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Season 5, Episode 8 — My Big Bird
#1
I was super-psyched to get my scooter, Sasha, back from the shop.
#1
I was super-psyched to get my scooter, Sasha, back from the shop.
#2
I was super-psyched to get my scooter, Sasha, back from the shop.
#2
I was super-psyched to get my scooter, Sasha, back from the shop.
#3
But my new scooter insurance hadn't kicked in yet,
#3
But my new scooter insurance hadn't kicked in yet,
#4
But my new scooter insurance hadn't kicked in yet,
#4
But my new scooter insurance hadn't kicked in yet,
#5
so I was being extra cautious.
#5
so I was being extra cautious.
#6
so I was being extra cautious.
#6
so I was being extra cautious.
#7
Perfect. Time for my morning slushie.
#7
Perfect. Time for my morning slushie.
#8
Perfect. Time for my morning slushie.
#8
Perfect. Time for my morning slushie.
#9
Get out of the way! Store's being robbed!
#9
Get out of the way! Store's being robbed!
#10
Get out of the way! Store's being robbed!
#10
Get out of the way! Store's being robbed!
#11
Freeze!
#11
Freeze!
#12
Freeze!
#12
Freeze!
#13
The wall! Hide behind the wall!
#13
The wall! Hide behind the wall!
#14
The wall! Hide behind the wall!
#14
The wall! Hide behind the wall!
#15
No!
#15
No!
#16
No!
#16
No!
#17
Sasha!
#17
Sasha!
#18
Sasha!
#18
Sasha!
#19
All right, all right. OK.
#19
All right, all right. OK.
#20
There was a wall! What's with you?
#20
There was a wall! What's with you?
#21
There was a wall! What's with you?
#21
There was a wall! What's with you?
#22
Who's still shooting? She's down!
#22
Who's still shooting? She's down!
#23
Who's still shooting? She's down!
#23
Who's still shooting? She's down!
#24
It's over!
#24
It's over!
#25
- This gonna hurt? - Don't be a baby.
#25
- This gonna hurt? - Don't be a baby.
#26
- This gonna hurt? - Don't be a baby.
#26
- This gonna hurt? - Don't be a baby.
#27
It's a magnetic image.
#27
It's a magnetic image.
#28
I apologise, Mr Foster. I'm upset.
#28
I apologise, Mr Foster. I'm upset.
#29
I apologise, Mr Foster. I'm upset.
#29
I apologise, Mr Foster. I'm upset.
#30
My scooter was assassinated this morning.
#30
My scooter was assassinated this morning.
#31
He was so attached to that.
#31
He was so attached to that.
#32
He was so attached to that.
#32
He was so attached to that.
#33
He used to wear a bracelet, "Sasha forever."
#33
He used to wear a bracelet, "Sasha forever."
#34
Come on, Turk. It was just a joke, and I only wore it for one week.
#34
Come on, Turk. It was just a joke, and I only wore it for one week.
#35
Come on, Turk. It was just a joke, and I only wore it for one week.
#35
Come on, Turk. It was just a joke, and I only wore it for one week.
#36
Whatever.
#36
Whatever.
#37
Whatever.
#37
Whatever.
#38
Now let's fire this baby up.
#38
Now let's fire this baby up.
#39
OK, so I still wear the bracelet.
#39
OK, so I still wear the bracelet.
#40
Idiot.
#40
Idiot.
#41
My watch!
#41
My watch!
#42
My watch!
#42
My watch!
#43
- Hey, Carla! - Earphones, Ted!
#43
- Hey, Carla! - Earphones, Ted!
#44
- Hey, Carla! - Earphones, Ted!
#44
- Hey, Carla! - Earphones, Ted!
#45
Sorry. Hey, Carla, did you hear the lottery's up to a hundred million?
#45
Sorry. Hey, Carla, did you hear the lottery's up to a hundred million?
#46
Sorry. Hey, Carla, did you hear the lottery's up to a hundred million?
#46
Sorry. Hey, Carla, did you hear the lottery's up to a hundred million?
#47
If I win that baby, it's separate beds for me and my mom.
#47
If I win that baby, it's separate beds for me and my mom.
#48
If I win that baby, it's separate beds for me and my mom.
#48
If I win that baby, it's separate beds for me and my mom.
#49
Yeah and you could spend the other 99,999,000 on therapy.
#49
Yeah and you could spend the other 99,999,000 on therapy.
#50
Yeah and you could spend the other 99,999,000 on therapy.
#50
Yeah and you could spend the other 99,999,000 on therapy.
#51
What would you do with the money?
#51
What would you do with the money?
#52
What would you do with the money?
#52
What would you do with the money?
#53
Carla, I can't believe you're gonna be a mom.
#53
Carla, I can't believe you're gonna be a mom.
#54
Carla, I can't believe you're gonna be a mom.
#54
Carla, I can't believe you're gonna be a mom.
#55
I know. It was expensive, but totally worth it. Right, baby?
#55
I know. It was expensive, but totally worth it. Right, baby?
#56
I know. It was expensive, but totally worth it. Right, baby?
#56
I know. It was expensive, but totally worth it. Right, baby?
#57
Stupid lotto.
#57
Stupid lotto.
#58
Stupid lotto.
#58
Stupid lotto.
#59
- Good morning, Mrs Wilk. - It's a great morning.
#59
- Good morning, Mrs Wilk. - It's a great morning.
#60
- Good morning, Mrs Wilk. - It's a great morning.
#60
- Good morning, Mrs Wilk. - It's a great morning.
#61
That is wrong. Care to join me in a super-Ioud throat clear?
#61
That is wrong. Care to join me in a super-Ioud throat clear?
#62
Absolutely.
#62
Absolutely.
#63
Absolutely.
#63
Absolutely.
#64
One, two, three.
#64
One, two, three.
#65
Elliot, I can't believe you would do that!
#65
Elliot, I can't believe you would do that!
#66
Elliot, I can't believe you would do that!
#66
Elliot, I can't believe you would do that!
#67
- What'd you do? - Was it naughty?
#67
- What'd you do? - Was it naughty?
#68
When women want men to completely zone out,
#68
When women want men to completely zone out,
#69
When women want men to completely zone out,
#69
When women want men to completely zone out,
#70
there's one thing they can talk about.
#70
there's one thing they can talk about.
#71
I went shoe shopping and there was this one pair
#71
I went shoe shopping and there was this one pair
#72
I went shoe shopping and there was this one pair
#72
I went shoe shopping and there was this one pair
#73
- of Manolo Blahniks... - Shoe shopping.
#73
- of Manolo Blahniks... - Shoe shopping.
#74
- of Manolo Blahniks... - Shoe shopping.
#74
- of Manolo Blahniks... - Shoe shopping.
#75
Great, we can talk. What were you thinking?
#75
Great, we can talk. What were you thinking?
#76
Great, we can talk. What were you thinking?
#76
Great, we can talk. What were you thinking?
#77
We kissed. I've been treating his kid for a week
#77
We kissed. I've been treating his kid for a week
#78
and we hit it off. It started out with some flirting.
#78
and we hit it off. It started out with some flirting.
#79
and we hit it off. It started out with some flirting.
#79
and we hit it off. It started out with some flirting.
#80
"Hi, I'm Dr Reid." "Why is there blood in my son's stool?"
#80
"Hi, I'm Dr Reid." "Why is there blood in my son's stool?"
#81
"Hi, I'm Dr Reid." "Why is there blood in my son's stool?"
#81
"Hi, I'm Dr Reid." "Why is there blood in my son's stool?"
#82
- Whose stool? - Strappy sandals.
#82
- Whose stool? - Strappy sandals.
#83
- Whose stool? - Strappy sandals.
#83
- Whose stool? - Strappy sandals.
#84
Shoe shopping.
#84
Shoe shopping.
#85
Shoe shopping.
#85
Shoe shopping.
#86
Continue.
#86
Continue.
#87
And then I asked where his wife was.
#87
And then I asked where his wife was.
#88
And then I asked where his wife was.
#88
And then I asked where his wife was.
#89
He said, "She's not with us."
#89
He said, "She's not with us."
#90
And then, you know...
#90
And then, you know...
#91
And then, you know...
#91
And then, you know...
#92
Cool. Oh, I almost forgot. Lace bra.
#92
Cool. Oh, I almost forgot. Lace bra.
#93
Cool. Oh, I almost forgot. Lace bra.
#93
Cool. Oh, I almost forgot. Lace bra.
#94
- Were they D's? - Be specific.
#94
- Were they D's? - Be specific.
#95
- Were they D's? - Be specific.
#95
- Were they D's? - Be specific.
#96
Good news. The radiologist said your scan is completely clear.
#96
Good news. The radiologist said your scan is completely clear.
#97
Good news. The radiologist said your scan is completely clear.
#97
Good news. The radiologist said your scan is completely clear.
#98
We'd like to keep you here for tests.
#98
We'd like to keep you here for tests.
#99
Whatever you say, doc.
#99
Whatever you say, doc.
#100
Whatever you say, doc.
#100
Whatever you say, doc.
#101
A lot of weird things can happen in a hospital.
#101
A lot of weird things can happen in a hospital.
#102
Like Doug not getting a dead body out of his bed before rigor mortis.
#102
Like Doug not getting a dead body out of his bed before rigor mortis.
#103
Like Doug not getting a dead body out of his bed before rigor mortis.
#103
Like Doug not getting a dead body out of his bed before rigor mortis.
#104
Give me a hand. He's not gonna fit in the body bag like this,
#104
Give me a hand. He's not gonna fit in the body bag like this,
#105
Give me a hand. He's not gonna fit in the body bag like this,
#105
Give me a hand. He's not gonna fit in the body bag like this,
#106
Lie across his feet. I'm gonna push down his head
#106
Lie across his feet. I'm gonna push down his head
#107
Lie across his feet. I'm gonna push down his head
#107
Lie across his feet. I'm gonna push down his head
#108
- and straighten him out. - Fun!
#108
- and straighten him out. - Fun!
#109
- and straighten him out. - Fun!
#109
- and straighten him out. - Fun!
#110
And one, two, three!
#110
And one, two, three!
#111
Ted?
#111
Ted?
#112
The weirdest thing is when a cool guy
#112
The weirdest thing is when a cool guy
#113
The weirdest thing is when a cool guy
#113
The weirdest thing is when a cool guy
#114
who's fine and talking to you one minute...
#114
who's fine and talking to you one minute...
#115
... is dead the next.
#115
... is dead the next.
#116
In hospitals, this happens a lot,
#116
In hospitals, this happens a lot,
#117
In hospitals, this happens a lot,
#117
In hospitals, this happens a lot,
#118
so you have to move on. Except when this happens...
#118
so you have to move on. Except when this happens...
#119
so you have to move on. Except when this happens...
#119
so you have to move on. Except when this happens...
#120
Well, if it isn't the Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse.
#120
Well, if it isn't the Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse.
#121
Well, if it isn't the Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse.
#121
Well, if it isn't the Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse.
#122
There's a mortality conference tomorrow
#122
There's a mortality conference tomorrow
#123
to figure out who's responsible for Foster's death.
#123
to figure out who's responsible for Foster's death.
#124
to figure out who's responsible for Foster's death.
#124
to figure out who's responsible for Foster's death.
#125
And here's the exciting news: I'm pretty sure it was one of you.
#125
And here's the exciting news: I'm pretty sure it was one of you.
#126
And here's the exciting news: I'm pretty sure it was one of you.
#126
And here's the exciting news: I'm pretty sure it was one of you.
#127
You gotta change that cell phone ring.
#127
You gotta change that cell phone ring.
#128
You gotta change that cell phone ring.
#128
You gotta change that cell phone ring.
#129
Mom, not now.
#129
Mom, not now.
#130
(theme song)
#130
(theme song)
#131
(theme song)
#131
(theme song)
#132
So a patient was dead and one of us was gonna be blamed.
#132
So a patient was dead and one of us was gonna be blamed.
#133
So a patient was dead and one of us was gonna be blamed.
#133
So a patient was dead and one of us was gonna be blamed.
#134
You've gotta change that ring.
#134
You've gotta change that ring.
#135
You've gotta change that ring.
#135
You've gotta change that ring.
#136
You think so? Mom, not now.
#136
You think so? Mom, not now.
#137
You think so? Mom, not now.
#137
You think so? Mom, not now.
#138
With morbidity and mortality conferences,
#138
With morbidity and mortality conferences,
#139
the first question sets the tone for the day.
#139
the first question sets the tone for the day.
#140
the first question sets the tone for the day.
#140
the first question sets the tone for the day.
#141
- Who the hell ate my scone? - That would be me.
#141
- Who the hell ate my scone? - That would be me.
#142
- Who the hell ate my scone? - That would be me.
#142
- Who the hell ate my scone? - That would be me.
#143
Delicious. My compliments to the little lady.
#143
Delicious. My compliments to the little lady.
#144
- I made those. - I know.
#144
- I made those. - I know.
#145
- I made those. - I know.
#145
- I made those. - I know.
#146
Dorian, you admitted Mr Foster with coughing, shortness of breath,
#146
Dorian, you admitted Mr Foster with coughing, shortness of breath,
#147
Dorian, you admitted Mr Foster with coughing, shortness of breath,
#147
Dorian, you admitted Mr Foster with coughing, shortness of breath,
#148
is that correct?
#148
is that correct?
#149
Yes.
#149
Yes.
#150
Yes.
#150
Yes.
#151
Mike check. Mike check.
#151
Mike check. Mike check.
#152
Yes.
#152
Yes.
#153
And then what happened?
#153
And then what happened?
#154
And then what happened?
#154
And then what happened?
#155
Dorian. I'm ten feet away from you. Talk.
#155
Dorian. I'm ten feet away from you. Talk.
#156
Dorian. I'm ten feet away from you. Talk.
#156
Dorian. I'm ten feet away from you. Talk.
#157
Mr Foster had recently flown to India where he had been exposed
#157
Mr Foster had recently flown to India where he had been exposed
#158
Mr Foster had recently flown to India where he had been exposed
#158
Mr Foster had recently flown to India where he had been exposed
#159
to an outbreak of pertussis.
#159
to an outbreak of pertussis.
#160
to an outbreak of pertussis.
#160
to an outbreak of pertussis.
#161
I was gonna check his labs,
#161
I was gonna check his labs,
#162
but first I had to visit another patient, Mr Sutton.
#162
but first I had to visit another patient, Mr Sutton.
#163
but first I had to visit another patient, Mr Sutton.
#163
but first I had to visit another patient, Mr Sutton.
#164
So, Mr Sutton, when you came in with heartburn,
#164
So, Mr Sutton, when you came in with heartburn,
#165
So, Mr Sutton, when you came in with heartburn,
#165
So, Mr Sutton, when you came in with heartburn,
#166
I bet you thought I'd kick your butt out.
#166
I bet you thought I'd kick your butt out.
#167
I bet you thought I'd kick your butt out.
#167
I bet you thought I'd kick your butt out.
#168
But not this guy. I admitted you and stayed up all night studying your EKG
#168
But not this guy. I admitted you and stayed up all night studying your EKG
#169
But not this guy. I admitted you and stayed up all night studying your EKG
#169
But not this guy. I admitted you and stayed up all night studying your EKG
#170
because I had a hunch... and no girlfriend.
#170
because I had a hunch... and no girlfriend.
#171
because I had a hunch... and no girlfriend.
#171
because I had a hunch... and no girlfriend.
#172
Mostly it was the hunch.
#172
Mostly it was the hunch.
#173
That hunch paid off because, if I hadn't found that blocked artery,
#173
That hunch paid off because, if I hadn't found that blocked artery,
#174
That hunch paid off because, if I hadn't found that blocked artery,
#174
That hunch paid off because, if I hadn't found that blocked artery,
#175
you'd be dead right now.
#175
you'd be dead right now.
#176
And here comes the gratitude, the two words every doctor lives to hear.
#176
And here comes the gratitude, the two words every doctor lives to hear.
#177
And here comes the gratitude, the two words every doctor lives to hear.
#177
And here comes the gratitude, the two words every doctor lives to hear.
#178
And here comes the gratitude, the two words every doctor lives to hear.
#178
And here comes the gratitude, the two words every doctor lives to hear.
#179
Later, dude.
#179
Later, dude.
#180
I can't believe he didn't thank me. You'll thank me when you leave?
#180
I can't believe he didn't thank me. You'll thank me when you leave?
#181
I can't believe he didn't thank me. You'll thank me when you leave?
#181
I can't believe he didn't thank me. You'll thank me when you leave?
#182
I don't know. Why are you so needy?
#182
I don't know. Why are you so needy?
#183
I don't know. Why are you so needy?
#183
I don't know. Why are you so needy?
#184
He keeps a hug schedule with his friends.
#184
He keeps a hug schedule with his friends.
#185
OK, looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2.00 spot
#185
OK, looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2.00 spot
#186
OK, looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2.00 spot
#186
OK, looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2.00 spot
#187
and pencilled in for never. How does that feel? Sting?
#187
and pencilled in for never. How does that feel? Sting?
#188
and pencilled in for never. How does that feel? Sting?
#188
and pencilled in for never. How does that feel? Sting?
#189
He's hurting. Hug him. Hug him now.
#189
He's hurting. Hug him. Hug him now.
#190
He's hurting. Hug him. Hug him now.
#190
He's hurting. Hug him. Hug him now.
#191
You guys, what would you do with a hundred million dollars?
#191
You guys, what would you do with a hundred million dollars?
#192
You guys, what would you do with a hundred million dollars?
#192
You guys, what would you do with a hundred million dollars?
#193
A hundred million dollars?
#193
A hundred million dollars?
#194
The Super Lotto jackpot was up to a 100 million dollars.
#194
The Super Lotto jackpot was up to a 100 million dollars.
#195
The Super Lotto jackpot was up to a 100 million dollars.
#195
The Super Lotto jackpot was up to a 100 million dollars.
#196
So earlier that morning...
#196
So earlier that morning...
#197
So earlier that morning...
#197
So earlier that morning...
#198
I'm just saying, think of what you could do with that kind of money.
#198
I'm just saying, think of what you could do with that kind of money.
#199
I'm just saying, think of what you could do with that kind of money.
#199
I'm just saying, think of what you could do with that kind of money.
#200
- I could get a trained shark. - Why?
#200
- I could get a trained shark. - Why?
#201
- I could get a trained shark. - Why?
#201
- I could get a trained shark. - Why?
#202
Thanks for inviting me over.
#202
Thanks for inviting me over.
#203
Anytime, buddy. Anytime.
#203
Anytime, buddy. Anytime.
#204
Anytime, buddy. Anytime.
#204
Anytime, buddy. Anytime.
#205
Wait for him... wait for him...
#205
Wait for him... wait for him...
#206
Wait for him... wait for him...
#206
Wait for him... wait for him...
#207
Can opener!
#207
Can opener!
#208
The lobster's in the pot. Devour! Devour!
#208
The lobster's in the pot. Devour! Devour!
#209
Something feels pinchy.
#209
Something feels pinchy.
#210
Save me a leg.
#210
Save me a leg.
#211
Save me a leg.
#211
Save me a leg.
#212
I'm in.
#212
I'm in.
#213
I'm in.
#213
I'm in.
#214
We could buy more tickets if we collect money from everyone.
#214
We could buy more tickets if we collect money from everyone.
#215
- I'll go through their lockers. - Asking them.
#215
- I'll go through their lockers. - Asking them.
#216
- I'll go through their lockers. - Asking them.
#216
- I'll go through their lockers. - Asking them.
#217
Seems kinda roundabout, but OK.
#217
Seems kinda roundabout, but OK.
#218
Seems kinda roundabout, but OK.
#218
Seems kinda roundabout, but OK.
#219
Hey, Dr Cox, you want to put in for some lottery tickets?
#219
Hey, Dr Cox, you want to put in for some lottery tickets?
#220
Hey, Dr Cox, you want to put in for some lottery tickets?
#220
Hey, Dr Cox, you want to put in for some lottery tickets?
#221
Oh, gosh, Carla, I would. I really would.
#221
Oh, gosh, Carla, I would. I really would.
#222
Oh, gosh, Carla, I would. I really would.
#222
Oh, gosh, Carla, I would. I really would.
#223
But you see, I already set fire to a big pile of money just this morning.
#223
But you see, I already set fire to a big pile of money just this morning.
#224
But you see, I already set fire to a big pile of money just this morning.
#224
But you see, I already set fire to a big pile of money just this morning.
#225
We have the same chance of winning as anyone.
#225
We have the same chance of winning as anyone.
#226
We have the same chance of winning as anyone.
#226
We have the same chance of winning as anyone.
#227
And the category is... ding!
#227
And the category is... ding!
#228
Things with a better chance of happening than you winning.
#228
Things with a better chance of happening than you winning.
#229
Things with a better chance of happening than you winning.
#229
Things with a better chance of happening than you winning.
#230
Ted-ski, throw ten seconds on the clock for me, would you please?
#230
Ted-ski, throw ten seconds on the clock for me, would you please?
#231
Ted-ski, throw ten seconds on the clock for me, would you please?
#231
Ted-ski, throw ten seconds on the clock for me, would you please?
#232
- Go! - Brain transplants,
#232
- Go! - Brain transplants,
#233
- Go! - Brain transplants,
#233
- Go! - Brain transplants,
#234
Britney Spears having another hit,
#234
Britney Spears having another hit,
#235
Rolling Stones on a farewell tour and meaning it,
#235
Rolling Stones on a farewell tour and meaning it,
#236
Rolling Stones on a farewell tour and meaning it,
#236
Rolling Stones on a farewell tour and meaning it,
#237
me caring about anything on Wisteria Lane,
#237
me caring about anything on Wisteria Lane,
#238
me caring about anything on Wisteria Lane,
#238
me caring about anything on Wisteria Lane,
#239
Jessica Simpson winning an Oscar, Jessica Alba winning,
#239
Jessica Simpson winning an Oscar, Jessica Alba winning,
#240
Simpson becoming Alba-Simpson...
#240
Simpson becoming Alba-Simpson...
#241
Simpson becoming Alba-Simpson...
#241
Simpson becoming Alba-Simpson...
#242
Time!
#242
Time!
#243
Anyway, that explains why I went into the room and said...
#243
Anyway, that explains why I went into the room and said...
#244
What would you do with a hundred million dollars?
#244
What would you do with a hundred million dollars?
#245
- Me? Floating Head Doctor. - Here we go.
#245
- Me? Floating Head Doctor. - Here we go.
#246
- Me? Floating Head Doctor. - Here we go.
#246
- Me? Floating Head Doctor. - Here we go.
#247
I'd spend the money researching how to separate my head from my body.
#247
I'd spend the money researching how to separate my head from my body.
#248
I'd spend the money researching how to separate my head from my body.
#248
I'd spend the money researching how to separate my head from my body.
#249
That way I could literally be in two places at once.
#249
That way I could literally be in two places at once.
#250
That way I could literally be in two places at once.
#250
That way I could literally be in two places at once.
#251
Looking good, Mr Henderson.
#251
Looking good, Mr Henderson.
#252
Looking real good, Nurse Myers.
#252
Looking real good, Nurse Myers.
#253
Looking real good, Nurse Myers.
#253
Looking real good, Nurse Myers.
#254
Uh-oh.
#254
Uh-oh.
#255
He's flatlining! Body, come!
#255
He's flatlining! Body, come!
#256
He's flatlining! Body, come!
#256
He's flatlining! Body, come!
#257
Damn it!
#257
Damn it!
#258
Damn it!
#258
Damn it!
#259
Starting CPR.
#259
Starting CPR.
#260
Starting CPR.
#260
Starting CPR.
#261
There'd probably be some kinks to work out.
#261
There'd probably be some kinks to work out.
#262
There'd probably be some kinks to work out.
#262
There'd probably be some kinks to work out.
#263
Where is that whore?
#263
Where is that whore?
#264
Where is that whore?
#264
Where is that whore?
#265
- Who's a whore? - That'd be me, sir.
#265
- Who's a whore? - That'd be me, sir.
#266
- Who's a whore? - That'd be me, sir.
#266
- Who's a whore? - That'd be me, sir.
#267
Oh, of course. Would you care to elaborate?
#267
Oh, of course. Would you care to elaborate?
#268
See, yesterday, I went shoe shopping...
#268
See, yesterday, I went shoe shopping...
#269
See, yesterday, I went shoe shopping...
#269
See, yesterday, I went shoe shopping...
#270
Shoe shopping.
#270
Shoe shopping.
#271
Shoe shopping.
#271
Shoe shopping.
#272
Shoe shopping.
#272
Shoe shopping.
#273
Oh, please.
#273
Oh, please.
#274
Jordan used to use that one on me all the time. Immune. Watch this.
#274
Jordan used to use that one on me all the time. Immune. Watch this.
#275
Jordan used to use that one on me all the time. Immune. Watch this.
#275
Jordan used to use that one on me all the time. Immune. Watch this.
#276
Satin panties.
#276
Satin panties.
#277
Satin panties.
#277
Satin panties.
#278
Fine. I was checking on Mrs Wilk and...
#278
Fine. I was checking on Mrs Wilk and...
#279
Fine. I was checking on Mrs Wilk and...
#279
Fine. I was checking on Mrs Wilk and...
#280
Mrs Wilk, I wanted to explain to you my behaviour before.
#280
Mrs Wilk, I wanted to explain to you my behaviour before.
#281
Mrs Wilk, I wanted to explain to you my behaviour before.
#281
Mrs Wilk, I wanted to explain to you my behaviour before.
#282
It's not like I was making out with some random guy.
#282
It's not like I was making out with some random guy.
#283
It's not like I was making out with some random guy.
#283
It's not like I was making out with some random guy.
#284
I wouldn't do that. Well, I did that once. There was this Medi-Vac pilot.
#284
I wouldn't do that. Well, I did that once. There was this Medi-Vac pilot.
#285
I wouldn't do that. Well, I did that once. There was this Medi-Vac pilot.
#285
I wouldn't do that. Well, I did that once. There was this Medi-Vac pilot.
#286
He just turned out to be an orderly
#286
He just turned out to be an orderly
#287
who got his hands on a helicopter helmet.
#287
who got his hands on a helicopter helmet.
#288
who got his hands on a helicopter helmet.
#288
who got his hands on a helicopter helmet.
#289
But this is different. Sure, it could get complicated. He has a son...
#289
But this is different. Sure, it could get complicated. He has a son...
#290
But this is different. Sure, it could get complicated. He has a son...
#290
But this is different. Sure, it could get complicated. He has a son...
#291
And a wife.
#291
And a wife.
#292
I've been making out with a married man
#292
I've been making out with a married man
#293
I've been making out with a married man
#293
I've been making out with a married man
#294
while his sick child slept a few feet away.
#294
while his sick child slept a few feet away.
#295
while his sick child slept a few feet away.
#295
while his sick child slept a few feet away.
#296
Oh, my God, I've become my mother.
#296
Oh, my God, I've become my mother.
#297
Hi. You said your wife was dead.
#297
Hi. You said your wife was dead.
#298
Hi. You said your wife was dead.
#298
Hi. You said your wife was dead.
#299
I said she wasn't with us. Don't make me a bad guy.
#299
I said she wasn't with us. Don't make me a bad guy.
#300
You're not a good guy.
#300
You're not a good guy.
#301
You're not a good guy.
#301
You're not a good guy.
#302
Good guys don't lie about being single or being pilots.
#302
Good guys don't lie about being single or being pilots.
#303
Good guys don't lie about being single or being pilots.
#303
Good guys don't lie about being single or being pilots.
#304
If you were a good guy, you'd get in and tell her what happened.
#304
If you were a good guy, you'd get in and tell her what happened.
#305
If you were a good guy, you'd get in and tell her what happened.
#305
If you were a good guy, you'd get in and tell her what happened.
#306
- You're right. - Hell, yeah, I am.
#306
- You're right. - Hell, yeah, I am.
#307
Wait, what?
#307
Wait, what?
#308
You know how when something horrible happens, like a car accident,
#308
You know how when something horrible happens, like a car accident,
#309
You know how when something horrible happens, like a car accident,
#309
You know how when something horrible happens, like a car accident,
#310
everything slows down?
#310
everything slows down?
#311
No!
#311
No!
#312
Whore!
#312
Whore!
#313
Whore!
#313
Whore!
#314
Where is that whore?
#314
Where is that whore?
#315
Hey, guys. What's up?
#315
Hey, guys. What's up?
#316
Would you do me a favour and cover Mr Foster?
#316
Would you do me a favour and cover Mr Foster?
#317
Would you do me a favour and cover Mr Foster?
#317
Would you do me a favour and cover Mr Foster?
#318
I have to go to Sutton's and get the thank-you I deserve.
#318
I have to go to Sutton's and get the thank-you I deserve.
#319
I have to go to Sutton's and get the thank-you I deserve.
#319
I have to go to Sutton's and get the thank-you I deserve.
#320
You are so obsessing about this.
#320
You are so obsessing about this.
#321
Like the time you were convinced the cafeteria was giving you small waffles.
#321
Like the time you were convinced the cafeteria was giving you small waffles.
#322
Like the time you were convinced the cafeteria was giving you small waffles.
#322
Like the time you were convinced the cafeteria was giving you small waffles.
#323
How'd that work out?
#323
How'd that work out?
#324
How'd that work out?
#324
How'd that work out?
#325
They waffle-ironed my foot. This is different.
#325
They waffle-ironed my foot. This is different.
#326
- Look, I need a ride. - Pass.
#326
- Look, I need a ride. - Pass.
#327
- Look, I need a ride. - Pass.
#327
- Look, I need a ride. - Pass.
#328
Oh, pass, huh? Well, this is what happened last time you passed.
#328
Oh, pass, huh? Well, this is what happened last time you passed.
#329
Oh, pass, huh? Well, this is what happened last time you passed.
#329
Oh, pass, huh? Well, this is what happened last time you passed.
#330
OK, put the foot away. Put the waffle foot away.
#330
OK, put the foot away. Put the waffle foot away.
#331
OK, put the foot away. Put the waffle foot away.
#331
OK, put the foot away. Put the waffle foot away.
#332
This is where Sutton lives, right? Let's get in there.
#332
This is where Sutton lives, right? Let's get in there.
#333
This is where Sutton lives, right? Let's get in there.
#333
This is where Sutton lives, right? Let's get in there.
#334
J. D...
#334
J. D...
#335
J. D...
#335
J. D...
#336
Dude?
#336
Dude?
#337
OK, just back away slowly.
#337
OK, just back away slowly.
#338
OK, just back away slowly.
#338
OK, just back away slowly.
#339
Oh, no! Turk, they're organised! Run!
#339
Oh, no! Turk, they're organised! Run!
#340
Good Lord, Bobbo, was that your stomach?
#340
Good Lord, Bobbo, was that your stomach?
#341
Good Lord, Bobbo, was that your stomach?
#341
Good Lord, Bobbo, was that your stomach?
#342
And there it was. Hope.
#342
And there it was. Hope.
#343
And there it was. Hope.
#343
And there it was. Hope.
#344
Dr Kelso's inability to deal with hunger was legendary.
#344
Dr Kelso's inability to deal with hunger was legendary.
#345
Dr Kelso's inability to deal with hunger was legendary.
#345
Dr Kelso's inability to deal with hunger was legendary.
#346
We were as good as home.
#346
We were as good as home.
#347
I've heard enough. Let's call it and go to lunch.
#347
I've heard enough. Let's call it and go to lunch.
#348
I've heard enough. Let's call it and go to lunch.
#348
I've heard enough. Let's call it and go to lunch.
#349
Just hold on. That is not the way it works, Bobbo.
#349
Just hold on. That is not the way it works, Bobbo.
#350
Just hold on. That is not the way it works, Bobbo.
#350
Just hold on. That is not the way it works, Bobbo.
#351
This is important. You sit down and get on with it.
#351
This is important. You sit down and get on with it.
#352
This is important. You sit down and get on with it.
#352
This is important. You sit down and get on with it.
#353
Perry, I'm in charge here.
#353
Perry, I'm in charge here.
#354
Perry, I'm in charge here.
#354
Perry, I'm in charge here.
#355
Ted, give him your sandwich.
#355
Ted, give him your sandwich.
#356
I suppose I could spare a small corner.
#356
I suppose I could spare a small corner.
#357
I suppose I could spare a small corner.
#357
I suppose I could spare a small corner.
#358
Everyone just stay right where you are
#358
Everyone just stay right where you are
#359
Everyone just stay right where you are
#359
Everyone just stay right where you are
#360
and we will be back in... two minutes.
#360
and we will be back in... two minutes.
#361
and we will be back in... two minutes.
#361
and we will be back in... two minutes.
#362
One sandwich later, we got back into it.
#362
One sandwich later, we got back into it.
#363
One sandwich later, we got back into it.
#363
One sandwich later, we got back into it.
#364
And then what happened, Dr Dorian?
#364
And then what happened, Dr Dorian?
#365
And then what happened, Dr Dorian?
#365
And then what happened, Dr Dorian?
#366
Well, sir, fortunately for us, ostriches are flightless birds.
#366
Well, sir, fortunately for us, ostriches are flightless birds.
#367
Well, sir, fortunately for us, ostriches are flightless birds.
#367
Well, sir, fortunately for us, ostriches are flightless birds.
#368
There goes the sentry.
#368
There goes the sentry.
#369
Every three minutes, like clockwork.
#369
Every three minutes, like clockwork.
#370
Every three minutes, like clockwork.
#370
Every three minutes, like clockwork.
#371
Dude, can I admit something to you?
#371
Dude, can I admit something to you?
#372
I kind of missed not getting my hug today.
#372
I kind of missed not getting my hug today.
#373
I kind of missed not getting my hug today.
#373
I kind of missed not getting my hug today.
#374
Here comes your vanilla bear.
#374
Here comes your vanilla bear.
#375
J.D. J.D. Oh, J. D!
#375
J.D. J.D. Oh, J. D!
#376
J.D. J.D. Oh, J. D!
#376
J.D. J.D. Oh, J. D!
#377
Dude, don't sweat it!
#377
Dude, don't sweat it!
#378
It says here the ostrich is generally a docile creature.
#378
It says here the ostrich is generally a docile creature.
#379
It says here the ostrich is generally a docile creature.
#379
It says here the ostrich is generally a docile creature.
#380
Thank God.
#380
Thank God.
#381
Thank God.
#381
Thank God.
#382
It also says their kick can kill a man.
#382
It also says their kick can kill a man.
#383
What? I'm coming back up!
#383
What? I'm coming back up!
#384
What? I'm coming back up!
#384
What? I'm coming back up!
#385
Turk!
#385
Turk!
#386
Turk!
#386
Turk!
#387
Mr Sutton, I hope this isn't a bad time.
#387
Mr Sutton, I hope this isn't a bad time.
#388
Who cares about Mr Sutton?
#388
Who cares about Mr Sutton?
#389
So, Dr Reid, you were covering Mr Foster.
#389
So, Dr Reid, you were covering Mr Foster.
#390
So, Dr Reid, you were covering Mr Foster.
#390
So, Dr Reid, you were covering Mr Foster.
#391
Actually, sir, I was on my way to cover Mr Foster,
#391
Actually, sir, I was on my way to cover Mr Foster,
#392
Actually, sir, I was on my way to cover Mr Foster,
#392
Actually, sir, I was on my way to cover Mr Foster,
#393
but then I stopped in Mrs Wilk's room and...
#393
but then I stopped in Mrs Wilk's room and...
#394
but then I stopped in Mrs Wilk's room and...
#394
but then I stopped in Mrs Wilk's room and...
#395
- What are you doing? - Don't look at me.
#395
- What are you doing? - Don't look at me.
#396
- What are you doing? - Don't look at me.
#396
- What are you doing? - Don't look at me.
#397
Do you see the woman standing outside?
#397
Do you see the woman standing outside?
#398
- Yeah, I see her. - I made out with her husband.
#398
- Yeah, I see her. - I made out with her husband.
#399
That's disgusting.
#399
That's disgusting.
#400
That's disgusting.
#400
That's disgusting.
#401
OK, just get out of here and do PFTs on Mr Foster.
#401
OK, just get out of here and do PFTs on Mr Foster.
#402
OK, just get out of here and do PFTs on Mr Foster.
#402
OK, just get out of here and do PFTs on Mr Foster.
#403
Dr Reid, why are you hiding? You didn't do anything wrong.
#403
Dr Reid, why are you hiding? You didn't do anything wrong.
#404
Dr Reid, why are you hiding? You didn't do anything wrong.
#404
Dr Reid, why are you hiding? You didn't do anything wrong.
#405
If we all win this lottery then I am using that money to find a decent man.
#405
If we all win this lottery then I am using that money to find a decent man.
#406
If we all win this lottery then I am using that money to find a decent man.
#406
If we all win this lottery then I am using that money to find a decent man.
#407
You may kiss the bride.
#407
You may kiss the bride.
#408
You may kiss the bride.
#408
You may kiss the bride.
#409
Whoa, save it for tonight, big guy.
#409
Whoa, save it for tonight, big guy.
#410
Whoa, save it for tonight, big guy.
#410
Whoa, save it for tonight, big guy.
#411
Mazeltov.
#411
Mazeltov.
#412
Mazeltov.
#412
Mazeltov.
#413
Why did I make him Jewish? My parents will kill me.
#413
Why did I make him Jewish? My parents will kill me.
#414
Why did I make him Jewish? My parents will kill me.
#414
Why did I make him Jewish? My parents will kill me.
#415
Why ostriches?
#415
Why ostriches?
#416
Why ostriches?
#416
Why ostriches?
#417
They're majestic creatures, don't you think?
#417
They're majestic creatures, don't you think?
#418
And they're kinda like my children.
#418
And they're kinda like my children.
#419
And they're kinda like my children.
#419
And they're kinda like my children.
#420
Plus, I make belts out of their necks.
#420
Plus, I make belts out of their necks.
#421
Plus, I make belts out of their necks.
#421
Plus, I make belts out of their necks.
#422
OK. Look, Mr Sutton, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here.
#422
OK. Look, Mr Sutton, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here.
#423
OK. Look, Mr Sutton, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here.
#423
OK. Look, Mr Sutton, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here.
#424
- There is a door. - Man.
#424
- There is a door. - Man.
#425
You OK? Did you try and escape?
#425
You OK? Did you try and escape?
#426
You OK? Did you try and escape?
#426
You OK? Did you try and escape?
#427
I did escape. There was one waiting in the car.
#427
I did escape. There was one waiting in the car.
#428
I did escape. There was one waiting in the car.
#428
I did escape. There was one waiting in the car.
#429
Leon. Loves the car rides.
#429
Leon. Loves the car rides.
#430
Likes to stick his head out. I tell him it's dangerous.
#430
Likes to stick his head out. I tell him it's dangerous.
#431
Likes to stick his head out. I tell him it's dangerous.
#431
Likes to stick his head out. I tell him it's dangerous.
#432
He doesn't listen.
#432
He doesn't listen.
#433
Mr Sutton, I cured you and you never thanked me.
#433
Mr Sutton, I cured you and you never thanked me.
#434
Mr Sutton, I cured you and you never thanked me.
#434
Mr Sutton, I cured you and you never thanked me.
#435
For doing your job? I'm a garbage man.
#435
For doing your job? I'm a garbage man.
#436
For doing your job? I'm a garbage man.
#436
For doing your job? I'm a garbage man.
#437
How many times a day do I get thanked?
#437
How many times a day do I get thanked?
#438
- Six. - You're off by about six.
#438
- Six. - You're off by about six.
#439
- Six. - You're off by about six.
#439
- Six. - You're off by about six.
#440
Twelve!
#440
Twelve!
#441
I see why Leon outfoxed you.
#441
I see why Leon outfoxed you.
#442
I see why Leon outfoxed you.
#442
I see why Leon outfoxed you.
#443
Stupid bird stole my hat.
#443
Stupid bird stole my hat.
#444
I don't see why it's such a big deal for you to say, "Hey, doc..."
#444
I don't see why it's such a big deal for you to say, "Hey, doc..."
#445
I don't see why it's such a big deal for you to say, "Hey, doc..."
#445
I don't see why it's such a big deal for you to say, "Hey, doc..."
#446
I don't see why it's such a big deal for you to say, "Hey, doc..."
#446
I don't see why it's such a big deal for you to say, "Hey, doc..."
#447
Why'd he just walk away like that?
#447
Why'd he just walk away like that?
#448
Uh-oh.
#448
Uh-oh.
#449
Don't move.
#449
Don't move.
#450
Don't move.
#450
Don't move.
#451
I gotta admit he looks pretty phat in your Kangol.
#451
I gotta admit he looks pretty phat in your Kangol.
#452
They're about to pick the numbers.
#452
They're about to pick the numbers.
#453
And remember that when we win, we win as a family.
#453
And remember that when we win, we win as a family.
#454
And remember that when we win, we win as a family.
#454
And remember that when we win, we win as a family.
#455
I set aside 20 tickets for you and I to split.
#455
I set aside 20 tickets for you and I to split.
#456
I set aside 20 tickets for you and I to split.
#456
I set aside 20 tickets for you and I to split.
#457
Perfect.
#457
Perfect.
#458
Nurse Espinoza, Mr Foster's cough is worse and Dr Dorian's gone.
#458
Nurse Espinoza, Mr Foster's cough is worse and Dr Dorian's gone.
#459
Nurse Espinoza, Mr Foster's cough is worse and Dr Dorian's gone.
#459
Nurse Espinoza, Mr Foster's cough is worse and Dr Dorian's gone.
#460
Dr Reid's covering, but she's indisposed.
#460
Dr Reid's covering, but she's indisposed.
#461
Dr Reid's covering, but she's indisposed.
#461
Dr Reid's covering, but she's indisposed.
#462
I'm about to become a millionaire. Call Dr Turk, he's the surgeon on-call.
#462
I'm about to become a millionaire. Call Dr Turk, he's the surgeon on-call.
#463
I'm about to become a millionaire. Call Dr Turk, he's the surgeon on-call.
#463
I'm about to become a millionaire. Call Dr Turk, he's the surgeon on-call.
#464
You're missing out.
#464
You're missing out.
#465
There's plenty you could do with a hundred million dollars.
#465
There's plenty you could do with a hundred million dollars.
#466
There's plenty you could do with a hundred million dollars.
#466
There's plenty you could do with a hundred million dollars.
#467
Oh, come on. You gotta make that shot.
#467
Oh, come on. You gotta make that shot.
#468
Oh, come on. You gotta make that shot.
#468
Oh, come on. You gotta make that shot.
#469
Let me out of here! I will kill you!
#469
Let me out of here! I will kill you!
#470
I'm watching the game.
#470
I'm watching the game.
#471
Sweetie, you want to get naughty?
#471
Sweetie, you want to get naughty?
#472
Sweetie, you want to get naughty?
#472
Sweetie, you want to get naughty?
#473
Come on. Do it. Do it.
#473
Come on. Do it. Do it.
#474
Come on. Do it. Do it.
#474
Come on. Do it. Do it.
#475
I can wait another day. Button up and watch the game.
#475
I can wait another day. Button up and watch the game.
#476
I can wait another day. Button up and watch the game.
#476
I can wait another day. Button up and watch the game.
#477
I gotta call my glass guy.
#477
I gotta call my glass guy.
#478
I gotta call my glass guy.
#478
I gotta call my glass guy.
#479
Mrs Brown, I want you to know how sorry I am for kissing your husband.
#479
Mrs Brown, I want you to know how sorry I am for kissing your husband.
#480
Mrs Brown, I want you to know how sorry I am for kissing your husband.
#480
Mrs Brown, I want you to know how sorry I am for kissing your husband.
#481
We are two women who have been wronged and lied to,
#481
We are two women who have been wronged and lied to,
#482
and the healthiest thing for us to do now,
#482
and the healthiest thing for us to do now,
#483
and the healthiest thing for us to do now,
#483
and the healthiest thing for us to do now,
#484
walk away from each other with our dignity intact. Don't you agree?
#484
walk away from each other with our dignity intact. Don't you agree?
#485
walk away from each other with our dignity intact. Don't you agree?
#485
walk away from each other with our dignity intact. Don't you agree?
#486
Do you know what I do with whores?
#486
Do you know what I do with whores?
#487
I punch them in the face.
#487
I punch them in the face.
#488
I punch them in the face.
#488
I punch them in the face.
#489
Bring it, bitch.
#489
Bring it, bitch.
#490
Bring it, bitch.
#490
Bring it, bitch.
#491
Dude, are you really gonna sit here all day just to thank your garbage man?
#491
Dude, are you really gonna sit here all day just to thank your garbage man?
#492
Dude, are you really gonna sit here all day just to thank your garbage man?
#492
Dude, are you really gonna sit here all day just to thank your garbage man?
#493
Jabbarie has been added to the hug schedule. Wanna wait with me?
#493
Jabbarie has been added to the hug schedule. Wanna wait with me?
#494
Jabbarie has been added to the hug schedule. Wanna wait with me?
#494
Jabbarie has been added to the hug schedule. Wanna wait with me?
#495
I was supposed to be on-call five minutes ago.
#495
I was supposed to be on-call five minutes ago.
#496
I was supposed to be on-call five minutes ago.
#496
I was supposed to be on-call five minutes ago.
#497
This experience got me thinking about the nature of gratitude.
#497
This experience got me thinking about the nature of gratitude.
#498
This experience got me thinking about the nature of gratitude.
#498
This experience got me thinking about the nature of gratitude.
#499
In the end...
#499
In the end...
#500
Whether you're a doctor or a garbage man...
#500
Whether you're a doctor or a garbage man...
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