Home » Hazbin Hotel » S01E01 — Overture

Hazbin Hotel

Season 1, Episode 1 — Overture

#1
[Opening credit music]

#2
[gentle music]

#3
[Charlie] Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates

#4
known as Heaven. [epic music]

#5
It was ruled by beings of pure light.

#6
Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil.

#7
Lucifer was one of these angels.

#8
He was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation.

#9
But he was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven.

#10
For they felt his way of thinking was dangerous to the order of their world.

#11
So he watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways.

#12
From the dust of Earth, they created Adam and Lilith.

#13
Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this,

#14
Adam demanded control and Lilith refused to submit to his will.

#15
She fled the garden.

#16
Drawn in by her fierce independence,

#17
Lucifer found her and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love.

#18
Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity,

#19
offering the fruit of knowledge to Adam's new bride, Eve, who gladly accepted.

#20
But this gift came with a curse. [sinister music]

#21
For with this single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into Earth.

#22
With it, a new realm of darkness and sin.

#23
And the order Heaven had worked to maintain was shattered.

#24
As punishment for their reckless act,

#25
Heaven cast Lucifer and his love into the dark pit he had created,

#26
never allowing him to see the good that came from humanity,

#27
only the cruel and the wicked.

#28
Ashamed, Lucifer lost his will to dream.

#29
But Lilith thrived, empowering demon-kind with her voice

#30
and her songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew,

#31
so did its power.

#32
Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision.

#33
That every year, they would send down an army,

#34
an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them.

#35
But Lilith's hope remained.

#36
And her dream was passed down to their precious daughter

#37
the Princess of Hell.

#38
[Charlie] Don't worry, Mom. I'll make you proud.

#43
[distant gunfire and sirens] This story helps.

#44
[chuckles] I know. Don't worry. I enjoy your theatrics.

#45
Are you okay?

#46
I'm fine, just-- thinking ya know, family stuff.

#51
Off doing something important, I'm sure.

#52
But this kingdom was something she really cared about.

#53
Something I care about.

#54
Well, at least you aren't alone.

#55
I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work.

#56
It will. I have faith in you.

#57
All right. Come on.

#58
Alastor says he has something to show us.

#59
[Bell tolls]

#60
-[Static] -[Alastor] Well, hello there you wayward sinner.

#61
Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature?

#62
Of course you do. That's why you're in Hell!

#63
[upbeat music] But what would you say

#64
there was a place to stay that had none of that?

#65
Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel,

#66
a misguided path to redemption!

#67
Founded five days ago by Lucifer's delusional daughter

#68
Charlotte Morningstar!

#69
Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands

#70
as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you!

#72
Such as somewhat functional staff!

#73
-And 24 hour Pest Control!

#74
[Alastor] Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor!

#75
Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident.

#76
Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel!

#78
[video ends]

#79
So, what'd ya' think?

#80
I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?

#81
Uh, yeah, one note...

#82
Alastor, I mean--

#83
First off, thank you so much for making this seriously amazing,

#84
but um... maybe the tone is a bit...

#85
off?

#86
We want people to want to come here,

#87
this makes it look... ummm--

#88
[Vaggie] Bad. The word you're looking for is bad.

#89
Funny. I was going for hilarious!

#90
It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save

#91
demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point.

#92
Vaggie is right, Alastor.

#93
The commercial was to let Sinners know we are trying to help them.

#94
Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time,

#95
and everyone remembers me from my radio show!

#96
The proper medium to express oneself!

#97
But you insisted on this: noisy picture box advertisement,

#98
So I had a little fun with it.

#99
Oh, fun. You had a little fun with it?

#100
Well, this is not what we want to represent us.

#101
When you showed up here a week ago, you told us

#102
you would help run this hotel!

#103
Instead, you're mocking us.

#104
Nobody's going to want to come to a place

#105
that a powerful Overlord like you thinks is a waste of time!

#106
[sleazy music]

#107
What?

#108
[Angel] If'n ya filmin' a commercial,

#109
can I suggest you take better advantage

#110
of the talented celebrity you have right here?

#111
-Angel, you're a porn star. -A famous porn star.

#112
I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in.

#113
We are not filming a porn as a commercial.

#114
Why not? Sex sells, don't it?

#115
I swear if you film me goin' at it with mister fancy talk-creepy voice here,

#116
you'd be rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel.

#117
Haha! Never going to happen!

#118
Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your special skills

#119
to, um, attract folks to the hotel,

#120
but-- I really don't want to exploit you, in that way!

#121
[sleazy music] Oh, please, baby.

#122
This body was made to be exploited.

#123
I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs.

#124
I got the lung capacity-- Oh-oh I got the legs,

#125
-the gag reflex, the holes... -[Charlie laughs uncomfortably]

#126
-the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits -[phone rings]

#127
[Charlie] Uhhh, hold that thought. I'll be right back!

#128
I could keep goin' all night, baby.

#129
-[phone continues ringing fanfare style] -[Charlie sighs deeply]

#130
Hello? Dad?

#131
[inquisitive music] Hey, I have a question.

#132
If freaky face over there is so powerful,

#133
then why can't he just make people stay here?

#134
Oh, trust me, [ominously] I can!

#135
[Husk] Why do you think I'm here?

#136
[jazz music plays] You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles

#137
and listening to you fuck's bitch and moan all the time if he wasn't forcin' me?

#138
-[Niffty] I like being forced. -Keep that to yourself, Niff.

#139
What, you don't love being here with me, Whiskers?

#140
Call me "Whiskers" again and I'll jam that bottle down your throat.

#141
[jazz plays] Kinky. C'mon keep talkin' dirty.

#142
Ugh, Angel, let Husk do his job. And no, we can't force sinners to stay here.

#143
They need to choose to.

#144
I'm choosing to be here, and I think it's all stupid.

#145
We're in Hell, Toots.

#146
That's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?

#147
Well, maybe it doesn't have to be.

#148
Just because nobody has made it out before

#149
doesn't mean it's not possible.

#150
Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin' here rent free.

#151
Crack is expensive.

#152
[excitedly] Yeah, I can totally.

#153
Yeah, I'll head over there right away...

#154
Okay. [phone beeps]

#155
Hah! YES! YES!! Hahahaha!! [music soars]

#156
-[Charlie shouting] Vaggie! Holy shit! -Ahh! What?!

#157
[through closed mouth] Get over here!

#158
[sighs]

#159
What's going on?

#160
[Charlie excitedly] My dad just called. He said that the leader

#161
of the Angel Army wants to meet.

#162
-He asked if I could go instead. -[Vaggie] But...

#163
[Charlie breathes deeply]

#164
But-- But the extermination just happened.

#165
-What could they want this soon after-- -[light ballad music starts]

#166
♪ I can do this. Somehow, I know it ♪

#167
♪ I'll get Heaven behind my plan ♪

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- [Vaggie] Charlie, hold on. - ♪ There's just no way I could blow it ♪

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- ♪ Not this once in a lifetime chance ♪ - [Vaggie] It's just a meeting.

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♪ To change their minds And touch their hearts ♪

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♪ Or whatever angels have ♪

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[Vaggie] This could be bad.

#173
♪ Cheer up, Vaggie ♪

#174
This could be swell ♪

#175
♪ Something tells me that today Will be a happy day ♪

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[Charlie] ♪ In Hell ♪

#177
[Vaggie] Okay, but just don't... sing to them.

#178
[Angel] That bitch is halfway down the street.

#179
-Is she-- -Oh, she's dancin'.

#180
Ugh, no. [Upbeat musical style song]

#181
♪ There's a warm fuzzy feeling ♪

#182
♪ That wafts through the air ♪

#183
♪ Every street so revealing It's hard not to stare ♪

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♪ It's a realm so appealing It beats anywhere ♪

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♪ If you don't mind The smell ♪

#186
♪ It's a happy day in Hell ♪

#187
-Hi mister. -[demon] Go fuck yourself.

#188
[Dead Sinner #1] ♪ There's an endless trash fire ♪

#189
♪ That's burning my soul ♪

#190
[Imp] ♪ Got a ton of barbed wire To shove in his hole ♪

#191
- [Charlie] ♪ Uh, excuse me ♪ ♪ - [Executioner] ♪ Doing what is required ♪

#192
♪ We all have our role ♪

#193
[Dead Sinner #2] ♪ I'm not doing well ♪

#194
[Ensemble] ♪ Another shitty day in Hell ♪

#195
[music soars] ♪ If I can show Them the dream I've dreamed ♪

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- ♪ That any soul can change ♪

#197
[Vaggie] ♪ Those angels minds Are hard to change ♪

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♪ Then they will know Everyone can be redeemed From the evil to the strange ♪

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♪ They're bloodthirsty and deranged ♪

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♪ I can hear all their stories The lost and displaced ♪

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♪ And I know that They're more of an acquired taste ♪

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♪ But if I open the door And I give them a place ♪

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♪ At my Hazbin Hotel ♪ [music soars]

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♪ It'll be a happy day in Hell ♪

#205
[jaunty music]

#206
♪ From the porn studio Where the Cinephiles go ♪

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♪ To watch award winning Demon bukkake shows ♪

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♪ To the cannibal town Where they don't wear a frown 'cause ♪

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♪ Holy shit Ew, my gosh, why ♪

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♪ And I don't give a crow that His brains got in my eye ♪

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♪ Cause know I can spare them From Heaven's genocide ♪

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-♪ I can do this ♪ - ♪ There's an endless trash fire ♪

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-♪ I just know it ♪ -[Sinner] ♪ That's burning my soul ♪

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- ♪ I'll get Heaven behind my plans ♪ -[chorus] ♪ Ah ♪

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- ♪ There's just no way I could blow it ♪

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- [Sinner] ♪ I kinda like the barbed wire That's shoved in my hole ♪

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♪ Not this once in a lifetime chance ♪

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♪ To change their minds ♪

#219
[Trenchcoat Demon] ♪ And touch my parts ♪

#220
Oh... No, thank you. I'm just gonna...

#221
♪ Fulfill my destiny ♪

#222
[Trenchcoat Demon] Your loss bitch!

#223
♪ I can already tell ♪

#224
[music crescendos] ♪ Today is gonna be a Fucking happy day ♪

#225
♪ In Hell ♪

#226
Hello! [echoes]

#227
Hello? [echoes]

#228
Hello? [atmospheric music]

#229
Creepy...

#230
[bell dings]

#231
Oh, Okay. Also creepy.

#232
[door whooshes open]

#233
Uhh, hello?

#234
Is anyone here?

#235
-[Adam] 'Sup. - Holy Shit!

#236
Hi, I'm Charlie. My dad asked me if I could meet you.

#237
-Yeah, I know. -Okay, well, it's nice to meet you.

#238
Totally. Nice to meet you, too.

#239
-[fizzes] -[Charlie] Ohh!

#240
Ha! I fucking got you. Did you fuckin' see that?

#241
-Good shit. -[Charlie] Uh, so wait, you aren't here?

#242
No, you think I'd come down there? [laughs]

#243
No. I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes.

#244
Pretty fuckin' hardcore, don't get me wrong.

#245
But, it's such a bummer, man.

#246
Everything down there's just so "eugh" ya know?

#247
[chuckles] Ew.

#248
Right. So I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet.

#249
There's a project I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about--

#250
Hey, hey, hey, slow down. We got time. [chilled music]

#251
How about we get to know each other a little, mm?

#252
How about some lunch? You hungry?

#253
I got you!

#254
Here's my personal favourite. You'll love it.

#255
Uh, thanks! [hologram fizzes]

#256
[laughing] I got you again, bitch!

#257
Haha fuckin' hilarious! Haha!

#258
[Vaggie] Okay, so Charlie is dealing with something very important,

#259
so while she's gone, we are making a new commercial.

#260
One that represents her vision and what we're doing here.

#261
So we need a camera. Alastor? [fingers click]

#262
A video camera.

#263
Hmm?

#264
All right, let's do this!

#265
[camera whirrs into focus]

#266
And...

#267
Action.

#268
[Husk on TV] " Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel

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Can I help you with anything? "

#270
[Angel] " I've been a bad boy.

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And I need a big, strong daddy to put me in my place ...

#272
On the path to redemption. "

#273
-" Well, you come-- " -[Angel] "Oh yes! "

#274
[boredly] "...To the right place."

#275
Cut. Okay, Angel,

#276
I need you to be less horny, if possible.

#277
And Husk, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face?

#278
[angrily] I ain't no act.

#279
I can't memorize this shit.

#280
Well, we could improv this shit. Baby cakes. Rawrrr. [purrs seductively]

#281
[thuds]

#282
-[dryly] Whoops. -[Vaggie] Husk, Come on.

#283
[Adam] So I was playin' this gig, and for some fuckin' reason

#284
this virtue chick was diggin' on the drummer,

#285
and it's like, do you know who I am?

#286
I'm fuckin' Adam. I'm the original dick!

#287
All dicks descend from me.

#288
You think you want drummer dick? No way,

#289
I'm the Dick-fuckin' master!

#290
[eats sloppily]

#291
So anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome.

#292
What'd you do this weekend?

#293
Wait, your name is Adam?

#294
Like the first man Adam? That means you--

#295
Ohhh...

#296
[enlightened] That explains so much.

#297
I know. I fucking rock.

#298
Well, Adam, sir. Mr. Adam, sir.

#299
Call me Dickmaster.

#300
[gentle music] Adam, you seem like a smart--

#301
well, stand up guy.

#302
[sucking noises] Uh-huh.

#303
And I know you are the leader of the angels.

#304
And you are a big thinker, a revolutionary, a-- a genius!

#305
I mean, your words, babe.

#306
Who would really love to put his name on something.

#307
[rock guitar plays] Fucking love putting my name on shit.

#308
Shit's the best.

#309
It's a solution to our biggest problem!

#310
[music stops abruptly] Oh, herpes.

#311
Yeah, that's a bitch.

#312
No! Our other biggest problem.

#313
Oh, uh... ugly people?... Math?

#314
[ Adam] Global warming? Nah, wait that's Earth's problem.

#315
[Adam] Umm--

#316
[scuttling] [Niffty] Hehehe. Stab. Stab. Stab.

#317
[Vaggie] Alright Niffty. Niffty? Niffty!

#318
[gentle music] Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms."

#319
-Okay? -Got it. I'm ready.

#320
[camera beeps] Action.

#321
[silence]

#322
[hypnotic tone]

#323
Uhh... Cut. [camera beeps]

#324
[giggles] How was that?

#325
Well Niffty, you actually have to say the line. So let's roll again.

#326
-[Niffty] Okay. -[Vaggie] Action.

#327
[hypnotic tone]

#328
[silence]

#329
-You're doing great, Vagina. -Cut!

#330
Alright, um, maybe we can try to fix it in post.

#331
[Angel] Do you even know what that means?

#332
[angrily] I'll figure it out.

#333
-[static on TV] -[Husk on TV] Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.

#334
[Vaggie groans]

#335
-[melancholic music] -[Vaggie groans]

#336
[Alastor] Seems like you're having a bit of trouble there, hm?

#337
Ugh, este pendejo... Why are you even here?

#338
For the entertainment!

#339
I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls

#340
struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly.

#341
Like you are doing now!

#342
Good Job!

#343
And here is Alastor, [camera beeps]

#344
the egocentric piece of shit that--

#345
-[camera sparks] -[Vaggie groans]

#346
I wouldn't try that my dear.

#347
[sinisterly] This face was made for radio!

#348
[tense music] [Vaggie] That's it!

#349
I don't care who or what you are.

#350
If you are staying here, you are going to make this work.

#351
Because it won't be so "entertaining"

#352
to watch over an empty hotel will it, shitass?

#353
Fair enough. I'll tell you what!

#354
-Let's make a deal. -Pft!

#355
Do you think I'm that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you.

#356
Not for your soul, just a simple deal.

#357
I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage

#358
with this frivolous television technology ever again.

#359
Or... Charlie can come back to absolutely nothing!

#360
your choice.

#361
[Vaggie sighs] Fine.

#362
[ominous music]

#363
[camera crackles] [haunting music]

#364
Now then.

#365
[grand music swells]

#366
Alright, everyone! Let's make a fucking commercial.

#367
[Adam] --When you take her out for the fifth time

#368
and she still expects you to pay the check, but you're like,

#369
[high pitched voice] "Hey I thought you wanted equality"

#370
[Vaggie frustrated] No! Our shared problem of

#371
overpopulation in Hell.

#372
Ohh! Well, that's not a problem! We got that covered.

#373
Lute, how many demons did you kill this year?

#374
Got a good 275 this year, sir.

#375
275? Whoa, Badass!

#376
Awesome job, danger tits! Pound it.

#377
Uh, no, not awesome.

#378
Those are my people, you know that, right?

#379
Ohhh, yeah...

#380
That must suck for you. Hahahaha.

#381
But these are souls.

#382
Human souls, just the same as the ones you have up in Heaven.

#383
They are not the same.

#384
They had their chance and they earned damnation.

#385
You're wrong.

#386
Sinners made mistakes, sure,

#387
but everyone makes mistakes.

#388
Angels don't make mistakes.

#389
You really think that?

#390
I know that.

#391
Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fuckin' life

#392
[sinister music] [Lute] The only reason you're still here

#393
is because Daddy gave you and your Hellborn-kind

#394
a pardon from an exorcist blade.

#395
How does that feel? To know how little you matter.

#396
Oops, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it--

#397
Oh! Fuck!--

#398
[upbeat music]

#399
I've got a lot to get through. and not a lot of time.

#400
and I feel like you weren't really hearing me before, so here it goes.[clears throat]

#401
[frantic singing] ♪ I know Hell's population ♪

#402
♪ Is out of control ♪

#403
♪ It's a bad situation ♪

#404
It's taking a toll ♪

#405
♪ If we rehab these sinners ♪

#406
♪ And cleanse all their souls ♪

#407
♪ At my Hazbin Hotel ♪

#408
Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination!

#409
♪ I know you guys fly down Just to kill once a year ♪

#410
♪ And it must be annoying To schlep all the way here ♪

#411
♪ If they join you in Heaven That trip disappears ♪

#412
♪ you can wave that chore farewell ♪ [deep breath]

#413
♪ It'll be a happy day in-- ♪

#414
[Adam] ♪ Let me stop you right there

#415
♪ Save us all precious time ♪

#416
♪ If what you're suggesting Is letting them climb ♪

#417
♪ Up the ladder oh they'd Rather cross the Pearly Gates ♪

#418
♪ Sorry, sweetie but there's no Defyin' their fates ♪

#419
♪ 'Cause Hell is forever Whether you like it or not ♪

#420
♪ Had their chance to behave Better now they boil in the pot ♪

#421
♪ 'Cause the rules are black & White There's no use in tryin' To fight it ♪

#422
♪ They're burnin' for their Lives Until we kill 'em again ♪

#423
-[Charlie] Okay, but-- - ♪ Let's just try to chillax babe ♪

#424
-♪ You're wasting your breath ♪ -[Charlie nervously] Hehe...

#425
♪ Did I hear you imply ♪

#426
♪ That they don't deserve death ♪

#427
♪ Are they winners, Are they Sinners

#428
'Cause it's cut and dry ♪

#429
Well actually if you take a look--

#430
♪ Fair is fair, an eye for an eye ♪

#431
♪ And when all's said and done There's the question of fun ♪

#432
♪ And for those of us with Divine ordainment ♪

#433
♪ Extermination is Entertainment ♪ [music rocks]

#434
[scats] ♪ Guitar solo, fuck yeah ♪

#435
-[Adam sings guitar solo] -[Charlie] Ugh...

#436
[music breaks down] ♪ Hell is forever ♪

#437
♪ Whether you like it or not ♪

#438
♪ Had their chance to behave better ♪

#439
♪ Now they boil in the pot ♪

#440
♪ 'Cause the rules Are black & white ♪

#441
There's no use in tryin' To fight it ♪

#442
♪ They're burnin' for their Lives ♪

#443
♪ Until we kill 'em again ♪

#444
[music builds] ♪ Fuckin' Hell is forever ♪

#445
♪ And it's meant To suck a lot ♪

#446
♪ So give up Your dumb endeavor ♪

#447
♪ Cause you don't have a shot ♪

#448
♪ Long as I've got your Attention, I guess I should Probably mention ♪

#449
♪ That we've made the Determination ♪

#450
- ♪ To move up the next Extermination ♪ -[Charlie] What!

#451
♪ Can't wait a whole year to Slaughter those little cunts ♪

#452
♪ I know it's just been a week But we'll be back in six months ♪

#453
[rock guitar shreds] Um, wait, didn't you--

#454
[guitar shredding continues] [door closes]

#455
Awh, shit!

#456
[song ends]

#457
[door closes]

#458
[Vaggie] Charlie.

#459
How did it go? Did they listen?

#460
Oh, uh... They sure did... hear it! But, um...

#461
Oh! Come here. We have something exciting to show you!

#462
[soft music]

#463
Alastor pulled some strings, and it's about to air.

#464
I pulled a few limbs too! Hahaha! [laughs]

#465
Wait? The commercial?

#466
You all made a new one?

#467
Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do say so myself.

#468
That's... that's amazing.

#469
[Angel] Shush, it's starting!

#470
[Vaggie on TV] Welcome to the Hazbin Hot--

#471
[news theme] [indistinct angry reactions]

#472
[newsreader] Breaking news in Hell today!

#473
We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy

#474
that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before.

#476
It means we are all royally fucked.

#477
[ sinners scream and sirens blare]

#478
[Angel] Wait... What? Why?!

#479
[dramatic music]

#480
[Lute] We found the body, sir.

#481
They've never managed to kill one of us before.

#482
We should just go down there now and destroy them.

#483
No, no. We can't risk them catching on.

#484
[sinister music] But don't worry, when we come back,

#485
there won't be a demon left alive to pull a stunt like this again!

#486
[light projector shatters]

#487
[End credit music]

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