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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
» S15E04 — The Gang Replaces Dee With A Monkey
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Season 15, Episode 4 — The Gang Replaces Dee With A Monkey
#1001
did say something like this could happen.
#1002
- He did? - Yeah.
#1003
Apparently, the monkey's grandfather was Fatty Arbuckle's monkey,
#1004
and you know how these things go. These monkeys are passed down
#1005
from one Hollywood creep to the next,
#1006
until, eventually,
#1007
they wind up under a bridge in Philly
#1008
getting drunk and pulling scams.
#1009
- Oh! Goddamn. All right. - What?
#1010
All right, all right, we got to think about this. All right,
#1011
so let's not take the monkey on our vacation.
#1012
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
#1013
The vacation. I think we landed on a vacation destination last night.
#1014
- Yeah, we did, we did. Look, look, look. - Oh, look at the board.
#1015
- We did? - Yeah. We got something on here.
#1016
Let's, um...
#1017
Okay, should we see where we're going?
#1018
- Yeah, where are we going? - Where we going? Where we going?
#1019
All right, here we go...
#1020
"Monkey Beer Island of green and fight."
#1021
- Goddamn it. - That's not a place.
#1022
- That's not a place? - No, it's not!
#1023
No, it's not a goddamn place. You know what this is?
#1024
This is the ramblings of four men who got very, very drunk last night
#1025
on a mystery concoction invented by a wild animal.
#1026
- Why can't we just be normal? - That is what it is.
#1027
That's so weird.
#1028
- Why would we do that? - Because the monkey beers
#1029
were so delicious.
#1030
All right? That-that monkey may have been a pervert,
#1031
but he was also a genius, which is often the case in Hollywood.
#1032
You know what I'm thinking? 'Cause I'm seeing a lot
#1033
of empty whiskey bottles around,
#1034
I'm thinking maybe that monkey was just pouring, like,
#1035
half a bottle of whiskey in each beer.
#1036
- You know? - That could be.
#1037
Based on my hangover, I think that's what I'm feeling.
#1038
- Goddamn it. - That tracks, that tracks.
#1039
So, monkey beer is just whiskey...
#1040
Whiskey-beer, yeah. ...beer?
#1041
So...
#1042
"Whiskey beer island of green and fight."
#1043
- We're nowhere. We're nowhere. - Hey-o!
#1044
Whoa, what the hell happened...
#1045
You know what? Don't care.
#1046
Do not even care 'cause guess what, dick nips.
#1047
This big, dumb, flightless bird just booked a huge acting gig.
#1048
Why don't you feast your eyes on "Obnoxious American MILF #1"?
#1049
In your faces. That's right.
#1050
And guess what. I leave tomorrow morning
#1051
at 6:30 a.m. on a first-class flight
#1052
'cause it shoots in Ireland, baby.
#1053
Yeah!
#1054
Body slam!
#1055
- I mean, she... She comes in screaming. - That was the worst.
#1056
- Screaming. - Cackling like a witch.
#1057
Just screaming and screeching, like...
#1058
Oh, my God.
#1059
Oh, my God.
#1060
- What? What is it? - I don't know.
#1061
- I don't know. - You don't know?
#1062
- Right? It wasn't clear. - Frank looked at me...
#1063
Why did you guys act like you knew what it was, then?
#1064
I don't know. We were all getting excited together.
#1065
- I was excited... - And, yeah...
#1066
Goddamn it. Frank, you tell them what it is.
#1067
Yeah, what is it?
#1068
I don't know what it is.
#1069
- You don't... - Okay, yeah, we don't know...
#1070
- We don't know what it is. - Guys, guys.
#1071
"Whiskey beer island of green and fight."
#1072
That's Ireland.
#1073
Goddamn, you guys.
#1074
What is this delicious drink? This is good.
#1075
I was gonna go home and get some sleep,
#1076
but I might have to get a couple soda pops in first,
#1077
you know what I mean? Nice job.
#1078
Mmm. Mmm!
#1079
Ooh. Wow.
#1080
Is that poop?
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