Home » Hazbin Hotel » S01E03 — Scrambled Eggs

Hazbin Hotel

Season 1, Episode 3 — Scrambled Eggs

#1
[Title music]

#2
[light music] [purring]

#3
[banging] [Charlie] That looks perfect!

#9
[squeaking]

#10
What the hell is that?

#13
I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents.

#14
What? Why?

#15
Everyone is being too nice.

#16
Obviously, it must be a lie.

#17
I can sense they are planning to kill me, but when?

#18
How? I must be prepared!

#19
Ooh, the new parts of my machine are here.

#20
[Odette] Sign, please.

#21
Thank you for your business. Enjoy your Carmine purchase.

#22
Carmine? As in Carmella Carmine.

#23
You are buying parts from an overlord?

#24
Err, of course. She's the top weapons dealer in Hell.

#25
Okay, well, that stops right now.

#26
-[Sir Pentious] Hey. -[Vaggie] You absolutely cannot

#27
build weapons in this hotel.

#28
No one is trying to kill you.

#29
People are being nice because they want you to feel welcome.

#30
[lazy jazz music]

#31
[heinous laugh]

#32
-[Penitous] Hmm. I have my doubts. -[Vaggie] Well, it's true.

#33
-[Vaggie] You have to trust us. -[Sir Pentious] But I don't.

#34
Well, why don't we focus on that for today's activities?

#35
Not before we lay some ground rules.

#36
No more building weapons,

#37
no more plotting against other guests.

#38
And you need to get rid of these things.

#39
[laser blasts]

#40
Ugh! What did I just say? What did I just say?

#41
What? Not my little egg boys. They do my evil bidding for me.

#42
Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself?

#43
-Yes. -Then no more eggs.

#44
All right, eggies. You've got to go.

#45
I... [sobs]

#46
-Can't keep you anymore. -Okay, boss.

#47
No, don't resist. This is how it has to be.

#48
-[melancholy music] -[sobs]

#49
[anguished cries]

#50
[upbeat jazz plays]

#51
[Alastor hums]

#52
[Vaggie] Alastor!

#53
Do you mind? I'm in the middle of breakfast.

#54
[Vaggie] Pentious's eggs are all over the place,

#55
and I need you to get rid of them.

#56
Oh, well, in that case, I'd be delighted to!

#57
Humanely!

#58
Hm. Well, that's a lot less hot,

#59
but I suppose I can take care of that on my outing today.

#60
Great. That looks disgusting.

#61
Hi, guys. Thanks for coming.

#62
It's been brought to our attention

#63
that there may be a little...

#64
tension in the hotel.

#65
[Vaggie] Tension that can be counterproductive

#66
to what we're trying to do here.

#67
We think that this group could really benefit from...

#68
-Trust exercises! -Trust exercises!

#69
[glass breaks] [Vaggie] Ah shit!

#70
Vaggie, we rehearsed this.

#71
[sighs] We're doing trust exercises.

#72
[Husk] So, what's with the whole, uhhh..This?

#73
I'm not about to put on some show for these fucking chumps.

#74
[Angel] Oh, I will, but it's cash up front,

#75
and I know that one, can't afford me.

#76
Gross! I'd never think of it spider!

#77
[Vaggie] Right. Well, let's get started. Charlie?

#78
Actually, I thought maybe you could take the lead on this one.

#79
I trust everyone, so maybe you know better

#80
about how to build it properly.

#81
What? Uhh, I don't know if I'm qualified, uh--

#82
Oh, come on. It'll be easy. I'm sure you can handle this.

#83
Yeah,Um... Sure, I can handle this. No problem.

#84
[sniffs]

#85
[drill sergeant style] All right,

#86
so we are starting with trust falls.

#87
Each of you are going to share something vulnerable

#88
with the group about yourself and then fall backwards,

#89
while the rest of the group catches you.

#90
Got it? Who wants to go first?

#91
Oooohh, ooohh, me me me! Me! Me! Me!

#92
All right. Get on up here.

#93
[Charlie] I love you guys.

#94
[romantic music] Like really, really love you.

#95
-[Charlie] Whoa! -[Vaggie]Gotcha.

#96
[Charlie] That felt good!

#97
-Angel, why don't you go next? -Fine.

#98
[Vaggie] This time everyone needs to catch him.

#99
Okay? Unless you want me to hurt you.

#100
Somethin' about myself, huh? How about this?

#101
I love to suck--

#102
[Husk] I swear to fuck if you say dicks.

#103
Popsicles, ya sicko!

#104
Get your mind out of the gutter. [strains]

#105
But you know, dick's too!

#106
[thud]

#107
All right, new guy, you're up.

#108
[melodramatic music] I...

#109
don't want to live without my minions.

#110
Nobody catch me. [clatter]

#111
-Damn it. -That's great.

#112
Wow, you are slimy.

#113
Okay. Good job. Err, Niffty.

#114
-[chaotic music] -[frantic giggles]

#115
Sometimes I kill motherbugs in front of their children

#116
as a warning to others.

#117
[splats]

#118
Yay! Pain. [giggles]

#119
-[frantic running] -[Niffty pants]

#120
[Niffty] Pain!

#121
I don't know if this is really working the way we hoped.

#122
Maybe we should--

#123
Honey, you have to trust me here.

#124
I got this, okay? I'll figure something out.

#125
If you're in the market for some ideas,

#126
I got just a thing for some "trust" buildin'.

#127
[Vaggie sighs] What do you have in mind?

#128
[sirens blare]

#129
[Frank] Oh, boy. What's the plan, boss?

#130
I like your suit.

#131
[Egg Boi #2] What are the antlers for?

#132
[Egg Boi #3] Can I touch your staff thing?

#133
[Egg Boi #4] Are those your ears? Or is it your hair? I can't tell.

#134
-[sinister music] -[Zestial] Hark, Alastor.

#135
How fare thee this day?

#136
[Frank] Who's that, boss?

#137
Want me to rough him up for you?

#138
Follow in silence if you value your shell.

#139
Greetings Zestial!

#140
[Demon] Oh holy shit!

#141
[Zestial] Ah, the weather doth become this fine day.

#142
[Demon screams]

#143
Indeed. Looks like we might have some acid rain this afternoon.

#144
[screams]

#145
[Zestial] If our luck doth hold!

#146
I do revel in the screams. How art thou?

#147
It has been an age since thou hath graced us with thy presence.

#148
[Demon] Oh, fuck!

#149
[Zestial] Some hath spun wild tales of you falling to...

#150
holy arms .

#151
[Alastor laughs]

#152
Oh, I just took a well earned sabbatical. Nothing serious.

#153
Though it's fun to keep everyone on their toes.

#154
[chuckles]

#155
There too hath been rumour of thy involvement

#156
with the princess and her recent flight of fancy.

#157
Tell me, how does thou fall in such folly?

#158
[Alastor] That is for me to know.

#159
But please do guess.

#160
I'd love to know the theories.

#161
[Zestial chuckles]

#162
[Zestial] T'would be grander folly by far

#163
to assume the workings of your mind, Alastor.

#164
Thou hath been naught but an enigma since thy manifested in this realm.

#165
Coming from someone as ancient as you, I take that as quite the compliment.

#166
[epic ominous music]

#167
[Alastor] No, No. I have a very important task for you.

#168
Stay here and guard the front until I return.

#169
[Egg Bois mutter]

#170
[lift whirrs]

#171
[Egg Boi] Oh look. Frank is up there.

#172
We have names?

#173
-[lift dings] -[laid back jazz plays]

#174
[Frank] Oh!

#175
-[scared murmuring] -[Overlords laugh]

#176
[jazz continues]

#177
Oh!

#178
[metallic clinking]

#179
[Carmilla] Welcome, Hell sovereign overlords.

#180
I've invited you all here

#181
because you represent the controlling powers of our city.

#182
Together, you own millions of souls.

#183
Souls at risk with the new extermination schedule.

#184
We need to discuss what can be done to minimize

#185
the impact to our interest. [rattles]

#186
-Zestial, so good to see you, my friend. -Enchanted as always Carmilla.

#187
[Carmilla] Alastor?

#188
Yes, I know I've been absent some time.

#189
I'm sure you've all been wondering.

#190
Not really. But welcome back in any case.

#191
This year's extermination was brutal , far more even than years past.

#192
We have assessed that about 16% of the population was lost.

#193
With the angelic legions now returning twice as quickly

#194
I think it prudent we--

#195
[door slams open] Yes, I've got it handled, Vox.

#196
Are you doubting me?

#197
Really? Me? That's what I thought.

#198
[laughing] Yes, I know. They're all a joke.

#199
[laughs] Thank you, Vee. See you soon.

#200
[kisses] Kisses, darling.

#201
Nice of you to join us, Velvette.

#202
Will your... colleagues be joining?

#203
No. They have better shit to do than to listen to an old windbag

#204
Who thinks she's tough shit. I'm here to represent.

#205
[Carmilla] Charming.

#206
So, as I was saying, we need to discuss-

#207
-Yes? -On the subject of discussion...

#208
-[Squelches] -[Odette] Ooh shit.

#209
-[Clara gasps] -[Alastor] Oh, tasty!

#210
Where did you get this?

#211
[Velvette] We found it during extermination day.

#212
If these Holy Rollers can be killed, the game has changed.

#213
We can take the fight to them.

#214
The boys and I have come up with a full assault plan.

#215
[slurping noises]

#216
-[slurping continues] -[cup clinks on saucer]

#217
[Zestial] If it be true thee and thy colleagues desire to war,

#218
with such meagre proof.

#219
Thou art far more foolish than I be thought.

#220
[scoffs] Meager proof? It's a dead fucking exorcist.

#221
I'd say that's pretty fucking definitive.

#222
You going blind, old man?

#223
We know not how this perished.

#224
mayhaps t'was not by a demon's hand at all.

#225
If we rush to war without knowing mightn't they purge

#226
all of Hell for daring an uprising?

#227
[muttering in agreement]

#228
[Alastor] Oh, that's possible I suppose.

#229
Oh, I get it.

#230
So Grandpa is too pussy to fight,

#231
so I guess there's no point, right?

#232
[epic music]

#233
Oh. What's the matter, Fossil?

#234
Too senile to make a real power grab for--

#235
[operatic singing] ♪ You better show some respect ♪

#236
♪ Check your behaviour ♪

#237
♪ No one speaks to Zestial that way ♪

#238
♪ Did you expect us ♪

#239
♪ To sit back and take your ♪

#240
♪ Insolent brazen display ♪

#241
[raps] ♪ Ha-ha, you've got it twisted ♪

#242
♪ I'm not the one who Needs a new attitude ♪

#243
♪ Maybe you missed it, But I'm that hashtag bitch ♪

#244
♪ And I will do nothin' Less than what I please woo ♪

#245
♪ I'm the backbone of the Vees ♪

#246
♪ Mad that I acted respectless ♪

#247
♪ Well it's cause No one could respect this ♪

#248
♪ Sorry group attending ♪

#249
♪ Since when are Overlords Too scared to fight ♪

#250
♪ You're long past trending ♪

#251
♪ Sorry babe but I ain't Swipin' right ♪

#252
♪ You've lost your relevance-- ♪

#253
[Zestial] ♪ We can't act Without more intelligence ♪

#254
♪ No wonder I'm so respectless ♪

#255
♪ I could eat You lot for breakfast ♪

#256
♪ You and the Vees are inane and Uninformed ♪

#257
♪ Smug wannabes who don't heed When you've been warned ♪

#258
[Velvette] ♪ Oops, did I strike a nerve ♪

#259
♪ Cause when I brought out the angel's head ♪

#260
♪ Couldn't help but observe ♪

#261
♪ That your wrinkled face was Turnin' red ♪

#262
♪ And why are you avoiding war ♪

#263
♪ That's what The guns you sell are for ♪

#264
♪ Thanks to my Bein' respectless ♪

#265
♪ One thing I'm Startin' to suspect is ♪

#266
♪ You know why This angel's headless ♪

#267
♪ Do you have a disclosure ♪

#268
♪ This meeting's over ♪

#269
[silence]

#270
[Alastor] That was a productive meeting.

#271
Hmmph, fine.

#272
Safe travels back to the nursing home, fuckers.

#273
Kiss my ass.

#274
[laughs]

#275
[Zeezi] What the hell? We literally just got here.

#276
Mother?

#277
[incidental music]

#278
Hmm!

#279
Well, that's interesting.

#280
You little egg creature. I have a job for you.

#281
-Oh, yes, boss. -Follow them.

#282
[slapping noises] Angel! What the actual fuck?

#283
No activity requires more trust than BDSM, baby.

#284
No bond stronger than those formed through bondage.

#285
That's their motto.

#286
[slapping noise and screams]

#287
Angel, love the enthusiasm. But umm, uh... Hmmmm..

#288
What makes you think anyone would be into this?

#289
[purrs] Ya know, I... I don't hate this.

#290
[chuckles]

#291
[Niffty] I'm ready to punish some bad boys.

#292
[giggles]

#293
Never mind, I-I'm out.

#294
Okay, hello, there. Hi. Um. Hm...

#295
[slapping noise] [low growl]

#296
Ugh, I can't fucking believe I let you drag us here Angel.

#297
[Vaggie] This is disgusting.

#298
[Angel] It's no big deal, Vaggie.

#299
You know, maybe I can just help, uh--

#300
No. I told you, you could trust me.

#301
And I'm not going to let you down.

#302
[gentle music]

#303
I just need to teach them the way I was taught.

#304
[Demon] AHHH!

#305
[Charlie shouting] This is how you learned to trust people?

#306
[Demons shout] Bring it on Bitch, Yeehaw!

#307
[Vaggie in drill sergeant style] There is nothing stronger

#308
than the trust between comrades and arms.

#309
Buckle up, butter cups, because today you boys become men!

#310
[explosion] You...

#311
[Sir Pentious] Wait, wait! I can't fight without my minions--

#312
[Vaggie] ... Are going to survive together.

#313
[Sir Pentious] Aaaahhh! [Vaggie] And you--

#314
[Angel] D-don't you even think about it--

#315
Are going to make this hotel work!

#316
[Angel screams]

#317
[excitedly] My turn, my turn!

#318
Vaggie! No!

#319
This is the only way they'll learn, Charlie.

#320
No, it's not. There are other ways.

#321
-It just takes time. -Time we don't have.

#322
[Vaggie] How many exterminations

#323
will have gone by before these idiots get their shit together?

#324
How many times do we have to watch your people be killed

#325
before we make headway?

#326
Vaggie...

#327
I took charge today and it all went sideways.

#328
I'm supposed to make your dreams a reality.

#329
I'm supposed to protect you.

#330
I'm supposed to never fail you.

#331
[Angel] I blame you for this you crazy bitch!

#332
You didn't fail me,

#333
[somber music] Vaggie... You're not--

#334
If I can't help you, what's the point of me?

#335
[gasps] Vaggie, don't say that! You do so much! It's--

#336
I'm sorry. I'd like to be alone for a minute.

#337
[somber music continues]

#338
[fighting and screaming continues]

#339
[Angel breathes heavily] [strains and groans]

#340
[Angel] Made it.

#341
Let's go home, guys.

#342
Ugh! I just walked up all those stairs.

#343
-[strains] -[morose music]

#344
[Carmilla mutters in Spanish]

#345
[Zestial] Carmilla, what troubles thou?

#346
Losing thy composure is unlike thee.

#347
[sighs] It's nothing, Zestial. Really.

#348
[Zestial] The felled angel...

#349
'twas by thy hand, was it not?

#350
-Let's not talk about it. -[Clara] Mom...

#351
Maybe he should know.

#352
Nobody should know.

#353
I did what I had to do. I am not discussing this.

#354
[sombre music] [gentle singing]

#355
♪ What weighs on Your soul old friend? ♪

#356
♪ I implore You to share the load ♪

#357
♪ If it was thou Who slew the angel ♪

#358
♪ Why not let Your strength be known? ♪

#359
[gentle ballad music] ♪ I always thought ♪

#360
♪ That I would Keep blood off my face ♪

#361
♪ But when that thing attacked I had to act ♪

#362
♪ To cross That line and keep them safe ♪

#363
[power ballad music] ♪ But if anyone knew ♪

#364
♪ Then all of Hell would rise to war ♪

#365
♪ And who's to say who'd survive the fray? ♪

#366
♪ I might lose the ones ♪

#367
♪ That I was killing for ♪

#368
[power ballad builds] ♪ So I... ♪

#369
♪ I'll be your keeper ♪

#370
♪ Do whatever it takes I'll make the mistakes ♪

#371
♪ I'll keep you safe and Keep this secret ♪

#372
♪ When I saw your face ♪

#373
♪ You made me feel like a Stranger in a brand new place ♪

#374
♪ And it felt so Good to be understood ♪

#375
♪ But there's so much I wished that I could say ♪

#376
♪ So, I... I'll be your armor ♪

#377
♪ Do whatever it takes I'll make the mistakes ♪

#378
♪ I'll spend my Life being your partner ♪

#379
♪ And I don't know What we might face ♪

#380
♪ But I know I can't replace you so ♪

#381
♪ I'll do anything to save you ♪

#382
♪ And I will try to make your Dreams come true ♪

#383
[singing together] ♪ Whatever We go through, I know I... ♪

#384
-♪ I'll be your keeper ♪ -♪ I'll be your armor ♪

#385
[singing together] ♪ Whatever it takes ♪

#386
-♪ I'll make the mistakes ♪ -♪ I'll make the mistakes ♪

#387
[singing together] ♪ Whatever it takes ♪

#388
[quirky music] Ooohh. This smells like fun.

#389
Ooh,I love garbage. [lift dings]

#390
[Alastor] So, what did you hear?

#391
[Frank] First the old guy w-was all "you're not yourself,

#392
you're the one that killed the angel" a-a-and

#393
then she was all

#394
[sings] ♪ Whatever it takes ♪

#395
-And then what was that last thing? -She killed the angel?

#396
Interesting.

#397
Let's keep this between us, shall we?

#398
You got it, boss.

#399
[melancholy music]

#400
-[Vaggie] Hey. -[Charlie] Hey.

#401
[sighs] I'm sorry I got so crazy today.

#402
[Charlie] No, no, I'm sorry.

#403
I'm sorry I put pressure on you. We work as a team.

#404
I guess I just thought all this would be easier,

#405
But we'll figure it out... together.

#406
I mean, look what your exercise did for them.

#407
[all laughing]

#408
[Angel] And then when that buff guy started beating the shit outta you.

#409
Ha ha! Yes, with the dismembered arm.

#410
Yes, that was particularly unpleasant.

#411
[giggles] I liked that part.

#412
[Husk] Well hey,

#413
at least you can take a beating like a champ.

#414
You did okay, new kid.

#415
[Sir Pentious] Really? Oh, well,

#416
I suppose I did get into a little of the old rough and tumble today.

#417
[laughs]

#418
And thank you for pulling me out of there.

#419
[all laugh and giggle]

#420
[Vaggie] Well, how about that?

#421
-[door slams] -[Vaggie] Alastor...

#422
Failed to get rid of the eggs, I see.

#423
Yes, well, the little monsters prove to be rather useful.

#424
[Vaggie] Why don't you give them back to Pentious?

#425
-Really? -[Vaggie] Yeah.

#426
After today, I guess I can trust you with them.

#427
But seriously, no more weapons.

#428
[Pentious emotionally] Ahhhh! My eggs! Yeah.

#429
Oh it's so good to have you back.

#430
[shouts] Now go clean my quarters this instant!

#431
[Charlie] Maybe things will move faster than you think.

#432
[Sir Pentious] Ah! How was your day with Alastor my minions?

#433
It was awesome, boss.

#434
I went to this meeting and there was a knife lady,

#435
an old guy and a dinosaur.

#436
That's nice.

#437
And the nice lady killed an angel.

#438
And I was not supposed to talk about it--

#439
Oh, I'm so sure and maybe you'll meet martians tomorrow.

#440
But now it's time for sleep. Good night Eggies.

#441
[Frank yawns]

#442
[End credit music]

« Prev Page 1 of 1 Next » Back to Search