Home » Ace Ventura Pet Detective (1994) » S01E01 — Ace Ventura Pet Detective

Ace Ventura Pet Detective (1994)

Season 1, Episode 1 — Ace Ventura Pet Detective

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#1001
...to get rid of...
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#1002
...big old...
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#1003
...Mr. Knish.
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#1004
Oh, boy.
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#1005
MARINO: Psst. Psst. Ace.
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#1006
Come here.
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#1007
Would you excuse me for just one second?
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#1008
Ladies and gentlemen...
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#1009
...my esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino...
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#1010
...brought new evidence to my attention.
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#1011
Now...
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#1012
...history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive...
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#1013
...criminal investigator can be wrong.
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#1014
But if I am mistaken...
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#1015
...if the lieutenant is indeed a woman...
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#1016
...as she claims to be...
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#1017
...then, my friend...
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#1018
...She is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen.
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#1019
That's why Roger Podacter is dead.
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#1020
He found Captain Winkie.
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#1021
Good night. You've been a wonderful audience. Be sure to tip your waitress.
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#1022
Die, animal boy.
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#1023
Quick decision.
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#1024
Loser.
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#1025
- Ace. You have any more gum? - Yeah, Dan?
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#1026
That's none of your damn business. Stay out of my personal affairs.
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#1027
MARINO: You're a weird guy, Ace. A weird guy.
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#1028
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen...
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#1029
...the Miami Dolphins are proud...
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#1030
...to welcome back to Joe Robbie Stadium...
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#1031
...our beloved mascot...
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#1032
...and the star of our halftime show:
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#1033
Snowflake.
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#1034
And now...
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#1035
...returning for the second half, the Dolphins' most valuable player...
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#1036
...Dan Marino.
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#1037
[MIMICKING PIGEON]
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#1038
Idiot.
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#1039
Do you know what you've done? You just cost me 25 grand, Polly.
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#1040
MAN: Yeah? Blow me.
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#1041
Really?
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#1042
[BOTH GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]
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#1043
ANNOUNCER: The National Football League...
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#1044
...would like to offer a special thank you to the man who rescued Dan Marino...
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#1045
...and our beloved Snowflake.
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#1046
A great humanitarian...
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#1047
...and a lover of all animals:
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#1048
Mr. Ace Ventura.
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#1049
MAN: Get off me!
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#1050
Get off me!
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#1051
[English - US - SDH]