Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S13E08 — Charlie's Home Alone

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 13, Episode 8 — Charlie's Home Alone

#1
Where is it? It was right here.

#2
I cannot find it. And by the way, Mac,

#3
what're you even talking about?

#4
The word is superstition, not "stupid-stition."

#5
I know what the word is, Charlie.

#6
I'm saying your green man suit is a stupid superstition.

#7
Oh, really? Then why do the Eagles keep winning?

#8
Also, by the way, dude,

#9
uh, you're a Cowboys fan, so shut the hell up.

#11
And he retired, so now I bleed green.

#12
- Go, Birds! Go, Birds! - All right, well, I'm not

#13
going to the Super Bowl without it. I got to find it.

#14
Yeah, don't make us late, Charlie, all right?

#15
I-If you can't find it, you can't find it, you know?

#16
The-the fans have no effect on the outcome of the game, anyway.

#17
- Do you know how football works? - Yes.

#18
That's right, your voodoo bullshit

#19
is not gonna mean anything if...

#20
Wh-What's going on with your eye?

#21
Uh, nothing, I got a, I think I got an eyelash in it.

#22
Well, you're, like, scratching it, and it's blinking.

#23
I just, I slept on it funny.

#24
What the hell is the holdup here?

#25
Frank, this is why

#26
I wanted total control over the guest list, all right?

#28
and I want to show them that we are not just degenerates, okay?

#29
And that is why I'm very nervous about these guys.

#30
MEN Chug! Chug! Chug!

#31
Chug! Chug! Chug!

#32
Hey.

#33
Chug! Oh!

#34
Do me a favor, hold that corner right there.

#35
- What's this? - Uh, I got to put up a sign.

#37
because of the Super Bowl.

#38
Okay. First of all,

#40
And second of all, which is it? Are we closed for salmonella,

#41
or are we closed 'cause of the Super Bowl? It's very confusing.

#42
- Look, do me a favor? Okay? - Yep.

#43
Just go find green man. Please? Please, thank you.

#45
No, I can't eat that right now. That-That's not right.

#46
It's not part of my rituals.

#47
Okay, do you know what's not right...

#48
is that we are trying to start a family,

#50
but what I need to take seriously right now

#51
is the Super Bowl, okay?

#52
And that means sticking to my color system.

#54
I'm green man. I eat brown,

#55
preferably, uh, milksteak with a little light char to it.

#56
And I drink yellow, because beer is yellow,

#57
and that is what has been working all season long!

#58
- Oh, my God. - I don't want to talk

#59
- about this right now. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

#61
Got to find green man.

#62
Why does no one understand this?

#63
Nobody cares about your stupid superstitions.

#64
Dude, just get off my back, all right? Let me find it.

#65
No. Man, look, I just wish one time

#66
you would not make everything so difficult.

#67
Yeah, and you know what?

#68
Sometimes I wish you'd just disappear.

#69
Yo, check it out. I got one last surprise.

#70
This is very nice.

#71
Party bus!

#72
- No way. - Fully stocked.

#73
There it is!

#74
- You found it! - All right.

#75
- You found the damn suit. Can we go now? - Nice.

#76
Where the hell is green man?!

#77
Where is it?!

#78
Well, I just can't find it, so I'm gonna have to, like,

#79
buy a new one on the way up there.

#81
as the other one did. I...

#84
Honey?

#86
Mac?

#87
Dee?

#88
Frank?

#89
I made my friends disappear.

#90
I made my friends disappear!

#91
♪ Rockin' around the Christmas tree ♪

#92
♪ At the Christmas party hop ♪

#93
♪ Mistletoe hung where you can see ♪

#94
♪ Every couple tries to stop ♪

#95
♪ Rockin' around... ♪

#96
Hey, Frank!

#97
I'm going through your stuff!

#99
♪ And we'll do some caroling ♪

#100
Hey, Mac!

#101
I'm going through your stuff!

#102
I got your...

#105
I'm going through your stuff!

#106
♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

#107
Dee, woof!

#108
♪ The Christmas tree, have a happy holiday ♪

#109
♪ Everyone dancing... ♪

#112
E-A-G-L-E-S!

#113
Eagles! All right, boys.

#115
It's all me. This is, like, my bar now.

#116
Hey, cheers to you and the big game, boys, right?

#117
Really cool, too, man.

#118
Those, like, those uniforms look really cool on you.

#119
You guys look, like, really strong.

#120
I am a little bored.

#121
What the heck?

#122
Hello?

#123
Hello?

#125
Dee?

#126
Frank?

#127
Is this a joke?

#128
Cricket?

#131
It's only my imagination.

#132
It's only my imagination. It's only my imagination.

#133
Okay.

#134
So, he tries to punch me. He misses.

#135
- Oh. - He misses. What an idiot, huh?

#136
Yeah.

#137
I got it.

#138
- Hey, idiot. - What?

#139
Read the sign.

#141
Well, which one is it? Is it closed for salmonella,

#142
- or is it closed for the Super Bowl? - I don't know.

#144
Thi-This is my bar.

#145
I have to defend it.

#146
Ah, I know.

#147
♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock ♪

#150
♪ Bushels of fun ♪

#151
♪ Now the jingle hop has begun ♪

#155
♪ In the frosty air ♪

#156
♪ What a bright time, it's the right time ♪

#157
♪ To rock the night away ♪

#159
♪ To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh ♪

#160
♪ Giddyup, jingle horse, pick up your feet ♪

#161
♪ Jingle around the clock ♪

#163
Ooh, ooh, that's a gusher.

#164
I got to stop the bleeding.

#165
Help! Help!

#167
Uh, okay. Okay.

#168
Oh, God. Oh, this is gonna suck.

#169
Oh! Shit!

#170
Okay.

#171
It's time for the Super Bowl. Super Bowl.

#172
Oh, man.

#173
What?

#174
How is the game starting? Uh...

#175
How did I lose an entire day?!

#176
Oh, shit, I got to get the TV on!

#177
Oh, shit. Hey, uh, help?

#178
Oh, who am I kidding, man?

#179
No one's gonna leave their TVs right now.

#180
My colors.

#181
I-I didn't do my color rituals. Guys,

#182
you're gonna lose the game because of me!

#183
I'm so sorry I let you guy...

#184
I let you guys down, man. I didn't...

#185
Oh, I blew it.

#186
It's gonna be my fault.

#187
Hey. Hey there, fella. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

#188
Be careful. Don't-don't... don't go by the traps.

#189
Don't... Come here, come here, come here.

#190
Come here, come here, come here. Come here. I got you.

#191
You're gonna be okay.

#192
'Cause I know what it's like to be caught in a trap now,

#193
and it's not okay.

#194
I won't let you get caught in a trap, okay?

#195
You're so cute and tiny and...

#196
and brown.

#197
Healthy-looking fellow, huh?

#198
Ah. The brown is down.

#199
The brown is down.

#200
Wasn't too bad.

#201
Eagles must have scored. It's working!

#202
All right. All right, let's get that TV on.

#203
I ate my brown, and it worked!

#204
I ate my brown!

#205
Although I got a feeling that's gonna

#206
come back to haunt me later.

#207
No, right now.

#208
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever eat a rat.

#209
♪ Risin' up... ♪

#210
Oh, man, that sounds like the Pats scored, huh?

#211
Okay, I-I just got to keep going with my colors, right?

#212
All right, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm-I'm gonna keep going.

#213
I'm gonna... I'm gonna wear green.

#214
I'm gonna drink yellow. All right.

#215
Green. What's-what's green? What's green?

#216
What can I...?

#217
Okay, I got it.

#218
Okay, boys, I got it.

#219
Here's the play.

#220
I'm not gonna let you fellas down.

#221
I'm gonna untie my shoes,

#222
I'm gonna toss them over the rope.

#223
That's gonna lower that green paint can down to me.

#224
Shoes goes up.

#225
Soar like an Eagle!

#226
Aah! Okay, boys,

#227
I'm not gonna let you down.

#228
Soar like an Eagle! Yeah!

#229
Oh, shit.

#230
Okay, plan B.

#231
Oh, no. Okay.

#232
Bear with me.

#233
All right.

#234
Let's chew through this bad boy.

#235
I'm gonna chew through it.

#236
There we go. Okay.

#237
Here we go.

#238
Oh, no.

#239
All right.

#240
I'm just gonna have to catch it.

#241
One...

#242
two...

#243
three.

#244
Okay, I'm green.

#245
That's...

#246
Nice. Sounds like it's working.

#247
All right.

#248
Got to get some yellow.

#249
Got to get some yellow! Got to drink some beers, boys!

#250
I'm coming, beer!

#251
I'm gonna get my yellow!

#252
Oh, shit!

#253
I'm stuck.

#254
Oh!

#255
Not enough yellow!

#256
Where the hell am I gonna get some yellow?

#257
Oh, God.

#258
Oh, God.

#259
Oh, this is awful.

#260
You can do it, Charlie. You drink that yellow.

#261
You got us here!

#262
Now finish what you started.

#263
Whoa. Hey, dudes.

#264
Finish your color rituals.

#265
Okay. Here goes!

#266
Go, Eagles!

#267
Oh, that was rough.

#268
Now turn on that TV.

#269
Yeah!

#270
Oh!

#271
I don't think I can get there, boys.

#272
You watched every game this season-- you can't miss

#273
the end of the most important one.

#274
Oh, come on, man.

#275
I did the color rituals. Isn't that enough?

#276
The only reason the Eagles made it this far

#277
is because of your superstitions.

#278
The rituals. They say you're caught in a bear trap.

#279
They say you lost two quarts of blood.

#280
They say you're hallucinating!

#281
Who's "they"?

#282
Everyone who didn't believe in you.

#283
- And I got two words for them: fuck 'em! - Right!

#284
You've got this, Charlie. You're an Eagle.

#285
- Yeah! - Now go turn on that TV!

#286
Yeah! Here I go!

#287
- Yeah, come on, Charlie. You got this. - Come on, Charlie.

#288
- Come on, Charlie. Come on! - Pull that chain! Pull it!

#289
Yeah!

#290
- Come on, Charlie. You can do this, baby. - Let's go.

#291
Oh, glass!

#292
- I stepped right on the glass! - Yeah, but keep pushing, man.

#293
No pain, no gain!

#294
Okay. I got it.

#295
- Oh! - Oh!

#296
I forgot about that one!

#297
Why would anybody do that to anybody?

#298
Fight through it. Fight through the pain!

#299
- Come on, come on. - Move, move.

#300
Oh, I forgot...

#301
- Oh! - Shit!

#302
Come on, man. You got it. You took that one, eh? Keep going,

#303
Charlie.

#304
- Come on, Charlie. - Pull that chain!

#305
- Pull that chain! Pull that chain! - I am pulling,

#306
you big fat assholes!

#307
There's some slack in here. Pull it.

#308
There you go.

#309
Come on, Charlie.

#310
I can't do it!

#311
I can't do it.

#312
No, no, it's too hard.

#313
No, the trap. It was designed for animals.

#314
Yeah. So?

#315
You're a human, dude.

#316
Use your thumbs.

#317
- What do you mean, use my thumbs? - There's a release lever

#318
on the bottom. Thumbs.

#319
What?!

#320
Well, why didn't you tell me there was a release lever?!

#321
You bought the trap, Charlie.

#322
I only know about the release lever

#323
because you know about the release lever.

#324
Y-You get that, right?

#325
- Yeah, no, I-I totally get that. - He's not getting it.

#326
- We're-we're not real. - No, I get it.

#327
Quick question: where is the release lever?

#328
- It's on the bottom! - It's on the bottom!

#329
- The bottom of the trap. - Yeah. You set it up.

#330
I see it. Okay.

#331
Oh!

#332
Patriots with the ball at their own

#333
- nine yard line. - Oh!

#334
Oh, Brady's got the ball. The ball... What?!

#335
Brady's got the ball with time on the clock!?

#336
Oh, shit, what happened? What changed?

#337
Yeah... you're gonna

#338
- have to get back in that trap. - Yeah.

#339
Aw, come on, man. You just told me to get out of it.

#340
Yeah, that was before Brady had the ball.

#341
Does it have to be the same leg or...

#342
- Yeah. - Same leg.

#343
Damn it! Are you sure this is gonna work?

#344
Every single thing that every fan does,

#345
at home or at the stadium, makes a direct impact in the game.

#346
Aw... shit.

#347
♪ Fly, Eagles, fly ♪

#348
- ♪ On the road to victory ♪ - ♪ Fight, fight, fight ♪

#349
♪ Fight, Eagles, fight ♪

#350
♪ Score a touchdown, one, two, three ♪

#351
♪ One, two, three ♪

#352
♪ Hit 'em low ♪

#353
♪ Hit 'em high ♪

#354
♪ And watch our Eagles fly ♪

#355
♪ Fly, Eagles, fly ♪

#356
♪ On the road to victory. ♪

#357
E-A-G-L-E-S!

#358
Eagles!

#359
E-A-G-L-E-S!

#360
Eagles!

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