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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#299
I think that went well. You did a wonderful job, Charlie.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#300
- I really think they bought it. CHARLIE: Oh, yeah. Definitely.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#301
I gotta say, my favorite part was at the end there

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#302
when we were all hugging, and my sister screamed

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#303
and told everyone that I touched her vagina.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#304
(laughs) Yeah!

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#305
So, Charlie, where to?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#306
Oh, well, I was thinking we should, uh, zip down to the police station,

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#307
you know, file an official report.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#308
I mean, I gotta do it sometime, right?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#309
- That's the spirit. - Let's get it on the books.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#310
(clears throat) Excuse me. I'd like to speak to a detective, please.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#311
- Name? - Charlie Kelly.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#312
- And what is this in reference to? - Sodomy.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#313
Okay. Uh, take a seat. Someone will be right with you.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#314
LIAM: You're doing the right thing, Charlie.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#315
The American school system's been oppressing people for years.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#316
It's about time we start doing a little oppressing ourselves.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#317
(sighs) - It doesn't make sense. - Yes, it does.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#318
How are we oppressing anything? You need to think before you speak.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#319
- You do. MAN: Charlie Kelly?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#320
Oh. That's me. Uh, I'll be right back.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#321
Have a good time.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#322
Twenty-five million is a lot of clams.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#323
(door closes) Split it 50-50.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#324
Charlie's gonna want something. What about Charlie?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#325
(inaudible) Yeah. He'll want some.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#326
He's not gonna get some.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#327
We could always split it 50-50-50. (door opens)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#328
You even hear what you're saying?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#329
Your gums are bleeding.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#330
- Hey, how'd it go? - Great. I just ratted you out.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#331
Can I see you two boys for a minute, please?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#332
So you're not gonna get in any trouble at all?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#333
Uh, no. No, not really. And since the McPoyles are gonna plead guilty,

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#334
- I'm sort off the hook completely. - That's great.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#335
I'm sorry. Was he saying that the intervention worked?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#336
No, I don't think that's what he's saying.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#337
What are you talking about? It was the final push Charlie needed.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#338
Turns out three-quarters of a major, not so bad after all. Right?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#339
Oh, and the best part of it, actually, for me now

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#340
s the fact that everybody thinks that I've been molested.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#341
So, in a way, my life is ruined.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#342
Uh, in the meantime, I'm gonna go in the back office

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#343
and cry and cry and cry, and drink for a while.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#344
(door closes)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#345
Emotional release. Another giant step forward.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S01E07 — Charlie Got Molested
#346
- My God, we're good. Doctor. - Doctor.

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