Home » Scrubs » S05E01 — My Intern's Eyes

Scrubs

Season 5, Episode 1 — My Intern's Eyes

#1
Since my apartment's roof collapsed, I was living at a hotel.

#2
Since my apartment's roof collapsed, I was living at a hotel.

#3
But that's not the only thing that's changed around here.

#4
(ROCK MUSIC)

#5
(ROCK MUSIC)

#6
Now that I'm an attending, I'm a licensed badass.

#7
Now that I'm an attending, I'm a licensed badass.

#8
Elliot actually works at a different hospital.

#9
Elliot actually works at a different hospital.

#10
She's trying to lay low at first.

#11
And Turk and Carla are trying to make a baby.

#12
Here you go, baby.

#13
Here you go, baby.

#14
I know you love foreplay, but I only have five minutes,

#15
I know you love foreplay, but I only have five minutes,

#16
so I made you a sandwich.

#17
That's the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

#18
That's the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

#19
- Over here, Turk. - My bad, baby.

#20
- Over here, Turk. - My bad, baby.

#21
Yep! Life was different.

#22
Hey! Did you take my Porsche from the valet?

#23
Hey! Did you take my Porsche from the valet?

#24
This didn't feel like my scooter.

#25
Ow!

#26
Look, no harm done. Here are your driving glasses,

#27
Look, no harm done. Here are your driving glasses,

#28
here's your driving scarf and here your driving gloves.

#29
here's your driving scarf and here your driving gloves.

#30
Fine, here's your driving sock.

#31
Fine, here's your driving sock.

#32
I didn't care, because now that I'm an attending,

#33
I'd picked out a whole new look.

#34
I'd picked out a whole new look.

#35
- Good morning, colleague.

#36
- Good morning, colleague.

#37
- Oh, absolutely not.

#38
What, Tall, Dark and Scary?

#39
What, Tall, Dark and Scary?

#40
I can wear whatever the hell I...

#41
- What are you doing?

#42
- This is my new imaginary warning light.

#43
- This is my new imaginary warning light.

#44
Whenever it starts blinking, a situation has ten seconds

#45
to resolve itself

#46
before I flash white with rage and kill someone.

#47
One, two, three, four...

#48
One, two, three, four...

#49
...seven, eight, nine and ten.

#50
I had a little trouble getting my Baby Gap T-shirt off.

#51
I had a little trouble getting my Baby Gap T-shirt off.

#52
It'll happen.

#53
Ow.

#54
Ow.

#55
Argh!

#56
OK, you know, I'm gonna... I'm gonna go with "ow."

#57
OK, you know, I'm gonna... I'm gonna go with "ow."

#58
How depressing is it being you?

#59
Seriously.

#60
Seriously.

#61
Would you equate it more to being a life long Cub fan,

#62
or to say, being born without lips?

#63
- Born without lips? - I know a guy.

#64
- His house just burned down. - How sad.

#65
- His house just burned down. - How sad.

#66
He was smoking in bed. He shouldn't smoke, 'cause he looks ridiculous.

#67
"I have a snake face."

#68
Listen, today if you bother me, could you do it without being around me?

#69
Listen, today if you bother me, could you do it without being around me?

#70
I have new interns starting. Can you imagine what it's like

#71
I have new interns starting. Can you imagine what it's like

#72
to see this place through their eyes for the first time?

#73
to see this place through their eyes for the first time?

#74
(INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC)

#75
(INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC)

#76
(INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC)

#77
Something on your shirt, kid. Huh. Oh.

#78
(laughs) Classic!

#79
(laughs) Classic!

#80
Hey...

#81
Sparky, it's five dollars a minute to stare in public.

#82
Sparky, it's five dollars a minute to stare in public.

#83
It's free in private... (PURRS)

#84
It's free in private... (PURRS)

#85
You're gonna love it here, sport.

#86
You're gonna love it here, sport.

#87
Get out while you still can.

#88
Seriously, get out while you still can.

#89
Seriously, get out while you still can.

#90
Junior, have you seen Johnny?

#91
Junior, have you seen Johnny?

#92
You know, Alzheimer's patient, likes to tackle people?

#93
Uh-uh.

#94
Uh-uh.

#95
Has anybody seen Johnny, the tackling Alzheimer's patient?

#96
Hey! You must be Keith.

#97
Hey! You must be Keith.

#98
Don't look so nervous, buddy. I got your back.

#99
Who am I?

#100
Who am I?

#101
I found him.

#102
I found him.

#103
(THEME SONG)

#104
(THEME SONG)

#105
Someone's close enough for a hair-mussing.

#106
Someone's close enough for a hair-mussing.

#107
Dynamite bangs. Hey, guys. Follow me.

#108
Dynamite bangs. Hey, guys. Follow me.

#109
Listen, if you're having trouble finding a vein for an IV,

#110
please don't page me.

#111
please don't page me.

#112
If you're desperate, we're lucky. This is a city hospital,

#113
there are plenty of heroin addicts around

#114
there are plenty of heroin addicts around

#115
who are quite adept at this.

#116
Did you find a vein, there, Reverend Mayhem?

#117
Did you find a vein, there, Reverend Mayhem?

#118
- No problem. - ok, Good work, buddy.

#119
- No problem. - ok, Good work, buddy.

#120
Stay in school.

#121
- Mr Kellerman, how're you feeling? - Not great.

#122
- Mr Kellerman, how're you feeling? - Not great.

#123
Well, that's probably why you're here!

#124
Humour is a great icebreaker for patients, OK? Follow me.

#125
Humour is a great icebreaker for patients, OK? Follow me.

#126
Mr Kellerman has congestive heart failure.

#127
Mr Kellerman has congestive heart failure.

#128
Ok, Lisa, I want you to start him on diuretics, OK?

#129
Ok, Lisa, I want you to start him on diuretics, OK?

#130
That way we'll loosen up some of fluid around his lungs.

#131
The good news is

#132
he'll go home tomorrow.

#133
he'll go home tomorrow.

#134
The bad news is if he's not here,

#135
he won't move up the heart transplant list.

#136
he won't move up the heart transplant list.

#137
See, in medicine, there are lots of Catch-22s,

#138
See, in medicine, there are lots of Catch-22s,

#139
a phrase made famous, I believe, by an old fisherman

#140
who would stay out fishing

#141
who would stay out fishing

#142
until he caught... how many fish? Anybody? That's right, 22.

#143
until he caught... how many fish? Anybody? That's right, 22.

#144
- See, in 1492, Columbus... - Newbie!

#145
If you loved the sound of your very own voice any more,

#146
If you loved the sound of your very own voice any more,

#147
you would probably just sit in a little room all day

#148
you would probably just sit in a little room all day

#149
and sing to yourself.

#150
Oh, you guys can skedaddle.

#151
Oh, you guys can skedaddle.

#152
(Makes stupid noise and laughs)

#153
I love interns. Gentlemen a reminder:

#154
I love interns. Gentlemen a reminder:

#155
As attendings, you are expected to turn in your insurance paperwork

#156
As attendings, you are expected to turn in your insurance paperwork

#157
and your required urine sample by tomorrow.

#158
Bob, I'm not planning on doing any paperwork.

#159
Bob, I'm not planning on doing any paperwork.

#160
But I did go ahead and leave my urine

#161
sample on your driver's-side car door.

#162
sample on your driver's-side car door.

#163
Perry, Your lips, my ass, they should meet.

#164
Dorian, after four years, I can only hope you no longer following

#165
Dorian, after four years, I can only hope you no longer following

#166
in his footsteps.

#167
I turned in my paperwork already, but I'm gonna wait till tomorrow

#168
I turned in my paperwork already, but I'm gonna wait till tomorrow

#169
to turn in my urine sample out of respect to the fellas in the lab.

#170
to turn in my urine sample out of respect to the fellas in the lab.

#171
There's an asparagus issue.

#172
There's an asparagus issue.

#173
Now there's an answer that warrants a half-sincere pat on the shoulder.

#174
Now there's an answer that warrants a half-sincere pat on the shoulder.

#175
Thanks, Dr Kelso!

#176
you know, he said "half-sincere," I think he was full-sincere.

#177
you know, he said "half-sincere," I think he was full-sincere.

#178
Feel my shoulder, it's still warm.

#179
Lindsey, by you reaching the level of attending physician,

#180
you've somehow managed to become a member of a club that I belong to.

#181
you've somehow managed to become a member of a club that I belong to.

#182
Obviously there was no vote. Because if there had been,

#183
Obviously there was no vote. Because if there had been,

#184
you would still hear the sound of my voice screaming, "Nay, nay,

#185
you would still hear the sound of my voice screaming, "Nay, nay,

#186
oh, dear God, one thousand times nay!"

#187
oh, dear God, one thousand times nay!"

#188
That being said, it's my obligation to let you in on the organisation's

#189
That being said, it's my obligation to let you in on the organisation's

#190
one and only bylaw:

#191
one and only bylaw:

#192
We're men.

#193
We're men.

#194
Yes, we are.

#195
The women are men. The children are men. The men, of course, men!

#196
The women are men. The children are men. The men, of course, men!

#197
So, I went ahead and took the liberty of making you five man cards.

#198
So, I went ahead and took the liberty of making you five man cards.

#199
Hold them very dear, because every time you drop the ball, man-wise,

#200
Hold them very dear, because every time you drop the ball, man-wise,

#201
I'm going to take one from you.

#202
I'm going to take one from you.

#203
I don't need your approval or your stupid man cards.

#204
I don't need your approval or your stupid man cards.

#205
Although the lettering is darling. Have you ever done calligraphy?

#206
Although the lettering is darling. Have you ever done calligraphy?

#207
- Thank you.

#208
- Damn it!

#209
That night, since we were low on cash, Turk snuck me into the movies.

#210
That night, since we were low on cash, Turk snuck me into the movies.

#211
One, please!

#212
One, please!

#213
Afterwards we talked about my living arrangements.

#214
- Are you sure about this? - You shouldn't stay in a hotel.

#215
- Are you sure about this? - You shouldn't stay in a hotel.

#216
So, why don't you just stay here until you find a place.

#217
Carla was pretty psyched to get rid of me. Are you gonna tell her?

#218
Carla was pretty psyched to get rid of me. Are you gonna tell her?

#219
I don't know. What do you think?

#220
Turk? Is that you?

#221
Turk? Is that you?

#222
- Yes. I'll be right in, baby.

#223
- Yes. I'll be right in, baby.

#224
- OK.

#225
Dude, you left your gym shorts in here!

#226
Look, I gotta sex her up. I'll be back as quick as I can,

#227
Look, I gotta sex her up. I'll be back as quick as I can,

#228
so, it'd be about a hour and a half.

#229
Wait, wait, wait! Could you just quickly scratch my nose?

#230
OK. OK. Don't zip me... up!

#231
OK. OK. Don't zip me... up!

#232
Turk! Turk!

#233
- I'm a little sick of the Turks. - Excuse me?

#234
- I'm a little sick of the Turks. - Excuse me?

#235
Not you, Omar. I love your people.

#236
I'm talking about their lovey-dovey crap.

#237
I'm talking about their lovey-dovey crap.

#238
Oh, Babe, I borrowed your backpack

#239
this morning and all my change fell out the bottom.

#240
this morning and all my change fell out the bottom.

#241
Maybe someone or something had to gnaw a hole in it

#242
to keep from suffocating.

#243
Maybe someone already apologised for that about a hundred times.

#244
Maybe someone already apologised for that about a hundred times.

#245
Well, maybe 100 wasn't enough, I don't know.

#246
- Absolutely no lovers' quarrels. - Damn it!

#247
- Absolutely no lovers' quarrels. - Damn it!

#248
Elliot, by the way, what are you doing here?

#249
Elliot, by the way, what are you doing here?

#250
Oh, she hasn't talked to anybody at her new hospital yet.

#251
- How did this become about me? - The Turks are sneaky.

#252
- How did this become about me? - The Turks are sneaky.

#253
Not you guys. I think Omar took my pudding.

#254
Hey, Keith! Can I get your pudding?

#255
Interns.

#256
Interns.

#257
Elliot, You should be excited about meeting people over there.

#258
You could totally reinvent yourself.

#259
You could totally reinvent yourself.

#260
You're right!

#261
I'm gonna tell them I am the most perfect doctor ever

#262
I'm gonna tell them I am the most perfect doctor ever

#263
who never needs anyone's help with anything!

#264
That'll end well. Dude!

#265
This guy's unbelievable!

#266
This guy's unbelievable!

#267
OK guys, for some reason, Mr Kellerman's fluid situation

#268
OK guys, for some reason, Mr Kellerman's fluid situation

#269
isn't getting any better. I think he should be more aggressive.

#270
isn't getting any better. I think he should be more aggressive.

#271
Keith?

#272
Why don't you go get a Lasix drip.

#273
Why don't you go get a Lasix drip.

#274
Other way, Keith!

#275
Ahh, Jason, when you're filling out a female patient's exam report,

#276
Ahh, Jason, when you're filling out a female patient's exam report,

#277
her breasts can be "healthy" or "unhealthy,"

#278
never "bangin' double-Ds."

#279
never "bangin' double-Ds."

#280
There's so much paperwork.

#281
There's so much paperwork.

#282
My dad was a veterinarian, and he never had to do any.

#283
Sometimes I wish this place were more like a horse hospital.

#284
Sometimes I wish this place were more like a horse hospital.

#285
I'm sorry, Mr Larson, but I do not like the look of that leg.

#286
I'm sorry, Mr Larson, but I do not like the look of that leg.

#287
We would have better hours.

#288
All right, gang, get out of here.

#289
All right, gang, get out of here.

#290
Hey, everybody? Great work today.

#291
Hey, everybody? Great work today.

#292
How do you bother someone without being around them?

#293
How do you bother someone without being around them?

#294
That is the question.

#295
(PHOTOCOPIER WHIRS)

#296
Dorian, I'm paying you to work, not stand around acting like the Fonz.

#297
Dorian, I'm paying you to work, not stand around acting like the Fonz.

#298
Perfect.

#299
Perfect.

#300
Being Turk's secret roommate was going great...

#301
Being Turk's secret roommate was going great...

#302
(KNOCK AT DOOR) ..until now.

#303
Turk? I'm leaving for work.

#304
Turk? I'm leaving for work.

#305
Ok, You've been working on your Turk impression since college.

#306
Time to shine!

#307
Time to shine!

#308
- Turk? - Baby, I'll be thinking about

#309
your lovelies and whatnot

#310
until the second I see you, but right now, I'm doing my business.

#311
until the second I see you, but right now, I'm doing my business.

#312
Don't forget to use the Glade!

#313
Don't forget to use the Glade!

#314
Dude! That's the best it's ever sounded!

#315
Dude! That's the best it's ever sounded!

#316
- I thought she was gone? - Nah, she came back for a quickie.

#317
All this baby stuff man, I feel like she rushed me into it.

#318
All this baby stuff man, I feel like she rushed me into it.

#319
Tell you the truth, I'm not even sure I'm ready.

#320
Tell you the truth, I'm not even sure I'm ready.

#321
Well, you better get ready, she's been off the pill for like a week.

#322
What have you done?

#323
Think she'll be mad?

#324
Dr Reid? Need some help?

#325
Dr Reid? Need some help?

#326
I don't need anyone's help. Thank you.

#327
Stop running!

#328
Stop running!

#329
Doctor, do you know where the Foley caths are?

#330
Doctor, do you know where the Foley caths are?

#331
Sir, I know where everything is.

#332
Be right back.

#333
Be right back.

#334
Stupid coffee robot!

#335
Stupid coffee robot!

#336
Frick!

#337
Don't sweat it kid. I used to hide here when I worked at this place.

#338
I'm on a fellowship now. Foley cath, please.

#339
I'm on a fellowship now. Foley cath, please.

#340
Thanks.

#341
Thanks. Could you also grab a number six needle?

#342
Thanks. Could you also grab a number six needle?

#343
Frick fricky frick frick!

#344
Nice ass, grandma!

#345
Nice ass, grandma!

#346
(screams)

#347
(screams)

#348
That screaming patient would have to wait. I had bigger problems.

#349
That screaming patient would have to wait. I had bigger problems.

#350
Hey, Keith! I just called upstairs to see how Mr Kellerman was doing.

#351
Hey, Keith! I just called upstairs to see how Mr Kellerman was doing.

#352
And get this: The nurse told me you never even started him

#353
And get this: The nurse told me you never even started him

#354
on a Lasix drip.

#355
And Lisa! Imagine my surprise when she told me you never even increased

#356
And Lisa! Imagine my surprise when she told me you never even increased

#357
his diuretic in the first place! I'm forced to ask,

#358
his diuretic in the first place! I'm forced to ask,

#359
are you people trained killers?

#360
Say something, Keith!

#361
Say something, Keith!

#362
I...

#363
Dr Dorian, if he gets bad enough do we have to put him on inotropes,

#364
Dr Dorian, if he gets bad enough do we have to put him on inotropes,

#365
he'll jump to the top of the transplant list and get a new heart.

#366
he'll jump to the top of the transplant list and get a new heart.

#367
They're messing up on purpose?

#368
They're messing up on purpose?

#369
Who told you guys to do this?

#370
There's a lot of ways to get caught.

#371
There's a lot of ways to get caught.

#372
Sometimes you get caught because

#373
you couldn't slip your wife her pill last night,

#374
you couldn't slip your wife her pill last night,

#375
so you had to feed her one of your special homemade brownies.

#376
so you had to feed her one of your special homemade brownies.

#377
- What's that? - Oh, that?

#378
That's a tiny marshmallow with writing on it.

#379
That's a tiny marshmallow with writing on it.

#380
Still, if you don't panic, you can get away with it.

#381
Just... doing some inventory... sir.

#382
Just... doing some inventory... sir.

#383
That's why I'm glad you work here, sweetheart.

#384
Come on, guys. Who put you up to this?

#385
As for me, I caught my culprit

#386
As for me, I caught my culprit

#387
because he made the classic mistake

#388
of returning to the scene of the crime.

#389
of returning to the scene of the crime.

#390
All because I, too,

#391
had been eating Turk's special homemade brownies.

#392
had been eating Turk's special homemade brownies.

#393
Angie, my buddy down in the lab just told me that your urinalysis

#394
Angie, my buddy down in the lab just told me that your urinalysis

#395
came back positive for the birth control pill.

#396
So, I will be taking one of... these.

#397
So, I will be taking one of... these.

#398
- Thank you! - Damn it!

#399
- Thank you! - Damn it!

#400
Keith, look at me.

#401
Keith, look at me.

#402
Did he specifically tell you to disregard my orders?

#403
Oh, what the hell.

#404
I was doing this and mouthing "I'll kill you,"

#405
I was doing this and mouthing "I'll kill you,"

#406
which I will if you don't get out of here. Go on, get.

#407
which I will if you don't get out of here. Go on, get.

#408
I saw it first.

#409
I saw it first.

#410
Long day.

#411
Long day.

#412
Newbie, I did tell them to ignore you and let Mr Kellerman get worse.

#413
And you wanna know something?

#414
And you wanna know something?

#415
I'd do it again.

#416
- Bye, Elliot. - Look...

#417
I know, I agreed to have a baby, but you were offering sex at the time.

#418
I know, I agreed to have a baby, but you were offering sex at the time.

#419
I would have agreed to anything!

#420
I would have agreed to anything!

#421
Carla, no.

#422
No! She knows I can't eat without my strawberry milk.

#423
No! She knows I can't eat without my strawberry milk.

#424
You should've let her fork me!

#425
You should've let her fork me!

#426
I think that's how you got into trouble

#427
in the first place! What's up!

#428
in the first place! What's up!

#429
Euphemism five!

#430
His vocabulary's gotten so much better!

#431
His vocabulary's gotten so much better!

#432
- Elliot Why are you here?

#433
- I have to make Kelso think I still work here

#434
- I have to make Kelso think I still work here

#435
so he doesn't have me arrested

#436
for stealing medical supplies.

#437
By the by, what would you have done if you couldn't give Carla the pill?

#438
By the by, what would you have done if you couldn't give Carla the pill?

#439
- I'd have faked it.

#440
- I'd have faked it.

#441
- Guys can't fake it.

#442
Really? Does this sound familiar?

#443
"Oh, oh baby, we're going all night. No, wait, don't move!

#444
"Oh, oh baby, we're going all night. No, wait, don't move!

#445
- "Sorry."

#446
- "Sorry."

#447
- Way too familiar.

#448
- Hey. - Thank you.

#449
Know what I've been doing?

#450
I mean, besides listening to my Alanis Morissette CD

#451
to get pumped up to talk to you? Here.

#452
to get pumped up to talk to you? Here.

#453
- Yep. - I've been thinking about

#454
how completely ridiculous it is that you would take Mr Kellerman's

#455
how completely ridiculous it is that you would take Mr Kellerman's

#456
life into your hands

#457
- without talking to him. - Well, I did talk to him.

#458
- without talking to him. - Well, I did talk to him.

#459
He did.

#460
Patients who stay low on the heart transplant list die waiting for one.

#461
Patients who stay low on the heart transplant list die waiting for one.

#462
This way, he moves up to the top of the list. Come on..

#463
- Then why didn't you tell me?

#464
- Because You're an attending now.

#465
And that doesn't just mean a fat bank account, expensive new toys

#466
And that doesn't just mean a fat bank account, expensive new toys

#467
and a fancy lawyer on retainer for when you kill a prostitute.

#468
and a fancy lawyer on retainer for when you kill a prostitute.

#469
From now on, the buck stops with you.

#470
And I know that you have occasionally bent the rules in this dump

#471
And I know that you have occasionally bent the rules in this dump

#472
over the last couple of years but, you only did it because you knew

#473
over the last couple of years but, you only did it because you knew

#474
when the crap started raining down,

#475
it was damn sure gonna fall on my head.

#476
it was damn sure gonna fall on my head.

#477
But now, the only way for you to stay out of the trouble storm

#478
is for you to go by the book. And I got news for you on that front:

#479
is for you to go by the book. And I got news for you on that front:

#480
By-the-book attendings kill us up here.

#481
By-the-book attendings kill us up here.

#482
Look here, I couldn't tell you about Kellerman 'cause I don't know

#483
Look here, I couldn't tell you about Kellerman 'cause I don't know

#484
what type of attending you're gonna be.

#485
Allow me to thank you for giving me the opportunity to prove myself.

#486
Allow me to thank you for giving me the opportunity to prove myself.

#487
You know what? This is my last one. Here, take it.

#488
You know what? This is my last one. Here, take it.

#489
Whatever happens to this poor guy is on you.

#490
Whatever happens to this poor guy is on you.

#491
The next morning was not good.

#492
Carla was not talking to Turk,

#493
Carla was not talking to Turk,

#494
Elliot had dropped by to help not talk to Turk

#495
and I was sneaking out in my undies

#496
and I was sneaking out in my undies

#497
because my clothes were downstairs in the dryer.

#498
because my clothes were downstairs in the dryer.

#499
- J. D? - Morning, friends!

#500
Who's ready for some java?

#501
- Are you wearing boxers? - Yes, I am, Carla,

#502
because I know when Turk's sad, he likes me to come over in my boxers,

#503
because I know when Turk's sad, he likes me to come over in my boxers,

#504
because he likes to call me his "honky Adonis."

#505
because he likes to call me his "honky Adonis."

#506
And that's what friends do.

#507
They bought it? Are we that gay?

#508
They bought it? Are we that gay?

#509
- What's that? - Oh, that's my new driving sock.

#510
- What's that? - Oh, that's my new driving sock.

#511
You can borrow.

#512
Actually, J.D.'s been living here secretly.

#513
- Turk, why? - Because I Gotta those damn

#514
- Turk, why? - Because I Gotta those damn

#515
judgmental eyes off me!

#516
J.D. Didn't want to live here, I begged him.

#517
J.D. Didn't want to live here, I begged him.

#518
- Is that true? - I didn't say that.

#519
- J.D. Can do my voice. - Hey, It's getting good!

#520
- J.D. Can do my voice. - Hey, It's getting good!

#521
Well, thank you! I lost it.

#522
Oh, you three are ridiculous.

#523
Oh, you three are ridiculous.

#524
Hey, I'm just here to grab a ride to work.

#525
At a hospital where you don't actually work! And you?

#526
At a hospital where you don't actually work! And you?

#527
How am I supposed to tell you I'm not be ready to have a baby

#528
How am I supposed to tell you I'm not be ready to have a baby

#529
when you're so excited?

#530
And you secretly moving back in here?

#531
And you secretly moving back in here?

#532
Now, I really don't love being den mother to you three...

#533
Now, I really don't love being den mother to you three...

#534
Fine, It's like crack to me.

#535
Still, let me ask you something. Why are you three so afraid of moving on?

#536
Still, let me ask you something. Why are you three so afraid of moving on?

#537
Dude, you're still eating those brownies!

#538
I don't wanna get pregnant! Shoot.

#539
I don't wanna get pregnant! Shoot.

#540
So, you're going to the university for a transplant!

#541
So, you're going to the university for a transplant!

#542
Well, come back and see us, OK?

#543
Well, come back and see us, OK?

#544
Who the hell is responsible for not treating that man?

#545
Well, Bobbo I was going to treat him, but I lost my stethoscope,

#546
Well, Bobbo I was going to treat him, but I lost my stethoscope,

#547
and that's...

#548
He's my patient, Bob!

#549
He's my patient, Bob!

#550
I'm responsible.

#551
Dr Dorian, I have kept my mouth shut

#552
about all the recent sexual harassment complaints

#553
about all the recent sexual harassment complaints

#554
because I don't think it's fair to punish a man for making small talk,

#555
because I don't think it's fair to punish a man for making small talk,

#556
or, say, asking his secretary just once to dress up as a geisha girl

#557
or, say, asking his secretary just once to dress up as a geisha girl

#558
- and call him Kelso-san... - What?

#559
Nothing. But now I need to know,

#560
Nothing. But now I need to know,

#561
is this the type of attending you're going to be?

#562
is this the type of attending you're going to be?

#563
- I guess so.

#564
- Anything else?

#565
- Anything else?

#566
I could tell him there's nothing in my cup and I'm pretending to drink

#567
to seem nonchalant... No.

#568
to seem nonchalant... No.

#569
... but I was thinking about what Carla said about moving on.

#570
... but I was thinking about what Carla said about moving on.

#571
And I wasn't the only one.

#572
Well, at least there's one attending around here I can count on.

#573
Well, at least there's one attending around here I can count on.

#574
Ahh, The hell with it, Bob. I don't work here! Have a good one.

#575
Ahh, The hell with it, Bob. I don't work here! Have a good one.

#576
- I hate this place.

#577
- It hates you, Bob.

#578
- It hates you, Bob.

#579
That's it. All my birth control pills are gone.

#580
That's it. All my birth control pills are gone.

#581
Not exactly.

#582
That Fig Newton you're about to eat

#583
is not only fat-free, but it's baby-free.

#584
is not only fat-free, but it's baby-free.

#585
I just don't get it, Turk.

#586
I just don't get it, Turk.

#587
Look, we had sex 20 times in eight days,

#588
and I bet it's because you sensed my hesitance.

#589
and I bet it's because you sensed my hesitance.

#590
- I just want a baby so badly.

#591
- Why?

#592
What's it gonna be like having a baby?

#593
Dr Cox says it's like having a dog that slowly learns how to talk.

#594
Dr Cox says it's like having a dog that slowly learns how to talk.

#595
Awesome!

#596
Right? And I come from a big family, and I love that.

#597
Right? And I come from a big family, and I love that.

#598
Me too!

#599
And every time we sit at the kitchen table, I feel like someone's missing.

#600
And every time we sit at the kitchen table, I feel like someone's missing.

#601
I can see him.

#602
- J.D! - Gotta make a quick twosie.

#603
- J.D! - Gotta make a quick twosie.

#604
This explains a lot.

#605
Hey! Meet your volleyball team.

#606
They're terrible.

#607
They're terrible.

#608
Newbie! I heard your voice.

#609
(MOUTHS WORDS)

#610
(MOUTHS WORDS)

#611
Thanks for nothin', ass-face.

#612
Thanks for nothin', ass-face.

#613
I'm gonna go ahead

#614
and give you back one of these man cards.

#615
and give you back one of these man cards.

#616
You deserve it.

#617
Wow. Wanna hug?

#618
You held on to it as long as you could.

#619
You held on to it as long as you could.

#620
I'm gonna have a good year, aren't I?

#621
Anything can happen.

#622
Anything can happen.

#623
And I knew he was right...

#624
Excuse me. (SCREAMS)

#625
Excuse me. (SCREAMS)

#626
... for all of us.

#627
... for all of us.

#628
Dr Reid, are you joining us for lunch today?

#629
Dr Reid, are you joining us for lunch today?

#630
Anyone want half a tofu-cheese sandwich?

#631
Anyone want half a tofu-cheese sandwich?

#632
Repeat after me:

#633
Repeat after me:

#634
Boy, boy, boy, very tall boy.

#635
Boy, boy, boy, very tall boy.

#636
- Boy, boy... - Boy, boy...

#637
...very tall boy. ...very tall boy.

#638
...very tall boy. ...very tall boy.

#639
Good night, Keith.

#640
Hey, keep your head up, you're doing a good job.

#641
Hey, keep your head up, you're doing a good job.

#642
Thanks for everything, Dr Dorian.

#643
Thanks for everything, Dr Dorian.

#644
Who am I?

#645
Captions edited by Ai-media ai-media.tv

#646
Captions edited by Ai-media ai-media.tv

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