Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S17E05 — The Gang Goes to a Dog Track

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 17, Episode 5 — The Gang Goes to a Dog Track

#1
♪ ♪

#5
-Ugh. -Get that hot dog away from me.

#6
You're gonna get hot dog grease on my Seersucker suit.

#7
Why'd you guys get so dressed up, anyway?

#8
People get dressed up to go to horse races.

#9
We're not going to a football game.

#10
You guys are gonna look like a bunch of schlubs.

#11
All right.

#12
Mac, you want a raw hot dog?

#13
-No. -[Dee] What?

#14
Charlie, you're eating 'em raw?

#15
Yeah. [laughs] Mac and I are doing,

#16
like, this raw dog thing.

#17
It's pretty cool.

#18
That's not what raw-dogging is.

#19
It's not?

#20
It's a sexual thing, Charlie.

#21
Well, that's true, Frank, but in this case,

#22
it's a completely different kind of raw-dogging.

#23
It's like this whole TikTok trend

#24
where people deprive themselves of creature comforts

#25
while traveling somewhere.

#26
I don't-- I don't get the point of it.

#27
Well, the point is,

#28
it's about getting back to basics

#29
before we were all pampered and soft.

#30
[Dennis] Well, you're gonna be missing out, Mac.

#31
This whole experience is gonna be about glamor, opulence,

#32
the majestic excellence of thoroughbreds

#33
earthquaking down a track while we sip on mint juleps

#34
and eat pimento cheese finger sandwiches

#35
amongst the Southern elite.

#36
Kentucky Derby, here we come.

#37
Whoops. Uh-uh.

#38
What do you mean "whoops"? What does that mean?

#39
We're going somewhere else.

#40
Somewhere else? Frank--

#41
Where are you taking us?

#42
♪ ♪

#43
[Dee] Oh, my God. This place is a shithole.

#44
What are you talking about? This is great.

#45
The dog track, baby.

#46
You know, in hindsight, I should've realized

#47
when we got those bus tickets,

#48
that the Kentucky Derby is not held in West Virginia.

#49
Well, all right, let's stop bitching.

#50
What do we want to do? Want to go place some bets or something?

#51
Ugh, this is so low-class.

#52
Well, I don't know, whatever.

#53
Let's, uh, get some more raw hot dogs then.

#54
We'll jump on Mac's raw-dog day.

#55
You're not getting it, Charlie.

#56
I am the raw dog in this situation.

#57
I don't want to eat dogs, watch dogs or be dogs, okay?

#58
This is not the classy vibe I was looking for.

#59
Why are we here, Frank?

#60
Well, because this place is closing down

#61
and I am a minority owner of one of those hounds.

#62
You own part of a dog?

#63
Yeah, 40% of Pennies From Heaven.

#64
"Pennies From Heaven"?

#65
God, if I was gonna be receiving something from heaven,

#66
the last thing I'd want is pennies.

#67
They're worthless.

#68
I got to pop off to the owners' box

#69
to chop up with the majority shareholder first.

#70
-So... -Owners' box? Okay.

#71
I-I like the sound of that.

#72
Get away from this riffraff before one of them stabs us.

#73
I'd be able to get a decent cocktail up there.

#74
-Yeah. We'll do that. -All right.

#75
Mac, you want to go place some bets, dude?

#76
That'd be fine.

#77
Well, let's do it. Come on, man.

#78
[mouth full] All right, how do we do this, man?

#79
Like, how do we know which dog to bet on?

#80
[Mac sighs]

#81
I guess we just pick the rawest one.

#82
Yeah, but how do we know which is the rawest dog?

#83
Like, you think there's, like, a one-eyed dog

#84
-or like a...? -Uh, I'm pretty sure

#85
they're all gonna have both eyes, dude.

#86
-But, you know-- -Yeah, that's what I'm worried about.

#87
Maybe we should ask one of these mongrels around here.

#88
-They look pretty raw to me. -Good point. Right.

#89
Yeah, these are raw, raw people we're with.

#90
Look at that dude right there, man.

#91
That guy looks like Dog the Bounty Hunter.

#92
-Who's rawer than that? -[Mac] He does, he does.

#93
But, you know, his hair routine,

#94
that seems like a lot of effort, and that is not raw.

#95
Yeah, there's a lot of primping involved and...

#96
Oh, it's conditioner, blow-dryers, and...

#97
-It's not raw to care that much. -It's really not.

#98
Yeah, yeah. W-What about this dude?

#99
I get a Snoop Dogg vibe off this guy, right?

#100
-Who's rawer than Snoop, man? -Nobody.

#101
Well, well...

#102
ever since he became best friends

#103
with Martha Stewart at the Olympics,

#104
-that kind of took a little... -That was weird.

#105
-Took the "dog" out of him. -That killed it for me.

#106
-Took the "dog" out of him. -It killed it for me.

#107
There's a guy right there.

#108
-Check this dude out. -Which guy?

#109
Kind of peacing out against the door right there?

#110
-He's raw. -What makes you say that?

#111
He's not wearing shoes.

#112
Which is fucking disgusting.

#113
-Ah, dude, no, man. -Look at the ground.

#114
There's something raw-- something about this man, I--

#115
There's nothing raw about that.

#116
Eh, no, I'm getting a good vibe, you know?

#117
I can sense it, like a dog.

#118
Come on, let's go talk to this guy.

#119
-Come on. -I don't think you're understanding

#120
what I'm going for.

#121
[Charlie] Excuse me, um, sir?

#122
My friend and I are gonna

#123
place a bet on the next race, and we just don't know,

#124
like, who's a good dog, you know?

#125
If you're sniffing around for a winner,

#126
I'd bet my last bone on Squeaky Wheel.

#127
Runs real good after a rain.

#128
Loves the wind out of the southeast.

#129
Squeaky Wheel is gonna get the grease, if you ask me.

#130
Yeah, Squeaky Wheel, huh? That's-that's a good pointer.

#131
That your hot dog on the ground?

#132
Oh, sorry, dude.

#133
Yeah, I think I was holding the bag upside down,

#134
I must've dropped it.

#135
[groans] You eating it?

#136
Uh, no.

#137
It's raw, though, just-- just so you know.

#138
Oh, that's okay.

#139
Good luck with the race.

#140
Okay. Yeah. Thanks a lot, man.

#141
[indistinct P.A. announcement]

#142
Nice. That dude was great. Let's place that bet.

#143
What are you talking about?

#144
I-I think he's gonna eat that hot dog.

#145
-So what? -A raw hot dog from the ground?

#146
Oh, Charlie.

#147
Oh, oh, excuse me. "Oh! Oh!

#148
I-I can only eat foods served to me on a--"

#149
He was shoeless! Did you see those feet?

#150
"Oh, I have to-- I have to have shoes on constantly.

#151
Oh!"

#152
-I think he's very, very sick. -You're just--

#153
I'm following your raw-dog idea,

#154
and the second I suggest something,

#155
you're shitting all over it, man.

#156
We're not taking the advice of a shoeless hobo, okay?

#157
[mouth full] That guy was awesome, man.

#158
But I don't know, I'm trying to do your thing.

#159
H-His feet looked like hams.

#160
He was-- he's sick. I think he's very sick.

#161
I do like the sound of an owners' box.

#162
-Yeah, we're owners' box people. -That's right.

#163
-You know what I mean? -We belong here.

#164
[Dennis coughs lightly] Woof. A little smoky.

#165
[Dee] Yeah, my eyes are burning.

#166
-That's the menthols. -Oh, is it?

#167
-[Frank] Hey-o! -Hey, Frank.

#168
-My man. -Hey, hey, hey.

#169
How you doing, brother?

#170
-I'm tits. -Good, man.

#171
This is Dennis and this is Dee.

#172
T-They're my kids, or whatnot.

#173
Okay. I see you're all dressed up.

#174
We were led to believe we were going to the Kentucky Derby.

#175
Uh, yeah, we thought we were stepping into

#176
a little bit more of a classy affair.

#177
-You know? -Ah.

#178
I think you'll find the dog track

#179
to be quite elegant. Menthol?

#180
-Uh, no. Thank you. -I'm good, I'm good.

#181
-Uh, speaking of elegant... -Uh-huh?

#182
let's talk stud rights.

#183
Got what you want right here, Frank. Your 40%.

#184
You did it already?

#185
-Yeah. -But I was supposed to film that for the Saudis.

#186
-Saudis? -Yeah.

#187
Man, I don't do business with them.

#188
What do you think they're talking about?

#189
Well, you got to do it again so I can film it.

#190
Before a race?

#191
-Yes, before the race. -No way, Frank.

#192
The milking's done.

#193
Yes, yes, I believe

#194
they're talking about masturbating a dog.

#195
-That's what I was worried about. -Uh-huh.

#196
-Um, okay, guys, um... we're out of here. -Mm-hmm.

#197
No, w-wait, wait.

#198
The Saudis'll pay big money for that.

#199
-Is that right? -Yes.

#200
But that-that jar could have

#201
a border collie's jizz in it for all I know.

#202
-Yeah. -I-I got to be sure.

#203
I got-- Okay, what we should do,

#204
we could sneak down there

#205
and I could film you guys getting it.

#206
He wants us to get it. We're not jerking a dog off, Frank.

#207
-Yeah, that's not gonna happen. -That's not something we're doing today.

#208
That's not the kind of day we're looking to have.

#209
All right. Okay, all right, all right,

#210
you don't have to help me with the dog.

#211
But don't take it out on the track.

#212
I mean, you could still have some fun.

#213
Why don't you put in a bet on the first race?

#214
Yeah, here. I tell you what,

#215
put ten dollars on Squeaky Wheel.

#216
-Here, you two, here, here. -I hate these stupid dog names.

#217
Here, wait, y-you go, too.

#218
Well, I'm not gonna not take it.

#219
-[bell rings] -[crowd cheering]

#220
Holy shit, dude, they are fast.

#221
That is impressive.

#223
Ah... [exclaims]

#225
It's Squeaky Wheel!

#226
[cheering]

#227
Oh, baby. W-Who won? Who won?

#228
Squeaky Wheel by a mile, dude.

#229
Oh, we would have won, dude. Come on,

#230
we got to go find that raw dog guy,

#231
that's our guy, that's our dog, man.

#232
-[cheering] -Squeaky Wheel!

#233
Okay, okay.

#234
What'd I tell you? Huh?

#235
-[laughs] Yeah. -How much did we win?

#236
-$200 each. -[Dennis] Really?

#237
-Yeah. -Oh, my God. -Ooh, what?

#238
Yeah, Frank, I got to tell you, there's a real rush in this.

#239
Hey, anybody want a screwdriver?

#240
Yes, yeah.

#241
Toss me one of those menthols, too,

#242
while you're at it.

#243
-[laughs] -Yeah, gross.

#244
Hey, Frank, when's the next race?

#245
Oh, we got a minute. What?

#246
-Were you looking for action? -[Dee] Mmm.

#247
-Uh, maybe. Yeah. -What do you have in mind?

#248
Rochambeau for $100.

#249
-I'm in. Ready. -Wait, what? -All right.

#250
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

#251
Oh! Rock beats scissors.

#252
-I'm up 300 bucks. -I'm up 300 bucks. -Okay.

#253
I-I go. I go, I go.

#254
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -Yeah.

#255
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

#256
-[laughs] -Same one?

#257
-Seriously, dummy? -Eh, eh.

#258
-All right. -Pay me, bitch.

#259
Well, I tell you what. We'll go $500 each.

#260
-Right? Right now. -Absolutely.

#261
-Ready? -Absou-- I'll call this one.

#262
-Ready? Uh-huh. -Oh, okay, all right.

#263
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

#264
-Uh-- -Ooh.

#265
I didn't know he was gonna do the same one three times.

#266
-Pay. -Yeah...

#267
Uh, I guess we lost it all, didn't we?

#268
-Here, you take the ticket. -Is that it? -Okay, that's

#269
-all right, we'll win it back, uh... -Yeah. Yeah, yeah,

#270
-yeah, we'll win-- We'll just have to win it back. -Frank,

#271
what else-- What else can we bet on, man?

#272
Okay, what number am I thinking of

#273
between one and ten? $100.

#274
Oh, that's a good one Okay, yeah.

#275
-All right? -Um...

#276
-Seven. -Two.

#277
Nope. Wrong.

#278
-You owe me $100. -Sh...

#279
-Shit. -Fork it over.

#281
I mean, maybe he just got lucky.

#282
Nah, this is the guy, man.

#283
This is-this is our raw dog.

#284
Yeah, you know where he is?

#285
He's probably at the ticket window,

#286
collect his winnings, right?

#287
I don't know.

#288
Wait a second.

#289
Is that him down there on all fours?

#290
I-Is he foraging for more food?

#291
He probably just dropped his ticket or something, man.

#292
-Come on, let's go talk to him. -All right.

#293
[Charlie] Excuse me, uh, sir?

#294
Hi, I-I don't know if you remember us.

#295
Uh, w-we didn't get your name earlier.

#296
It's Sparky.

#297
What you looking for down there, Sparky?

#298
Corn Nuts.

#299
See, dude? I told you he was looking for food.

#300
No, not to eat.

#301
See, people drop 'em and they blow onto the track.

#302
A single Corn Nut can turn a dog's ankle.

#303
Ruin its career.

#304
Oh, so you're, like, a janitor here, man.

#305
I do that, too, it's actually pretty cool.

#306
No. I take care of the dogs.

#307
But I do like to tidy up on occasion.

#308
Like that hot dog that you found.

#309
Dogs appreciated that, by the way.

#310
So that's what you were doing.

#311
Okay, all right.

#312
But what's with the no shoes?

#313
Dog don't wear shoes, so why should I?

#314
I like to feel what they feel.

#315
Know what they know.

#316
Dog's a majestic creature.

#317
Ain't no coincidence that "god" spelled backwards is "dog."

#318
-Oh, whoa. -Oh, dude,

#319
I think I had you pegged, like, all wrong.

#320
-You are super raw. -Raw?

#321
Oh, yeah, my buddy and I were, like,

#322
doing a raw dog thing.

#323
Yeah, I'm trying to reembrace my raw dog nature.

#324
Lately, I've been feeling no joy.

#325
I've overindulged.

#326
I've been taking crazy risks.

#327
I jumped off the top of a jungle gym the other day.

#328
I went to a nightclub and got really raw with it.

#329
Had a bit of a scare.

#330
I've been seeking my pleasures through thrills

#331
and sexual conquests.

#332
And I-I think I need to be more raw.

#333
You know, "raw" spelled backwards is "war," and...

#334
you sound like you're at war with yourself.

#335
-This is blowing my mind. -Wow, dude, me too.

#336
-I... -What else can you spell backwards?

#337
Yeah, I-I feel like we could...

#338
we could learn something from you, bro.

#339
Y'all want to learn the way of the dog?

#340
-Yes. Totally. -Yeah. Yeah.

#341
Could we, like, tag along with you?

#342
Let's do it.

#343
All right, yeah. By the way, how much you win?

#344
-Win? -On your bet.

#345
Oh, I don't bet on dogs.

#346
Gambling can drive a man crazy.

#347
Make him do things against his better nature.

#348
Gambling'll make you lower than the lowest dog there is.

#349
["Jump Into the Fire" by Harry Nilsson playing]

#350
[indistinct chatter, cheering]

#351
Yeah, come on, baby, come on!

#352
[Frank] And boom.

#353
-[whoops] Yeah! -Hey-o!

#354
Give me that 18 bucks back!

#355
He won 18 bucks.

#356
I got your tie on that one.

#357
No, no, no, give me the tie, Dee, come on, what are you--

#358
Give me 18 bucks.

#359
-Roll for it, then. -[Dee] All right.

#360
Come on, come on, come on,

#361
-come on, come on! -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

#362
All right, come on.

#363
-Whoa! -[cheering]

#364
-Damn it! -[laughing]

#365
-You're so dumb. -Shit!

#366
Louis, I'll give you this hat for the dog siring rights.

#367
-Aw, no dice, Frank. Hundred grand, you can go -Come on.

#368
-jerk 'em off right now, though. -[Dennis] Come on, guys, let's keep it

#369
classy, all right? Next bet, next bet, next bet, let's go.

#370
-All even numbers, I get your jacket. -No, come on,

#371
let's stick to cash, okay? You're not getting my jacket.

#372
-You got no cash. -I got three dollars in my pocket.

#373
-You're out of money. -I got three dollars.

#374
Ten bucks you're gonna eat that gum off the floor.

#375
-I'll do it. -No, what are you doing? Stop it, no.

#376
Twenty dollars you rip Dennis' jacket.

#377
No, I just want to win my money back.

#378
Don't rip the sleeve. Come on.

#379
-[laughing] -Goddamn it!

#380
-Son of a bitch! -Here you go.

#381
Thank you, thank you.

#382
-Aw, Dee! -[laughing]

#383
Oh, all right. Rochambeau to get it tailored.

#384
[Dee] No problem.

#385
[cackles] Suck it, bitch.

#386
You got to get that shit tailored.

#387
-Aw... -You bitch.

#388
-I like it like that. -Yeah, it's better like that.

#389
-All right, come on, next bet, next bet, next bet. -Let's go, let's go.

#390
[dogs barking in distance]

#392
Some folks are just chasing the wrong rabbit.

#393
They're the one who's really running in circles.

#394
[spits]

#395
Why are you spitting in the bowls?

#396
Uh, lets 'em know I'm the alpha.

#397
[spits]

#398
Oh, dude, that's sick, man.

#399
I'm gonna start spitting in people's beers at my job.

#400
-You know what I mean? -Nah, don't do that, though.

#401
You know, like I'm gonna--

#402
Goddamn mutt. Do you have any idea

#403
how much money I blew on you?

#404
Excuse me for a second, fellas.

#405
We got a problem here?

#406
I feel like I want to be raw,

#407
but every time he does something cool,

#408
he then does something really raw,

#409
and it kind of grosses me out.

#410
You don't like that he's spitting in the dog food?

#411
No, I don't like that he expressed

#412
that dog's anal glands with his bare hands.

#413
Yeah.

#414
But, I mean, like, look, dude, you want to be raw,

#415
you got to get your hands a little dirty.

#416
Well, you don't got to, 'cause there's gloves right there.

#417
There were gloves right there, weren't there?

#418
[barking]

#419
-Whoa. -[owner] Take it easy.

#420
-Okay. Okay, okay. -[Sparky barking]

#421
Well, he's got that dog in him.

#422
Yeah, he's going full dog on that guy, huh?

#423
-Forget about it, forget about it. -[barking]

#424
Wow, that was intense, man. Whoa.

#425
Yeah, sorry y'all had to see that,

#426
but sometimes I'm just off my leash

#427
and protecting my pack.

#428
-Yeah. Oh, is that-- -Oh...

#429
That's the one he expressed the gland with.

#430
-Yeah. -Yeah.

#431
Now, this dog here is hurt

#432
and he can't race no more.

#433
That makes him mine now.

#434
You get to keep the dog?

#435
Yeah, I get to take him home, take care of him.

#436
I mean, I live right here.

#437
In the dog kennel?

#438
No, I wish.

#439
I live in a trailer out in the parking lot.

#440
Oh.

#441
Come on, let's get out of here.

#442
Before this place makes animals of us all.

#443
-[cheering] -Ready, set, go!

#444
["Lookin' Out My Back Door" by Credence Clearwater Revival]

#445
[shouting and cheering]

#446
[Frank] Keep going.

#447
Keep going, keep going.

#448
[gags] Oh, no.

#449
-[whooping] -[Dee retching]

#450
[mouth full] I can't do it, Frank, I can't.

#451
Don't quit, don't quit, don't quit.

#452
They're not gonna make it.

#453
They're not gonna make it, Frank.

#454
No, they're gonna make it.

#455
-[gasping] -[Frank] No, no, no.

#456
Bad, bad.

#457
No, you haven't made your money back yet.

#458
You got to make your money back.

#459
You got to make your money back.

#460
[shrieks] Frank! This is not classy!

#461
[gags] This isn't classy.

#462
You haven't made your money back.

#463
[Dee] Do one, just do one.

#464
Okay, my sister and I are out of here. [gags]

#465
-[laughing] -[Frank] Aw, damn.

#466
You owe me 15K, Frank.

#467
-Ah, goddamn it. -Ten bucks says they stay.

#468
-I'll take that. -No, no, no, no.

#469
No more bets, goddamn it!

#470
We've been degraded eno-- [gags]

#471
Enough, Frank, we're out of here.

#472
Not classy!

#473
Not classy, Frank!

#474
That's not classy.

#475
That's not classy!

#476
-Not classy! -[gagging]

#477
Man, that was bad. I don't like it.

#478
It was just too far, Dee. [gags]

#479
He turned us into the dog.

#480
[both gagging]

#481
You got to stop, Dee.

#482
I can't stop with the smell of dog food on your breath.

#483
-Okay, listen. Listen, listen. -It's really bad.

#484
-[gags] -[coughs, gags]

#485
[both gagging]

#486
[coughing, gagging]

#487
I have a plan. I have a plan.

#488
How we can get our money back, and then some.

#489
Double or nothing for our clothes?

#490
No, no, no, no. We got to be smarter than that, Dee!

#491
-We got to be smarter. -Mm, mm-hmm.

#492
We can't play their games anymore, okay?

#493
We're gonna get our money back

#494
and we're gonna make even more money.

#495
[swallows, groans]

#496
But... we're gonna have to do something pretty raw.

#497
[whimpers]

#498
[both gagging]

#499
Come on, Sherlock Bones, let's go. [grunts]

#500
Well... this is my kennel.

#501
Cool. Living at the dog track, that's raw, dude.

#502
-Oh. -[Sparky] Yeah.

#503
Oh, uh...

#504
pardon the tarp, boys.

#505
Dogs get a little messy every now and then.

#506
-Oh. -And you're putting the dogs' needs first, all day.

#507
Yeah, right. He's thinking about the dogs.

#508
-Man, you have opened my eyes. -Yeah.

#509
You have spent your entire life giving,

#510
and all I do is take.

#511
Yeah, you're a big taker.

#512
Yeah, I am. I'm a bit of a t--

#513
-You are too, though. -[chuckles]

#514
[Mac] But, look, I-I feel like being raw

#515
is putting yourself last. And that's a good way to be.

#516
Yeah, dude, put yourself last. And tarps?

#517
I mean, pretty awesome, man. I might get a tarp for Frank.

#518
What kind of breed is Frank?

#519
Oh, Frank's a...

#520
-a man. -He's a man, human man.

#521
-Yeah, he's a human man. -Human.

#522
But he's messy, like-- like a dog.

#523
-Yeah. -Um...

#524
But he's a man.

#525
[country music playing faintly]

#527
-Yeah. -Anyways...

#528
-Yeah. -Um...

#529
Hey, listen, man, just thanks again for everything.

#530
This has been an awesome day, and...

#531
I-I'm really just so sorry they're closing this place down.

#532
They're doing what now?

#533
Oh, you didn't hear? Oh, this--

#534
this place is closing down, yeah.

#535
I think they're--

#536
there's not gonna be any more dog tracks in... America.

#537
♪ ♪

#538
I did not know that.

#539
Hmm.

#540
Think somebody would've told me.

#541
-[chuckles] -[Charlie] Yeah.

#542
Oh, well, I guess I'm always just the last to know.

#543
-Huh. -[Charlie] Yeah...

#544
[sighs] All right.

#545
Say, boys, you, uh...

#546
mind if I go spend a couple minutes

#547
with my thoughts here?

#548
Yeah, no, go-- T-Take a minute and...

#549
We'll hang here and...

#550
God, I feel bad that he didn't know.

#551
Yeah, I feel so bad.

#552
I can't believe they would keep him in the dark like that, man.

#553
You know what? He's got such a great outlook on life,

#554
I bet he bounces right back.

#555
He definitely will.

#556
[gunshot]

#557
[shell casing clinking]

#558
That sounded like a gunshot, man.

#559
It did sound like a gunshot, d--

#560
Do you think he shot the dog?

#561
Why? Why would--

#562
I don't know, maybe that's what he was talking about

#563
when he said he "takes care of the dogs."

#564
Like, he shoots them when they can't race anymore?

#565
-Is that a thing? -I don't know.

#566
Wait, that might be a thing.

#567
Dude, that might be why they're shutting down

#568
all these places all over the country.

#569
-Because they shoot the dogs when they-- -Yes!

#570
G--

#571
Oh.

#572
Well, if he didn't shoot the dog, what did he shoot?

#573
♪ ♪

#574
-Oh... -Dude.

#575
He was feeling a little too raw.

#576
[Mac groans sadly]

#577
Hey...

#578
[Mac takes deep breath]

#579
Hi.

#580
-This... -Uh, this is a crime scene now.

#581
-Right? Yeah. -This is a crime scene, yeah.

#582
-You know what? Wipe our prints, yeah. -Yeah.

#583
We're thinking the same thing. We got to wipe the prints.

#584
Let's just get everything--

#585
Let's just get out of here, dude.

#586
-Okay, let's go. -Let's just get out of here.

#587
You want to burn this thing down, or...?

#589
-Frank, there he is. -Frank! Frank!

#590
-Frank, we got to go. -We got to get out of here, man.

#591
There is a seedy underbelly to this place.

#592
-And there's maybe a bit... -It's not good, bad things happened.

#593
...of a fingerprint situation. We got to get out of here.

#594
There's definitely a fingerprint situation.

#595
-We got to go, dude. -We got to go.

#596
[Dennis cackles]

#597
We did it.

#598
[growls] Bitch.

#599
Why are you dressed like this?

#600
-Don't, move-move past that. -Yeah.

#601
-Not for now, not now. -[Dennis] We want out clothes,

#602
we want our money and we want

#603
50% of whatever the Saudis were gonna pay you.

#604
-You did it? -Oh, yeah, we did it,

#605
-you son of a bitch. -[laughs]

#606
-Prove it. -No problem.

#607
-Well, do we-- Okay. -Mm-hmm.

#608
-I was hoping we wouldn't... -No, we're gonna do it.

#609
No, they're gonna see it, they're gonna see it.

#610
[Dee] Here we go. All right.

#611
Go.

#612
Hello, crown princes,

#613
and other honorable Saudis... [gags]

#614
[clears throat]

#616
[gags]

#617
...Pennies From Heaven.

#618
Champion racing dog.

#619
Let this video serve as...

#620
proof to show authenticity.

#621
Oh, God. Okay.

#622
All right, here we go.

#623
-Yep. -[Dee] Yep, get under him.

#624
Get underneath.

#625
-Oh, my God, man. -[crowd groans]

#626
-Huh? -Well, don't--

#627
[groaning]

#628
-[dog whimpers, barks] -Ugh.

#629
♪ ♪

#630
-[Dee] Huh? -[exclaiming]

#631
-[groaning] -[Frank] Oh, shit.

#632
They did it!

#633
You owe me big-time, Louis!

#634
[laughs]

#635
-I won! -[cheering]

#636
[cheers and applause]

#637
[Louis] Well done, Frank.

#638
[Frank] Fork it over, baby.

#639
-Nice. [laughs] -Easy, easy.

#640
Oh, w-what's happening?

#641
Ah, I won.

#642
-You won what? -[Frank] The bet.

#643
I bet Louis I could get you guys to jerk off a dog.

#644
And you did it! [laughs]

#645
-The Saudis. What about the Saudis? -[Frank] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

#646
Oh, I don't know no Saudis. [laughs]

#647
I don't even own a dog.

#648
What are you talking about, Frank?!

#649
The only reason why we're here

#650
is so I can bet on you.

#651
-No... -You are my raw dogs,

#652
and you won.

#653
No, no, we're here because you wanted to bet on the dog races.

#654
Dog races? I'd never bet on a dog race.

#655
That's low-class shit.

#656
[Frank giggles]

#657
♪ ♪

#658
You guys raw-dogging it home?

#659
Anyone like a Corn Nut?

#660
[chanting backwards]

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