Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S17E03 — Mac and Dennis Become EMTs

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 17, Episode 3 — Mac and Dennis Become EMTs

#1
[paramedic 1] Don't think this guy's gonna make it. You hear me?

#2
[paramedic 2] Did you have an OPA.

#3
[paramedic 1] Breathing's irregular and weak.

#4
- [paramedic 2] Responsive to pain? - [paramedic 1] Not at all.

#5
Sir, can you hear me? His lips are super red.

#6
[paramedic 2] Purple cyanosis.

#7
- Super diaphoretic. - [paramedic 1] Sweating like a pig.

#8
- What happened to this guy? - We don't know this guy from Adam.

#9
We've never seen him before at all. He's a total outsider.

#10
I never saw him before in the bar at all.

#11
His goddamn heart just stopped for no reason.

#12
Not no reason. You gave him a hot pepper.

#13
Don't... They don't have to know that.

#14
- Never mind that! - It was a totally unrelated incident.

#15
- Never mind that. - Who was that guy anyway?

#16
Man, just like some random dude who walked in here off the streets.

#17
- [Frank] Yeah. - Well, we are an open bar.

#18
I thought he was, like, a jazzman.

#19
I mean, he had a ponytail. He had a piano-key tie.

#20
So I pranked him with a ghost pepper.

#21
You'd think that a jazzman would be more accustomed to spices, you know?

#22
- Right? You'd think he'd be fine. - Yeah, he just dropped...

#23
- Here you go, Frank. One smash burger. - Oh.

#24
It's about time.

#25
Okay.

#26
Ooh. Somebody dying or something?

#27
Random jazzman.

#28
Really? Just wandered right in off the streets? No reason?

#29
We are an open, working bar.

#30
Sorry. Wh-What's with the food delivery here?

#31
Oh. I'm, uh, doing a Postmates thing as a side gig.

#32
- On a bike? [chuckles] - [Charlie] Uh. No, no.

#33
Yeah, no, sorry, uh. I-I mean, why are you ordering food from Dee, Frank?

#34
You don't like the burgers that I've been making in the apartment?

#35
What? I wanted a smash burger.

#36
You don't think I can make a burger and smash it? I'll smash a burger for you.

#37
What the hell, Frank? A 5% tip?

#38
Pedal faster. It's cold as shit.

#39
- [Dee] Goddamn it. - [chuckles]

#40
They're taking him to the hospital.

#41
Good job, guys! Good luck!

#42
Yes, uh, great work, fellas. Uh, thank you for your service.

#43
That guy's gonna sue the shit out of me.

#44
- That's not good, man. - [door closes]

#45
Hey, did anybody else get, like, a crazy rush from that experience?

#46
I did.

#47
[stammers] It's nice to have a little action around here, right?

#48
The way those EMTs, like, fire in and they fire out with all the lights

#49
- and the sirens, saving lives. - It's awesome.

#50
[Dennis] You know, it's as close to playing God as you can get, you know?

#51
And the lifestyle. There's an appeal to it for sure.

#52
The lifestyle. Yeah, the whole thing is a vibe, and I am here for it.

#53
- Me too. It's sexy. - [chuckles] Yeah, sexy.

#54
You know that they bang the doctors and the nurses, right?

#55
Of course they do. Of course they do. Are you kidding me?

#56
The lifestyle is spicier than one of Frank's ghost peppers.

#57
Mac, come here for a second.

#58
Go with me here, but, uh, I'm sensing an opportunity,

#59
and I'm gonna float something by you that I think is a

#60
very reasonable proposition.

#61
[Mac] Hmm.

#62
[♪ theme song plays]

#63
Oh.

#64
Uh...

#65
You're not cake, are you?

#66
Nah. It's just a joke between me and the guys...

#67
Uh... [mutters] Something.

#68
Anyway, I came over here to say I'm sorry because...

#69
Well, y-you know, actually, it's not my fault.

#70
Well, sure, I gave you a hot pepper and you had a heart attack,

#71
but, you know, I-I kind of attribute that to the...

#72
you know, the jazzman lifestyle more than the pepper.

#73
Eh? Just checking about the cake thing.

#74
[chuckles] You never know with those guys.

#75
Well, well, well.

#76
The Lawyer. What's with the getup?

#77
It's not a getup.

#78
It's an eye patch from when I was attacked by a bird.

#79
Gruesome. I wish I'd have seen that.

#80
You did see it.

#81
I don't remember.

#82
You don't remember being present in a court of law

#83
while a wild animal pecked out someone's eye?

#84
Can you be more specific?

#85
Oh.

#86
I'll be more specific, Frank.

#87
I'm here looking for clients, and I just found one.

#88
You just admitted to causing this man grievous harm,

#89
and I am going to take you down.

#90
- I'm innocent. - You literally just admitted it.

#91
- I was lying. - To a man in a coma?

#92
- I thought he was cake. - Okay.

#93
I'll see you in court, Frank.

#94
Shit.

#95
This is great, buddy. Frankly, I think we should've done it years ago.

#96
Agreed. This is the perfect complement

#97
- to our fast-paced lifestyle. - I think so too.

#98
Plus, I really feel like we should know how to do CPR, you know?

#99
Yes. Yes.

#100
Hey. Uh, pepper?

#101
And what do we have here?

#102
Well, the incident with the jazzman got me thinking about peppers,

#103
getting peppers back into my life.

#104
You know? Peppers spice everything up

#105
from... from tacos to talk shows.

#106
[chuckles] That's cute.

#107
- Yeah. - Yeah. Okay. I like where your head's at,

#108
but I think really it's maybe a matter of dosage.

#109
Like we-we shouldn't eat a whole pepper.

#110
We saw what happened to the jazzman.

#111
I'm thinking maybe microdosing is the way to go.

#112
- Microdose. Explain. - Yep.

#113
Well, instead of taking 100% of the dose 10% of the time,

#114
we take 10% of the dose 100% of the time.

#115
That is scientifically more better.

#116
- Wanna try it? - Yeah.

#117
All right, just take a little nibble.

#118
Just a little... a little micro, huh?

#119
Yeah.

#120
Mm-hmm. And then we just need to repeat

#121
- that dosage all day and all night. - Absolutely. That's good.

#122
I'm getting a little heat, but it's not too much heat.

#123
No. I definitely don't need more than that, know what I mean?

#124
- No. I'm gonna need more in 15 minutes. - Well, sure.

#125
[instructor] Okay. [chuckles]

#126
- Speaking of spicy... - [instructor] How's everyone doing?

#127
...things just got a little caliente .

#128
[instructor] Hello, class, and welcome.

#129
I wanna congratulate you all for making a decision

#130
to pursue a career in this field.

#131
[Dennis, Mac moaning, groaning]

#132
Are you two guys all right?

#133
- Yeah. - Uh, yeah.

#134
Yeah, all good. All good. Uh, and may I, uh, compliment you on your uniform?

#135
The snugness, uh, really accentuates your physique.

#136
If-If that's okay to say.

#137
Uh... It's not, but let's continue, huh?

#138
Uh, if you don't mind, can we skip to the fun parts?

#139
- You're not even letting me get started. - [blows]

#140
Sorry. My, uh, my partner here, he's just excited to save lives.

#141
Okay. Well, I applaud you for your enthusiasm,

#142
- but let's stay on track here, huh? Now... - [Dennis moaning]

#143
- [groans] Um... - Yes?

#144
When I just referred to the gentleman to my right as my partner,

#145
I meant in medicine, not in life.

#146
In life, I am very much single.

#147
[chuckles] That's great, but I wanna start this class right now, okay?

#148
[grunts] Oh, God. I-I tell you, man, I think I got the dosage off.

#149
I think I ate a little bit too much.

#150
[chuckles] Less is more. That's on me.

#151
- The what? - The hot peppers.

#152
Uh, when do we cover the dosing, the pepper dosing in the class?

#153
I don't know what you're even talking about,

#154
but I tell you what, let's talk about CPR.

#155
- Oh, I'd like to volunteer. - No, I don't... [chuckles]

#156
- You're already getting up. All right. - I'm so sorry.

#157
It's so much spicier than I thought.

#158
Now, when we get to the chest compressions,

#159
should I take your shirt off or should you take mine off?

#160
No shirts come off.

#161
Actually, I'd love to take my shirt off. I'm getting pretty sweaty.

#162
- Can we start with the dummies, please? - Okay.

#163
And hands go like so, and we want to start with compressions to the song,

#164
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha Staying alive ♪

#165
- Let me give it a shot. Do you mind? - You wanna step in?

#166
Actually, I'd love to step in here and see this thing.

#167
- Sure. - Yeah.

#168
- How's this? - Ah.

#169
That's-That's-That's a little too fast.

#170
And you see, class, I'm increasing the rate of compressions

#171
to ensure maximum blood flow.

#172
- Class, don't listen to him. - [chuckles] It's so hot!

#173
Now, class, you'll notice I am still finding a rhythm.

#174
That is way too fast.

#175
[chuckles] Well, somebody doesn't understand double time.

#176
You see, I'm pushing to a much spicier song.

#177
Is everyone familiar with the Gipsy Kings's "Bamboléo"?

#178
Ah! An excellent choice, very spicy.

#179
Speaking of spice, I brought plenty of peppers for everyone.

#180
[♪ "Bamboléo" by the Gipsy Kings plays]

#181
Gosh, that damn lawyer is gonna jam me the hell up.

#182
- Yeah. - [Frank] Hang on.

#183
Maybe I should slip him a ghost pepper.

#184
Yeah, well, that's a good idea.

#185
All right, uh, chili flakes, please.

#186
Wait. What?

#187
[Charlie] I-I need the chili flakes, please. See them?

#188
- Yeah, I see 'em. - "Yes, Chef."

#189
- What? - Say, "Yes, Chef."

#190
Why?

#191
Because the stakes are, uh, very high, you know, this is high-stakes stuff.

#192
Stakes of what?

#193
The cooking! It's-It's life-and-death stuff, man.

#194
- I need you to say, "Yes, chef." - You know what you should do?

#195
You should cook up an extra spicy meal. Really, really spicy.

#196
And I'll give it to The Lawyer. I'll trick him into eating it.

#197
And then if he's not admitted to the hospital,

#198
it would prove that I'm innocent.

#199
Okay, what if he dies?

#200
Win-win either way, right?

#201
- All right. [grunts] - Oh!

#202
- Try that, baby! [chuckles] - Good smash.

#203
- Smashed it good! - Really?

#204
You know how to do that?

#205
Yeah, it's a brick-based medium.

#206
- Look at that. - Yeah, that's my favorite part.

#207
What do you think? Same as a smash burger, right?

#208
- It's great! - Well, I added a little extra spice.

#209
- Oh, yeah. I can feel it. - I've been microdosing myself.

#210
- Hey, yo. Here we go, Frank. - Yeah, it goes right up.

#211
Your smash burger.

#212
- No, you're too late. - Yeah. Oh, sorry about that.

#213
That's because I got smashed by a Prius. [chuckles]

#214
- Ooh. Yeah. - [Dee] Whoops! Yeah.

#215
- I need some shin guards, I think. - Yeah, looks bad.

#216
[Dee] Yeah, it doesn't feel as bad.

#217
Well, Charlie already made me one, so you get no tip.

#218
- Charlie made you that? - Oh, yeah, yeah.

#219
It's basically the same exact thing as that smash burger.

#220
- Really good. - Ho-Hold on a second.

#221
- What else can you make? - I can make anything. You kidding me?

#222
Okay. Well, hold on. I'm-I'm getting an idea here.

#223
- Yeah? - Yeah.

#224
What if you help me spice up my job a little bit, right?

#225
And we make this sort of a ghost kitchen situation.

#226
We do it right here. I keep my work central,

#227
but I really get to crank out the orders a lot faster.

#228
Okay, I like it. I'll do this for you, Dee.

#229
I will, but you gotta promise me something.

#230
You gotta say, "Yes, chef," "No, chef,"

#231
"On your left, chef," "Corner, chef."

#232
These kind of things. It's gotta work that way, Dee.

#233
- It's gotta work that way. - Why would I say any of those things?

#234
'Cause we're cooking food.

#235
- Yep, just food. - It's good.

#236
Doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

#237
It's the most serious thing...

#238
- that has ever-- - Yes, chef.

#239
- Yes, chef. - Yeah?

#240
- Don't care. Yep. - Isn't that great?

#241
Wait, wait, wait. Dee, before you go,

#242
wanna spice up your bike ride with a habanero?

#243
- Coming through. Coming through! - [horns honking]

#244
On your left, bitch. [screams]

#245
- [tires screech] - [horns honking]

#246
[Dee] Yo! Look out. Look out. Look out. Look out, bitch!

#247
Move it, boner.

#248
Goddamn. Ooh!

#249
[tires squeal]

#250
[chuckles] Buddy, getting a refund on those classes

#251
and spending it on a decommissioned ambulance was the way to go.

#252
The illegality of what we're doing is spicy enough to get me off.

#253
And speaking of spice, I think we should up the dose.

#254
I think we should cool it on the peppers for a little bit.

#255
I mean, you take too much of those things and you can go temporarily blind.

#256
- Blind? That's crazy. No, you can't. - Y-Yes, you can.

#257
[dispatcher] Zebra 3? Zebra 3? You anywhere near 2nd and Race?

#258
Got a woman with an injury on the sidewalk.

#259
Second and Race? That's like a block away.

#260
- Yeah. - Maybe we should answer it.

#261
- Well, here's one issue. - What?

#262
- We are not EMTs. - Right.

#263
[EMT] This is Zebra 3. We are 20 out. Go to closer unit.

#264
[dispatcher] It's only a turned knee

#265
and a run to St. Mercy's. I'm sure she can wait.

#266
This is Flaming Pepper, new truck on the rotation.

#267
We're only about a block away. We're gonna stop by.

#268
[dispatcher] Roger that, Flaming Pepper.

#269
I'll let her know you're on the way.

#270
- [chuckles] - What are you doing?

#271
I don't know. I mean, look, what could be spicier than answering a call?

#272
Plus, it's only a hospital run. No big deal.

#273
I am intrigued that it's a woman.

#274
Pop a pepper and let's go?

#275
You know what? Let's do it.

#276
But let's-let's cool it on the peppers, all right? Let's be professional.

#277
We'll-We'll take some peppers afterwards.

#278
Professional. You got it.

#279
[siren wailing]

#280
- [Mac imitating siren wailing] - [chuckles]

#281
[both imitating siren wailing]

#282
That's probably enough of the...

#283
- It's doing it on its own. - Yeah. Yeah.

#284
- [siren wailing] - [EMT radio chatter]

#285
[siren stops]

#286
- [Mac] Ma'am? - How we doing over here, ma'am?

#287
What seems to be the problem?

#288
This crazy woman jumps the curb on her bicycle

#289
yelling nonsense about hot peppers.

#290
I think I twisted my knee. It might be sprained.

#291
- Ugh. It's terrible. - [woman] Yeah.

#292
Uh, ma'am, would you, uh, excuse us for one quick second?

#293
- Come talk to me over here. - Yeah.

#294
- Did you pepper up? - No.

#295
- Yes, you did. - No.

#296
- [sighs] Okay, I just had a little bit o-- - Goddamn it.

#297
Now you're not microdosing anymore.

#298
You've slipped into macrodosing.

#299
- Macrodosing. - Yeah.

#300
That's cool 'cause it's my name.

#301
[grunts] All right. Damn it. You know what?

#302
Give me a little bit. 'Cause I feel like I'm dipping a little.

#303
Just a little, dude.

#304
I'm not going to macrodose or anything. But, you know, a little something.

#305
- Yeah. - Oh, God. Man, that is the stuff.

#306
But it's a mild heat, right?

#307
- Holy shit. All right. Okay. - Oh, yeah. It's good.

#308
Let's save this bitch.

#309
Uh, ma'am. [sniffles] I think what you've got there is a sprain.

#310
Uh, you're gonna... [grunts] ...not wanna put anything hot on it.

#311
- Or cold. - [Dennis] Yeah. Uh, nothing hot, nothing cold.

#312
Yeah. Lukewarm, really.

#313
Ma'am, you're gonna... you're gonna wanna keep that knee lukewarm.

#314
You're gonna wanna take short, shallow breaths.

#315
[both breathing sharply]

#316
Oh, you know what? I gotta check her for a concussion

#317
- because I feel like she's acting crazy. - I-I-I didn't hit my head.

#318
- Just lay back and-- - [woman stammers]

#319
Oh, God. [screams]

#320
Oh, my eye is burning. Was there something on your thumb?

#321
It's probably unrelated.

#322
Uh, ma'am. You're becoming a bit hysterical.

#323
Why don't I do some chest compressions on you.

#324
You wanna pop that sweater off?

#325
What? No, I need to rinse my eye.

#326
Well, the sweater needs to come off.

#327
- Yeah, let's make her unconscious. - Why?

#328
I feel like this is becoming a whole thing.

#329
- What? - Okay, ma'am, we're gonna get you

#330
- to the hospital right now. - [woman groans]

#331
Dude, this is incredible. I feel so alive.

#332
[both chuckle]

#333
She definitely wants to bang me, dude.

#334
- [chuckles] Yeah, I think so. - Don't you think? Yeah.

#335
[siren blares]

#336
[♪ "Bamboléo" plays]

#337
Yo. Order up. Let's go.

#338
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

#339
[siren wailing]

#340
Wow.

#341
Whoo.

#342
- Whoo! - Whoo.

#343
- [grunting] Goddamn it. - [Mac] I got it.

#344
- Hey. Wow, he's okay. - Hey.

#345
- [siren wailing] - [meter blaring]

#346
- [Dee] Move! - [pedestrian screams]

#347
You dumb bitch.

#348
- [horn honks] - Whoo.

#349
- Yeah! All right. - [meter blaring]

#350
These are the Chipotle burritos.

#351
Chipotle burritos. Yes, chef. [grunts]

#352
How's the spice pot?

#353
Spice pot is

#354
spicy but needs more peppers.

#355
Peppers coming up. More peppers.

#356
- Here we go. - I needed a "Yes, chef" there.

#357
- Yes, chef. Yes, chef. - Yes, chef. Yes, chef!

#358
- [meter blaring] - [siren wailing]

#359
Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Let's go.

#360
[Mac] Go, go, go, go, go, go.

#361
[♪ "Bamboléo" continues playing]

#362
[siren wailing]

#363
I don't know. I don't think he's gonna make it.

#364
- Looks like he's gonna die. - He's going in and out, isn't he?

#365
- Should we pepper? - You want some pepper, sir?

#366
Goddamn it. Hands! I need hands!

#367
- Let's do it. Let's go. - [Mac] Go, go, go, go, go, Frank.

#368
- Go. Put the burger down. Go! - [Dee] Come on, Frank. Come on!

#369
[Charlie, Frank grunting]

#370
Hot fries. Hot fries. Hot fries.

#371
- [Mac, Dennis coughing] - [tires screech]

#372
Sir. [sniffles] Are you okay?

#373
I think we gotta do compressions, man.

#374
Compressions, go.

#375
Whoo! [grunts]

#376
Come on. Pick it up, grandpa.

#377
- Whoo! Oh, God! It's all seeds. - [meter blaring]

#378
It's all seeds.

#379
- [siren continues] - [Mac imitating siren]

#380
[song ends]

#381
- [Charlie] Order up. [sighs]

#382
We did it, Charlie. This chili is maxed out. I mean, I gotta go.

#383
Oh, what? What? No. [stammers] You can't go. Come on, I got orders, bud.

#384
[stammers] I gotta go trick The Lawyer.

#385
Come on, I need my expediter.

#386
[Charlie] What? I'll be in here all by myself?

#387
Come on, Frank, I need you, buddy.

#388
- Hey, yo! There he is. - Oh!

#389
- What do you got for us, buddy? - [Charlie] Oh.

#390
- Anything for my first responders. - [Mac grunts]

#391
- [Charlie cheering] - My guy. My guy. My guy. Hey! All right.

#392
Whoo-hoo! [grunting]

#393
- Oh, yeah. - That's hot.

#394
[screams]

#395
Getting high on your own supply over there?

#396
- [Charlie laughs] - You mind?

#397
Yeah. Well, I'm in the weeds, boys.

#398
You know, I need it just to get by.

#399
How's it going for you fellas? How's it going out there in the streets?

#400
Highs and lows. I don't love the blood.

#401
A lot of blood in my line of work too.

#402
[chuckles] Well, there shouldn't be.

#403
Yeah, but you get the finger. I got Frank once or twice.

#404
- There really shouldn't be-- - It's life-and-death stuff.

#405
Not really though.

#406
- It is for the animals, I guess. [laughs] - [Dennis laughs]

#407
I always feel like I could use a little more action, you know what I mean?

#408
- [coughs] You want more spice? - I want more spice.

#409
- [Charlie] Yeah? - Yeah.

#410
Okay. I'm done.

#411
- Pepper me. - Oh!

#412
Bingo!

#413
Dang, what happened to you?

#414
Oh, bike got smashed by a crosstown bus.

#415
- Smashing ups everywhere. - Interesting.

#416
Hey, this-this-this might be the peppers talking here, but, um, go with me.

#417
I'm sensing an opportunity to smash all of these ideas together...

#418
[gasps] ...and really spice up our lives.

#419
Now I'm gonna float out something that I believe to be...

#420
[pants] ...a very reasonable proposition.

#421
- [Dee pants, coughs] - [Charlie coughs]

#422
What is it?

#423
[siren wailing]

#424
Okay, I got two smash burgers and a side of curly fries.

#425
- On your left! - Oh, yeah, thank you.

#426
- Thank you what? - Thank you, chef!

#427
- Corner! - [tires squeal]

#428
- [tires squeal] - [horn honks]

#429
[both laughing]

#430
This is the spice I was looking for, baby!

#431
Oh.

#432
Well, well, well. Hmm. New office, huh?

#433
Popcorn ceiling, right next to the highway. This place is trash.

#434
Mr. Reynolds, always a pleasure.

#435
I wanna talk about a settlement.

#436
I bet you do,

#437
because if I were your attorney,

#438
I would be begging for the same thing.

#439
But unfortunately for you...

#440
- Whoo! - ...I am not.

#441
My depth perception is terrible.

#442
Why?

#443
Because of the goddamn eye.

#444
What happened to your eye?

#445
Are you serious?

#446
Let's talk about this like gentlemen.

#447
I brought you some chili.

#448
Okay, I'm not eating that. I'm sure it's poison.

#449
Besides, I ordered for myself.

#450
No, my food's better.

#451
And-And there's nothing the matter with that chili.

#452
That is tasty chili.

#453
- I-I promise. - Hey. Lawyer.

#454
- Not now, Dee. - He Postmated. I'm delivering.

#455
Okay-- I don't want any food delivered by any of you.

#456
Oh. Guess what, bozo? I don't care whether you eat it or not,

#457
but if you don't tip me, I'm taking out the other eye.

#458
- Eat mine. - No.

#459
I'll eat some first. Yeah.

#460
- I-I got my own spoon. - All right, this is bullshit.

#461
If you're not gonna tip me, I'm eating your lunch.

#462
- Be my guest. I don't care. - What do you think about this?

#463
[both moaning]

#464
This is delicious.

#465
- [Dee] Yep. - A little hot. Hot, hot, hot.

#466
Mine too. Not-Not in temperature

#467
so much as it's the tiniest bit spicy.

#468
[both mumble]

#469
Really enjoying this a lot. [pants]

#470
- [chuckling] - I've got to take a knee.

#471
Oh! Shit, shit, shit, shit.

#472
[groans] How can you possibly make a burger so spicy?

#473
[both mumbling]

#474
- This is so hot. - [Dee] You've got to try this.

#475
[The Lawyer chuckling]

#476
- [Frank choking] - I'll share that with you.

#477
[Dee] Call 911! [screams]

#478
[dispatcher] Got a possible code W59 in progress at Snyder and Pattison.

#479
- [Charlie] Pepper? - Pattison? That's like right here.

#480
- Pepper? Pepper, anyone? - Oh, yes. Absolutely.

#481
Yeah. W59? What is that?

#482
- Oh! - Snake bite. That's kind of exciting.

#483
Whoa! That's very interesting to me.

#484
I've always wanted to suck out snake venom, you know this.

#485
- Flaming Pepper taking the call. - Let's take it.

#486
Come on, baby. We're taking the call.

#487
- [Dee screaming] - [Frank choking]

#488
Goddamn it. I'm dying.

#489
Oh, come on.

#490
What is it? What's going? You guys aren't snake bit, are you?

#491
Dee thought that was the only way we could get you guys to come up here.

#492
We said it was a snake bite.

#493
- I was right. - [The Lawyer] Guys, this is wonderful.

#494
I have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on here,

#495
but I guarantee you it's going to help me in my suit.

#496
I love watching all of you fail.

#497
- Cheers. - [Frank and Dee panting]

#498
[laughs] I got you!

#499
- [Frank laughs] - What...

#500
What's in that?

#501
That is 100% juiced Carolina Reaper tea.

#502
- [choking] - I got him. [chuckles]

#503
[Frank] Got him. Reaper tea. [chuckles]

#504
[The Lawyer] Somebody...

#505
What's happening to me?

#506
- [The Lawyer choking] - Are you all right?

#507
We're getting close, guys. Almost there. Just hang on.

#508
How we looking back there?

#509
He's gonna die!

#510
Bamboléo. Bamboléo. Bamboléo. Bamboléo. Bamboléo.

#511
Dee, get those fries out of the fryer, stat.

#512
It just hurts so bad. You're overspicing the food, chef.

#513
What are they doing?

#514
- Enough with the orders. - No, no. Just one more drop.

#515
[Frank] He's gonna die! Order, order.

#516
- [siren wailing] - [tires squeal]

#517
[screams]

#518
[groans] Oh, God. It burns! Oh, shit, it burns!

#519
[Charlie] Goddamn it, Dennis. You have to yell "corner!"

#520
- [pants] I can't see. - [Mac] What?

#521
Goddamn it! I think I overdosed on the peppers.

#522
I told you this would happen, Mac.

#523
- [siren wailing] - [grunts]

#524
I can't see. Goddamn it! Goddamn you!

#525
[Charlie, Frank screaming]

#526
[Dee] Oh, fuck!

#527
- [siren stops] - [car alarm blaring]

#528
- [gavel raps] - [judge] All right, all right, all right.

#529
I've-I've heard enough.

#530
Joyriding through the city,

#531
serving food without a permit in an unlicensed ambulance,

#532
all while impersonating medical professionals.

#533
For what? Your own twisted amusement?

#534
What have you got to say for yourself?

#535
I swear there were other people there.

#536
I was strapped into a gurney. I passed out.

#537
Uh, they must have put me in an EMT uniform and-and-and fled the scene.

#538
Thirty days, Philly Correctional.

#539
Next case.

#540
[♪ "Bamboléo" plays]

#541
[song ends]

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