Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S13E09 — The Gang Wins the Big Game

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 13, Episode 9 — The Gang Wins the Big Game

#1
♪ Fly, Eagles, fly... ♪

#2
Where is it? It was right here.

#3
I cannot find it. And by the way, Mac,

#4
what are you even talking about? The word is

#5
"superstition," not "stupidstition."

#6
I know what the word is, Charlie.

#7
I'm saying your Green Man suit is a stupid superstition.

#8
Oh, really? Then why do the Eagles keep winning?

#9
Also, by the way, dude, uh, you're a Cowboys fan, so shut the hell up.

#10
I'm not a Cowboy fan, I'm a Tony Romo fan,

#11
and he retired, so now I bleed green. Go, Birds, go, Birds!

#12
All right, well, I'm not going to the Super Bowl without it. I got to find it.

#13
Yeah, don't make us late, Charlie, all right?

#14
I-If you can't find it, you can't find it, you know?

#15
The-the fans have no effect on the outcome of the game, anyway.

#16
- Do you know how football works? - Yes, that's right,

#17
your voodoo bullshit is not gonna mean anything at the--

#18
what? What's going on with your eye?

#19
Uh, nothing, I got a-- I think I got an eyelash in it.

#20
You're, like, scratching it and it's blinking...

#21
I just, I slept on it funny.

#22
What the hell is the holdup here?

#23
Frank, this is why I wanted

#24
total control over the guest list, all right?

#25
The eyes of the world are gonna be on Philadelphia.

#27
And that is why I'm very nervous about these guys.

#28
Yeah! Chug, chug, chug!

#30
- Chug, chug, chug! - Hey!

#31
Chug-- boom!

#32
That's 15.

#33
Post that, Jack, post it, baby.

#34
I can't-- it doesn't work with this, uh...

#35
- Oh! - Oh, come on.

#36
No big, giant, ridiculous hands.

#37
What? What? D-Don't make me go without them.

#38
I'm not making you go at all.

#39
Frank, these people are the worst.

#40
Come on, Mac. This is the salt of the earth.

#42
- Yeah. - You have literally picked out

#44
I got to agree with that. These guys are pieces of shit.

#45
- What is in your mouth? - Chew.

#46
- Awesome, cool, good to see you. - Oh, my God.

#47
- Cricket. - Yeah, baby?

#48
Bad news, you're out.

#49
- What? Wait, why? - Well, you are literally

#50
the worst representation of the entire city.

#53
a little quicker than me-- that's lesson learned.

#54
You can't bump Crick.

#55
- I can, I have, and I will. - Oh, God.

#57
- Hey, guys! - Oh, hey!

#58
- Pumped for the big game? - Yeah, baby.

#59
Yes. Now, see, Rex represents the best

#60
- that Philadelphia has to offer. - Oh, yeah.

#62
- Unbelievable. I mean... - All right, Crick, all right.

#63
- You're the worst. - We got to go, we got to go.

#64
Yo, check it out. I got one last surprise.

#65
Here you go, here you go.

#66
- Is this a bar? - Nice.

#68
- You found it! - All right.

#69
You found the damn suit-- can we go now?

#71
L! E! S! Eagles!

#72
♪ It's the eye of the tiger ♪

#73
♪ It's the thrill of the fight ♪

#74
♪ Rising up to the challenge of our rival ♪

#75
♪ And the last known survivor ♪

#76
♪ Stalks his prey in the night ♪

#78
♪ Of the tiger ♪

#79
♪ The eye of the tiger... ♪

#81
Wait for it.

#83
No, no, no. We're gonna sing it again?

#84
This is, like, the tenth time.

#85
Oh, yeah, i-it turns out there's not that many songs

#87
Aw, man...

#88
Uh, Charlie.

#89
- What happened to your nose? - Uh...

#90
You're bleeding, man.

#93
- Cricket. - Cricket!

#94
Yes, it's me, it's me. I snuck on, all right?

#95
- Ah, this damn nose. - Ooh, ooh, ooh. We should, uh,

#96
uh, we should probably go back for Charlie, right? But...

#97
Ah, I don't want to set a precedent of little mishaps

#98
setting us back, so...

#101
what about the waitress? She's gonna want to turn around.

#102
- Sh-She don't even like football. - Oh, yeah, football sucks.

#103
But if Charlie missed the bus, he missed the bus.

#104
I'm not missing a second of my dreamboat, Tommy Terrific!

#105
Go, Pats! Go, Pats! Go, Pats!

#106
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Drive! Drive!

#107
Go, Pats! Go, Pats! Oh, shit, pothole.

#109
- Oh, that was bad. That was bad. - Oh, yeah.

#110
You're not looking so good, Frank.

#113
of my new Invigaron berries to hock at the game.

#114
Invigaron?

#115
You're involved in that pyramid scheme, too?

#117
Just be meat, okay?

#118
Well-- take off your shirt, please.

#119
It's so cold, Mac.

#121
Just a little intestinal cramping. I'll be fine.

#123
Oh, Jesus.

#127
Uh, okay.

#128
Oh, man, I got grease on my jean shorts.

#129
All right, well, uh, all right, there's good news and bad news.

#130
The bad news is, the axle's bent,

#131
and this bus isn't going anywhere.

#132
But the good news is is we passed a Walmart

#136
But I can get a new pair of jean shorts.

#138
We invite the wrong crowd, and now we've got people

#139
going on expeditions for jean shorts.

#140
And hocking magical berries and rooting for the Patriots?

#141
This always happens to us.

#142
Every single thing we do turns to shit.

#143
And now, we finally have an opportunity to be something,

#144
to be winners, and we're not gonna make it.

#145
We are never, ever gonna make it to the Super Bowl.

#146
Well...

#147
E-A-G-L-E-S! Eagles!

#148
Hi, everyone. Welcome to Super Bowl LII.

#149
Well, we made it to the Super Bowl. That was easy.

#150
Yeah, it was incredibly smooth.

#151
All right, guys, let's go out into the stadium,

#152
see what we can get ourselves into.

#153
Guys, guys.

#154
Let's just stay in the box, all right?

#155
You know, for the whole game, everybody just stays in the box.

#156
Let's-let's cool it on the boos, you know?

#157
That's-that's kind of, like, what we're famous for, you know?

#158
We-we boo ourselves, we boo the Eagles, we boo Santa Claus.

#159
Let's save our boos, for the team that deserves it.

#160
And that's the most successful franchise

#161
in the history of organized sports.

#162
Okay. Let's just be the most respectful

#163
Philly fans we can be.

#164
Mac's right. Everybody, just act like you belong.

#165
- What? What? - That's okay to boo.

#166
Yeah, Dee, your eye does not look good.

#167
Okay, "Everybody look at me, I'm a stupid Pats fan,

#168
making up stuff about Dee's eye."

#169
Dee, you definitely have pink eye.

#170
I-I don't have pink... all right.

#171
Would a person with pink eye do this?

#172
Would she do that?

#173
- Boo. - What?

#174
- Guys, the game's gonna start. - Oh!

#175
Kickoff, kickoff. Kickoff, kickoff.

#176
Guys, stay positive. Stay positive.

#177
Gostkowski approaches the football,

#178
and Super Bowl LII is underway.

#179
Oh, I like this drive, boys.

#180
I like this drive.

#181
Birds look good. Birds look good.

#182
Frank, what's going on, man?

#183
- Huh? - What's wrong with you?

#184
I just got to go to the bathroom.

#185
We can go? Let's take a, take a walk.

#186
Well, h-hold on one second. They're-- Eagles are driving.

#187
Let's just wait till there's a break in the action.

#188
- I got to pee. - Hello.

#189
Someone has been pushing the call button. Nonstop.

#190
Oh, that's me. Yeah, I-I choked down some dogs too fast.

#191
They-they didn't settle, you know?

#192
They came back up, actually.

#193
On the other dogs.

#194
Yeah, we're gonna need some reinforcements there, pal.

#195
Can we get some binoculars up in here, too?

#196
Oh, my God.

#197
How did I move all the way to Minnesota,

#198
and I'm still waiting on you people?

#199
- Huh? - What are you talking about?

#200
- I've waited on you. - I-I don't know this guy.

#201
- No, you never waited on us. - Uh-uh.

#202
- We don't live in Minnesota, bud. - Yeah.

#203
I have waited on you back in--

#204
uh, you know what? It's not worth recapping.

#205
W-What's the point?

#206
Hey, man.

#207
You seem a little stressed-- ooh.

#208
You're kind of frail. You need to get swole.

#209
What if I told you there's a berry

#210
that can handle all your fitness needs?

#211
I'm good, but thank you.

#212
I'm just gonna go do my job.

#213
Oh!

#214
I tied his shoelaces together.

#215
This Minnesota rube, he's not ready

#216
for your big-city shenanigans, Frank.

#217
Waiter, run and go get us some beer, would you?

#218
And the kick is good.

#219
And the Eagles lead Super Bowl LII...

#220
I got to pee now. I got to pee now.

#221
- Yeah, let's go now. - All right. There's a break in the action.

#222
Frank, we got to come back fast.

#223
- Come back fast. - I got to go.

#224
Oh! God! Damn it!

#225
What's going on over there, Frank?

#226
I got a kidney stone.

#227
Oh. O-On the bus.

#228
I felt a little piece of kidney stone break off

#229
and go through the, into the bladder.

#230
Why didn't you tell me that you have a kidney stone, dude?

#231
I don't want to freak you out.

#232
Well, you're freaking me out now, man.

#233
Oh, shit, we're missing something.

#234
Listen, Frank. This kidney stone better not screw us up.

#235
I can manage.

#236
This ain't my first rodeo.

#237
The P.A.T. is no good. He missed it.

#238
Yes!

#239
We don't see the touchdown and then they miss the extra point?

#240
Dee, how'd the Eagles score?

#241
Who knows? I can't see a goddamn thing this high up.

#242
These seats are the worst.

#243
You can't see because you have

#244
a very serious bacterial infection in your eye.

#245
- Hey, you got new hands. - Oh, yeah.

#246
Oh, I like them.

#247
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

#248
Where do you think you're going?

#249
Oh, ding-dong here's getting honored

#250
with the rest of the vets.

#251
I'm gonna sneak down there with him.

#252
When we get close to the field, I'm gonna let you in

#253
on a little plan I've whipped up.

#254
No, no plans, all right? Just stay in the box.

#255
Guess what? No one's talking to you, okay?

#256
All right, when we get close to the field...

#257
Whoa. Dee. Both your eyes are looking real bad.

#258
Oh, yeah, that pink eye's disgusting.

#259
So, you know what, you can go, but I'm,

#260
I'm just gonna cover you up

#261
so people don't know that you're from Philadelphia.

#262
Go. Go. Go.

#263
Mac, come on. What're we doing up here, huh?

#264
L-Luxury suite? Napkins? Utensils?

#265
We're going soft up here in this ivory tower.

#266
I mean, if they get to go, we should, too.

#267
Come on, let us loose, Mac. Unleash the fury!

#268
I mean, how's Brady even supposed to know

#269
I'm here in this stupid box? The guy...

#270
Tom Brady does not care that you are here.

#271
Guys, nobody leaves the box! All right? And you.

#272
Take off the goddamn shirt!

#273
Whoa.

#274
Oh...

#275
What am I looking at here, Rex?

#276
It's the Invigaron berries, man.

#277
They're loaded with sugar, but I'm in too deep.

#278
I've got to sell 40 cases of this stuff

#279
or I'm gonna lose my apartment.

#280
The snap is good, the hold is perfect...

#281
Oh, yes! In your face! In your face!

#282
Brady hands off to James White.

#283
He's across the 20,

#284
avoids another tackle and crosses the goal line.

#285
-Touchdown, Patriots.

#286
Yes! Hell yeah, another Patriots touchdown.

#287
Tommy Touchdown coming to get y'all. Yes.

#288
You know what? You get out, too.

#289
- Oh, yeah? - Yes.

#290
- I can go? - Yes.

#291
All right. Tommy, Mama's coming.

#292
I got to piss.

#293
The stone's making me go. I got to go.

#294
Frank, I've already taken you, like, three times, all right?

#295
And all I've got to see are good plays by the Patriots.

#296
- Let the man piss. - Yeah, I got to go.

#297
No. Every time Frank goes to the bathroom, the Eagles score.

#298
Are you pissing?

#299
Piss, Frank, piss.

#300
I'm pissing, and it hurts like shit.

#301
- What's going on with the game? - Just...

#302
Just keep peeing. I don't know. It's not updating.

#303
...throws into the end zone.

#304
Touchdown!

#305
- Us or them? Us or them? - I don't know, Frank.

#306
- I don't know. What happened? Wha...? - Hey-oh!

#307
- Pondy, what happened? - Eagles score!

#308
Yes!

#309
Pondy, I need you to bring as much beer to this bathroom

#310
as you possibly can.

#311
- Frank, drink! - Got to piss.

#312
I need you to piss through this entire game, Frank.

#313
- We can't leave this bathroom. - I want to...

#314
The Eagles need us.

#315
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Hold on. You need a pass.

#316
Hey, whoa, watch out.

#317
- Watch where you're going. - Oop, sorry.

#318
- Open your eyes. - Sorry. (groans) Oh.

#319
Perfect timing, man. I need to get this out to Brady.

#320
Brady's ready to go out.

#321
He's really wiping that sweat off with that towel.

#322
I mean, he's really going at it.

#323
Just squirt some out, man, squirt it out.

#324
I can't piss no more. It hurts like shit.

#325
You got to force it out, then.

#326
Where's Pondy with the beer? Oh!

#327
You, you! Ten beers, stat.

#328
I'm off duty, just here to go to the bathroom.

#329
- Mac, the crew got out. - What?

#330
- It's not just a berry. - Oh, no.

#331
It's a berry found deep in the jungles of the Amazon forest,

#332
and available for the first time!

#333
I'm a happy client.

#334
First down! Whoo, yeah. I love you, Tom.

#335
ANNOUNCER And it's always nice to see

#336
our nation's troops being honored.

#337
We are Philadelphia!

#338
These guys are a total embarrassment.

#339
We blew it, man.

#340
Now Brady's got the ball with two and a half minutes left.

#341
He's gonna take the ball down the field,

#342
he's gonna score, and he's gonna win the game.

#343
Because that's who he is, man.

#344
And you know who we are? We're losers.

#345
All of Philadelphia.

#346
We're angry, and we're mean and we're cruel.

#347
And we act like jerks, and now these assholes,

#348
they can't even bring us beer so that you can pass the stone

#349
and we can win the game.

#350
No. No, no, Mac. You got 'em all wrong.

#351
No.

#352
Those guys, those guys are Philadelphia.

#353
They bust their ass every day just to get through.

#354
And then, on a Sunday, they put all their hopes into the Eagles.

#355
And year after year after year, their team lets them down.

#356
And they get angry.

#357
And that anger builds into a stone of fury.

#358
And if it could just be released,

#359
then we could feel something different.

#360
What?

#361
W-Well, then, you, me, us, those guys,

#362
the whole city of Philadelphia could feel like champions!

#363
Frank.

#364
You got to push that stone out right now.

#365
- You can do it. - I can do it.

#366
- You can do it. - I'll piss it out!

#367
Do it for the Birds, Frank.

#368
Do it for the whole city of Philadelphia, man, push!

#369
Brady, with White to his right, takes the snap.

#370
Do it like Rocky, man. Push.

#371
Brady back, steps up. He's hit by Brandon Graham.

#372
- The ball is loose!

#373
And the Eagles have it! The Eagles have it!

#374
It's recovered by Derek Barnett!

#375
Brady lost the ball.

#376
Looks like he couldn't see the defender.

#377
It's-it's like something was wrong with his eyes.

#378
Brady fumbled.

#379
The Eagles recovered.

#380
- You did it! - Oh, no, Mac. We did it!

#381
We did it! We did it! We did it.

#382
We did it! We did it!

#383
I don't know why you care, fair-weather fan.

#384
Fair-weather fan. You're from Minnesota, that's okay.

#385
E-A-G-L-E-S! Eagles!

#386
♪ Fly, Eagles, fly... ♪

#387
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

#388
- What? - What're you singing about?

#389
Oh, I'm over Tommy Fumbles.

#390
I'm all about my man, Nick Foles!

#391
Gross. You know, it doesn't matter.

#392
Guys, I have an announcement to make.

#393
I owe you an apology.

#394
You guys are true representations

#395
of the city of Philadelphia.

#396
And we came together as a city.

#397
And, guys, we helped the Eagles win the Super Bowl.

#398
They won the Super Bowl!

#399
Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

#400
Brady got the ball back, and there's 58 seconds

#401
left in the game.

#402
What did you do?!

#403
You sons of bitches, this is your fault!

#404
You screwed it up!

#405
What're we gonna do? What do we do?

#406
Do a superstition. Frank! Pee! Pee! Pee!

#407
- Hey, I'm dry. - Somebody do a superstition, quick!

#408
Charlie!

#409
The Patriots with the ball

#410
at their own nine yard line.

#411
Oh! Oh, Brady's got the ball.

#412
- They are out of time outs. - Wha-What?!

#413
Brady's got the ball with time on the clock?

#414
Oh, shit. What happened? What changed?

#415
Yeah, you're gonna have to get back in that trap.

#416
- Yep. - Aw, come on, man.

#417
You just told me to get out of it.

#418
Yeah, that was before Brady had the ball.

#419
Ah. Does it have to be the same leg or...

#420
- Same leg. - Damn it!

#421
Are you sure this is gonna work?

#422
Every single thing that every fan does,

#423
at home or at the stadium,

#424
makes a direct impact in the game.

#425
No, you're right. I want to help you win out there.

#426
Oh, I'm getting a call.

#427
Let me think about this for a minute.

#428
Hey, what's up, Mac?

#429
Hey, Charlie, what's g...

#430
Whoa, man, what the hell happened to you?

#431
- It's a long story. - All right.

#432
Well, did you do your superstitions?

#433
Brady's going to Gronk, we're screwed.

#434
I got one thing left to do.

#435
All right, well, you better hurry up, man.

#436
I'm doing it. Here it goes.

#437
He's backing up in the pocket!

#438
He's back again. He steps up.

#439
- Brady's backing up. - He's hit. He stumbles.

#440
-Do it, do it now! - He's throwing!

#441
He is going deep for the end zone,

#442
and it is...

#443
batted around...

#444
and incomplete!

#445
And the game is over!

#446
We did it!

#447
We did it! The superstitions are real!

#448
Yes!

#449
Charlie, you did it!

#450
You did it, you were right.

#451
The superstitions were real. You did it, man!

#452
What a tremendous Super Bowl.

#453
It is still a mystery as to what happened with Brady's eye,

#454
but it had to have an effect on his play late in the game.

#455
What a win for the Eagles,

#456
and what a win for the city of Philadelphia.

#457
We did it!

#458
They did it! They did it! They did it! They did it.

#459
- It's over! - Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

#460
- They did it! - They did it!

#461
Oh, my God, they did it!

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