Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S14E01 — The Gang Gets Romantic

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 14, Episode 1 — The Gang Gets Romantic

#1
Hey, look what I just found, at the bus stop.

#2
"Gruesome twosome seek exotic Europeans for week long rental

#3
"in luxurious one-bedroom apartment.

#4
"Bed to be shared with owners. Shitter down hall.

#5
Email F. Reynolds at Warthog-OrgyFart.edu."

#6
- Nice. - Wha... what? - Yeah. It's a good ad.

#7
You know, we got the Airbnb idea from Dennis and Mac,

#8
- 'cause they're doing it. - Yes, but we're not posting

#9
creepy flyers at bus stations. I mean, w-what kind of people do you think

#10
- you're gonna attract with that? - What?

#11
Young Bohemians with no sexual boundaries,

#12
w-who don't mind a shitter down the hall.

#13
Yeah, like, European backpacking chicks

#14
- who stay in hostels and stuff. - Yeah. Free.

#15
- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. Don't be jealous

#16
when Charlie and I are up to our eyebrows in Viennese gash.

#17
- Ugh. - Ugh, gross.

#18
Come on, man.

#19
Guys, don't try to lump yourselves in

#20
with what we're doing, okay? What we're doing

#21
is very charming and romantic.

#22
- We're setting up a meet-cute. - Ah, a-a w-what?

#23
Are you trying to say, uh, "meat cube"?

#24
- Like, a little cube of meat? - Meat?

#25
- Because that's a good idea, actually. - No.

#26
We're doing a meet-cute.

#27
It's-it's where two soul mates meet

#28
under charming and/or cute circumstances.

#29
- Like, from a rom-com. - No.

#30
- Let-let's keep the trap simple. - Yeah.

#31
Well, don't call it a trap, because that's not romantic.

#32
Yeah, I'm sure for Dennis, it's a trap.

#33
_

#34
Coming.

#35
You must be Lisa.

#36
- And you must be Mac. - That's right.

#37
Come on in to my very spacious apartment.

#38
This is gonna be your room here,

#39
- and I think that... - Hello. Oh...

#40
Hello, I'm Dennis. I'm here for the room.

#41
Oh, my God. Dennis, no.

#42
Y-You're supposed to be here next week.

#43
No, it was this week.

#44
Uh, for sure it was this week.

#45
Oh, my God, it was this week.

#46
- You know, this is, this is humiliating. - Did something happen?

#47
- I must have overbooked... - Oh.

#48
- ...this Airbnb, and that's a problem... - Oh, my gosh.

#49
- ...because we only have the one room, so... - We can work this out,

#50
because I think we can probably stay

#51
in the same room to-together.

#52
It wouldn't bother me if it wouldn't bother you.

#53
I mean, I-I don't like to come off as a difficult person.

#54
- Um... - Oh. Now, d-do you like to come off

#55
- as a difficult person? - No.

#56
- No. Of course not. - Oh, no.

#57
- Who-who would? Who would? - Yeah. No, no one likes

#58
to be a difficult person, so we can make it work.

#59
- I'm Dennis. - Uh...

#60
I don't think my husband and I would be comfortable

#61
sharing a room.

#62
Husband?

#63
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you were married.

#64
- I didn't realize I had to tell you that. - Yeah.

#65
- Oh... - Uh, hi.

#66
- Uh, one of you guys must be Mac. - Yeah, that's me.

#67
- You, you're the husband. - Mm-hmm.

#68
I see. Uh, this is Dennis.

#69
- What's up? - He's also gonna be staying here.

#70
- Well... - Yeah, you know what?

#71
Maybe we should just get another room.

#72
- Oh, no, no. I mean, maybe. - We're gonna make it work.

#73
Well, you guys crash in there,

#74
- and Dennis will stay in my room. - Uh, I don't know.

#75
I don't know. I don't think so. Uh, I'm good.

#76
- I-I'm not gonna. - Oh, well, it's just that you,

#77
you just said that you were cool sharing a room, so...

#78
Right. Yeah, but I was, uh, you know,

#79
I'm-I'm, but, you know, ch...

#80
Things change.

#81
Yeah. It's just that you don't have anywhere to go.

#82
Well, you wouldn't know that.

#83
- Yeah, somehow I do. - Yeah...

#84
Hey, we're just really tired

#85
and would love to crash, if that's okay.

#86
Absolutely. Yeah, you guys, you guys hit the hay.

#87
We're probably gonna hit the hay, too.

#88
- Thank you. - All right, yeah. Best of luck. - Absolutely.

#89
- Thank you. - Yeah, we're gonna work it out.

#90
- It's not gonna be an issue. - All right. Thanks.

#91
Have a great night, guys.

#92
This is so exciting.

#93
- Yeah. - Now, you said they're,

#94
uh, where are these girls from?

#95
- Australia? Or what is that...? - No, no.

#96
They're two Austrian broads.

#97
- Aww... - Alexi and Nikki.

#98
Oh, wowee, Frank.

#99
Those names are, those names are like...

#100
Before they get here, we got to lay down some ground rules.

#101
When we wind up working the same broad,

#102
no eye contact between the two of us.

#103
- Wait, what? - And they're gonna encourage us

#104
- to explore each other's bodies. - What?

#105
- A-And that's a hard no for me. - No, for me, too.

#106
- Let's lead with that. - Wait, what's about to happen?

#107
I'm not sure I want...

#108
Keep your fingers to yourself.

#109
- But have a good time. - Uh... Hey, can...

#110
I just kind of want you to explain what you...

#111
- Yeah. - ...what you got on your mind here, but...

#112
Who the hell are you?

#113
Hi. We're here for the room.

#114
Nah, no, no, no, no, no.

#115
We're waiting for Nikki and Alexi.

#116
Yeah. I am Nikki, and this is my father Alexi.

#117
Oh, shit.

#118
What is this, man? W-What, what are we doing?

#119
I-I don't want to do this anymore. Can we stop?

#120
Huh? No, we can't stop now.

#121
We're-we're right on track.

#122
I don't know, man. It just...

#123
It just feels like a-a lot of effort,

#124
and it feels desperate, you know what I mean?

#125
Like, I-I never put this much work

#126
into banging some cute meat.

#127
Cute meat?

#128
Cute meat. That-that was your phrase.

#129
No, Dennis, "meet-cute."

#130
It has a name, Mac. Its name is Lisa.

#131
This is fun, right? This is the banter. This is the,

#132
this is... this is all a part of act one banter.

#133
And we are right on schedule.

#134
Shh. Listen.

#135
They're fighting.

#136
I'm telling you, their marriage is on the rocks.

#137
What-what, wait-wait-wait.

#138
What's that third noise?

#139
Dude, i-is that, like, a chicken or a parrot

#140
or some shit? Dude, uh, I thought we said no animals.

#141
Mac, tell them no animals in my room.

#142
That's no animal.

#143
- Oh... - We needed reinforcements.

#144
- Okay, catch me up to speed. - Shh, shh.

#145
- Listen, listen. - You can't keep blaming me

#146
- for what happened with Teddy. - Teddy, Teddy, Teddy.

#147
- Who is Teddy? - Mm...

#148
The wife must have cheated on the husband

#149
with some guy named Teddy.

#150
No, no, no, that's all wrong.

#151
The female love interest can't be a cheater,

#152
because that makes her unlikable.

#153
Maybe this isn't a romantic comedy about the wife at all.

#154
Maybe it's about the husband.

#155
Yes. The husband is the lonely heart

#156
who needs to find love in the big city.

#157
Dee, you're my new romantic lead,

#158
proving that romantic leads don't have to be likable at all.

#159
I'm sorry, I can't follow any of this.

#160
- Am I in or out? - You're out.

#161
- Great. I'm gonna go sleep in the living room. - Okay.

#162
- Uh... - Awesome.

#163
Charlie, this is weird as shit.

#164
Yeah. Hey... hey, uh, Nikki, what's this

#165
- that we're listening to here, pal? - Oh.

#166
It's just a little bit of music that I wrote.

#167
Ah, you're a, you're a yodeler, huh?

#168
Uh, y-yeah. Uh, may I ask if you have a small pot

#169
- that I can boil these lederhosen in? - Uh, yeah.

#170
I got something. Uh, let me just look around here.

#171
What do you got going there with the toe?

#172
- Does he speak English? - No, and sadly,

#173
- he refuses to learn. - Oh, yeah.

#174
Oh, yeah, Frank doesn't like to learn new things either.

#175
Here you go. Tha-That should work.

#176
Ask him what he's working that toe with.

#177
Um, how do you say... There is no word.

#178
Uh, "toe spoon," for the digging out of the toe.

#179
- Mmm. - Don't flick it.

#180
Hey, Frank, can I talk to you for a second over here, man?

#181
- Mind if we just... - Yeah.

#182
Dude, this is weird as hell man.

#183
We gotta... We're just gonna have to, like,

#184
power through this night,

#185
and then we'll figure something out tomorrow, man.

#186
All right? We'll just... Let's just get into bed,

#187
and get out of here. Hey, hey, guys, you know,

#188
- we figure we should just turn in early. - We're gonna go to sleep

#189
- right now. - 'Cause the night goes quicker, you know?

#190
- We usually sleep ass to ass. - That's true.

#191
But let's see if we can...

#192
- I call the side. - I'll get...

#193
- You got the end, huh? - Yeah. Picked the side here.

#194
- Why don't you hop in. - All right, I'll hop in.

#195
- Yeah. - All right.

#196
Well, ass to ass.

#197
- We're ass to ass. - Here we go.

#198
All right.

#199
Fuck this.

#200
Dennis. Come here.

#201
- What... What are you doing, man? - Shh! Shh.

#202
Wh-Why are you in their room?

#203
- Shh, shh, shh. - What?

#204
I just set up the perfect meet-cute for Dee.

#205
- Okay. - See, Greg's in the shower,

#206
so I snuck in there, I picked the lock,

#207
and I just made my way in.

#208
I checked him out for a quick second.

#209
He has a tiny penis, just for the record.

#210
- Ah. - Then, I open up the toilet.

#211
I shit, like, my brains out into it, right?

#212
I came at this thing like an animal, man.

#213
And then I took a bunch of toilet paper.

#214
I-I jammed it in there

#215
so it won't flush; it won't flush.

#216
Why?

#217
Because when Greg gets out of the shower,

#218
he's gonna realize that this toilet is a mess.

#219
I mean, it is a splatter-fest.

#220
He's gonna look for a plunger. There is no plunger.

#221
I'm gonna send him down to the hardware store,

#222
where he's gonna run into Dee.

#223
Oh, my God!

#224
Greg, y... Are you okay in there?

#225
Um, no. I-I think there's a problem with the toilet.

#226
You may need to get a plunger.

#227
A plunger? Oh, man, we don't really even have a plunger

#228
here in the apartment,

#229
but we have a hardware store down the street.

#230
If you go down there and get it, I can get you back.

#231
Okay. Hey, when did this happen?

#232
Wh-What?

#233
The shit in the toilet. It's not mine.

#234
Oh, my God, when did that happen?

#235
- Just close the door. - That's what I'm asking you.

#236
- Okay, now the plan is in motion for you. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

#237
What do you mean the plan's in motion for me?

#238
I thought I was out.

#239
Remember when we were saying that

#240
the female romantic lead would never cheat?

#241
- Uh-huh. - Okay, well, I overheard Lisa

#242
saying to Greg that she misses Teddy.

#243
Huh? Why would she tell Greg

#244
that she misses the guy that she cheated with?

#245
Unless she didn't cheat on him with Teddy.

#246
Maybe Teddy was a platonic friend

#247
from high school that makes Greg jealous.

#248
Don't you know what this means?

#249
Lisa is still our romantic lead, which means...

#250
- So I'm still your leading man. - Yeah.

#251
- This is crazy, Charlie. - Yeah, I know.

#252
I mean, Dennis is having meet cubes with hot chicks,

#253
- and we're stuck with these guys. - I know.

#254
I want to be having meet cubes, right?

#255
Me, too. Me, too.

#256
What the hell? What the hell is he doing?

#257
I don't know what he's doing.

#258
What are you... What are you doing there?

#259
What... What are you doing with the spoon?

#260
You can't get to the hard-to-reach places with that.

#261
You need a knife. You need an edge.

#262
- Here, take this. - What, uh...

#263
What are you working on over here, pal?

#264
Because, you know, Frank and I have

#265
a very specific diet; we like to eat pretty clean.

#266
And I don't want to...

#267
- That is, uh, sausage... - Yeah.

#268
- ...mit peanut butter und apricot jam sandwich. - Hmm.

#269
But the trick is to melt the cheese on the outside.

#270
Well, that's right, you put peanut butter on the inside,

#271
you put the cheese on the outside.

#272
But you don't want to burn that cheese, right, so you...

#273
...so you finish it on the radiator.

#274
I do that, too. I didn't think anyone did that, man!

#275
And that is the trick. That's how you do it.

#276
- That's exactly... Exactly. - Exactly.

#277
Hey, Charlie, this is pretty good.

#278
You can get in there behind the toe,

#279
and it's rounded, so you don't have a chance

#280
of filletin' yourself.

#281
Probably shouldn't share it, though, guys.

#282
It's not... That's not sanitary.

#283
I got a question. Tell me if it's asking too much,

#284
but I've always kind of seen myself as a yodeler.

#285
Would you be willing to show me how you do that?

#286
I would like that very much.

#287
For real? Okay, 'cause I feel like

#288
if I... if I learn how to yodel, I'm going places.

#289
You know what I mean? Because, like, no one...

#290
- no one's doing that these days. - Charlie.

#291
- Charlie, come here. - Uh, give me one second.

#292
Yo, what's up?

#293
We just got a hit on the apartment.

#294
Two European broads.

#295
Oh, I don't know, man, things are starting to really

#296
- turn a corner with these guys. - Yeah, I know.

#297
I mean, you know, I'm having fun.

#298
- I like the spoon. - And you got that.

#299
- I guess... Okay, but you know. - Yeah. Yeah, ooh...

#300
And...

#301
- Sorry, no. We double-booked. - Sorry, guys. Yeah, I'm so sorry.

#302
- We're gonna miss you. - You know, these things happen.

#303
- We-we just double-booked. - Thanks for the toe spoon.

#304
Yeah, thanks so much, guys. Good-bye.

#305
Oops.

#306
Sorry.

#307
That was pretty cute, wasn't it, how we...

#308
both reached for the plunger at the same time?

#309
Yeah, I guess.

#310
Also, looks like it's the only one.

#311
It's the last one, so, um... maybe we could share it.

#312
How would that work?

#313
Well, I guess, first you'd have to come back to my place.

#314
You know, I can always use a man

#315
to help me clean my pipes.

#316
Help flushing the shit you took that backed up your toilet?

#317
No. No, that's... No, that's... it wasn't shit.

#318
- That's not what I'm talking about. It wasn't shit. - What was it?

#319
- I don't care. - Okay, it doesn't matter.

#320
The point is that it's-it's charming and cute and fun

#321
how we, how we just sort of met like this over a plunger.

#322
Don't you think so?

#323
I'm just gonna go to another hardware store.

#324
Well, okay. Well, hold on a second. Wait, wait.

#325
Don't go.

#326
There we go.

#327
Pushing away his soul mate, right on structure.

#328
End act two.

#329
Hey! It's my roomie. What's going on?

#330
Hi.

#331
- I got you some wine. - Oh, no, thank you.

#332
Well, it helps when you're sad. You seem sad.

#333
But I-I get it. I-I understand.

#334
- You do? - Oh, yeah.

#335
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

#336
Yeah, you miss Teddy, and no one can replace him.

#337
I assume you overheard my husband and I.

#338
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

#339
But, look, maybe I can fill that void, you know,

#340
if only for a few hours of, uh, sexual bliss.

#341
Oh, no. What?

#342
Sex.

#343
Bangin'.

#344
It's good to take the mind off things. You know?

#345
But wait, l-let me, let me ease your mind about something.

#346
I'm not the jealous type, like your husband.

#347
You know, you want to spend time with Teddy also, uh,

#348
that's fine, you know.

#349
Dig that guy up, you know, see what he's been up to these days.

#350
I honestly don't give a shit.

#351
Yeah.

#352
You all right?

#353
- What? - Oh.

#354
What happened?

#355
This is so bad.

#356
Don't talk about him.

#357
- Okay, that went great. - Huh?

#358
- Now, next steps... - Whoa.

#359
How, in your mind, did that go great?

#360
- I thought the crying was hot. - I did, too.

#361
But it just, it seems like it's gonna be annoying.

#362
I find you annoying. This whole thing's annoying.

#363
- I'm gonna go back to my thing. - No, Dennis, this is working.

#364
You just have to trust the structure.

#365
- Uh, nah. - Just trust the structure.

#366
- Yeah... Come on in, come on in. - Well, yeah, come on in.

#367
Oh, this... this is the spot.

#368
- Sorry it's messy. - It's a little messy.

#369
We had a guest, and he trashed the joint.

#370
That's right, the-the guest trashed the place.

#371
No, it is perfect.

#372
- Uh, so much space. - Mm-hmm.

#373
- Yeah. - Looks very bohemian.

#374
And I like that the bathroom down the hall is so close.

#375
- Yeah, it's right, it's right there. - It's not far, right?

#376
- I mean, there's no door on it. - Yeah.

#377
But that's because the guy in 4B went berserk and ripped it off.

#378
- Oh. - Uh, yeah.

#379
And if you do have to use the bathroom,

#380
- what I can do is I can become the door for you. - Yeah.

#381
- I do that for Frank when he's taking a dump in there. - You stand in front of it.

#382
No, no, no, it is okay.

#383
We're very free with our bodies.

#384
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - Oh, yeah?

#385
- Mm-hmm. - Cool. Yeah, us, too. I mean...

#386
- I only see one bed. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's a one-bedder.

#387
- Uh... - Oh.

#388
- We can sleep on the floor... - No, no, no, no, no. - No.

#389
That's no fun.

#390
- We should all share. Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

#391
- Yeah, that's okay with me. Is that okay with you? - No fun to sleep...

#392
- Yeah, here on the bed. - Ah-ah-ah.

#393
That is not very free with your body.

#394
- Uh... what do you mean? - Wh-Wh-What?

#395
- We all sleep naked. It's more fun. - Mm-hmm.

#396
Come, we don't bite.

#397
Yeah, just take it off. Come.

#398
So you're telling me

#399
that you got nowhere with Greg?

#400
That's not true. That's not true at all.

#401
Got him right where I want him. This is the part

#402
where I sit back and wait for him to come to his senses.

#403
Th-That-That's not how it works. Goddamn it.

#404
This is the part where the trashy skank

#405
is-is supposed to lure the husband away.

#406
He bangs that nasty snatch, and then Lisa recognizes

#407
that he is a dullard and needs to drop him,

#408
so that Lisa, the true hero of the story,

#409
can figure out that she needs to be free and find love.

#410
I'm the true hero of the story.

#411
You are a diversionary plot twist at best.

#412
And you couldn't even do that right.

#413
Ooh, what a night! Wha...!

#414
- You can't believe what happened. - Whew!

#415
We got the backpackers we wanted,

#416
and they're as sexually free as we hoped.

#417
- Those girls are wild, man. - It was amazing.

#418
They wanted us to, like-like, touch each other and stuff.

#419
I'm like, "Dude, that's a hard no for me."

#420
No, it was a hard no for me, too.

#421
- Well, but... - I said no.

#422
- I said no. - You were thinking about it, though.

#423
- All of a sudden, like, Frank gives me one of those... - No, I wasn't thinking about it.

#424
- I'm like, "Are you kidding me?" I'm not gonna do that. - No, no, no, I wasn't...

#425
I can't even understand them half the time.

#426
- It's like the accents... - I don't know. They were crazy chicks.

#427
Hey, hoping you're having fun with your

#428
"meat cube" romance party. That does sound fun.

#429
I do want some of those meat cubes later.

#430
Dude, that girl with the, with the long fingernails...

#431
Jesus Christ.

#432
Frank and Charlie are off having orgies,

#433
and I'm sitting here all alone.

#434
I mean, this is crazy. The whole world's upside down.

#435
- Up is down, black is white. - Straight is gay.

#436
That's it!

#437
- What? - Maybe Teddy cheated with Greg.

#438
Maybe this whole thing has just been one giant meet-cute

#439
for me and Greg.

#440
Hmm.

#441
You know, it won't play in Middle America, but screw it.

#442
We'll jam it down their throats till they enjoy it.

#443
W-We'll force them to like it.

#444
- So you'll help me? - I will.

#445
- And I'll help you, too. - Get your hand off me.

#446
Yeah, get your hands off him. We don't need your help.

#447
I think we're probably gonna end up cutting you

#448
out of this almost entirely.

#449
- Uh, Mac, let's go find you some romance. - Yeah!

#450
Shall we?

#451
You know... Okay, but just a heads-up:

#452
It's not gonna work, all right? Men are not in charge anymore.

#453
You know? Men-men don't get to just decide

#454
what women get to do...

#455
Hey, Frank.

#456
- Yeah? - Hey.

#457
Can I admit something to you?

#458
If you're gonna tell me that was your finger, Charlie,

#459
I'm gonna be pissed.

#460
No, that was, that was definitely Minka.

#461
- She's real aggressive with the fingers. - Oh, my...

#462
I don't get that move at all.

#463
But, dude, something, besides this violent Euro ass play,

#464
it just doesn't feel right, man.

#465
Plus, dude, these girls are drug addicts.

#466
I saw them using Alexi's toe spoon to cook heroin.

#467
- What?! - I don't even think we need to whisper. Like...

#468
- Oh. - Yeah, they're passed out, man.

#469
Oh, dude.

#470
This isn't good. This isn't good.

#471
- Yeah. - Charlie.

#472
- Look, it's done for. - It's ruined. I know, yeah.

#473
- No, it's-it's ruined. - Oh.

#474
Hey, Frank, can I admit something else to you, man?

#475
I-I can't stop thinking about Alexi and Nikki.

#476
Me, too.

#477
Like, maybe we made a huge mistake, man.

#478
- We might've. - And I know it's...

#479
- that it's two hot girls. - Hot chicks.

#480
A-And you should make the most of that, right? But...

#481
Because it's good, you know?

#482
- But some-something just doesn't feel right, man. - Yeah.

#483
Something doesn't feel right.

#484
- No, it doesn't feel right. - Something's off.

#485
I miss those guys. I miss them. I...

#486
- What's that? What's that? - Oh, that thing?

#487
Oh, yeah. Uh...

#488
Uh, there was a package outside the door

#489
when we came back the-the other night, and...

#490
- What's it, a gift? - Yeah, I don't know.

#491
It... I can't read it

#492
'cause it's, like, in Austrian or something. Uh...

#493
- No, it's in English. - Yeah. I-Is it English?

#494
"Thanks for everything.

#495
Love, Alexi and Nikki."

#496
- Oh, no shit? - They gave us a present.

#497
They left a gift for us?

#498
Meat cube.

#499
Bus station.

#500
Pretty Woman.

#501
Yeah!

#502
I'm just gonna go out to the car.

#503
Yeah, okay.

#504
Nice to meet you. Bye.

#505
Okay, great. Okay, all right.

#506
This is your moment, Mac. Now remember,

#507
just speak from the heart, all right?

#508
Sweep him off his feet. Go to him.

#509
- Go to him. Yes. - No, no.

#510
Hey, uh, uh, Greg?

#511
- Yes. - Uh, was wondering if we could have a quick chat.

#512
Oh. Sorry about that, guys. Wrong-wrong track.

#513
- Yeah. That was the wrong song. - Here we go.

#514
Oh, here we go.

#515
That's the one.

#516
Um...

#517
I know that what you had with Teddy was special,

#518
and I know that I could never replace him.

#519
But that's dead and buried now, man, and you got to move on.

#520
I-I... And I know that it's crazy.

#521
I know that it's crazy 'cause we just met, but I feel like

#522
if-if you just give us a chance,

#523
we could tell a love story for the ages.

#524
A gay... gay-ass love story.

#525
A-And, yeah, maybe it won't play in Middle America,

#526
and-and maybe it's not even ready for the mainstream,

#527
but it'll win a ton of awards, and it'll get

#528
a shit ton of attention for the liberal press.

#529
I don't, I don't know what you're talking about.

#530
I... dumped up your toilet, Greg.

#531
It was me. It was always me.

#532
But I did it for us, to draw us closer together.

#533
- Now, I just think if we can... - What?

#534
Lisa's here.

#535
- What's going on? - Lisa,

#536
I'm glad you're here. Thank you. Please come in.

#537
We have something to tell you.

#538
- No. - It's time you heard the truth.

#539
Greg and I are going to be together.

#540
But know this.

#541
There was nothing that-that you could've ever done,

#542
because what Greg needed was Teddy.

#543
And what he needs now is me.

#544
So, Greg, let me be your everything,

#545
just like your old lover Teddy.

#546
Teddy was our son.

#547
He died of leukemia.

#548
- What? - Oh, you know what? I think... Let me, uh...

#549
No, you got to, you got to...

#550
Just turn it off. Just off.

#551
Just-just turn it off.

#552
Sorry.

#553
Yeah. I don't have a dead kid's...

#554
uh, approp-appropriate...

#555
Um... I guess

#556
we'll let you get back to the healing.

#557
Yeah, you guys do your thing.

#558
Yeah.

#559
That's not romantic. Or comedic.

#560
- You think they're gonna give us a bad review? - Yeah.

#561
I guess we're not gonna get that...

#562
romantic comedy ending after all.

#563
- This way, Frank. - Wait. Oh, yeah.

#564
- Nikki?! - Alexi?!

#565
- Alexi?! - Where are they?

#566
- Nikki?! - Yeah. Nikki?! Alexi?!

#567
No, Nikki, Alexi!

#568
- Nikki, wait, wait, wait! Wait! - Alexi!

#569
- Wait, wait, wait. Listen. - Hey!

#570
- Listen, please-please, please don't go. - Hey.

#571
We're the perfect match.

#572
We-we didn't say it before,

#573
- but w-we understand now. - Yeah.

#574
We feel the same way,

#575
but we must return to our country.

#576
But we will return here exactly one year from today.

#577
If you feel the same, be here at sunset,

#578
and we will spend our days together,

#579
knee-deep in American gash.

#580
- Wait one year? One year. - Okay. We'll be here.

#581
- We'll be right here. - We'll be here. We'll be here.

#582
- Alexi. - Have a good trip.

#583
- Thank you for everything. - Thank you.

#584
- Bye-bye. Bye. - Thank you. I...

#585
I love you!

#586
Oh, man.

#587
What do you think, buddy?

#588
He had me at "gash," Charlie.

#589
He had me at "gash."

#590
- Bye! Bye! Bye! - Bye.

#591
- Bye. - Bye!

#592
Oh, man.

#593
I'm gonna miss 'em.

#594
- Go home? - Yeah.

#595
Hell of a guys, you know what I'm saying?

#596
They were, they were great. They were great guys.

#597
Yeah. I mean, a little weird, you know?

#598
- synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com

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