Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S11E06 — Being Frank

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 11, Episode 6 — Being Frank

#1
Oh, where am I? Oh.

#2
Oh.

#3
Where am I?

#4
Oy, I made it home.

#5
Oh, God.

#6
Ah?

#7
Where am I supposed to be?

#8
Oh, shit, look.

#9
Shit. Okay.

#10
Get up.

#11
Oh, I drank too much.

#13
Where's the toilet? Where's the toilet?

#15
Okay, Frank.

#16
Pull yourself together, get to the bar.

#17
Okay...

#19
Still got it.

#21
- It's only a backup. - You're gonna be fine.

#22
If everybody sticks to the tasks that I've carefully tailored

#23
for each of you, then you're gonna be great.

#24
- Everything's gonna work out. - Shit.

#25
Frank, do you know what's happening?

#26
Mmm, play it cool, play it cool.

#27
Uh, Dennis, I know what's happening.

#28
My God.

#29
So what?

#30
Well, if we were just asking if everybody knows what's going on,

#31
- I wanna say that I do. - I wasn't asking.

#32
- That's not what's going on. - He didn't.

#34
- That's not the thing. - All right, you know what?

#35
- Let's go over the blueprint, okay? - Yeah, the blueprint.

#36
I want everybody to map out their positions, specifically.

#37
All right, here's your chance to catch up.

#38
Look at the blueprint. Listen to the vain one.

#39
He knows the deal. What's his name again?

#40
Is it Damon? No, Delroy.

#41
No. DeMarcus.

#42
Why can't I thinkof his name today?

#43
Shuke.

#44
I... I think he justexplained the plan.

#45
- So, I think we're good. - Yeah.

#46
Frank, you ready to run us all through it again?

#47
Shit. Deflect. Deflect.

#48
Shut up, bird.

#49
Don't ask him to run us back through it. He knows the plan. All right, good.

#50
- So we're good. Let's do it. - Yeah, Frank...

#51
- Let's do it. - Nice save, Frankie.

#52
Like, your timing...

#53
You're so funny every time.

#54
Frank, what? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where you going, man?

#56
Right, yeah, emergency.

#57
Right, okay, and you have your walkie, right?

#58
No. Yes.

#59
- Great. - All right.

#60
All right, let's do it. We'll be in touch.

#61
Ah, shit!

#62
Gotta get home. Got to get that walkie.

#63
Starving.

#64
Oh, what's that?

#65
Pondy. Ha, ha!

#66
"Let's party." Ha.

#67
Sorry, Pondy. Can't.

#68
Old tits. He's saying I'm old.

#69
Goddamn it, Pondy's the coolest.

#70
L... O... M?

#71
Yeah, "M." Stupid phone.

#72
Ah, shit. Probably Asians.

#73
Oh, walkie, walkie, walkie, walkie. Where?

#74
Where the hell did I put that thing? Where the hell is it? Ah, shit.

#75
I'll get... There it is. Okay, got it. I'm here.

#76
Keep the line clear, you idiot. Over.

#77
- Roger that. - Stop talking. Over.

#78
Well, well, well.

#79
Goddamn it.

#80
I hate this slimy bastard.

#81
Where's the rent, Frank?

#82
In my pocket where it's gonna stay until you fix the plumbing.

#83
You're playing games with me, Frank.

#84
I don't like games.

#85
You know what I like?

#86
This sandwich.

#87
It's snake meat.

#88
Snake meat?

#89
Oh, is that what you people eat?

#90
Yeah, snake meat.

#91
I hope you choke on that

#92
and die, you piece of shit.

#94
Oh. Oh, shit. He is choking.

#95
- You son of a bitch. - Frank?

#97
Give me that goddamn thing.

#98
Snake meat, huh? Hmm.

#99
Oh, went down the wrong pipe.

#100
Now I'm choking.

#102
I don't want to die looking at you, you savage.

#103
Shit. Ooh, shit.

#104
I'm checking out.

#105
Somebody throw me in the trash.

#106
Where am I?

#107
Where am I? Oh.

#108
Am I dead? Huh?

#109
Am I in hell?

#110
No.

#111
I died and went to heaven.

#112
Oh, come to Papa. Let me have 'em.

#113
Rest up now. You're in the hospital.

#114
Everything's okay.

#115
Mr. Reynolds, you're a very lucky man.

#116
If it weren't for that choking fit,

#117
we would have never been able to run tests, and...

#118
We found something. You have a very serious disease,

#119
but fortunately, we caught it just in time.

#120
- There's a malignant tumor... - Oh.

#121
- Look at those Winnebagos. - ... on your front lobe...

#122
Shabooya roll call.

#123
I would like to take a ride down the Grand Canyon

#124
in those honeys. Whoo.

#125
Which sadly means,

#126
- we might have to remove it. - Huh?

#127
DENNIS Frank. Frank, come in. Over.

#128
Oh, shit, I got to go.

#129
Sir, sir, you shouldn't be running anywhere.

#130
- Your condition may be terminal. - Out of my way.

#131
Wait, please, sir,

#132
whatever you do, don't...

#133
Frank, Frank, come in. Over.

#134
I'm on my way.

#135
Ah, shit. I need a ride.

#136
I bet Pondy will pick me up.

#137
Party mobile's here.

#139
Hop in, Frank.

#140
Aw, goddamn it, Pondy's the coolest.

#141
It's official, Frank. I divorced that cheatin' bitch.

#142
Yeah, I mean, I cheated on her, too,

#143
but who's keeping score, right?

#144
Anyhoo, I got a nest egg to blow,

#145
so that whore can't touch it.

#146
Let's rage.

#147
Hey. Here. Take an aspirin.

#148
That ain't aspirin.

#149
It ain't aspirin.

#150
Does Frankenstein want to come out and play?

#151
I'm sorry, Pondy. No drugs for me today.

#152
- I need to keep my wits about me. - Lame!

#153
- More for me. - Frank.

#154
We're outside the bakery on 6th Street. Where the hell are you?

#155
Pondy, I need the car. Solo.

#156
Roger dodger.

#157
I'll just drop myself off at the roller rink, you know?

#158
Get some strange. Hop in, baby.

#159
Pondy is the coolest.

#160
Rock you like a hurricane

#161
Oh. Dumb bird got a boot on her car.

#162
You're right, I'm wrong, okay?

#163
- Get in the car. - God. Where the hell have you been?

#164
Don't blame him. He's not the one who got a goddamn boot on his car.

#165
Whose car is this, anyway?

#167
- What? - Aw, we're all over the place, man.

#168
What are we doing in this car? No, no, no. We're good, we're good, okay?

#169
Except why aren't we moving yet, Frank?

#170
All right. We're good. Let's huddle up, you guys.

#171
- Let's review the plan. - Okay, listen.

#172
- Pay attention. - Okay, so, Frank,

#173
you're on guard dog duty.

#174
Dee, Charlie, and I are gonna distract the guard.

#175
Mac is tossing the rug over the barbed wire and sneaking in.

#176
- Yeah? - I'm still lost.

#177
Uh, one problem. We're gonna need a new rug

#178
- because I threw it clean over. - What?

#179
- Wha... Oh. - Oh, Jesus, dude.

#180
- How'd this happen? - You only had to drape it

#181
on the barbed wire and climb over the fence.

#182
I'm too strong. I'm sorry, Dennis.

#183
"Too strong." Okay, well, you know what,

#186
What's plan B here? Does anyone know?

#187
There is no goddamn plan B. I don't know.

#189
- We'll go distract the guard. - Yeah, yeah.

#190
- Let's get a look at the schedule. - Let's go.

#191
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. - Just got to figure out what's going on.

#192
Hey, Frank?

#193
- Do you think that Dennis hates me? - What?

#194
I just want him to think that I'm cool, you know?

#195
And I just feel like... Is this a little bit lame?

#196
I just feel like I can talk to you about this kind of stuff.

#197
- Yeah? - Oh, yeah, you can tell me anything.

#198
Really? Oh, well,

#199
honestly, I just feel like...

#200
Oh, God, this one creeps me out.

#201
I hate being alone with him.

#203
You know what I mean?

#204
- Yeah, yeah. Totally, totally. - Yeah, okay.

#205
Well, look, if you could just casually,

#207
- What is that, fudge? - ...I think he'll respect me.

#208
- Whoa, whoa. Dude, what are you doing? - Mmm.

#209
Those are dog treats laced with sleeping pills.

#210
Those are for the guard dog.

#211
- Tasty. I'm gonna keep eating it. - Maybe I could just hop the fence...

#212
- Mmm. - ...you know? I mean...

#213
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I knowwhere there's another rug.

#214
- I know where I can get a rug real quick. - What?

#215
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

#216
Are you sure you can drive, dude?

#217
Out of my way, creep.

#218
Franklin, thank you for coming.

#219
Hey, I got no time for swapping loads. I'm in a jam.

#220
Whoa, Jews.

#221
What is this?

#222
We're sitting shiva, for my Aunt Joyce.

#223
Come, meet my family.

#224
That dog stuff is kicking in.

#226
Ooh-hoo. Shabooya roll call.

#227
Oh, shit. There's the rug.

#228
Under the buffet table.

#229
Mom, Dad,

#230
this is my part-time lover, Frank Reynolds.

#231
Whoa. Starting to feel woozy. Say something smart.

#232
Excuse me,

#233
I'm full of dog poison.

#234
That's not good. That's not good, Frankie.

#235
What's happening? What's happening?

#236
What's happening?

#237
Come on. Come on, Frank. Frank.

#238
Hello, Frank.

#239
Artie.

#241
Got to get the rug. I'm getting a rug.

#242
There are drugs

#243
- in the medicine cabinet. - What?

#244
There's drugs in the medicine cabinet.

#245
Uppers, uppers, uppers, uppers.

#246
Jackpot.

#247
Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

#248
Ooh. Crush it.

#249
Crush it, Frankie. What are you gonna do?

#250
Oh, slowing down.

#251
Need uppers.

#252
It's Frankenstein.

#253
Frank? Frank?

#254
- Rug, rug, rug, rug. - Hey, are you okay?

#255
Get out of the way, Jew.

#256
- What's happening? - Out of my way.

#257
Hey.

#258
Back off.

#259
What's going on?

#260
- Rug. - Frank.

#261
Car. Come on, come on. Come on.

#262
Don't get killed, don't get killed.

#263
Watch the car, watch the car.

#264
Get in the car.

#265
Get out of here, you mutt.

#266
Heya, kid. Balloon.

#267
Food. Got to get a hot dog. Hot dog, hot dog, hot dog.

#268
Ow, hot. Hot.

#269
Need booze. Gotta flush it out. Gotta flush it out.

#270
Booze, booze, booze.

#271
Got to flush them out.

#272
I'm coming. Oh, sick. Oh, sick.

#273
Get outta here.

#274
That's better.

#275
Got to modulate, Frankie.

#276
I'm coming, Pondy. I'm coming. I'm coming.

#277
Don't worry about it, Pondy.

#278
I'm coming. Where is he?

#279
Pondy? Where is he? Where is he?

#280
- Whoa. - Keep that engine running, Frankie.

#281
- Screwed up, Frank. - What did you do?

#282
I got handsy with some pretty young thing.

#283
I mean, she looked 18 to me. I don't know.

#284
I'm out of control. Oh, shit.

#285
Pop the glove compartment, Frank.

#287
No, Pondy. No.

#288
Give me that gun. You got too much to live for.

#289
You're right, Frank. You're right.

#290
Everything's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay.

#291
Come here.

#292
I'm coming, Pondy.

#293
- Eat shit, Daddy. - Oh.

#294
- He's getting his ass kicked. - Get out of my face, old man,

#295
before I kick your ass and throw you in that trunk.

#296
I gotta think of something tough to say.

#297
Nice nips, cupcake.

#298
What's happening?

#299
Oh, shit, that bald bitch knocked me out.

#300
I'm in the trunk, aren't I?

#301
How long have I been in here?

#302
Still got the gun.

#303
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

#304
Oh, shit. Where am I?

#305
Oh, shit. I'm at an impound.

#306
Pondy's car must have got towed here.

#307
Oh, my head, is...

#308
Oh.

#309
Huh.

#310
Oh, is that the gang?

#311
Why are they dressed like cops?

#312
Hey. What the hell are you guys doing?

#313
Frank? Frank.

#314
- He's in there. Come... - Frank.

#315
- We did it. - What?

#316
We didn't know when the guard was on break.

#317
- Awesome. - You did it. You did it, man.

#318
- Okay, okay, now go get Dennis' car. - Yeah, go on.

#319
That... Get Dennis' car?

#320
Hey, your name is Dennis.

#321
What the hell are you talking about?

#322
Dude, get my car before the guard comes back.

#323
- Go. - Okay, I'm on it. I'm on it.

#324
- Goddamn rug. - Oh!

#325
- Uh-oh. - Big spill.

#326
- Oh, are you okay, man? - Are you all right?

#327
- You all right, Frank? - You all right?

#328
Charlie, you there? Oh, yeah, yeah. I know.

#329
- Your glasses are right in front of you. - Where?

#330
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go, go, go.

#331
Faster, Frank. Faster.

#332
- Where? - They're right there. Right there.

#333
Oh, shit.

#334
Run, run, run, run, run, run.

#335
Run. Run, run, run, run. Frank. Run, Frank.

#336
Eat flesh, you mangy mutt.

#337
Come on,

#338
thinkof something cool to say.

#339
Anybody need a ride?

#340
Come on.

#341
That's right. Frankie, number one.

#342
Nice, Frankie. You came through.

#343
Oh, crap. This one's gonna sitin the front.

#344
I hope he doesn't try to touch me.

#345
- Don't touch me! - Oh, shit, dude, I'm sorry.

#346
Think of something. Think of something good.

#347
Dee's a bird.

#348
She is a bird.

#349
- She is a bird. - That's nice.

#350
She is a bird.

#351
She's totally a bird.

#352
You getting in there deep, Frank?

#353
Oh, yeah.

#354
Whoo! What a day, man.

#355
What a day.

#356
- Yeah, it sure was, Charlie. - Tell you, though.

#357
Great work, bud. You killed it, really.

#358
Aw, thanks, Charlie.

#359
When you got a good plan, you stick to it.

#360
- Piece of cake. - Yeah.

#361
All right, well... I guess, we should go to sleep.

#362
- We've got a big day tomorrow. - We do?

#363
Yeah. With...

#364
You're just messing with me, aren't you?

#365
Oh, you know exactly what we're doing tomorrow, don't you?

#366
Of course, I do.

#367
We got the thing with the thing. Uh, the thing.

#368
- Yeah, we probably should go to sleep. - Yeah.

#369
- All right, well. - Hmm.

#370
Could go to sleep, or, uh...

#371
...we could play one quick game of night crawlers.

#372
You down for that?

#373
I knew you would be.

#374
- All right, let me get the blanket. - Okay.

#375
Darkness falls.

#376
And magic stirs.

#377
Oh, it's stirring, it's stirring.

#378
As we become...

#379
the creatures of the night!

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