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Season 1, Episode 4 — Social Psychology

#4
I found your feedback

#5
to be largely constructive

#6
and flattering.

#8
De nada.

#10
Got it.

#12
that was so harsh

#13
and hurtful and racist

#16
against past exams.

#25
[♪♪♪]

#27
Yeah, shoot.

#28
You forget something?

#32
across campus

#35
That's mean.

#41
Yeah, but I'm a sprinter.

#42
I'm at my best during

#43
high speed bursts of wit.

#44
On a Shirley walk,

#45
I'd be winded

#46
by that stoner tree.

#49
No worries.

#50
Interesting.

#51
Because I might be worried

#52
if I was playing hacky sack

#53
a decade too late.

#54
My class is that way.

#55
All right.

#56
I wanna point out

#57
we easily walked

#58
more than a hundred yards

#59
with no awkward pauses.

#60
That is the sign

#61
of a true friend. So...

#64
There's the awkward pause.

#65
Aah!

#66
[♪♪♪]

#67
ANNIE:

#68
Excuse me. Oh, pardon me.

#74
Oh. Hello.

#77
The Duncan Principle.

#78
Yes.

#86
but made me lose

#88
Right.

#92
I've been in this

#93
situation many times,

#94
so I'm just gonna be upfront.

#95
I'm not allowed

#96
to date students.

#98
Though you're an eight.

#99
Which is a British ten.

#100
Oh.

#101
I'm angry.

#103
you may join the lab.

#104
Oh!

#105
Ah.

#106
Okay, you need to bring

#107
two human subjects.

#111
in my duffle

#115
BRITTA:

#116
I never knew

#117
what asexual meant.

#118
I wonder what this

#119
express package could be.

#120
Somebody had to get

#121
something to me fast.

#123
Oh, yes. My Ear-Noculars.

#124
What is that? Looks like

#125
your blue-tooth.

#126
No, no, no.

#128
And this is Ear-Noculars.

#129
For spies.

#130
Gives you sonic hearing.

#132
What's that?

#133
So who wants to be

#135
Hey, guys, guys.

#136
Annie is talking

#138
She's behind you.

#139
Not interested.

#140
Please. You get paid.

#142
No.

#148
Oof. Tomorrow,

#149
they're showing all four

#150
Indiana Joneses.

#152
three. I bought a whip.

#154
This is important to me,

#155
Abed.

#156
Could you go as my friend?

#157
My really good friend?

#165
Oh, thank you, Abed.

#167
I'm gonna go save Britta

#170
Hope he doesn't try

#172
[BOTH LAUGHING]

#176
You in line?

#180
No, just seeing if Britta--

#181
No judgment, bro.

#182
I used to do coffee.

#183
Then I made the switch

#184
to green tea,

#185
it's like filled

#186
with these antioxidants.

#187
It's pretty tight.

#188
Tight. Yes, I've heard that

#189
about green tea.

#190
I like green tea.

#191
I should make the change.

#192
Up top, sugar bear.

#194
Small coffee.

#195
[♪♪♪]

#196
Britta's making the change

#197
to green tea.

#200
Turn your attention

#201
to the monitor,

#202
you will see

#203
our subjects are waiting

#204
for the experiment to begin.

#205
But...

#206
it's actually happening

#207
right now.

#208
Oh, wow.

#209
You see,

#212
The more control lost by--

#213
Yeah, I'm gonna write

#214
this down too.

#215
That's a good point.

#216
The more control lost

#217
by the ego,

#218
the more gained by the id.

#219
Resulting

#221
emotional eruption

#222
or breaking point.

#223
Known to Ma and Pa

#225
[ALL LAUGHING]

#226
Oh. Annie.

#227
Why don't you, uh, go

#228
and tell our subjects

#229
we're gonna be starting

#230
in five minutes.

#231
[♪♪♪]

#232
And, Annie,

#233
it's never actually

#234
going to start.

#235
Ha-ha-ha.

#236
Let's do this.

#237
Hi, everyone.

#238
Hi, Troy. Hi, Abed.

#239
Hi, Señor Chang.

#242
Well, we're just running

#243
a little bit behind,

#244
so we'll probably start

#245
in about five minutes.

#246
No, no, no!

#247
No, no, no!

#250
something starts at 9,

#251
it starts at nueve.

#252
[MOANING]

#253
No, no!

#254
Houston, we have an idiot.

#255
[♪♪♪]

#259
been walking together,

#263
Mm-hm.

#267
You got a kid?

#269
Nothing.

#271
in the head, is he?

#272
I know a lot of men

#273
with radar dishes

#277
How about that guy

#278
flirting with Britta?

#280
Vaughn?

#283
We're three hours in,

#284
let's review what we've seen.

#285
And pay close attention

#286
to every subject's

#287
breaking point.

#289
Ah!

#290
That one's a stomper.

#291
Bye, hippie.

#293
bouncing up and down

#294
like a 6-foot child.

#295
Shaking, write that down.

#296
Visible shakes.

#299
I can make them go quicker,

#300
like Benny Hill.

#302
That's very funny.

#303
Lightens the mood.

#305
And then there were two.

#306
[♪♪♪]

#316
were tonight.

#317
You promised...

#318
[SOBBING]

#319
And he's out. We got him.

#320
It's strike three.

#321
You're gone.

#323
Know what?

#324
The longer they wait,

#325
the harder they break.

#326
Buckle up, students.

#332
I'm so glad to be able

#333
to talk to someone.

#334
I wanted to say

#335
something to Britta.

#336
We're supposed to be friends.

#337
She'd think I was jealous.

#342
We're not pandas

#343
in a zoo.

#344
[CHUCKLES]

#346
[♪♪♪]

#348
And there goes the shirt.

#349
[COIN JINGLES]

#350
[♪♪♪]

#351
[TAPPING]

#353
Hey, I'm fine. Oh.

#354
Want me to, uh, check you

#355
for grass stains?

#356
I wasn't sure

#358
that I was hanging out

#359
with Vaughn.

#361
fun of him and me.

#362
Uh, First of all,

#363
friends don't make fun

#364
of each other,

#365
even if they're being tackled

#366
in the quad by a hippie.

#367
And secondly, Vaughn...

#368
seems cool.

#369
You guys

#371
I gotta go. I, uh--

#374
Oh, no worries, brah.

#375
[♪♪♪]

#376
Shirley.

#377
Did you see

#378
Señor Chang's socks today?

#380
Ha-ha.

#385
I'm trying to be

#386
a good friend to Britta.

#387
She thought I was gonna

#388
make fun of him,

#389
but I wanna be unpredictable.

#391
the jerk she thinks I am.

#394
Tell me you noticed

#401
No.

#403
No!

#404
Is-- Is it on pause?

#406
Sorry you've been waiting

#407
26 hours.

#408
It's just gonna be

#409
another five minutes.

#410
Okey-dokey.

#412
Oh, my--

#413
Why won't he leave?

#415
What?

#416
I'm sorry,

#417
this guy's not moving.

#418
I have classes to go to.

#419
Go, fine.

#420
Go kill John Lennon again,

#421
you loser.

#422
He's ruined my study.

#423
He has warped

#424
the Duncan Principle.

#425
Damn you,

#427
Ow!

#428
Aah!

#429
It's you.

#430
It's your fault.

#431
But you told me

#432
to bring subjects.

#433
Yeah, subjects.

#434
Not Rain Man.

#436
into this lab,

#437
Miss Annie Fanny

#438
Panties in a Bunch.

#443
with another question.

#444
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

#445
It's not fair.

#446
It's not fair.

#447
[YELLING]

#448
What are you doing?

#449
Stop writing.

#450
Put your-- Give me that.

#451
Get out!

#452
Get out, you dorks!

#453
Get out!

#454
[DUNCAN PANTING]

#455
You have destroyed

#456
the Duncan Principle.

#457
[♪♪♪]

#458
Go home!

#459
Cool.

#460
See you.

#466
Ha-ha-ha.

#470
Gonna get dessert.

#471
Want anything?

#472
Carrots.

#473
Oh, I'm good.

#474
Hey, you two.

#476
Well, that's a cool shirt.

#480
I guess it's, well-- Uh...

#483
Oh, that's nice.

#484
You know, people

#487
throwing the 'bee,

#489
It's just inspiring.

#491
I'm gonna think about it.

#492
All right.

#495
See you.

#497
I know.

#498
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

#503
You said, "Sunday."

#505
You like Vaughn?

#506
Oh, he-- he's very cute.

#508
he's thinking

#512
School?

#514
Dinner mints?

#516
Not having sex.

#517
[SIGHS]

#519
What? Forget that.

#520
The problem right now

#523
It's getting

#524
a little relationship-y.

#525
And he gave me something.

#527
No.

#529
A poem?

#534
And it's one I will answer--

#535
Uh-- Oh, I'm getting a text.

#536
I'm just gonna read it

#537
if you don't mind.

#540
"Did you ever notice

#542
Did ya? It's

#543
The same wizard blue

#544
That I see

#545
In your eye, Britta"

#546
No! Wizard blue.

#547
Oh!

#552
Look at this. Look at this.

#554
over the word, "rad."

#559
I'm surprised he can read.

#562
Hey, sorry about bailing

#563
on the psych experiment.

#564
That was the experiment.

#566
would wait in the room.

#568
Oh.

#570
"Gotcha"?

#572
Yeah.

#573
You sat in a room

#574
for 26 straight hours.

#575
Didn't that bother you?

#578
You asked me to stay

#580
Wait. Is this still

#581
the experiment?

#582
He's more like a puppy

#583
with a fish mouth.

#584
Right, right, right.

#585
It's more like this:

#587
That's right. Laugh it up.

#589
Yeah.

#591
Making fun of all of us.

#592
I heard you

#593
with my own Ear-Noculars.

#594
Pierce,

#596
Calling me Hacky Sack,

#597
and ripping my--

#598
My six pack abs

#599
and my moist hair.

#600
And that face you made:

#602
This is definitely

#603
still the experiment.

#604
We were not

#605
making fun of you.

#606
We're making fun

#608
Oh, good. Well, in that case,

#609
if we're gonna do something,

#610
do it as a team.

#611
I'll get the ball rolling.

#612
Maybe he has a tiny penis.

#614
You all have to see him.

#615
Everything's,

#616
"No worries."

#617
Always says hello

#618
three times in a row.

#619
"Hello, good evening,

#620
how are you?"

#621
And look, he wrote a poem.

#622
[ALL LAUGHING]

#624
We shouldn't.

#628
He just said it.

#631
[ALL LAUGHING]

#632
Ha-ha. What a fool.

#634
This group's got a case

#635
of the giggles, huh? Heh.

#638
No.

#639
Why's the dinosaur

#641
Here, read it.

#646
No.

#650
[♪♪♪]

#651
I can't believe you.

#652
Honestly, Jeff, how dare you?

#654
He's crying.

#655
Now, he's barking.

#659
Can't believe

#660
I showed that poem.

#661
Oh, my God,

#662
my life is Degrassi High.

#663
Oh, Jeff.

#664
I have a gossip problem.

#675
Hey, look at the size

#676
of that woman's earrings.

#677
It's like little dogs

#679
[BOTH LAUGHING]

#682
Don't do this.

#683
Look, we can still hang out.

#684
It's just, you know,

#685
we won't bag on people.

#686
Come on.

#691
Well...

#694
Jeff. Wait, wait.

#696
but one last

#697
little piece of gossip.

#698
[♪♪♪]

#699
Britta told me

#701
You still have a chance.

#703
Details.

#704
Details. Details.

#705
Abed, here.

#706
I wanna just say sorry

#707
for yelling at you.

#708
Indiana Jones, cool.

#709
I just got

#711
BOTH:

#712
The fourth one blows.

#716
I know, and I'm sorry.

#720
Vaughn broke up with me.

#722
You broke my trust. You suck.

#725
I couldn't handle

#727
What do you wanna be?

#728
Is...

#737
How about the friend level

#738
where you sometimes

#739
have to cat sit?

#742
I won't complain.

#745
She stirs the pot.

#746
She's a pot stirrer.

#747
Sorry, dudes.

#748
No worries, man.

#751
♪ Now there was a time ♪

#753
♪ When you loved me so ♪

#754
♪ I could have been wrong ♪

#756
funny about that guy.

#759
Oh, hi, Jeff.

#761
Oh, no. Pierce, Pierce,

#762
give me your ear thing.

#764
♪ I found a brand new love

#765
For this man ♪

#774
to us in this range.

#775
The people we love.

#776
♪ How you like me now ♪

#777
♪ How you like me now ♪

#778
♪ How you like me now ♪

#780
Inspector Gadget.

#781
♪ How you like me now ♪

#782
ABED:

#783
Oh, I think it's time

#784
for Burning Man.

#785
TROY:

#788
ABED:

#789
Wow, I love reading and

#791
TROY:

#792
Hey, man, coming through,

#794
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

#795
TROY:

#796
I'm Dr. Doogie Seacrest.

#797
I think I'm better than

#798
everyone else because I'm 40.

#799
I'm not 40.

#800
I can hear you

#801
through the window, morons.

#802
Just pretend like

#803
you asleep.

#804
Just pretend

#805
like you were sleeping.

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