Home » Scrubs » S05E19 — His Story III

Scrubs

Season 5, Episode 19 — His Story III

#1
Turk and Carla were converting my old bedroom into a nursery,

#2
Turk and Carla were converting my old bedroom into a nursery,

#3
so I helped paint a mural for the new baby.

#4
- Done. - Oh, hell no!

#5
Is that big, ugly one shooting laser beams into the crib?

#6
Is that big, ugly one shooting laser beams into the crib?

#7
That's Optimus Prime.

#8
I don't think he'd appreciate you calling him the big, ugly one.

#9
I don't think he'd appreciate you calling him the big, ugly one.

#10
- No, he wouldn't. - No.

#11
- No, he wouldn't. - No.

#12
Not Optimus.

#13
If Junior gets scared, he can always climb into bed with us.

#14
If Junior gets scared, he can always climb into bed with us.

#15
- That's what I did with my mom. - What do you mean "did"?

#16
Last Christmas, I walked in on Turk and his mom cuddling together in bed.

#17
Last Christmas, I walked in on Turk and his mom cuddling together in bed.

#18
Turk gets defensive when it comes to his mother.

#19
You're jealous 'cause your mom's dead.

#20
You're jealous 'cause your mom's dead.

#21
Whoa! We should probably take a break.

#22
No, you finish building that crib like you promised.

#23
You are driving to the cemetery, cleaning up my mom's grave,

#24
You are driving to the cemetery, cleaning up my mom's grave,

#25
and asking her for forgiveness.

#26
and asking her for forgiveness.

#27
I hate having to ask for forgiveness.

#28
How's my mom doing?

#29
How's my mom doing?

#30
I asked if she hated me, and the sprinklers came on.

#31
Give her time. She's only been dead for three years.

#32
Give her time. She's only been dead for three years.

#33
But, baby, it's too soon to be putting a nursery together,

#34
But, baby, it's too soon to be putting a nursery together,

#35
test driving minivans, or buying baby monitors.

#36
test driving minivans, or buying baby monitors.

#37
I can't get this crib together.

#38
I can't get this crib together.

#39
And can somebody please bring me a glass of water?

#40
You go this time.

#41
Thank you.

#42
Thank you.

#43
Thinking of Turk and Carla becoming parents

#44
made me think of my mom and how much she probably misses me.

#45
made me think of my mom and how much she probably misses me.

#46
I bet she wishes she could see what life is like around here through my eyes.

#47
I bet she wishes she could see what life is like around here through my eyes.

#48
And that's why I strapped my video camera to my head.

#49
- Morning, weirdo. - Lonnie.

#50
It was the perfect idea. She got to meet my superiors.

#51
It was the perfect idea. She got to meet my superiors.

#52
That's right, the old man stole some ice cream.

#53
I even got some great footage of Dr Cox.

#54
I even got some great footage of Dr Cox.

#55
- Where the hell have you been? - I'm making a video postcard.

#56
- Where the hell have you been? - I'm making a video postcard.

#57
- Do you have a message for my mom? - No.

#58
- Do you have a message for my mom? - No.

#59
But since she brought you into the world,

#60
I do have a message for her uterus.

#61
I do have a message for her uterus.

#62
Bad uterus! Don't do that anymore.

#63
Bad uterus! Don't do that anymore.

#64
She had a hysterectomy, but I'm sure I can just edit over that part.

#65
Let's go see Mr McNair.

#66
Mr McNair had locked-in syndrome,

#67
Mr McNair had locked-in syndrome,

#68
a paralysis so severe he could only communicate

#69
through a computer that responds to his eye movements.

#70
through a computer that responds to his eye movements.

#71
- Check his vitals, Eva. - Why does he call you a girl's name?

#72
- Check his vitals, Eva. - Why does he call you a girl's name?

#73
Thank you for asking, Mr McNair.

#74
Thank you for asking, Mr McNair.

#75
You see, the thing about Dr Cox is the closer he feels to a person,

#76
You see, the thing about Dr Cox is the closer he feels to a person,

#77
the more he needs to push them away.

#78
When he calls me Eva, he's actually saying, "J.D., I care about you."

#79
When he calls me Eva, he's actually saying, "J.D., I care about you."

#80
- Vulnerable people like... - Oh, my God. I get it now.

#81
- Vulnerable people like... - Oh, my God. I get it now.

#82
Carol. Carol, Carol, Carol, Carol...

#83
- Now you're being a jerk. - Carol...

#84
- Now you're being a jerk. - Carol...

#85
- Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! - Carol, Carol, Carol...

#86
- (Whistles) Newbie! - What?

#87
- (Whistles) Newbie! - What?

#88
I'm relatively certain the computer is broken.

#89
- Carol, Carol, Carol... - My bad.

#90
- Carol, Carol, Carol... - My bad.

#91
I felt bad for Mr McNair, but I was off until six tonight,

#92
I felt bad for Mr McNair, but I was off until six tonight,

#93
so I decided to grab a quick nap in the sun.

#94
so I decided to grab a quick nap in the sun.

#95
J.D: What the? (Yells)

#96
# I can't do this all on my own

#97
# I can't do this all on my own

#98
# No, I know I'm no superman

#99
# No, I know I'm no superman

#100
# I'm no superman #

#101
- Where the hell is J.D? - He's off until six.

#102
- Where the hell is J.D? - He's off until six.

#103
Any second now, he's gonna walk through that door, lost in his thoughts.

#104
Any second now, he's gonna walk through that door, lost in his thoughts.

#105
With Dorian taken care of, I'm not sure how I should spend my day.

#106
With Dorian taken care of, I'm not sure how I should spend my day.

#107
I suppose I could clean. (Chuckles)

#108
I suppose I could clean. (Chuckles)

#109
God help me, that one still makes me laugh.

#110
God help me, that one still makes me laugh.

#111
Oh, no, it's black Kojak and Scary Nurse-Wife.

#112
Oh, no, it's black Kojak and Scary Nurse-Wife.

#113
I'll get rid of them with an innocuous compliment.

#114
You are glowing.

#115
You are glowing.

#116
Free and clear.

#117
Free and clear.

#118
Have you seen J.D?

#119
Where am I?

#120
Where am I?

#121
Hello?

#122
Anyone?

#123
Anyone?

#124
No, I don't know where he is.

#125
No, I don't know where he is.

#126
I love that adrenaline rush you get from lying to someone's face.

#127
I love that adrenaline rush you get from lying to someone's face.

#128
Do it again.

#129
Dr Kelso,

#130
I must say that your nose hair is not long and creepy like most old guys.

#131
I must say that your nose hair is not long and creepy like most old guys.

#132
Thank you.

#133
Thank you.

#134
Hey, Perry, great shirt!

#135
Hey, Perry, great shirt!

#136
Wish I'd thought of athletic apparel when going through my midlife crisis.

#137
Wish I'd thought of athletic apparel when going through my midlife crisis.

#138
It'd have been cheaper than a cigarette boat named Dr Feelgood.

#139
It'd have been cheaper than a cigarette boat named Dr Feelgood.

#140
(Laughs)

#141
That laughing had better not be aimed in my direction, bro.

#142
That laughing had better not be aimed in my direction, bro.

#143
Bro? Dude, bros don't even use "bro."

#144
Bro? Dude, bros don't even use "bro."

#145
You're not as hip as you think you are.

#146
You're not as hip as you think you are.

#147
And you are?

#148
I'm black. God knew my people would go through struggles,

#149
I'm black. God knew my people would go through struggles,

#150
so he gave us a lifetime supply of cool.

#151
so he gave us a lifetime supply of cool.

#152
Like he knew white people would be rhythmically challenged

#153
and he gave you this dance.

#154
and he gave you this dance.

#155
You're black?

#156
You're black?

#157
'Cause, last I checked, you had a nerdy white best friend,

#158
'Cause, last I checked, you had a nerdy white best friend,

#159
you enjoy Neil Diamond,

#160
and you damn sure act like a black guy.

#161
and you damn sure act like a black guy.

#162
And these, my friend, are all characteristics of white guys.

#163
And these, my friend, are all characteristics of white guys.

#164
Now, please understand, I'm a huge supporter of the NAACP.

#165
Now, please understand, I'm a huge supporter of the NAACP.

#166
Stands for the National Association

#167
For the Advancement of Colored People.

#168
For the Advancement of Colored People.

#169
And quite frankly, I always thought they should change "Colored People"

#170
And quite frankly, I always thought they should change "Colored People"

#171
to "African-Americans."

#172
But then it wouldn't be the NAACP,

#173
But then it wouldn't be the NAACP,

#174
it would be the "N quad A," or NAAAA.

#175
it would be the "N quad A," or NAAAA.

#176
I know this probably sounds like a digression,

#177
but it actually leads me back to my original point:

#178
but it actually leads me back to my original point:

#179
Do I think you're black?

#180
Do I think you're black?

#181
Nah.

#182
Knock, knock.

#183
Knock, knock.

#184
Who's there? Nurse Mophead.

#185
Nurse Mophead, who? You have a mophead.

#186
Nurse Mophead, who? You have a mophead.

#187
Well, your new computer should be here tonight.

#188
Well, your new computer should be here tonight.

#189
She got out of here in a hurry, didn't she?

#190
I know what that's like, when people say the minimum.

#191
I know what that's like, when people say the minimum.

#192
With me it's usually, "Mop that floor.

#193
With me it's usually, "Mop that floor.

#194
Clean that counter. Stop provoking that bear."

#195
Want me to keep you company?

#196
Want me to keep you company?

#197
I don't mind. I'm just working on my own stuff.

#198
I don't mind. I'm just working on my own stuff.

#199
I'm a bit of an inventor. I'm gonna show you my latest one:

#200
Pen straw.

#201
Pen straw.

#202
Perfect.

#203
Except I don't like that cola.

#204
Except I don't like that cola.

#205
It tastes like ink.

#206
But that's just one. I got a million ideas.

#207
But that's just one. I got a million ideas.

#208
I don't care if he is on the first floor, I need this cleaned up now!

#209
I don't care if he is on the first floor, I need this cleaned up now!

#210
I don't care if he is on the first floor, I need this cleaned up now!

#211
I'm here. Open up the window.

#212
That was quick.

#213
That was quick.

#214
I call it the Hover Hoover. Where suction meets the sky.

#215
I call it the Hover Hoover. Where suction meets the sky.

#216
That's a good question. Only problem is I've answered it five times.

#217
That's a good question. Only problem is I've answered it five times.

#218
Dr Reid, would you mind explaining to me why you called the chief of surgery

#219
Dr Reid, would you mind explaining to me why you called the chief of surgery

#220
to consult on a cellulitis patient yesterday?

#221
to consult on a cellulitis patient yesterday?

#222
I wasn't even here yesterday.

#223
I wasn't even here yesterday.

#224
Your interns were. Their mistakes are yours.

#225
Whether it's an unnecessary consult, or his ridiculous haircut.

#226
Whether it's an unnecessary consult, or his ridiculous haircut.

#227
This cost $60.

#228
This cost $60.

#229
Let's hope your stylist put that money towards rehab.

#230
Let's hope your stylist put that money towards rehab.

#231
Darn! I'm sick and tired of your careless mistakes.

#232
Why isn't this bleeder on telemetry? I know you had a 12-hour shift yesterday,

#233
Why isn't this bleeder on telemetry? I know you had a 12-hour shift yesterday,

#234
but that is no excuse for not turning in your histories.

#235
but that is no excuse for not turning in your histories.

#236
You dragged me to dinner and made me play Scrabble.

#237
You dragged me to dinner and made me play Scrabble.

#238
How you spend your private life isn't my responsibility.

#239
How you spend your private life isn't my responsibility.

#240
Fine. I'll do them tonight.

#241
You're taking me to the movies. Get on the ball.

#242
You're taking me to the movies. Get on the ball.

#243
All of you, go work.

#244
All of you, go work.

#245
Wow.

#246
Aren't you the big badass attending?

#247
Aren't you the big badass attending?

#248
It's time for them to sink or swim. I got to where I am on my own.

#249
It's time for them to sink or swim. I got to where I am on my own.

#250
Nobody helped you in the beginning?

#251
Dr Cox was my attending. He kept track of the times he made me cry.

#252
Dr Cox was my attending. He kept track of the times he made me cry.

#253
Twenty-seven, counting this morning.

#254
Twenty-seven, counting this morning.

#255
Yeah, I'm PMS'ing and he made fun of my shoes.

#256
Yeah, I'm PMS'ing and he made fun of my shoes.

#257
Laverne, what are you doing out here?

#258
Laverne, what are you doing out here?

#259
Tonight's date night with Mr Roberts

#260
and I like to prime the pump by watching the young men sweat.

#261
and I like to prime the pump by watching the young men sweat.

#262
Hey, Dr Cox, if I wasn't a black man, could I do this?

#263
Hey, Dr Cox, if I wasn't a black man, could I do this?

#264
That's game, all right? That's game!

#265
- You got next? - Yeah, I got next.

#266
- You got next? - Yeah, I got next.

#267
They call me the Candyman 'cause my moves are so sweet.

#268
They call me The Pig, because I say sexist and derogatory things to women.

#269
They call me The Pig, because I say sexist and derogatory things to women.

#270
Lonnie, play with Dr Cox.

#271
Let's go!

#272
Let's go!

#273
Look at the glasses! Look at the mouthpiece!

#274
Dr Turk is not aware that Lonnie was all-conference at Villanova.

#275
Dr Turk is not aware that Lonnie was all-conference at Villanova.

#276
Would you go ahead and thank what's-his-name for me?

#277
Would you go ahead and thank what's-his-name for me?

#278
- Jesus? - That's him.

#279
- Jesus? - That's him.

#280
- Let's go. - Take ball.

#281
Lisa, why did you order 100 units of insulin for Mrs Best?

#282
Lisa, why did you order 100 units of insulin for Mrs Best?

#283
No, that's only 10 units. I put a smiley face after the zero.

#284
No, that's only 10 units. I put a smiley face after the zero.

#285
Look, Lisa, you have to be crystal clear with your medication orders.

#286
Look, Lisa, you have to be crystal clear with your medication orders.

#287
OK, it's causing a bit of a seizure.

#288
OK, it's causing a bit of a seizure.

#289
Hey, Janitor!

#290
Come here! Hold her legs down, please!

#291
Come here! Hold her legs down, please!

#292
This is it! I'm in the show! Dr Jan-itor.

#293
This is it! I'm in the show! Dr Jan-itor.

#294
We'll give her an amp of B50.

#295
We'll give her an amp of B50.

#296
This is easy. Just like drowning someone.

#297
OK. You can let her legs go now. I think we're good.

#298
OK. You can let her legs go now. I think we're good.

#299
I didn't see the demon leave the body.

#300
I'm sure it did.

#301
I'm sure it did.

#302
Hey, Janitor, good job.

#303
Good job.

#304
Dr Reid will kill me when she finds out about this.

#305
Relax. I'll go talk to Dr Reid. It won't be a big deal.

#306
Relax. I'll go talk to Dr Reid. It won't be a big deal.

#307
What?!

#308
What?!

#309
I'm gonna make someone burn for this. Who did it, Carla?

#310
I'm gonna make someone burn for this. Who did it, Carla?

#311
I didn't realize how much I picked up from working here.

#312
I didn't realize how much I picked up from working here.

#313
I heard her yell, "Hold this woman's legs down," and I just knew what to do.

#314
I heard her yell, "Hold this woman's legs down," and I just knew what to do.

#315
Good for you.

#316
Good for you.

#317
Now I've got to go meet my husband at the bus station

#318
and pretend to be a street walker.

#319
Enjoy your date night.

#320
Enjoy your date night.

#321
OK, Mr Cool Guy, you had your moment of glory.

#322
No need to make a big deal out of it.

#323
No need to make a big deal out of it.

#324
Hey!

#325
Slow down, buddy. What's the hurry? Come here!

#326
Slow down, buddy. What's the hurry? Come here!

#327
I want to tell you a little story about a hero.

#328
I want to tell you a little story about a hero.

#329
You know what? The hell with it. It feels good to get a little attention.

#330
You know what? The hell with it. It feels good to get a little attention.

#331
I'll tell you one thing, it beats falling flat on your ass.

#332
I'll tell you one thing, it beats falling flat on your ass.

#333
Holy moly!

#334
Holy moly!

#335
That would've been really embarrassing if you were black.

#336
That would've been really embarrassing if you were black.

#337
Great.

#338
Seriously, Carla, I need to know who's responsible for this.

#339
Seriously, Carla, I need to know who's responsible for this.

#340
Or lying to cover someone's ass.

#341
Or lying to cover someone's ass.

#342
I don't know.

#343
It was just a clerical error. There's no way to trace it.

#344
It was just a clerical error. There's no way to trace it.

#345
Was I brave? "Brave" is a pretty strong word.

#346
Was I brave? "Brave" is a pretty strong word.

#347
Perhaps the better term is "valiant."

#348
Perhaps the better term is "valiant."

#349
Off you go.

#350
Anyway, for once I didn't feel like a jerk.

#351
Is he still talking about holding that patient?

#352
Is he still talking about holding that patient?

#353
Give him a break. You know how hard it is for us to bust our humps every day.

#354
Give him a break. You know how hard it is for us to bust our humps every day.

#355
Imagine how it feels being here knowing you don't make a difference.

#356
Imagine how it feels being here knowing you don't make a difference.

#357
Sings: Drill-fork It can drill and fork

#358
Sings: Drill-fork It can drill and fork

#359
# Mostly fork #

#360
I don't care what those people said. I know I make a difference around here.

#361
I don't care what those people said. I know I make a difference around here.

#362
Hey, Jill.

#363
Hey, Jill.

#364
They don't know how different it would be if I wasn't here.

#365
They don't know how different it would be if I wasn't here.

#366
Hey, Jill.

#367
Yep, a lot of lives would change.

#368
Yep, a lot of lives would change.

#369
I am gonna prove that to them right now. I am gonna fix your computer.

#370
I am gonna prove that to them right now. I am gonna fix your computer.

#371
I just gotta get my real tools. I've turned these into eating utensils.

#372
I just gotta get my real tools. I've turned these into eating utensils.

#373
I just gotta get my real tools. I've turned these into eating utensils.

#374
Dig in.

#375
- You know what time it is? - 4. 15.

#376
- 3.30. - Oh, thank goodness.

#377
- 3.30. - Oh, thank goodness.

#378
- I thought I was running late. - I do love to lie.

#379
- I thought I was running late. - I do love to lie.

#380
Look at me. Keith, what does it mean when I'm frowning?

#381
Look at me. Keith, what does it mean when I'm frowning?

#382
You're feeling insecure and suspicious that I think someone on television

#383
You're feeling insecure and suspicious that I think someone on television

#384
is prettier than you.

#385
At work, Keith.

#386
Keith was half right. This face means

#387
that I am suspicious. I was reviewing records.

#388
that I am suspicious. I was reviewing records.

#389
Mrs Best received an inordinate amount of insulin.

#390
Mrs Best received an inordinate amount of insulin.

#391
- I wanna know who screwed up. - Elliot?

#392
- I wanna know who screwed up. - Elliot?

#393
You're wasting your time. You know how interns stick together.

#394
You're wasting your time. You know how interns stick together.

#395
- They'll never rat each other out. - I am sleeping with one of the interns.

#396
- They'll never rat each other out. - I am sleeping with one of the interns.

#397
Seeing as I've gotten Keith to pee sitting down so there's no splatter,

#398
Seeing as I've gotten Keith to pee sitting down so there's no splatter,

#399
I'm betting I'll be able to get him to talk.

#400
I'm betting I'll be able to get him to talk.

#401
Keith!

#402
Meet me in the caf in half an hour.

#403
Meet me in the caf in half an hour.

#404
Keith, you better not tell her who did it.

#405
Keith, you better not tell her who did it.

#406
But Elliot scares me.

#407
But Elliot scares me.

#408
Elliot is a blonde, 108-pound ski pole from a cul-de-sac in Connecticut.

#409
Elliot is a blonde, 108-pound ski pole from a cul-de-sac in Connecticut.

#410
I am an underpaid pregnant nurse from the block,

#411
who, over the next six months, will become fatter and angrier.

#412
who, over the next six months, will become fatter and angrier.

#413
- Now, who are you really afraid of? - The fatty.

#414
- Now, who are you really afraid of? - The fatty.

#415
Be careful, Keith.

#416
Be careful, Keith.

#417
Oh, I love it!

#418
Oh, I love it!

#419
And you know, they say it's the safest thing we can do for our baby.

#420
And you know, they say it's the safest thing we can do for our baby.

#421
- Can we get it? - No. No, no, no.

#422
Let's take it back before somebody sees me. As a matter of fact, get down!

#423
Let's take it back before somebody sees me. As a matter of fact, get down!

#424
Hey!

#425
Hey!

#426
Hello, that's a nice ride, huh, Dexter?

#427
Hello, that's a nice ride, huh, Dexter?

#428
Hate to bother you, but could you explain again

#429
Hate to bother you, but could you explain again

#430
what it's like to be a young, hip black guy?

#431
You see, Dr Cox, what I'm gonna do is we're gonna pimp this out.

#432
You see, Dr Cox, what I'm gonna do is we're gonna pimp this out.

#433
We're gonna throw some 22s on it, put some spinners on the 22s...

#434
We're gonna throw some 22s on it, put some spinners on the 22s...

#435
And a DVD player so the kids can watch Elmo.

#436
And a DVD player so the kids can watch Elmo.

#437
You're killing me.

#438
You're killing me.

#439
Sometimes, around here, it feels like humiliation is contagious.

#440
Sometimes, around here, it feels like humiliation is contagious.

#441
Mr McNair, I didn't exactly fix your computer.

#442
Mr McNair, I didn't exactly fix your computer.

#443
I think I might have voided your warranty.

#444
I think I might have voided your warranty.

#445
Elliot, I am not gonna tell you who messed up with Mrs Best.

#446
Elliot, I am not gonna tell you who messed up with Mrs Best.

#447
Oh, no problem. I just wanted to grab a cup of coffee.

#448
Oh, no problem. I just wanted to grab a cup of coffee.

#449
Oh, and to introduce you to my mom.

#450
Mom. That makes me sound so old.

#451
Mom. That makes me sound so old.

#452
I had C-sections with all my kids, so everything is as it was down there.

#453
I had C-sections with all my kids, so everything is as it was down there.

#454
Very nice to meet you, Mrs Reid.

#455
Very nice to meet you, Mrs Reid.

#456
You and Elliot would have such cute babies.

#457
She's only got about five more years to pop one out.

#458
She's only got about five more years to pop one out.

#459
- Have you ever seen chubby Elliot? - No.

#460
- Have you ever seen chubby Elliot? - No.

#461
If you want to, break up and wait a couple of weeks.

#462
If you want to, break up and wait a couple of weeks.

#463
When she's depressed, she hits the Doritos like diamonds are at the bottom.

#464
When she's depressed, she hits the Doritos like diamonds are at the bottom.

#465
Love you too, Mom.

#466
That's your dad. How did you get this number?

#467
That's your dad. How did you get this number?

#468
Like her? If you don't tell me which intern messed up,

#469
Like her? If you don't tell me which intern messed up,

#470
I'll beg her to move here.

#471
She's just a little weird, Elliot. I can handle weird.

#472
She's just a little weird, Elliot. I can handle weird.

#473
She's just a little weird, Elliot. I can handle weird.

#474
I'm sorry.

#475
The light just hit you so perfectly, I had to have a taste.

#476
The light just hit you so perfectly, I had to have a taste.

#477
- No, not you. - It was Lisa.

#478
- No, not you. - It was Lisa.

#479
I would've told you earlier, but someone told me not to.

#480
I would've told you earlier, but someone told me not to.

#481
Who told you not to?

#482
Baby, you're not really bothered by what Dr Cox said, are you?

#483
Baby, you're not really bothered by what Dr Cox said, are you?

#484
- You know you're my black prince. - That's not it.

#485
- You know you're my black prince. - That's not it.

#486
I know I'm black. I'm reminded all the time.

#487
I know I'm black. I'm reminded all the time.

#488
Patient doesn't want a black doctor, I know the score to every NBA game.

#489
Patient doesn't want a black doctor, I know the score to every NBA game.

#490
I told you what happened last week

#491
when the new board member met the surgical staff.

#492
when the new board member met the surgical staff.

#493
Nice to meet you.

#494
Nice to meet you.

#495
Nice to meet you.

#496
Nice to meet you.

#497
Hey, what's up, dawg?

#498
Hey, what's up, dawg?

#499
Nice to meet you.

#500
It's not even about that.

#501
It's about the nursery. It's about that stupid minivan.

#502
It's about the nursery. It's about that stupid minivan.

#503
I don't know if you know this, but overnight I went from Chris Turk, stud,

#504
I don't know if you know this, but overnight I went from Chris Turk, stud,

#505
to Grandpa Turk, who wears overalls and does embarrassing dances at cookouts.

#506
to Grandpa Turk, who wears overalls and does embarrassing dances at cookouts.

#507
to Grandpa Turk, who wears overalls and does embarrassing dances at cookouts.

#508
You do that now.

#509
But in a cool way.

#510
But in a cool way.

#511
Hey. Thanks to your little telling-me-the wrong-time prank,

#512
Hey. Thanks to your little telling-me-the wrong-time prank,

#513
I was 45 minutes late for my Oriental massage.

#514
I was 45 minutes late for my Oriental massage.

#515
Which meant that instead of Pang-Wa, I had to settle for Ching-Lau.

#516
Which meant that instead of Pang-Wa, I had to settle for Ching-Lau.

#517
- So? - Ching-Lau is a dude!

#518
- So? - Ching-Lau is a dude!

#519
You know, I've accepted the fact that you're useless around here.

#520
You know, I've accepted the fact that you're useless around here.

#521
Maybe you could just try a little harder not to make things worse.

#522
Maybe you could just try a little harder not to make things worse.

#523
Know what he doesn't get? I could have been a janitor anywhere.

#524
Know what he doesn't get? I could have been a janitor anywhere.

#525
When I got out of college, I had offers. Morgan Stanley, DuPont.

#526
When I got out of college, I had offers. Morgan Stanley, DuPont.

#527
I even considered taking a year off and cleaning my way across Europe.

#528
I even considered taking a year off and cleaning my way across Europe.

#529
But no, I chose a hospital.

#530
I'm not kidding myself. I don't have the most important job in the world,

#531
I'm not kidding myself. I don't have the most important job in the world,

#532
but I work in a place that helps people, and I always thought I was part of that.

#533
but I work in a place that helps people, and I always thought I was part of that.

#534
Who cares?

#535
Who cares?

#536
- Have you seen Carla? - Nope.

#537
- Have you seen Carla? - Nope.

#538
My turn. Have you seen how stupid you look when you do your angry quick-walk?

#539
My turn. Have you seen how stupid you look when you do your angry quick-walk?

#540
Carla covered for one of my interns and then lied to my face about it.

#541
Carla covered for one of my interns and then lied to my face about it.

#542
Come on. Of course she did.

#543
If an intern got hammered and stripped of what little self-confidence they have

#544
If an intern got hammered and stripped of what little self-confidence they have

#545
every time they messed up, there wouldn't be any.

#546
every time they messed up, there wouldn't be any.

#547
Luckily, Carla happens to have been here long enough

#548
Luckily, Carla happens to have been here long enough

#549
to identify when someone needs to be protected.

#550
to identify when someone needs to be protected.

#551
- These kids need to stand on their... - You got that right.

#552
Because you definitely got where you are on your own.

#553
Because you definitely got where you are on your own.

#554
- You sure didn't give me any help. - I didn't say I did.

#555
- You sure didn't give me any help. - I didn't say I did.

#556
It's OK. It's not a big deal.

#557
- But Dr Cox is gonna kill me. - Dr Cox doesn't have to find out.

#558
- But Dr Cox is gonna kill me. - Dr Cox doesn't have to find out.

#559
Promise you'll practise repositioning the Swans.

#560
Promise you'll practise repositioning the Swans.

#561
- I promise. - OK.

#562
- I promise. - OK.

#563
Turk, I get it.

#564
Turk, I get it.

#565
Having a baby changes things.

#566
I just don't want to say goodbye to the life we have now.

#567
I just don't want to say goodbye to the life we have now.

#568
Baby, you don't have to.

#569
We'll still have fun, go to bars, go dancing...

#570
We'll still have fun, go to bars, go dancing...

#571
- Really? - No.

#572
- Really? - No.

#573
We'll have a baby. That would be crazy.

#574
Just focus on the positives. For instance, we'll still have lots of sex.

#575
Just focus on the positives. For instance, we'll still have lots of sex.

#576
Just focus on the positives. For instance, we'll still have lots of sex.

#577
- Really? - No!

#578
But I can tell you that this is normal.

#579
But I can tell you that this is normal.

#580
You'll get through it.

#581
You'll get through it.

#582
Come to think of it, what would really help me get through it...

#583
Come to think of it, what would really help me get through it...

#584
Come to think of it, what would really help me get through it...

#585
Man, you're gullible today.

#586
Man, you're gullible today.

#587
Well, Mr McNair, I hope you don't mind me hanging out all day talking to you.

#588
Well, Mr McNair, I hope you don't mind me hanging out all day talking to you.

#589
Well, Mr McNair, I hope you don't mind me hanging out all day talking to you.

#590
I don't think you do mind. I got a seventh sense about that.

#591
I don't think you do mind. I got a seventh sense about that.

#592
My sixth sense is I can tell when squirrels are afraid.

#593
Anyway, I know you lost your computer

#594
Anyway, I know you lost your computer

#595
and I thought maybe you were a little bit Ionely.

#596
and I thought maybe you were a little bit Ionely.

#597
I've been Ionely around here a couple times.

#598
I've been Ionely around here a couple times.

#599
I don't know. I just hope I helped.

#600
I don't know. I just hope I helped.

#601
Nobody's buying it. Your new computer is finally here. Sorry it took so long.

#602
Nobody's buying it. Your new computer is finally here. Sorry it took so long.

#603
- What time is it? - 6.00.

#604
- What time is it? - 6.00.

#605
How was your day?

#606
How was your day?

#607
Cold.

#608
Now help him up so he thinks there's hope for our relationship yet.

#609
Now help him up so he thinks there's hope for our relationship yet.

#610
Even though the Janitor had basically kidnapped me,

#611
when he helped me up, I felt there was hope for our relationship yet.

#612
when he helped me up, I felt there was hope for our relationship yet.

#613
when he helped me up, I felt there was hope for our relationship yet.

#614
Being locked up all day makes you appreciate the things that matter.

#615
Being locked up all day makes you appreciate the things that matter.

#616
Did I ever thank you for all the help you've given me over the years?

#617
Did I ever thank you for all the help you've given me over the years?

#618
Don't sweat it.

#619
Don't sweat it.

#620
Like the support of a friend.

#621
The importance of family.

#622
The importance of family.

#623
What up, dawg?

#624
You know I'm down to play ball,

#625
You know I'm down to play ball,

#626
I just gotta drop Junior off with old lady at the ducky park, yeah.

#627
I just gotta drop Junior off with old lady at the ducky park, yeah.

#628
Yeah, then we're gonna hoop it up.

#629
This isn't really gonna work for me. I can't do it. I can't.

#630
This isn't really gonna work for me. I can't do it. I can't.

#631
Or realizing you actually do make a difference.

#632
And there you go, Mr McNair.

#633
And there you go, Mr McNair.

#634
Thank you.

#635
Don't mention it.

#636
Don't mention it.

#637
I wasn't talking to you.

#638
I wasn't talking to you.

#639
Captions edited by Ai-Media ai-media.tv

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