,

#445
to the baby!" That must be so hard for Dr Look-At-Me! Look-At-Me...! You two - wow,

#446
arguing since you got engaged? The first couple ever to do that. Can't be you're just scared...

#447
arguing since you got engaged? The first couple ever to do that. Can't be you're just scared...

#448
arguing since you got engaged? The first couple ever to do that. Can't be you're just scared...

#449
And you - let's just forget for one second that a month ago

#450
you told me you couldn't be in a relationship. For me, it's fun to watch you sabotage a relationship

#451
you told me you couldn't be in a relationship. For me, it's fun to watch you sabotage a relationship

#452
you told me you couldn't be in a relationship. For me, it's fun to watch you sabotage a relationship

#453
from the outside, really. The only thing that gives me comfort, guys,

#454
from the outside, really. The only thing that gives me comfort, guys,

#455
is that while I sit at home wishing I had someone to talk to,

#456
is that while I sit at home wishing I had someone to talk to,

#457
is knowing that none of you idiots realise how lucky you are!

#458
is knowing that none of you idiots realise how lucky you are!

#459
is knowing that none of you idiots realise how lucky you are!

#460
Argh!

#461
-Did I miss something good?

#462
-Did I miss something good?

#463
Thank you so much for dinner. -You're welcome.

#464
Thank you so much for dinner. -You're welcome.

#465
-But why tip $20 on a $30 bill? -Aw, nothing, I just love Chinese food.

#466
-But why tip $20 on a $30 bill? -Aw, nothing, I just love Chinese food.

#467
And the Asian people.

#468
What shall we do now?

#469
What shall we do now?

#470
-Kiss me.

#471
-Kiss me.

#472
-I could do that.

#473
-Hmm...! You went left. Very cool.

#474
-Hmm...! You went left. Very cool.

#475
'Thank you, Rowdy...!' It's cold. Wanna come back to my place?

#476
'Thank you, Rowdy...!' It's cold. Wanna come back to my place?

#477
-Uh,...

#478
-Uh,...

#479
..honestly, I think you might be moving a little fast for yourself.

#480
..honestly, I think you might be moving a little fast for yourself.

#481
There's part of me that's very angry I just said that.

#482
There's part of me that's very angry I just said that.

#483
-I'm so sick of being alone, y'know?

#484
-I'm so sick of being alone, y'know?

#485
-If you look me in the eyes and tell me you're really ready to start something right now -

#486
-If you look me in the eyes and tell me you're really ready to start something right now -

#487
-If you look me in the eyes and tell me you're really ready to start something right now -

#488
we won't even need a cab. I will, like, throw you over my shoulder and SPRINT the 12 miles to yours.

#489
we won't even need a cab. I will, like, throw you over my shoulder and SPRINT the 12 miles to yours.

#490
But...

#491
-I'll call you some time.

#492
-I'll call you some time.

#493
-I hope you do. 'Bye.

#494
-I hope you do. 'Bye.

#495
'I don't think people are meant -to be by themselves.'

#496
'I don't think people are meant -to be by themselves.'

#497
# I'm just all in blue

#498
# I'm just all in blue

#499
# And I'm remembering you

#500
# And I'm remembering you

#501
# And the dress you wore

#502
# And the dress you wore

#503
# When you broke my heart...

#504
# When you broke my heart...

#505
'That's why, if you actually -find someone you care about,...

#506
(SONG CONTINUING)

#507
(SONG CONTINUING)

#508
-..it's important to let go of the little things.'

#509
-..it's important to let go of the little things.'

#510
'Even if you can't let go all the way.'

#511
'Even if you can't let go all the way.'

#512
# Am I gonna be lonely -for the rest of my life?

#513
# Am I gonna be lonely -for the rest of my life?

#514
# Am I gonna be lonely -for the rest of my life?

#515
'Because nothing sucks -more than feeling all alone.'

#516
'No matter how many people are around.'

#517
'No matter how many people are around.'

#518
# So come around #

#519
Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

#520
Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

Season 2, Episode 18 — My T C W

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