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Hazbin Hotel
» S01E04 — Masquerade
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Season 1, Episode 4 — Masquerade
#1
[Opening Credit Music]
#2
[sinister music]
#3
Huh?
#5
[gasps]
#11
I'd tell you anything.
#13
Do your worst, daddy.
#14
...Ohhhh, yeahhh, baby!
#15
[Angel] Ya know, this performance
#16
won me a 'Sex-x-x-i' award!
#17
It's, uh... very... honest?... Oh.
#18
[Vaggie] Ew!
#19
Okay! Enough of that. Angel, what the fuck?
#20
What?! You said it was "Show n' Tell" day.
#21
I'm showin ' you my best film,
#22
and I'm tellin' you that it scored me a win over that bitch,
#23
Tiffany Titfucker.
#24
[Husk] Ya know, not a very convincing interrogation scene.
#25
Alright dickhead,
#26
what makes you think you have any right to insult my work to my fuckin' face?
#27
You really going to sit there and act like these scripts
#28
ain't hot garbage?
#29
[gasps] Fuck you.
#30
This is classy art.
#31
[Angel on TV] OH! FUUUCK!!
#32
That's bullshit.
#33
You get drunk and bitch about them all the time.
#34
Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender.
#35
I know everything about you and these motherfuckers at this point.
#36
That one.
#37
That one is an insecure buffoon
#38
whose lonely ass watches you idiots sleep!
#39
Princess, is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everybody else's problems 'cept her own.
#40
What?! No, I-- what? Pffff, no, no.
#41
This one judges everyone and everything because she hates herself.
#42
Aargh!
#43
[Husk] And Niffty.
#44
Hehhh...
#45
You don't even wanna know what her deal is.
#46
-[slurps] -[Angel laughs]
#47
You weren't kidding!
#48
Haha, wow!
#49
Kitten's got claws !
#50
[sexily] Meow!
#51
And you!
#52
Don't get me started. I see right through you and all this bullshit
#53
and how fake you are.
#54
Oh, Me? Fake?
#55
Wow.
#56
I had no idea.
#57
Guess that's why I'm an actor.
#58
Dumbass
#59
And --
#60
[phone vibrates] Hold that thought.
#61
[Angel] Hello?
#62
Uh, yeah I'm-I'm...
#63
No, No, I just, I...
#64
[nervously] No, I-I'm not...
#65
But, uh... Yeah,
#66
I'll be right there.
#67
[Angel] Well, uh,
#68
looks like Val needs me for an...
#69
Uh-- emergency shoot.
#70
Uh-uh, Sure.
#71
You know what? Fuck you.
#72
I don't give a shit what some drunk ass bartender thinks a' me.
#73
So why don't you just crawl back
#74
to whatever cave you came from, porn critic.
#75
-[Husk growls] -[Charlie] Angel! You can't leave yet.
#76
We haven't finished our exercises for the day.
#77
I'm sure you'll manage without me.
#78
There isn't much time left for the hotel to prove itself.
#79
Dollface, it's my job.
#80
I know you want to fix everything, but unless you can fix my boss,
#81
there's nothing you can do.
#82
[door slams]
#83
Uuugh, why is this so haaaard?
#84
What am I doing wrong?
#85
[Vaggie] Well, I mean...
#86
- you're the princess of Hell, -So?
#87
So, you don't really use the power that comes with that,
#88
which I love about you,
#89
but maybe you can... I don't know,
#90
command a little more... authority.
#91
[Charlie] But that's so mean.
#92
It's not mean, exactly.
#93
it's... uh, aggressive kindness.
#94
[Charlie] Okay...
#95
I could be so aggressively kind to Angel's boss...
#96
that I convince him to let Angel spend more time at the hotel!
#97
[Vaggie] Sure. Whatever gets you there, babe.
#98
Ohhh! Daddy, I... uhhhh?...
#99
Do you really expect me to memorize this whole script?
#100
Just improv it.
#101
Do you think anyone watches for the dialogue?
#102
Action!
#103
[door slams open]
#104
[raunchy music] Oh, no.
#105
So many burglars...
#106
[sexily] and only one me!
#107
Whatever shall I do?
#108
I guess I'll have to do all of you!
#109
Ohh!
#110
So what are you gonna do ta' me?
#111
[Angel] Charlie?
#112
- Uh, my name's Rocky. - No one gives a shit.
#113
Oh, so this is where the magic happens.
#114
Oh, wow, that is -- [gasps]
#115
That is a lot.
#116
What in the ever-loving fuck are you doing here?!
#117
I am the Princess of Hell, Angel. And I go where I please.
#118
[softly] I'm here to get you some time off for the hotel. Now, where's your boss?
#119
Oh, no, no, no,
#120
no, no, no, no, no. You are going nowhere near Val--
#121
[Valentino] Angel!
#122
What is the fucking hold up?
#123
I'm coming.
#124
[Valentino] Not off camera. You're not.
#125
Please, please, just wait, wait until I'm done working
#126
and we will talk about this, I promise. But first, you've gotta go.
#127
[Valentino] Aaaah, Your Majesty.
#128
Oh, shit.
#129
Welcome to my humble sex dungeon.
#130
What can I do for such a-- [licks and slurps]
#131
Uh, no, thank you.
#132
[Valentino] Mm! Lovely specimen!
#133
You don't want a role, do you?
#134
Because I could make you a star.
#135
Make us both richer than, well,
#136
your papito--
#137
[Charlie] Fuck No!
#138
Uh, I-I'm sorry.
#139
I have come to aggressively, kindly
#140
speak with you about Angel.
#141
Later, of course.
#142
I wouldn't want to stand in the way of your work.
#143
Well then, make yourself comfortable, Your Majesty,
#144
and enjoy the show.
#145
Well, let's take this shit from the top.
#146
[Porn Director laughs] Action!
#147
[Angel] Oh, wow, mister robbers,
#148
I sure hope you don't hurt me with those...big guns of yours.
#149
[ Porn Actor Rocky] Don't move, you spicy little, uuh, cock sleeve or else I'll...
#150
[Charlie whispering] ...We do trust exercises everyday in the morning...
#151
[Valentino shouts] Cut! What the fuck is going on with this?
#152
Ooh, I'm sorry. Were we too loud?
#153
I was just telling him about the Hazbin Hotel.
#154
Not at all, Princess.
#155
It doesn't bother me one bit.
#156
You know, this scene feels awfully violent.
#157
If you want help with the script,
#158
maybe I can pitch some scenarios that are more--
#159
-[screams] -[electricity crackles]
#160
Okay. Okay. Ah, ah okay, that's on fire. That-that, that's on fire.
#161
[crew and actors scream] Oh shit...
#162
[indistinguishable melee]
#163
Oh, god. Okay. Uh, do you have any--
#164
-[Charlie] Can I get a fire extinguisher? -[Valentino sighs]
#165
I am so sorry. I ruined your movie. I ruined your movie.
#166
Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm s-s-s-s-s-sorry!
#167
[Charlie] Noooooo!
#168
[Valentino growls]
#169
[Angel] Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
#170
Oh, my gosh. I am so, so, so, so sorry.
#171
I-- I can clean this up, I-- I can--
#172
[Valentino] Don't you worry your pretty blonde head about it.
#173
We have people for that.
#174
Angel,
#175
can I see you in your dressing room for a moment?
#176
[suspenseful music]
#177
-[door slams] -[Angel] Val, I didn't know that--
#178
-[slaps] -[Valentino grunts]
#179
-[Angel smarts] Val, I--
#180
You really think you can have Lucifer's little bitch fight
#181
your battles for you? -[Angel pants]
#182
-Arrgh! Val, please... I'm sorry she-- -[Valentino growls]
#183
You bring her here to protect you?
#184
To fuck with me?
#185
[Angel] Ow! Val, stop!
#186
You think she can get you out of work?
#187
No! No, that's not what I'm trying to do. No--
#188
-[Valentino growls] -[Angel gasps]
#189
[Valentino menacingly] You know she can't do anything.
#190
I own you. Or have you forgotten that?
#191
[whimpers] No.
#192
When I say "come", you say?
#193
[Angel] Yes, Valentino.
#194
When I say "you are fucking 20 guys before lunch,"
#195
-you say? -Yes, Valentino.
#196
When I say "you better get that fucking
#197
[shouts] cunt out of my studio."
#198
[menacing music] You say?
#199
-[Angel] I... -[Valentino aggressively] You say ?
#200
Look, Val, she just gets involved in everything.
#201
I'll tell her to leave. Just don't hurt her.
#202
[Valentino] I have killed bitches for less than this attitude you're giving me.
#203
You're lucky you make me money.
#204
Now, you're going to go get rid of her,
#205
and then you are filming all night.
#206
Get me?
#207
Yes, Val.
#208
Good.
#209
-[Angel gasps] -[glass smashes]
#210
[Valentino loudly] All right.
#211
Get your asses back on set, and we are taking this from the top.
#212
[angrily] What makes you think you can treat him like that?
#213
Charlie! Just stop!
#214
Angel, what are you talking ab--
#215
Charlie, Leave!
#216
[Charlie] But...
#217
I didn't want you ta come here.
#218
I already asked you to leave and you didn't listen.
#219
You made things worse.
#220
I just wanted to help you.
#221
Well, you ain't!
#222
You actually want to help me?
#223
Get the fuck out of here!
#224
Right now, and let me finish my work.
#225
I... I didn't... [sobs]
#226
mean to! I... I'm... I'm so sorry.
#227
-[Charlie sobs] -[footsteps recede into the distance]
#228
-[door slams] -[Valentino laughs]
#229
Good boy.
#230
And action. [dark brooding music]
#231
♪ I'm not above a love to cash in ♪
#232
♪ Another lover underneath those flashing lights ♪
#233
♪ Another one of those ruthless nights ♪
#234
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
#235
♪ I shoulda guessed that this would happen ♪
#236
♪ I should have known it when I looked in your red hot eyes ♪
#237
♪ Spewing all your red hot lies ♪
#238
♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪
#239
♪ What's the worst part of this hell ♪
#240
♪ I can only blame myself ♪
#241
♪ Cause I know you're poison ♪
#242
♪ You're feedin' me poison ♪
#243
♪ Addicted to this feelin' I can't help but swallow up ♪
#244
♪ Your poison ♪
#245
♪ I made my choice and ♪
#246
♪ every night I'm living like there's no tomorrow ♪
#247
♪ Ohhhh ♪
#248
♪ Any way you want me baby ♪
#249
♪ That's the way you got me I'll be ♪
#250
♪ Yours ♪
#251
♪ My story's gonna end with me dead from your poison ♪
#252
♪ I got so good at being untrue ♪
#253
♪ I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear ♪
#254
♪ I disassociate, disappear ♪
#255
♪ Yeah-yeah-yeah ♪
#256
♪ So far beyond difficult ♪
#257
♪ To resist another gulp ♪
#258
♪ Yeah I know it's poison ♪
#259
♪ You're feedin' me poison ♪
#260
♪ I'm choking from the taste ♪
#261
♪ And I can't help but swallow up ♪
#262
♪ Your poison ♪
#263
♪ I made my choice and ♪
#264
♪ every night I'm wasted like there's no tomorrow ♪
#265
♪ Ohhh ♪
#266
♪ Any way you want me baby ♪
#267
♪ That's the way you got me I'll be ♪
#268
♪ yours ♪
#269
♪ My story's gonna end with me dead from your poison ♪
#270
♪ Poison ♪
#271
♪ I'm drowning in poison ♪
#272
♪ I'm fillin' up my glass ♪
#273
♪ But it's always hollow ♪
#274
♪ Full of poison ♪
#275
♪ I'm sick of the poison ♪
#276
♪ Wish I had something to live for tomorrow ♪
#277
[song ends]
#278
[groans]
#279
Eugh,
#280
I need a drink.
#281
The hardest you can make.
#282
[Husk] Hmm. You look like shit.
#283
[bottle cork pops] [Angel takes a deep breath]
#284
Pfft. Not possible.
#285
Just a long shoot,
#286
nothin' new. [liquor pours]
#287
[gulps] [laid back music]
#288
Eugh, I said a strong one.
#289
Excuse me.
#290
Didn't realize this was a "drinking to forget" kind of night.
#291
Oh, I forgot. You're the wise old bartender
#292
who's seen it all.
#293
Get the fuck over yourself and pour me a real drink.
#294
Look, if you got a problem,
#295
you're not going to find the solution at the bottom of a bottle.
#296
I should know, I've been looking there a long time.
#297
Oh sure,
#298
And where should I look? Hmm? [laid back piano music]
#299
[sexily] In your bedroom, maybe?
#300
Under the covers?
#301
Maybe we can go and look together.
#302
Don't even start.
#303
Oh, c'mon, I bet I can make those wings flap!
#304
[Husk] Stop! [glass smashes]
#305
Fucking Christ!
#306
You can cut the act already.
#307
It's never going to work on me. So all you're doing
#308
is makin' an ass out of yourself with this fake bullshit.
#309
[shouts angrily] Call me fake one more time,
#310
mother fucker!
#311
I dare you!
#312
[tense music]
#313
Fake.
#314
Fuckin' asshole
#315
Arrgh! God!
#316
Ya done?
#317
[growls angrily] Ya know what?
#318
You would be fucking lucky to get a chance to fuck me!
#319
Ya know how much I'm worth?
#320
Ya know how many people would kill to have Angel Dust come onto them?
#321
Fuck you!
#322
Have fun being a lonely piece of shit.
#323
Woah-- the hell? Angel, where are you going?
#324
[Angel] Out! [door slams]
#325
Husk, what did you do?
#326
Made him a drink.
#327
Oh, no.
#328
He looked really upset.
#329
It's just Angel. He'll be fine.
#330
I'm not so sure.
#331
I really messed up at the studio today and he got...
#332
Ugh, it was... it wasn't good, okay?
#333
[melancholy music] Gee, sounds like
#334
someone should go after him...
#335
Someone named "Husk".
#336
Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Why don't you go if you're so worried?
#337
Because I'm not the one who sent him storming out.
#338
You caused it. You drag him back.
#339
No! No...
#340
Don't force him back.
#341
Just make sure he's safe.
#342
I pushed too hard earlier and...
#343
I only made things worse.
#344
Look, he'll come back when he's ready.
#345
I just don't want anything to happen to him until then.
#346
[Husk growls]
#347
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go write 100
#348
apology letters and a lesson plan for tomorrow about...
#349
boundaries.
#350
[sirens blare]
#351
[snorts] Oh, yeah.
#352
[Husk growls]
#353
[Angel laughs] [Angel] I'm so fucked up!
#354
Gimme a whiskey...
#355
I meant the whole bottle, jackass.
#356
[Angel] ... Haha, ya, ya, so I said
#357
"You couldn't afford me in a million afterlives!"
#358
I got better options, right boys?
#359
[Gangsters laugh] You got that right!
#360
[Husk snarls] [Angel] Hey, baby,
#361
be a doll and bring me another one?
#362
Daddy's outta juice!
#363
[background bar music] [liquor pours]
#364
[bottle top pops]
#365
[Husk huffs]
#366
Here you go, darling.
#367
Just for you-- Woah!
#368
[Husk] Nice try, fuckhead.
#369
[gangster screams]
#370
[up tempo music] [guns click]
#371
-[Husk] Let's go. -[Angel] What the? Hey!
#372
[Angel] H-h-hey, hey!
#373
[Angel] Husk! What the actual fuck are you doing here?
#374
Let go of me.
#375
No, I'm takin' you back to the hotel.
#376
[Angel] Get off!
#377
That fucker put somethin' in yer drink.
#378
You don't think I can tell if someone spikes my drink?
#379
I do this all the fuckin' time.
#380
You just let people drug you all the time?
#381
You think I ask for it? I don't ask for any of this shit!
#382
I didn't ask to be this way.
#383
I didn't ask for Charlie to save me.
#384
I didn't ask for you to save me.
#385
I can handle myself.
#386
Really? Because I just saw someone self-destructing.
#387
It seems like-- I don't know.
#388
Ya might need a bartender to talk to.
#389
[Angel incredulously] Oh, so now you're going to act
#390
like you give a shit about me?
#391
You think after how you treated me, I'm gonna to open up to you? Please.
#392
Maybe I'd treat you better if you were real,
#393
and not some bullshit version of yourself.
#394
Always pushin' my boundaries.
#395
Lemme tell ya, nobody in that hotel cares who you are.
#396
How famous, how hot.
#397
[Husk] So you might as well just cut the act.
#398
[Angel] It's not an act!
#399
[sobbing] It's who I need to be.
#400
And this...
#401
This is my escape!
#402
Where I can forget about it all!
#403
How much I hate...
#404
everything.
#405
A place where I can get high,
#406
and not have to think about how much it hurts.
#407
And maybe...
#408
if I can ruin myself enough in the process,
#409
if I end up broken,
#410
I won't be his favorite toy anymore.
#411
And maybe he'll let me go.
#412
[muted street noise]
#413
[Husk sighs]
#414
I was an Overlord once, you know.
#415
Yeah,
#416
and uh...
#417
It was nice to have that power.
#418
But when you're dealing in souls,
#419
[atmosphere changes] while also being a gambler,
#420
[sinister music] the stakes are pretty high.
#421
And losing a few hands can be more than a little dangerous.
#422
So when you're down on your luck,
#423
you turn to anything to...keep you afloat,
#424
[sinister music continues] even making deals yourself.
#425
So I know what it's like to...
#426
regret the choices made and...
#427
knowin' ya can't take it back.
#428
[sirens blare in the distance]
#429
[soft ballad music]
#430
♪ So things look bad and your back's against the wall ♪
#431
♪ Your whole existence seems fucking hopeless ♪
#432
♪ You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall ♪
#433
♪ Can't face the world sober and dopeless ♪
#434
♪ You've lost your way ♪
#435
♪ Ya think your life is wrecked ♪
#436
♪ Well, let me just say you're correct ♪
#437
[Angel] Wait. What?
#438
[upbeat pop music] ♪ You're a loser baby ♪
#439
♪ A loser goddamn baby ♪
#440
♪ You're a fucked up little whiny bitch ♪
#441
-[Angel] Hey! -[Husk] ♪ You're a loser just like me ♪
#442
[Angel] Thanks, asshole
#443
[Husk] ♪ You're a screw's loose boozer ♪
#444
♪ An only one-star-reviews-er ♪
#445
♪ You're a power bottom at rock bottom ♪
#446
♪ But you got company ♪
#447
[Angel] This supposed to make me feel better?
#448
♪ There was a time ♪
#449
♪ I thought that no one could relate ♪
#450
♪ To the gruesome ways in which I'm damaged ♪
#451
[glass smashes]
#452
♪ But lettin' walls down ♪
#453
♪ it can sometimes set you straight ♪
#454
♪ We're all living in the same shit sandwich ♪
#455
[Angel] ♪ I sold my soul ♪
#456
♪ To a psychopathic freak ♪
#457
♪ [Husk laughs] And you think that makes you unique ♪
#458
♪ Get outta here man ♪
#459
♪ We're both losers baby ♪
#460
♪ We're losers it's okay to be a ♪
#461
[Angel] ♪ Coked-up dick suckin' ho ♪
#462
♪ Baby that's fine by me ♪
#463
♪ I'm a loser honey ♪
#464
♪ A schmoozer and a dummy ♪
#465
♪ But at least I know I'm not alone ♪
#466
[together] ♪ You're a loser just like me ♪
#467
[Husk] ♪ I got an appetite for gambling ♪
#468
[Angel] ♪ I got an appetite for samplin' ♪
#469
♪ Every drug gang sex toy I can find ♪
#470
[Husk] ♪ Go ahead, baby, sing that song, c'mon ♪
#471
[Angel] ♪ I got no Holes left to deflower ♪
#472
[Husk] ♪ I sold my soul to save my power ♪
#473
♪ Now I'm on that demon's leash
#474
♪ I'm trapped and it gets worse with every hour ♪
#475
[Angel] ♪ You're a loser baby ♪
#476
[Husk] ♪ A loser but just maybe ♪
#477
[both] ♪ If we eat shit together ♪
#478
♪ Things will End up differently ♪
#479
[Husk] ♪ It's time to Lose your self-loathing ♪
#480
♪ Excuse yourself let hope in ♪
#481
♪ Baby play Your card be who you are ♪
#482
[both] ♪ A loser ♪
#483
♪ Just... ♪
#484
♪ Like-- ♪ [song end abruptly]
#485
[Gangster] There he is!
#486
They're fucking singing ?
#487
Get em! [shots ring out]
#488
[frantic music]
#489
[Husk] Shit!
#490
Stay down, I'll deal with this.
#491
[Gangster] Haha! You're fuckin' dead.
#492
[explosion]
#493
[grunts]
#494
[maniacal laughing] We got you now!
#495
[Husk] You mother fuck--
#496
[Angel] Eat lead, sucker! Hahahaha!
#497
[machine gun continues firing]
#498
I told ya,
#499
I can handle myself, baby.
#500
[laughs maniacally]
#501
[explosion roars]
#502
[Gangster] This did not go as planned.
#503
Heh. Well,
#504
that was somethin' I didn't expect to see.
#505
Like I said, you don't know me.
#506
Sex ain't the only thing I'm good at.
#507
Good to know, cause this guy
#508
ain't half bad.
#509
[light music]
#510
[Husk and Angel laugh together]
#511
He had, like, three bills,
#512
and it took him, like,
#513
30 minutes to count it.
#514
His eyes are so shit.
#515
And this is the guy you got to take orders from?
#516
I know.
#517
What a fucking joke, right?
#518
[Charlie] I'm so sorry, Angel.
#519
I promise I won't ever,
#520
ever, ever, ever-
#521
[Angel] Charlie,
#522
it's fine. I get it.
#523
Thanks...
#524
for carin' about me.
#525
[Charlie sobs]
#526
Ehhhhh... I think this is yours.
#527
[Vaggie] Okay missy, let's get you to bed.
#528
He-- he-- said-- he--for-forgave meee!
#529
Oh, it's so beautiful Vaggie!
#530
Hey, how about that drink.
#531
You read my mind.
#532
[light music]
#533
[End Credit Music]
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