Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S16E06 — Risk E Rat's Pizza and Amusement Center

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 16, Episode 6 — Risk E Rat's Pizza and Amusement Center

#1
♪ Oh, yeah ♪

#2
[gang singing along] ♪ Do it, do it, do it ♪

#3
♪ Do whatever you want ♪

#4
♪ At Risk E. Rat's Pizza ♪

#5
♪ Do whatever you want ♪

#6
♪ Entertain, go crazy, have fun, go nuts ♪

#7
♪ At Risk E. Rat's Pizza ♪

#8
♪ Do whatever you want ♪

#9
♪ Do whatever you want. ♪

#10
[grunts] That hits.

#11
-I am so psyched that we're going back. -[grunts]

#12
-Yeah, yes. -Yeah, yeah.

#13
You guys, I mean, arcade games, pizza, comedy.

#14
-What more do you want in a place? -You can't beat it.

#15
The best part about Risk E. Rat's, though,

#16
is that they make kids feel like they're the ones in charge.

#17
-Yeah... -Totally.

#18
Like, that's where I became a man

#19
and saw my first set of boobies, at Risk E.'s. [laughs]

#20
-Really? -Uh-huh. -Wait, what?

#21
Wait a minute. Hold on. I don't know about this.

#22
Oh, yeah, dude, Justine the Teen Dream.

#23
She was one of the robots in the Animatronic No Rules Band.

#24
-You guys remember that? -Yeah, of course.

#25
Right, so if you got off the Train to Kid City

#26
and you snuck backstage, you could see under her shirt

#27
-just before she came out to perform. -Ooh...

#28
-[laughs] -Uh, yeah, I remember hearing about that,

#29
but I thought that was just a legend.

#30
-That's real, dude. -No, that was real, dude.

#31
-You saw them? -I saw 'em, I saw 'em.

#32
-Yeah. Yeah. -That was the fir-first set of boobs I ever saw

#33
-since my mom's, so... -Yeah. [groans]

#34
Do they still have that room where they paddle you

#35
-if you're out of line? -Oh, no, uh, in our day

#36
they called it the Time-Out Room.

#37
And you would just go and sit there

#38
and fester in your candy-fueled rage for about 20 minutes.

#39
-[chuckling] -Then you learned your lesson,

#40
and they'd send you back out to unleash it on the kids.

#41
Yeah, listen, at the end of the day

#42
it's all part of the fun.

#43
I know, but speaking of fun, let's keep the song...

#44
-Yeah, yeah, turn the song back on. -Yeah, crank that shit.

#45
-Yeah, yeah, play it again. -♪ Cool ♪

#46
-Here comes the... -♪ Oh, yeah ♪

#47
♪ Do it, do it, do it, do whatever you want ♪

#48
♪ At Risk E. Rat's Pizza, do whatever you want. ♪

#49
♪ ♪

#50
They really spruced this place up, huh?

#51
-Looks good. -Yeah, yeah.

#52
But it still sounds the same, though, right?

#53
But, boy, that noise sure would send the parents running,

#54
-wouldn't it? -[Dee] Yeah.

#55
-[laughs] -Oh, remember when the moms would go

#56
-in the padded bar? -Oh, yeah, they soundproofed it.

#57
Yeah, they soundproofed it so you couldn't hear it.

#58
-[laughs] -Yeah. -Oh, they would get hammered.

#59
[Charlie] What you got there, bozo?

#60
Just need you to sign these waivers.

#61
Eh, no waivers, no.

#62
I'm not really supposed to let you in

#63
unless you sign this.

#64
Oh, yeah, well, listen.

#65
Well, I agree it's total bullshit

#66
that we would have to sign a waiver

#67
and also that we could bum-rush you

#68
and there's nothing you could do about it.

#69
But you know what? Listen, today

#70
we're just gonna have fun, we're not gonna do any of that.

#71
We'll sign your goddamn waivers,

#72
but I want you to know that, for the record,

#73
we're doing this under protest.

#74
Sure, I don't care.

#75
-Okay. Cool, man. -Hey, here's a little something for you.

#76
[quietly] That's not my name.

#77
Yeah, I just went... [gibbers, laughs]

#78
There's a bottom section, too... okay.

#79
-All right, man. -None of 'em are really...

#80
Okay.

#81
Mmm.

#82
What the hell are you doing?

#83
Drinking water.

#84
What does it look like I'm do...?

#85
Get the hell out of here!

#86
Frank, what...?

#87
-I guess he's thirsty. -Yeah.

#88
All right, well, we have a few hours before the show begins.

#89
I was thinking I would go redeem my old tickets

#90
and then maybe play some Skee-Ball.

#91
-Yeah, good call, man. Nice. Have fun, have fun. -Yeah?

#92
-Get it, go ahead. Yo. -Hey, uh, Charlie, um,

#93
I can't get past

#94
-this whole Justine the Teen Dream thing. -Sure.

#95
And this feeling that I just missed out on my childhood.

#96
-Yeah, mm-hmm. -And I'm just wondering if

#97
-maybe you want to... -Yes, I do.

#98
-Yeah? -Yeah, let's go.

#99
Uh... Well, they're gonna go check out

#100
some animatronic titties, so...

#101
Hey, you want to do the joke hunt?

#102
-Yeah! Did you have that when you were a kid? -Yeah.

#103
Where you search around for the little pieces of cheese

#104
and they have jokes attached?

#105
Yeah, and if you got 'em all...

#106
-Yeah. -...you'd get to meet Risk E. himself.

#107
And he'd do his whole routine for you.

#108
Where he would smack his kids in the head

#109
because they were pieces of shit

#110
and then he would bust his brother

#111
because he was a lazy drunk.

#112
That was so funny.

#113
-[both laugh] -Oh, yeah. I mean, that, that's funny.

#114
They changed it a bit by-by the '80s.

#115
-Oh. -Yeah, I think they...

#116
It was a little bit more highbrow and, like,

#117
um, uh, topical,

#118
like, like, uh, like diverse ethnic stuff.

#119
Oh, ethnic, yeah. Racist.

#120
Mm, no, no. Not, not racist.

#121
Thinks like, um, you know, like making fun of people

#122
for not belonging here.

#123
Right? Or like, like it's funny when people sound funny

#124
because they're, they don't, they're not from...

#125
they're not from here.

#126
Yeah, because of their race.

#127
Hmm, I don't think that was it because it was like,

#128
it's like a fish out of water...

#129
-kind of... -Uh, okay.

#130
Satire? I don't know.

#131
I can't wait to see who the victims are

#132
these days.

#133
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Totally. -Yeah. Let's go.

#134
-Let's-let's go find some cheese. -Let's... okay.

#135
Let's go. Let's go this way.

#136
-Yeah. -Come on.

#137
♪ ♪

#138
No more Game Boys, but they do have a PlayStation.

#139
That's an upgrade.

#140
-Can I help you, sir? -Ah, yes, you can.

#141
I brought my tickets and I'd like to make a purchase.

#142
Where are your guns?

#143
Uh, excuse me?

#144
Uh, the gun section.

#145
I'm very specifically looking for Risk E.'s rifle.

#146
It had a real heavy feel to it,

#147
it was very realistic, had a good smoky bang.

#148
I used to put pebbles in there

#149
and I could fire them, like, right at Charlie's eye.

#150
It was awesome.

#151
Oh, uh, I don't think we have anything like that.

#152
We have an orange space laser.

#153
What t he hell am I supposed to do with an orange space laser?

#154
Have you ever seen anybody use a space laser in real life?

#155
How do I simulate

#156
real-world violence with something like that?

#157
Why would you want to simulate real-world violence?

#158
To get it out of my system, bozo.

#159
All right, fine. Forget it.

#160
Just get me one of those, um...

#161
switchblades that are combs.

#162
I don't know what that is.

#163
The switchblades that become combs

#164
that you can threaten your friends with,

#165
but then you don't know whether it's a blade or a comb.

#166
You know what I'm talking about?

#167
Okay, how about some of that, um...

#168
can you get me some of that gum

#169
that I can put in my mouth and pretend like I got,

#170
like, a big old fat lip and spit all over the place?

#171
You know what I'm talking about? The...

#172
I don't think we have those--

#173
What about the candy cigarettes? Give me candy cigarettes!

#174
Those were discontinued because cigarettes are illegal.

#175
Okay, for Christ's sakes,

#176
can you get me like...

#177
the extra large Atomic FireBalls?

#178
I believe they were considered a choking hazard.

#179
Oh, my God, a-a box of Nerds, nerd.

#180
Now, Nerds.

#181
Oh, you got those.

#182
What the...?

#183
What is, what is this? Where's the mouse hall?

#184
[Dennis] Hold on a second.

#185
What, what? So you're telling me they shut down the-the-the

#186
Ride to Kid City for a superstore?

#187
I mean, there's clearly no mouse hall.

#188
There's no way to access this thing.

#189
-Dude, what are they doing, man? -I don't know...

#190
Also, okay, what's up with the helmet, right?

#191
-[stammers] -Risk E. does not wear a helmet, remember?

#192
If he would fall and hit his head, he would say...

#193
"That's what the bone's for."

#194
"That's what the bone was for," right?

#195
And he'd come up, he'd crack you on the back of the head.

#196
He'd smack you in the back of the head.

#197
-"That's what the bone is for!" -"Bone is for!"

#198
-[goofy laugh] -I mean, that was, like...

#199
-part of the fun of it. -It's unbelievable, man.

#200
-Things change, I-I get that. -Okay, fine.

#201
-Things change, right? -Yeah.

#202
I mean, look, I don't want to be that old guy

#203
who's, like, complaining about the way things used to be,

#204
but, you know, I, uh...

#205
-Want to see boobs. -I just do.

#206
You didn't get to see 'em,

#207
and it was a big part of the experience.

#208
They knew that you needed that.

#209
Risk E. knew that you needed that.

#210
They knew you were curious. It wasn't a big deal.

#211
-Yeah. -The boys, they need something to as... you know.

#212
Yeah, yeah. It's great for the boys.

#213
And it's also good for the girls because then they know

#214
what they're supposed to look like.

#215
It's aspirational. I mean, this,

#216
I don't think this is the work of Risk E.

#217
You know what I mean? Like...

#218
I feel like Risk E.'s walled off in there,

#219
and-and I think

#220
Risk E. would want us to take a risk right now.

#221
He would want us to do it.

#222
Do it, whatever we want. Watch my back.

#223
-No one looking? -Uh-huh.

#224
-[thuds] -Oh.

#225
-Okay. -All right.

#226
[clattering]

#227
Good, I think you... made some headway, though.

#228
These balls have no weight to 'em.

#229
Back in my day, you could crush a man's skull with one of these.

#230
[machine chimes]

#231
Oh, hey, you're pretty good.

#232
Thanks.

#233
I'm going for 10,000 tickets.

#234
Oh, yeah? Dude, I got like 7,000.

#235
What? How do you have so many?

#236
I was really good back in the day.

#237
Better than you.

#238
Oh, well, I only have 1,500.

#239
Oh, you know what we should do? We should pool our tickets,

#240
and that way we can get, like, the biggest prize they have.

#241
Uh, I don't think you're allowed to do that.

#242
Yeah, you can. This is America.

#243
You can do whatever the fuck you want.

#244
You just cursed.

#245
So what? We're in an arcade.

#246
And there's no adults around.

#247
Hey, do you know how much candy

#248
we can get with this many tickets?

#249
I'm not allowed to eat candy. I have to ask my parents.

#250
You don't have to ask your parents anything.

#251
You can eat as much candy as you want.

#252
You're at Risk E. Rat's. That's the whole point.

#253
You can do whatever you want.

#254
-I want my mom. -You're not getting your mom!

#255
Whoa! Everything okay over here?

#256
Looks like someone might need to take a breather.

#257
We don't need a breather.

#258
All right? I'm just... [groans]

#259
I'm navigating something with the kid.

#260
'Cause you're a jerk.

#261
You're a jerk, and now we're in trouble,

#262
and now we have to go to the Time-Out Room.

#263
♪ ♪

#264
I tell you what, I don't care for these new scanners.

#265
You know, it was just so much cooler when they were like...

#266
-Yeah. -...little plastic pieces of cheese with the joke on 'em.

#267
You'd read the joke and toss it in the trash.

#268
You know what they, they used to do?

#269
They used to put 'em on the waitresses

#270
without them knowing it.

#271
-Really? -Yeah, that was the fun thing,

#272
because then you could cop a feel

#273
and they couldn't say anything

#274
because if they did, they'd lose their jobs.

#275
-[chuckles] Yeah. -That's terrible.

#276
No, it was the '50s. It was fine.

#277
-Right. -Yo, folks. Got your mozzarella sticks.

#278
Oh, yeah. Thank you so much.

#279
Please be careful, they're hot.

#280
-[Frank] Hmm. -Are they hot, dork?

#281
Are you trying to tell me that

#282
these sticks of molten cheese that just came out of

#283
the deep fryer, they're hot?

#284
Well, yeah, I don't want you to get burned.

#285
Thank you so much for helping me out.

#286
What'd I've done if you weren't here?

#287
Bye. Beat it. Bye, Jesse.

#288
Sorry.

#289
-I mean... -[Frank] I'm talking about it.

#290
-Yeah. -There's one.

#291
-Ooh! -I found it. Look, over there.

#292
-Where? -Right over there.

#293
-Oh, my God. Ooh. [laughs] -Un-Un-Under the table.

#294
He wasn't joking.

#295
-[scanner beeps] -[chuckles] Hey, guys.

#296
-You having a good time? -Hey there, Dingbat Duck.

#297
-Yes, we are. -Uh, actually, it's Dapper Duck now.

#298
How do you like the delectable duds?

#299
It's not Dapper Duck. You're-you're Dingbat Duck.

#300
Oh, hey, and where's your stutter? That was your...

#301
-the funny thing you did. -Yeah, yeah, where-where's the...?

#302
Oh, I don't stutter. I have delightful diction.

#303
No, you don't. No, you d...

#304
you d-d-d-d-d-do-do st-st-st-st-stutter.

#305
And that's the only thing that's funny about you.

#306
-[laughing] That was good. -He's laughing.

#307
-[Frank] Yeah. -[Dee] See?

#308
You were, you were the retard.

#309
Whoa, whoa. [chuckles]

#310
-What? -Don't say... come on, don't say that.

#311
Well, he's a duck.

#312
I wouldn't say that about a human.

#313
But you're telling me I can't say a duck is retarded?

#314
-Yes. -No? What do you mean?

#315
Suppose he walked up here, and his feet were on backwards

#316
and his beak was on the inside of his head,

#317
what, then I could call him retarded?

#318
[Dee] Well, no. Then you're dealing with

#319
a mutant duck, and that's not funny.

#320
But his whole shtick was that he would drool and slobber

#321
-and-and, you know, he was like... -Yeah. Yeah.

#322
He could b-b-b-b-b-b-barely get the w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-words out.

#323
-His mouth was retarded. -Stop saying "retarded."

#324
[Charlie] How dare you?

#325
'Cause I didn't see anything backstage and... Oh, shit.

#326
Okay. Look, look, look at, look at this.

#327
Oh, man, this is, this is sad.

#328
And they stuck 'em all in storage, dude.

#329
The whole band is here, dude.

#330
You got Spaz the drummer, Chef Greaseball Linguini.

#331
-Oh. -Dr. Slice

#332
the Funky Funkosapien or whatever he was.

#333
Was he supposed to be Black?

#334
-Yeah. I, yeah, I-I think so. -Yeah.

#335
And you know what? Now that I think of it,

#336
it's good that they're updating that.

#337
I mean, you can't have a purple character

#338
-that does a Black voice. -Why not?

#339
Well, because... [sighs]

#340
If you're gonna put a Black person in the band,

#341
it's got to be representative of...

#342
It was a white guy doing the voice.

#343
-That was the problem. -Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

#344
-Yeah, yeah. -It was a white guy doing a Black voice...

#345
-No, no, no, that's-- -...in a purple costume.

#346
That's not a good look, you know what I mean?

#347
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. For sure, for sure.

#348
Yeah, so...

#349
But they are purple.

#350
Who? What?

#351
Monsters. You know, like...

#352
-Monsters are purple? -Yeah.

#353
Blue, green, purple, orange, and we can't just, like,

#354
not have purple monsters in bands anymore.

#355
-All right, you know what? I... -Oh, but they should have

#356
-white voices. -Well, they should have monster voices.

#357
They should have monster voices

#358
because we need monster representation.

#359
So we can't just put them in boxes.

#360
This is all very complicated stuff, man.

#361
-It is complicated, man. -It's tough to navigate it, man.

#362
I don't know what the answer is, so I'm gonna move past it.

#363
-I tell you what, I... -All right, as long as they can still have

#364
-groovy monsters, you know? -Yeah.

#365
Look at all this stuff. Eh, tell you what,

#366
some of this stuff brings back a lot of memories.

#367
Yeah, yeah.

#368
Oh, no.

#369
-Aw... -Sweet Justine.

#370
What have they done to you?

#371
Oh, man.

#372
Bam! Look at those.

#373
-Hey, you found her torso. -[laughs]

#374
Yeah.

#375
[both whooping]

#376
-[laughs] Hey-hey. -That looks crazy, man.

#377
[Dennis] That is something else, isn't it? Mmm.

#378
[Charlie] Yeah, yeah.

#379
Now, are you telling me that

#380
there is a lifelike set of animatronic breasts under there?

#381
-I am, sir. -Really?

#382
-Yeah. Very accurate design. -Huh.

#383
-Uh, nipples. -Interesting.

#384
-All the curves. -Fascinating.

#385
-Yeah, wow, good. -Yeah.

#386
Yeah, okay. So I will take, uh...

#387
-Yeah. -...the shirt off.

#388
-Let's, uh, let's pop it off. -And, uh, I... hmm...

#389
Hmm, I'm sorry, is it wrong to do this?

#390
If I'm being honest, it feels wrong to me as well.

#391
-[chuckles] Right, but why? Why would--? -I don't know.

#392
-Is it 'cause she's underage? -No.

#393
I mean, she's a robot, man, like...

#394
-Right. Robot. -They're ageless.

#395
Now, wait a second.

#396
We could just be two mature men with an interest in robotics.

#397
This could be science is what you're saying.

#398
I think this is a scientific experiment,

#399
and that's one way to look at it, and--

#400
This is for the good of... future robots, right?

#401
So, for the good of... science...

#402
-Yeah. -...I'm just gonna

#403
-go ahead and... -Yeah.

#404
[Dennis] I'm gonna slide this down here.

#405
[Charlie] Just for scientific purposes we can... aah!

#406
[yells] Oh, God!

#407
-[Charlie screams] -That is...

#408
-What?! -How did they...?

#409
These are not the boobs I saw, dude, these are not them.

#410
This is so disturbing.

#411
They-they took her tits off. They literally sanded 'em off!

#412
-They mutilated this poor woman. -That is disgusting.

#413
Goddamn libs.

#414
-Unbelievable. -Oh, my God.

#415
And this could be the religious conservatives, too.

#416
You know, y-you don't know.

#417
-That's true. -Which kind of--

#418
Lopping tits off feels like a, feels like a religious move.

#419
-Yeah, that's some kind of like-- -I don't know anymore.

#420
-Everybody's crazy these days. -[groans]

#421
This is nuts, man. I'll tell you what, though.

#422
This is a sad day for women's rights.

#423
[sighs deeply]

#424
[Charlie sighs]

#425
[mascot sighs]

#426
Now, Mac, tell us how you're feeling right now.

#427
Well, I... feel angry.

#428
Is there anything else?

#429
Yeah, I feel... misunderstood.

#430
Unheard.

#431
Thank you.

#432
Sam, how are you feeling?

#433
I feel stupid.

#434
You are stupid. It's 'cause you're stupid.

#435
-Shut up. -Now, Mac... -You shut up.

#436
-Mac. -He's getting sassy.

#437
-I was not being sassy. -You were being sassy.

#438
You... Okay, hey, guys.

#439
Honestly, you were both being a little sassy.

#440
But right now I just want to hear about Sam's emotions, okay?

#441
Fine.

#442
Thank you.

#443
There's that sass that I was talking about.

#444
I feel like we're getting stuck on the sass of it.

#445
It's hard not to get stuck in the sass.

#446
-I understand. -I'm mired in the sass

#447
because the kid is so sassy.

#448
Let's just let him talk, and I feel

#449
like it'll all sort itself out.

#450
Fine.

#451
As I was saying, I feel stupid talking about my feelings.

#452
Like, I don't want to be in the Feelings Center.

#453
That's not the point of Risk E. Rat's.

#454
-[dog] Hmm. -We are on the same page there

#455
'cause, like, this isn't the point.

#456
I don't want to be in the Feelings Center either,

#457
and, like, he's dead right about Risk E. Rat's.

#458
That's the whole point of it.

#459
And...

#460
I feel I just want to go out there and have fun.

#461
That's what I want to do, too.

#462
I just want to play and have fun, and--

#463
-See? -Good, good.

#464
Hey, here's the question about that, you guys.

#465
Do we feel like we've earned that?

#466
Yes.

#467
Okay, well, so do I.

#468
-Let's get out there and have some fun, shall we? -Wait, wait, wait, wait.

#469
We've only been here for like five minutes.

#470
That's not a punishment. I-I don't feel punished.

#471
Where-Where's the shame I'm supposed to be feeling?

#472
There's no shame in making a mistake, Mac.

#473
Yes, there is.

#474
How else would I know not to do it anymore?

#475
Hey, listen, man. I'm a licensed psychotherapist.

#476
You're a talking dog. I'm out of here.

#477
-[dog] Great. -I'm scared. -I'm sure you are, Sam.

#478
I'm sure you are.

#479
'Cause you're a pussy.

#480
Now, look, look, man, that's...

#481
-that's not your fault. -Jesus Christ, man.

#482
It's not your fault. This dog, your parents,

#483
the whole, the whole culture is grooming you to be a pussy.

#484
You got no freedom,

#485
which means you got no balls.

#486
And then, even when you actually do get caught

#487
doing something bad, you're not held accountable.

#488
And if you're not held accountable, you feel no guilt.

#489
If you feel no guilt, you feel no shame.

#490
If you got no shame...

#491
you're never gonna hate yourself enough

#492
to stop being bad and grow some balls.

#493
You diddle this kid, you're definitely on camera.

#494
I don't know if you want to be alone with him.

#495
♪ ♪

#496
All right, this is the last piece.

#497
-[scanner beeps] -All right, what's it say?

#498
"What does a nosy pepper do?"

#499
-What? -"It gets jalapeño business."

#500
That's stupid. Let me see it.

#501
Oh, I get it! You know what it is?

#502
You got to do it with an accent.

#503
Uh, it gets "all-up-in-yo" business.

#504
-Get it? -[laughs] Yeah, well, that's funny.

#505
-Yeah. -'Cause that's Black.

#506
-That's Black. -Well, n-not necessarily,

#507
but it is sassy.

#508
You just got to put some sass on there.

#509
It also could be Mexican, I guess,

#510
'cause of the jalapeño, that's a Mexican pepper.

#511
-Um, gets "hall-up-in-your" business, see? -Oh, yeah, that...

#512
I get it, but I got to know who it's about.

#513
I-I don't think it's about anybody.

#514
I think it's just a-a play on words.

#515
But I got to know who the victim is

#516
in order for me to laugh at them.

#517
Yeah, I'll tell you what, in this scenario it's whites

#518
because white people are the only people

#519
who don't have the accent to pull off the joke.

#520
-Well, that's racist. -That is racist,

#521
-and I don't appreciate it. -That's very racist.

#522
I'll tell you that much right now.

#523
Is this the satire you're talking about?

#524
I don't know. If I'm being honest,

#525
I don't 100% understand what satire means.

#526
-Let's go through the jokes again. -[mutters]

#527
-Yeah, it's not good now, man, you know? -Yeah, it's the pits.

#528
Really creepy, too.

#529
Like, who are the weirdos with the kids?

#530
I think it's their parents.

#531
-The parents should be in the bar. -Charlie, there is no bar.

#532
-What? Are you serious? They got rid of the bar? -There's no bar?

#533
Oh, that's crazy.

#534
This was, like, one of the best bars in town, man.

#535
All right, all right, you know what? Every...

#536
Let's just, everybody calm down.

#537
Okay? We're here, you know? Let's give it another shot.

#538
Right? The show's about to begin.

#539
That was always one of the best parts

#540
of this place anyway, right? The show.

#541
-Okay. Okay. -Let's see if the show's good.

#542
-One, one last shot. -Hard to screw the show up.

#543
They could redeem themselves here.

#544
[announcer] Everybody clap your hands

#545
'cause it's time to party.

#546
-[lively music playing] -Here it comes.

#547
-Okay. Okay. -Party time, baby.

#548
It's party time.

#549
What are these?

#550
-What's this? -Earplugs? -Earphones?

#551
-Are you serious? -No, no, no, no, no.

#552
-No, no, no, no. No. -Get out of here.

#553
I want to be able to hear the show.

#554
-Risk E., Risk E.... -This is a jam, right?

#555
Has a good beat going.

#556
Yeah, I like that beat. That's it.

#557
♪ It's time for magic and fun ♪

#558
♪ Rocking out at Robbie-pizza.com ♪

#559
What the...?

#560
Did he just say Robbie-pizza.com?

#561
-Did they change the name? -They can't...

#562
You cannot call a place a website.

#563
That's crazy.

#564
He's not Risk E. anymore?

#565
-He's Robbie now? -[groans]

#566
This is so depressing, but, g-guys, we c...

#567
we can't wallow.

#568
We got to do something about this.

#569
For the sake of the kids!

#570
Okay. So here's what we do.

#571
We recreate the old Risk E.'s so that these kids can have

#572
the same experience that we had when we were younger

#573
and they can perhaps tell the tale.

#574
That's exactly what I was thinking.

#575
Guys, let's get risky.

#576
[mischievous laughter]

#577
♪ Oh, yeah ♪

#578
♪ It's time for action, it's time for fun ♪

#579
♪ You better move, get off your butt and run ♪

#580
-♪ You're a kid, you make the rules ♪ -♪ Make the rules ♪

#581
♪ Be rude, freak out, and do something cool ♪

#582
♪ Yeah ♪

#583
♪ Do it, do it, do it, do whatever you want ♪

#584
♪ At Risk E. Rat's Pizza, do whatever you want ♪

#585
♪ Entertain, go crazy, have fun, go nuts ♪

#586
♪ At Risk E. Rat's Pizza, do whatever you want ♪

#587
♪ Do whatever you want ♪

#588
♪ Do whatever you want. ♪

#589
Wow. Those kids are jazzed.

#590
-Wow! -Yeah, man, we're all set here.

#591
[Frank laughs]

#592
Guys, I got to say, I think we've...

#593
I think we've done something pretty magical here today.

#594
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Yeah!

#595
Okay. On the count of three,

#596
you open the doors and let 'em in...

#597
-[Dennis] Yeah. -...and I will throw this switch

#598
and let the real fun begin.

#599
-[Dennis] Yeah, baby. -Ready?

#600
-[cheering, whooping] -That's the attitude, Frank.

#601
-[Charlie] Let's do it, let's do it. -[Dennis] Yeah, all right.

#602
[all] Three, two, one...

#603
Fun!

#604
-[crowd clamoring] -[horn honks]

#605
Where's my son?! Where's my son?!

#606
[clamoring]

#607
[woman] They're standing right over there. Go get them.

#608
[helicopter blades whirring]

#609
[screaming]

#610
-Well, that got out of hand. -Yeah.

#611
Yeah, these kids, they just,

#612
th-they weren't prepared for that amount of fun.

#613
You know what it is?

#614
That's because they were sheltered too much.

#615
-Right. -I'm glad that they signed the waiver, though.

#616
Oh, right. No lawsuits for them.

#617
-[laughter] -They can't do shit.

#618
-Nobody can sue. -Although you didn't, you didn't sign anything.

#619
Ah, they won't find me.

#620
-Hey, should we get out of here? -Yes. -Probably, yes.

#621
-Let's go, let's go. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's slip out.

#622
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

#623
[trio chanting backwards]

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