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I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#289
When you went to the bathroom earlier to do the mud pie...

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#290
you must have used

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#291
too small of a slice of toilet paper when you wiped,

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#292
and you got mud pie on your hands,

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#293
and then you touched the receipt,

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#294
and then I ate the receipt,

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#295
-and now I'm sick off of your mud pie. -What the hell are you talking about?

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#296
You're probably sick 'cause you ate paper, you fricking psycho.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#297
No, I eat paper all the time!

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#298
What I don't like to make a habit of doing

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#299
is eating mud pie!

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#300
Why do you even eat paper?! That doesn't even make sense!

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#301
Okay, you guys, calm down! This is insane!

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#302
There's a simple solution to this.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#303
Jacob hasn't touched my gift receipt because he likes my gift.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#304
So we just have someone else eat my gift receipt

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#305
-and see if they get sick. -But it can't be Jacob,

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#306
'cause he's gonna pretend he's not sick even if it's caked in pure shit.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#307
[Melissa] I'll do it.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#308
I'll eat the receipt to solve the problem.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#309
And Jacob doesn't touch it!

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#310
[woman] That's right. And if Melissa gets sick,

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#311
then that means that paper makes you sick.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#312
But if Melissa doesn't get sick,

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#313
then that means Lev ate the mud pie.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#314
There is no mud pies, okay?

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#315
And I genuinely like the gifts.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#316
Swear to fucking God?

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#317
Yes.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#318
Then let my wife eat the fucking receipt.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#319
[murmuring]

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#320
Oka... Okay.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#321
I am now sanitizing my hands. I have not gone to the bathroom yet today.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#322
I took a shower last night after I took a piss and shit.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#323
Now... someone hand me the receipt.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#324
Jacob, don't you get anywhere near that!

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#325
[Melissa inhales deeply]

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#326
-[Rick] How you doing, honey? -[Melissa] I feel...

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#327
fine.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#328
-[partygoers gasp] -Paper doesn't make you sick on its own.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#329
-He used too small a piece. -Lev's probably not even sick!

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#330
-He's probably faking it! -You son of a bitch!

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#331
[groans in pain]

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#332
[Rick] Jacob was lying about the mud pie.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#333
And if he was lying about something as simple

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#334
as grabbing too small a slice,

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#335
that probably means he doesn't like the gift either.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
S01E01 — Has This Ever Happened To You
#336
-Exactly! -But you liked my gift, right, Jacob?

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