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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#37
- Why would you say she's dead? - It's a business tactic.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#38
You drop the bomb, then you soften the blow. You never tried this?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#39
- That's a terrible business tactic! - You are a horrible father.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#40
That's what I came to talk to you about.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#41
I hate the kind of person that your whore mother turned me into.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#42
The big house, the big car... I'm giving it all away.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#43
- Hmm? - Giving it away how?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#44
For starters, I'm giving all my money to charity.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#45
Then I'm gonna hang out with you two.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#46
That's what this is all about, spending time with my kids.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#47
- Hold on a second. - I wanna be the father I never was.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#48
- Shh, shh, shh. - Getting to know them.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#49
What did you say about the money?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#50
- I'm giving it all away. - That is a very stupid thing to do.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#51
You're a very stupid, stupid man. Who are you gonna give it to?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#52
I don't know. Poor people.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#53
- Poor people? - Poor people?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#54
What... What is your... Okay, where's Mom?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#55
Mom? She's on vacation banging one of the boys she hangs out with.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#56
Dennis, your mother is a dirty, dirty whore.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#57
Goddamn it, Dad! First you force me to run over my friend Charlie

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#58
and then you start talking about Mom like she's dead.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#59
- Now she's a dirty whore? - And the money.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#60
You can't waltz back into our lives and be our dad again!

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#61
- And the money. - It doesn't work that way.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#62
- You can't just barge in! - And the money!

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#63
And the money! My God, Dad!

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#64
All of our money? (gasps)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#65
- Well, that was awkward. - Yes, it was.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#66
- Sort of a private conversation. - Very much a family-type moment.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#67
- We didn't need to hear that. CHARLIE: Not for our ears.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#68
Wanna go to the strip club?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#69
(rock music playing) I don't know.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#70
I've been manically depressed for the past couple of years.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#71
I just feel like I need a serious change or I'm gonna kill myself.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#72
Right, so when you say you're giving your money away to poor people,

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#73
do you mean "Mexico" poor or can it be "Me and Charlie" poor?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#74
I haven't given that much thought.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#75
Put some thought into that one. Consider that.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#76
Yeah, man. Give that some thought.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#77
In the meantime, you wanna get shit-faced, bro. So I tell you what.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#78
Before we get crazy giving away our money here,

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#79
what do you say we buy a couple of pitchers,

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#80
maybe a few tequila shots, a few rounds of kamikazes.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#81
After that, we'll hit the town, tie on a serious buzz. Alright, bud?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#82
Oh, my God! You poor baby. What happened?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#83
My best friend ran me over with his car.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
S02E01 — Charlie Gets Crippled
#84
(gasps) Yeah.

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